Where the Heart Lies (42 page)

With her arms folded tightly about her thickened waist, she watched Anne say goodbye to Ron and her father, and then gently kiss Mrs Finch. Cissy of course made a great drama out of the whole thing by bursting into tears and had to be soothed by the ever-helpful James.

As everyone milled about in the hall, Peggy’s emotions were all over the place. She wanted this moment to be over, but didn’t want them to leave; wanted to tell everyone about the baby she was expecting, but knew this was not the time. So she stood dumbly to one side, waiting.

‘I’ve got ten days’ leave,’ said Martin as he came to stand beside her. ‘So I’ll be with her while she settles in. Don’t fret, Peggy. They’ll both be safer there.’

‘I know,’ she said, and dredged up a smile.

He squeezed her arm in sympathy and went over to Anne. ‘Come on, darling,’ he said firmly. ‘We have a long drive ahead of us, and nobody likes drawn-out farewells.’

Jim came to stand beside Peggy on the top step as Martin settled Anne and the baby in the passenger seat. She leaned against him, glad of his sturdy support in this painful moment, but couldn’t quite manage to stop her tears as Anne waved out of the window and Martin drove off down the street.

And then they were gone, the sound of the car’s
engine fading into the distance until there was silence again.

Jim gently steered her back into the house and closed the door. ‘It’s all right, Peg,’ he said, his own voice unsteady. ‘This war will soon be over, and then we’ll have all our chicks home again.’

Peggy nodded, but she had the darkest dread in her heart that this war was far from over, and that it could be years before she saw them again.

As June ended, all the war news concerned Germany’s shocking invasion of Russia, and their capture of Minsk. In the first week of July Stalin called for a ‘Scorched Earth’ policy, but seven days later the Germans crossed into the Ukraine and Britain made a pact of mutual assistance with Russia.

The heavy bombing raids in Cliffehaven lessened, although there were a few tip-and-runs that caught everyone on the hop, and the noise of British aircraft taking off and landing at the nearby base had become such a familiar background to everyday life that no one noticed it much any more.

Julie was busier than ever on her rounds, for there was still no sign of another district nurse joining the practice, and Jess had left to begin her training at the hospital. Eunice was unhelpful as usual, Michael continued to keep his distance, and his father was spending more time in his garden than in his consulting room. However, William’s health was improving by the week, and his last check-up had
shown that his heart rhythm had steadied, the murmur almost inaudible. It seemed the prognosis was correct, her hopes fulfilled, for his heart was quietly mending itself.

It was now the middle of July and she returned to Beach View Boarding House after another long day, aching for a cool soak in the bath before supper. But William seemed to have other ideas. He was fretful and stubborn, refusing his food and wriggling away from her when she tried to soothe him. ‘Do you think he feels a bit warm, Peggy?’ she asked.

‘He is a bit,’ she replied, feeling his forehead. ‘But it’s been a hot day and all that crying won’t have helped. I’d give him a cool bath and move the cot under the open window, if I were you. It’s going to be a sticky night.’

‘Yes,’ Julie murmured, still not really convinced. Yet there was no rash, no cough, no wheezing in his chest or runny nose. She was probably just making a fuss over nothing.

Having shared a cool bath with him, she gave him a bottle of formula to soothe him further and laid him in the cot in just a vest and nappy. She didn’t leave him under the window as Peggy had suggested, since the night air could quickly turn cold, and she didn’t want to risk him getting a chill. She kissed him goodnight, left the nightlight glowing on the bedside table and went back downstairs.

‘I’m going to Eileen’s for an hour or so,’ she said as she ate her supper of sausage, potato and
tomatoes. ‘But I won’t be late back. William’s still rather warm, and I have an early start in the morning.’

‘That’s fine, dear,’ said Peggy. ‘I’ll keep an ear open for him.’ She regarded Julie over her teacup. ‘You and Eileen seem to be getting on better now,’ she said casually.

Julie nodded. ‘It was a bit tricky at first, but we had a long talk and cleared the air. I feel sorry for her, really,’ she sighed, pushing back her empty plate. ‘She’s awfully lonely, and I don’t think her councillor friend is about to propose. He’s too stuck in his ways.’

‘It can’t be easy for her,’ murmured Peggy. ‘But then, if you don’t mind my saying so, she only has herself to blame.’

Julie acknowledged her comment with a smile. ‘She can be daunting, I grant you. But I think that under all that gloss there’s a woman just crying out to have a home and family of her own.’

Julie looked at Peggy and saw something in her expression that told her she knew about Eileen’s baby. ‘She told me about what happened all those years ago,’ she said softly. ‘And I think that, as time has gone on, she’s frightened she won’t get another chance of being a mother.’

Peggy sipped her tea and lit a cigarette, her expression guarded. ‘I knew something of what happened back then, but of course one never learns the full story, just snippets of gossip here and there.’

Julie decided it wouldn’t hurt to tell Peggy, for she knew it wouldn’t go any further, and wanted to put the record straight so she’d see Eileen in a better light.

‘So, you see,’ she finished some time later, ‘she understood completely how I felt when I thought William would be taken away, and I’ll always be grateful to her for being so supportive.’

Peggy mashed out her cigarette. ‘I’m glad you’ve made it up with her,’ she said. ‘Family is so important – especially these days.’

Julie washed and dried her supper things, collected a cardigan in case it got cold later, and hurried off with a cheery wave.

Peggy eased her back as she pushed up from the table and headed down the cellar steps to the garden, where Mrs Finch was dozing in one of the elderly deckchairs Jim had resurrected from the shed at the first sign of a proper summer.

The early evening was warm and scented with lavender, rosemary and thyme, which Ron had planted in a big pot by the back door, and she could hear music coming from a nearby wireless. Ron was at the Anchor, Jim was in his projection room at the Odeon, and the girls had arranged to meet Cissy for a drink in the town. Cissy would be coming home for the night, which was a rare occurrence these days – and although she was delighted to have her home, she was rather nervous about it, for she
and Jim had decided it would be the perfect opportunity to tell everyone about the baby.

She sank into one of the other deckchairs and stared up at the sky, wondering what Cissy’s reaction would be to her news. Jim had promised to be with her when she told her, but she had a nasty feeling Cissy would blow a fuse.

Mrs Finch snorted in her sleep and Peggy smiled. The old dear seemed able to doze off at the drop of a hat, and she envied her. This baby was a lively one already, especially at night when she was just aching for sleep. She ran her hand softly over the small, neat swell of her stomach which still lay hidden beneath her voluminous wrap-round apron, her thoughts turning to Julie and Eileen.

It was clear that Eileen had been liberal with the truth, telling Julie only the things that would put her in a good light and evoke sympathy. In fact there was a whole lot more to that story, a much darker side that revealed how cunning and self-seeking Eileen Harris really was. And poor Rosie Braithwaite had been caught right in the middle of it.

Eventually Peggy roused Mrs Finch from her doze and they went indoors as the warmth seeped away from the evening. Switching on the wireless so it would warm up in time for the nine o’clock news, she went upstairs to check on William.

He was still rather warm, and his sleep was restless, but his breathing was even, so it seemed it was just the weather getting to him. She drew the thin
blanket over him and checked the window and the blackout curtains were closed before leaving the door ajar and returning to the kitchen.

‘I still can’t get over not having Rose Margaret asleep in the pram,’ she said to Mrs Finch as they settled down with a cup of tea after listening to the news. ‘The house seems empty without her, and I’m sure little William misses her.’

Mrs Finch raised a grey brow and regarded her over the top of her glasses. ‘By my reckoning,’ she said dryly, ‘the spare pram won’t be empty for long.’

Peggy put her hand protectively over her stomach and blushed.

Mrs Finch chuckled. ‘I might be a bit deaf,’ she said, ‘but I’m not blind, Peggy Reilly. When is it due?’

‘Early December,’ she breathed. ‘But how did you guess?’

‘I caught sight of you and Jim one morning around the time Anne left for Somerset. You both had a look of intensity about you, and he rested his hand on your stomach so tenderly that it left little doubt.’ She smiled happily. ‘I was waiting for you to tell everyone, but when you didn’t, I thought it best not to say anything.’

‘I wanted to keep it to myself for a bit,’ Peggy admitted.

Mrs Finch cocked her head, her expression concerned and kindly. ‘How do you feel about it, Peggy? Must have come as a bit of a shock?’

Peggy giggled. ‘You can say that again,’ she spluttered. ‘But once I’d got used to the idea, I realised how lucky I am. There’s not many women my age who get another chance at this, and I aim to enjoy every last moment of it.’

‘What’s all this about getting a second chance, Mum?’ Cissy appeared in the doorway and plonked herself down in a kitchen chair, shedding her gas-mask box and handbag on the floor beside her. ‘What have you done? Won a sweepstake or something?’

Peggy was startled by Cissy’s arrival and immediately worried about just how much she’d heard. ‘You’re home early,’ she said dazedly. ‘Where are the others?’

‘On their way,’ Cissy replied impatiently. ‘Come on, Mum. Spill the beans. You’re obviously excited about something, and you and Grandma Finch look like cats that have swallowed a canary.’

Peggy glanced at Mrs Finch, who gave a small shrug. ‘It’s up to you, dear, but it would probably be best if you told her first. She is family, after all.’

Peggy licked her lips as Cissy leaned towards her, her face alight with curiosity and excitement. ‘Your father and I—’ she began.

‘Yes,’ said Cissy impatiently.

Peggy couldn’t look at her daughter, for she was suddenly terrified of what her reaction might be. She placed her hand on the swell of her belly. ‘I’m having a baby,’ she said.

There was a stunned silence, and when Peggy
dared to look at Cissy, she saw nothing but horror in her expression. ‘It was as much a surprise to me as it obviously is to you,’ she said hurriedly, reaching for her hand. ‘But there’s nothing I can do about it. Please be happy for me, Cissy.’

Cissy pulled away and stood up. ‘I can’t believe you could do something like that at your age,’ she snapped. ‘It’s disgusting. And what will all my friends think? I’ll be the laughing stock of the office when they find out.’

‘Cissy, dear, do pull yourself together and think of someone other than yourself,’ ordered Mrs Finch in a tone that brooked no argument. ‘Your mother has enough to deal with, without you having hysterics.’

‘But she’s too old to be in the family way,’ Cissy stormed, the angry tears glistening in her eyes. ‘She’s a grandmother, for heaven’s sake, and it’s not decent.’

‘Now you’re sounding like your Aunt Doris,’ said Peggy firmly. ‘Sit down, Cissy, and stop behaving like a four-year-old.’

Cissy slumped back into her chair, all the careful elegance and contrived maturity draining out of her as she folded her arms and looked petulantly at her mother. ‘You’ve spoiled everything,’ she muttered. ‘James won’t want me now, and my friends will laugh at me.’

‘Then they’re not worth the effort,’ Peggy said mildly. ‘Real friends will understand and support
you – and if James is half the young man I think he is, then he’ll stick around too.’

She leaned across and took Cissy’s hands again, determined to get through to her. ‘I’m sorry if you find all this embarrassing, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Come December you’ll have a baby brother or sister, and I’m hoping by then you’ll accept the situation and learn to love it as we will.’

‘She’s told you then,’ stated Fran as she came into the room, followed by Rita and Suzy.

Cissy lifted her reddened eyes, the accusation clear in her expression. ‘You’ve already told them? How could you do that, Mum? I’m your daughter and—’

‘Of course she didn’t,’ interrupted Suzy firmly. ‘But we’re nurses, Cissy. Me and Fran and Julie have known for ages and were just waiting for Peggy to say something.’

Rita came and sat down next to her childhood friend. ‘Your mum’s probably just as confused and shell-shocked as you, Cissy,’ she said quietly. ‘But we all think it’s wonderful news, and hope that you will too.’

Cissy gripped Rita’s fingers as her gaze took in all three girls. ‘Really?’ she breathed. ‘You’re not just saying that to be kind?’

Rita pushed back the halo of dark curls from her face and laughed. ‘Of course not. We’re your friends, and we love and admire Peggy as if she was our mother. Don’t make it harder for her, Cissy. She’s
going to need all the support she can get over the coming months.’

Peggy watched the different expressions flit across her youngest daughter’s face, and blessed Rita for her common sense and kindness.

Cissy sniffed back her tears and carefully blotted her face with a handkerchief before giving Peggy a wavering smile. ‘I suppose I’ll get used to the idea,’ she said, ‘but it’s all a bit much to take in at the moment.’

‘That’s all right, darling,’ Peggy said softly. ‘It’s taken me a while too, but as long as you think you can come to terms with it, then I’m sure we can find some way of getting through this together.’ She looked round at the happy faces. ‘How about we all have a cup of cocoa to celebrate?’

Cissy nodded and pursed her lips. ‘Can we run to an extra spoon of sugar in it, do you think, and perhaps the cream off the top of the milk?’