Where the Heart Lies (32 page)

‘Murmur?’ Julie held William closer.

‘It’s only a slight murmur,’ he said hurriedly, ‘and I’m hoping that as William grows, it will settle down.’

‘But it hasn’t yet, has it?’ she said, her fear making her sharp with him. ‘You can still hear it.’

He nodded. ‘I’m sorry, Julie, but Sam Watson heard it too, and that’s why I got Mr Philips to send down the notes.’

‘So you weren’t really discussing rugby that afternoon, were you?’ she said accusingly.

He shamefacedly shook his head.

‘I might have known,’ she snapped. ‘And what about Mr Philips? He gave William a clean bill of health and mentioned nothing about any heart murmur.’ Her voice was rising as the fear and anger took hold. ‘Didn’t any of you think I should know? When were you actually planning to tell me – when he got sick, when . . .?’

She clutched William and fought back the tears. ‘Oh, God,’ she breathed, ‘he’s not got heart disease,
has he? He’s not going to suffer all his life like poor little Franny?’

‘Of course he isn’t,’ Michael said hastily. He rushed round the examination table and put his arm round her, unaware of Eunice’s glower, Mrs Owen’s avid curiosity or Jess and Fay’s exchange of knowing looks. ‘The murmur just means that there’s probably a tiny hole in his heart which will heal as he grows.’

She looked at him in horror. ‘A hole? In his heart?’

‘It’s not as serious as it sounds,’ he said firmly. ‘It’s a very small heart, and therefore will be a very tiny hole, and it is absolutely possible that it may close of its own accord. At the moment it is causing William some problems, like his failing to thrive and his cold extremities, but he seems to be holding up well.’

Julie felt chilled to her very core. ‘What happens if the hole doesn’t heal naturally?’

‘After reading through the notes, I spoke to Sam before I came here this morning, and it is possible he will need an operation – but,’ he added quickly, ‘no surgeon would dream of doing that while he’s still so small. It’s not crucial, Julie, so I don’t want you thinking otherwise. Babies are incredibly resilient, and although he’s small, he’s tougher than you think, and in no immediate danger.’

Julie stared at him, unable to voice the terror that had her in its grip.

Michael held her firmly by the shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. ‘I know you’re
frightened, Julie, but I promise Sam Watson and I will give him the very best of care, and you are to promise me that you’ll come to me any hour of the day or night if the slightest thing is worrying you.’

She looked through her tears into his kindly eyes and knew she had to trust him. ‘Is there anything we can do to help him get better?’

Michael became businesslike and reached for his prescription pad. ‘Sam has suggested I put him on diuretics so he doesn’t retain fluid, and give him something to strengthen his heart and make it more efficient, which will improve his circulation. This combination of medication will make him more comfortable, which will, in turn, probably improve his appetite.’

‘Is that it?’

‘I will need to see him every month, but if he gets a cold, a chest infection or anything similar, you’re to call me at once. That’s very important, Julie, because I will need to get Sam to check him over.’

Julie could see herself rushing to Michael every time William sneezed or frowned, and wasn’t at all sure if she could cope with this devastating turn of events, let alone trust the others to be as watchful. ‘Perhaps I should think about cutting down me hours,’ she murmured. ‘I can’t expect Peggy and the others to take on that kind of responsibility.’

Michael’s smile was understanding and kind as he handed her the prescription. ‘I know you’ll panic over the slightest thing,’ he said softly, ‘but it’s only
natural and doesn’t matter a jot.’ He squeezed her arm encouragingly. ‘As for cutting down your hours, I won’t hear of it. The important thing is for you and William to carry on as normal. He won’t benefit from being fussed over, and if he gets a cold, I can deal with it. Let him be with other children, enjoy him and don’t feel you all have to treat him like cut crystal. He needs to continue to be a part of the rough and tumble of the family at Beach View, just as you need to continue doing the job you love. As long as you’re both contented he has a better chance of thriving.’

Julie nodded, realising that his advice made a lot of sense. Yet she couldn’t dismiss the thought that she would never forgive herself if anything were to happen to William while she was at work. On the other hand, if she gave up her job, she’d have no money to pay for William’s prescriptions and all his other needs. They didn’t come cheap – and neither did Sam Watson.

‘I’ll see how things go,’ she said reluctantly.

‘You aren’t alone in this, Julie,’ he said softly. ‘We’ll look after him together.’

She looked up at him and suddenly wanted him to hold her, to be her rock and provide the strength she would need to get through this. She swayed towards him as they looked into one another’s eyes.

‘Dr Michael, I need to talk to you about one of my patients.’

The sound of Eunice’s voice snapped Julie from
the trance that had enveloped them both and almost sent her into Michael’s arms. She masked her embarrassment by turning away to settle William in the pram and used the moment to regain her poise. She would have to be very careful from now on, she realised suddenly, for despite all her protests to the contrary, she was as drawn to Michael as he was to her.

Eunice had bitterly watched that little scene between Michael and Julie, and had noted the sly glances exchanged by Jess and Fay. It seemed she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed the growing attraction, and it was time to put an end to it.

She kept her thoughts to herself as Michael waved a cheerful goodbye and hurried off. Ignoring Julie and the other two girls, she finished with Mrs Owen, tidied up her corner and swept out of the hall without a word to anyone. It wasn’t a long walk back to the surgery, but she didn’t hurry, for she needed time to think clearly.

She’d seen the suspicion in Julie’s eyes, and had felt ashamed that she could think she was capable of hiding medical files. She was a professional, and despite her animosity towards Julie, she would never have put a patient at risk like that. But William’s heart problems actually played right into her hands. She had a real weapon now, and as long as she used it wisely, it would reflect on her rather well – and perhaps get rid of Julie once and for all.

The surgery was closed, Michael was at the rugby club where he spent most Saturday afternoons, and Dr Sayers would be in his garden tending his roses. The timing was perfect.

She found the elderly doctor sitting on a bench in the sunshine, a gardening manual on his lap as he inspected the black spots on the leaves of his favourite climbing rose. ‘Dr Sayers,’ she said warmly. ‘I’m so sorry to disturb you, but I wonder if I could ask your advice on something?’

He smiled back at her, saw her anxious expression, and reached for her hand. ‘My dear, of course you can.’ He patted the bench. ‘Sit down, Eunice, and tell me all about it.’

JULIE HAD RETURNED
to Beach View in a daze of confusion and worry. That short interlude with Michael had been a moment of madness, she decided. Of course she didn’t love him. She’d merely fallen into the same trap as a thousand nurses and patients before her and had seen him as some sort of saviour – a kind man who really cared, a knight in a white coat who had the answer to everything.

She wheeled the pram through the back garden and into the basement. Both babies were awake and beginning to complain that they needed feeding. She picked up Rose and carried her up into the kitchen where she found a rather sad-faced Mrs Finch staring out of the window above the sink.

‘They’ve all left for the service,’ she said with a sigh. ‘I do hope it’s not too awful – but then that kind of service is never easy to get through.’ She seemed to make an effort to shrug off her gloom by fetching cups and saucers from the wooden draining board and warming the teapot. ‘The kettle’s almost boiled. I expect you could do with a cuppa.’

‘Could you take Rose while I fetch William?’

Mrs Finch’s little face brightened considerably and she sat down in the fireside chair and held out her arms. ‘I never mind holding them,’ she said softly. ‘Such sweet babies.’ She placed a soft finger on Rose’s cheek and started clucking at her.

Julie fetched William and quickly changed his nappy. ‘Could we do a swap? I need to change Rose and then get their food prepared.’

‘We can’t go down to the shop at the moment, dear,’ said Mrs Finch, ‘and anyway, my clothes don’t need changing. They’re perfectly adequate.’

Julie gave her a wan smile and exchanged William for Rose, saw to the sodden nappy and put her in the playpen that Ron had managed to squeeze in a corner. William and Mrs Finch looked very happy with each other, so she left him in her care and hurried to make the formula for Rose and mix up a small dish of vegetables for William.

She fed Rose while Mrs Finch managed to persuade William to eat some of the mashed vegetables whilst getting most of it down his front and all over his face. It took quite a while and Rose was already drowsy by the time Mrs Finch gave up. Carefully putting Rose back in the playpen and covering her with a blanket, Julie made up the formula for William and added the correct dosage of the medicines she’d brought back from the chemist. She gave the bottle a shake to make sure it mixed well, tested its heat, and handed it to Mrs Finch.

Mrs Finch eyed Julie and the bottle with suspicion
as she did her best to clean William’s face and bib. ‘What’s that you put in there?’

‘William needs to have some medicine,’ Julie said loudly and clearly so there would be no misunderstanding. ‘The doctor says he has a heart problem and that medicine will make it stronger.’

‘Oh, poor little mite,’ Mrs Finch quavered as she held William closer and gave him the bottle. ‘His heart, you say? What’s the matter with it?’

Julie explained it simply, and reassured her that William was in no immediate danger. ‘But please don’t say anything to Peggy or the others just yet. They’ve got enough to cope with at the moment.’

‘You can rely on me, dear. I’m the soul of discretion.’

Julie suspected she couldn’t keep a secret for more than five minutes, but let it pass. ‘In the meantime, I’ll need you to help me keep an eye on him, Mrs Finch,’ she said. ‘He will need lots of cuddles and love, but he musn’t catch a cold or get sick, so we’ll have to be extra especially careful – and I’m going to have to rely on you to keep watch over him while I’m at work.’

Mrs Finch’s gaze was steady as she looked back at Julie. ‘Of course I’ll love him and look after him, and take the greatest care of him as I do Rose. But I’m not a fool, Julie. I know why you’ve asked me to do this.’

Julie kept her expression non-committal as she returned that gaze. ‘I asked you because you’re
reliable and wise, and obviously dote on both babies.’

Mrs Finch chuckled. ‘You’re a sweet girl,’ she said, ‘but you’d make a terrible poker player.’ She gave a sigh and stroked William’s peachy cheek. ‘I know I’ve been a bit down in the dumps lately, but I can see now that I was being rather selfish and silly. We have one life, and should live it to the full, not wish it away – and there’s nothing like caring for others to take your mind off things.’ She looked back at Julie, her eyes twinkling. ‘It’s all right, Julie,’ she murmured. ‘I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet.’

Julie smiled. Her strategy had worked, and at last Mrs Finch seemed to be regaining her spirits.

Monday morning was one of those lovely, crisp days when the world seemed all fresh and new, with blossoms from the trees floating like pink and white confetti in the brisk breeze, and green shoots poking up between the bluebells and crocuses. Julie still hadn’t said anything to the others about William, but she knew that Mrs Finch would keep a close eye on him and ask for help if she needed it, so she felt reasonably happy about leaving him.

Feeling tired and rather anxious after being out half the night attending to a delivery in a remote cottage north of the town, she arrived at the surgery to find that there was no sign of Eunice or Michael. But the elderly Dr Sayers was in the waiting room
going through patients’ notes while Maud crashed the noisy Hoover against the chair legs. His expression didn’t bode well. He was obviously having one of his famous grumpy days.

He looked up and glowered at Maud. ‘Turn that thing off and find something else to do that doesn’t make so much noise,’ he barked.

Maud’s look was sour as she took the Hoover out. Seconds later they heard the clatter of buckets in the kitchen, each bang and crash a forceful condemnation of his rudeness.

‘Damned woman can’t seem to do anything without making a racket,’ he grumbled. He finally looked at Julie. ‘Sister Harris,’ he said solemnly, ‘you and I need to have a talk.’

Julie felt a quiver of unease as she followed him into his consulting room and closed the door behind her. She sat on the edge of the chair, her starched apron carefully smoothed over her knees.

He sat behind his large desk, his hands folded over his midriff. He didn’t look at all jolly this morning, and as her gaze fell on William’s medical folder, which lay between them, she felt a pang of fear.

‘I was very sorry to learn of William’s problems,’ he said, coming straight to the point as he always did. ‘It must be difficult for you.’

‘Michael and Mr Watson have promised to keep a close eye on him,’ said Julie nervously. ‘It’s a big worry, of course, but the family at Beach View are
very understanding, and I know I can rely on them to look after him while I’m working.’

‘Have you considered that your place is with William rather than here? I would understand completely if you wished to hand in your notice.’

Alarmed, she caught her breath. ‘I need to work to pay for his medication and everyday expenses,’ she said quickly. ‘As long as William is able to cope with this disability, I intend to carry on.’

‘I see,’ he said quietly. His gaze was steady beneath the curling white brows. ‘That is all very well, Sister Harris, but if things do take a turn for the worse, I cannot be expected to find your replacement at the drop of a hat. I did warn you that I will not tolerate any interruption to the smooth running of this surgery.’