Where the Sun Hides (Seasons of Betrayal #1) (30 page)

“Jesus, when did you become so pessimistic?”

Clear as day, Vera said, “The day my brother brought the
one female to my door that would surely get him a bullet to the forehead. How
do you want me to act, Kaz? Should I go out there and smile pretty, make sure
she’s happy and comfortable? Wait until her psychotic father sends some of his
people to kick in my door trying to get her back?”

“Don’t, Vera,” Kaz said with an edge to his voice. “Don’t
blame her for the decisions I made.”

“No, you’re just as guilty as she is, but at the end of the
day, she may get no more than a slap on the wrist. You, Kaz … they’re going to
bury you for this.”

Violet clenched the cup a little harder in her hands,
wondering how much truth was in Vera’s words.

Probably more than she wanted to admit.

They had gone into this whole thing so stupidly. Together,
sure, but dumb all the same. The innocence of it was quickly wiped away by the
fact it had always been hidden, quiet, and secret. That alone was enough to say
it was wrong, and they knew it was.

And yet, here they were.

Violet lifted her cup for another sip as Kaz strolled back
into the kitchen, his expression a blank slate. He stopped at the table, and
one by one, dropped the pictures down as he looked through them. She wasn’t
quite sure what to say, so she let him do whatever it was he was doing.

Finally, when he came to the last one—the most revealing of
them all—Kaz scowled and tossed it down, too. “These were not included in the
one Vasily showed me.”

Her heart stopped. “What?”

“The one photograph he showed me was innocent, and he
alluded to more, but nothing to this …” Kaz’s jaw clenched before he finished
with, “
Extent
.”

Anger and betrayal swirled fast in Violet’s emotions,
warring with one another for attention. “You
knew
he—”

Kaz spun around, a hand raising slowly. “Don’t do that with
me right now.”

Violet dropped her unfinished tea into the sink, the cup
clanging loudly against the metal. She took a step forward, hurt and so angry.
“Don’t do this? Like what, like I shouldn’t be angry with you that you already
knew?”

“You’re assuming. Don’t assume.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child, Kaz.”

“I’m not. You’re angry, and you’re worried. You’re lashing
out at me instead of listening to me.”

Violet had all she could do to stay where she was, knowing
he had a point. It didn’t help her fury a great deal. “Go ahead, then, explain
to me how you knew he had pictures of us, and you couldn’t be bothered to pick
up a phone and at least
tell me
that he had them!”

“Have you thought … Oh, I don’t know, in the last fifteen
or so minutes—maybe since you got the pictures—that this was exactly why I
didn’t call you?”

How was he so calm when she was clearly pissed?

“You’re doing it again. Patronizing me. Stop it.”

Kaz sighed, and raked a hand down his face. “I knew he had
the pictures, yes, but he also made it clear that if he caught me running
around with you again, that he would send them to your father. I was waiting
for his attention to cool down enough that I might be able to get away with
meeting up with you. This wasn’t something I wanted to do over the phone,
Violet. But let’s not forget how he had someone following me for weeks.”

Violet snapped back at the sudden heat in Kaz’s tone. “I—”

“Weeks,” he repeated sharply. “And obviously, by the looks
of those last few, we can safely fucking assume I get so entirely distracted by
you that I don’t even notice when someone is photographing me from outside
my
goddamn home!”

“Don’t blame me. It wasn’t just me.”

Kaz let out a short, dry laugh. “Oh, Violet. I don’t blame
you for very damn much. Some things, yes, but not this mess.”

Violet wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but his posture
softened and that calm mask fell away. He was in no better shape than her, and
that left her lost.

Because she was okay to panic.

Kaz would stay calm.

She could rage.

He wouldn’t.

This wasn’t right at all.

“I’m sorry,” Violet said.

“God, for what?” Kaz asked.

“I don’t know. Assuming, I guess.”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Violet wrapped an arm around her middle, feeling like she
just needed to hold herself together in a different way or she was going to
fall apart all over the fucking floor. “But you do blame me for something.”

Kaz shook his head, letting out a hard breath. “Don’t do
that, either.”

“Well, you said it.”

“You’re looking into something that’s not there—seeing it
all wrong.”

“You said it!”

Kaz crossed the space between them in a flash, grabbing her
waist with one hand, her jaw with the other, and pulling her close. With no
warning, he closed that little bit of distance too, kissing her hard and fast,
letting her find that familiar heat of his and how it soothed her like nothing
else.

Violet sucked in a ragged breath when Kaz finally pulled
away, rested his forehead to hers, and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

“I don’t blame you for this mess,” he said again, his tone
much softer than she’d heard him speak before.

And maybe she knew it then …

What Vera had meant on the doorstep.

It was … like that for them.

“I blame you for being you,” Kaz murmured. “And who you are
made it so easy for me to love you. And I blame you entirely for that.”

Violet felt a sliver of wetness escape from the corner of
her eye, but Kaz quickly swiped it away with the next stroke of his thumb.

“You shouldn’t cry when someone tells you they love you,”
he said.

“Should you cry if you’re just figuring out that you love
them, too?”

Kaz smiled. “I don’t know. I’ve never been here before.”

“Yeah, me either.”

She still wasn’t sure if it was going to end well for them.

And that colored everything that should have been beautiful
a little black.

Violet fingered the soft detailing on the silver comforter
as Kaz paced the length of the spare bedroom.

“What are we doing?” she asked.

“I’m thinking,” he replied. “You’re …”

“What?”

“Helping.”

Violet scoffed. “By sitting here?”

Kaz’s pacing stopped abruptly. “Yes.”

“That doesn’t seem very helpful of me, Kaz.”

“You don’t seem to understand the importance of your
presence. That, or you undervalue it a lot more than you should. And I partly
blame that on your father because clearly he has it stuck in your head that
your only use is to be pleasing and to his standards.”

Violet didn’t deny what he said.

It was true.

It just took her a while to see it, too.

“It might help if, instead of telling me why I am this
way—something I already know, thanks—you could try explaining why I help you by
just being here.”

Kaz’s icy gaze melted a bit. “I said that wrong, no?”

Violet shrugged. “Maybe just the wrong way.”

Instantly, he moved toward her, dropping down into a
crouch, his hands finding her bare knees. After yet another snapping match
between him and Vera, his sister had pointed out that she had a spare
bedroom—if they wanted to use it—but that they needed to figure something else
out and soon. Violet, wanting to get back into her safe place for at least a
little while, had stripped out of her clothes and snagged Kaz’s shirt when he
had jumped into the shower.

“You help me,” he started to say, “because even if you
distract me a great deal of the time, that also means I’m focusing on only you.
And right now, that’s where I need to focus. On you, Violet.”

“Okay.”

“That’s it?”

“If it’s what you want, then whatever.”

She didn’t have to pretend to understand him to love him.
It just … was.

Kaz chuckled, and then leaned forward, resting his head on
her lap. She trailed her fingers through his hair, taking that silent moment as
there didn’t seem to be nearly enough of them.

“You’re one of my earliest memories,” Kaz said.

Violet’s fingers stilled. “What?”

“That day in the graveyard when you were four and I was
ten. I have other memories of being younger than that, but that one day is so
clear for me, above all the rest. I couldn’t see a thing, not good enough for
it to be worth mentioning, anyway.”

“And what?”

“There’s no fuzziness around it. I remember things
surrounding that day, and even going to the graveyard. But nothing was quite as
clear and as bright as you. Everything was hiding from me in a way, because I
couldn’t see it. I saw the sun that day, Violet, and it was you.”

Violet let her fingers start to wander and thread through
his hair again. “I didn’t know you looked at it like that.”

Kaz laughed. “You jumped off the bench and told me we would
do this again. I think I’ve been waiting for that day to come for a long time.”

“I was … precocious. Or that’s what everyone says.”

“You were—are—something else,” he said, pressing a soft
kiss to her thigh.

Violet shivered when his lips touched down to her skin
again … higher the second time, and then higher again the third time. Her hands
slid down from his hair to his shoulders as he kissed a path over her thigh,
and then her hip. His fingers worked at the two buttons she had done up at the
middle of the dress shirt before he was pushing the clothing off her shoulders
and kissing a slow trail from her navel to the lace covering her breasts.

Kaz’s hands cupped her neck and jaw, and his mouth came to
a stop at the hollow of her throat. She felt his breath stutter against her
skin, like he was chewing on what he wanted to say, but not sure he wanted to
say it.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” he finally
whispered.

Violet blinked away the wetness in her gaze, letting her
fingers stroke his bare back, feeling his muscles jump under her touch. “Does
it matter right now?”

“I want to tell you that I have it figured out—that it’ll
be better tomorrow. I want to do that for you right now.”

“Kaz—”

His fingers pressed into her skin, rough but sweet,
quieting her.

“I don’t want to lie to you,” Kaz said.

Violet hugged him. “So, don’t. Tell me something that’s not
a lie. Something that’s true.”

Kaz kissed her collarbone, making a tremor race down her
spine. His mark there had long gone away and faded, as had the other one on the
other side. But she swore she could still see it every time she looked at it,
and when she touched the spot, it was like every nerve was attached to that one
part of her skin for a brief moment.

“Something true?” he asked.

Violet slid her hands from his back under his jaw, tilting
his head up so she could see his eyes. Love stared back, and that was enough
for her. “Yeah.”

“I would rather show you what you already know, Violet.”

She tipped her head down just enough to capture his mouth
with hers. The soft, steady sweep of his lips, and the stroke of his tongue
against the seam of her lips had her deepening the kiss. She wanted more of him
then—more of him to taste, and to feel.

All of him.

Kaz never broke the kiss as he lifted enough from the floor
to push Violet back to the silky comforter. He was already shoving his undone
pants down along with his boxer-briefs a second before he met her on the bed.
She widened her legs under his urging hands, hooking them around his waist.

When he finally tore his mouth away from hers, she only had
one quick moment to take in a breath, and then he was there …