That was not what she'd expected to hear. The change shouldn't be as hard as losing the woman he loved, right? So why had he put it that way? Was he hiding his true pain? That he wanted to protect her made sense, but he needed to know she was there for him.
"I'm so sorry she hurt you."
He looked surprised. “You couldn't know. I knew she was unhappy. I just ... didn't do anything to change it. You know how it is. You think if you ignore something it will go away."
She did know that. She glanced out the door again.
"Eddie's not here."
"No, I know,” she said automatically, though truthfully, she hadn't thought of him till that minute. Before, she would find out if he was on the schedule before dropping by. No, today it was a different handsome firefighter, whose schedule she did know, that she was looking for.
"Have you seen Seth?” She wanted to swallow the words the minute they left her mouth. She knew how they sounded to her own ears; did they sound the same to her dad?
"No, why?” His tone had her turning back to see that suspicion had darkened his expression. “Did you dress like this for him?"
"Please.” She tossed her hair and hoped he wouldn't see through her. “He said he'd give me money, too."
"What are you getting out of it?"
"Dad!” She hopped off the desk. “Nothing. I'm just doing him a favor."
"It's your favors I'm worried about. Especially when I see you dressed like that.” He nodded at the skirt again.
She straightened it nervously. “I thought you liked Seth."
He nodded, but his brow was still furrowed. “I do, but I'm a father. And I see the boy isn't ready to settle down. The timing's not right for you. I don't want you to be another one of his conquests."
"Please. I know him better than anyone. I know he's not interested in anything long-term. Not that that's something I need to worry about.” But boy, did it hurt to say it. She couldn't let her father see; she couldn't let anyone know. “So how are you getting along? You know you can come stay with me."
Mitch spread his hands and gave her a weary smile. “This is home."
Yes, it was. She knew that, had known it all her life. At times like this, she wished she'd been able to pass the firefighter's course. She was almost jealous Seth had been able to do what she couldn't make herself do.
And then she heard his voice. She stopped herself from spinning around to look for him. Instead, she lifted her head as casually as she could manage, and saw him walking past the office with Mary Ann Vasquez, the sole woman at the station. Then, as if sensing her, he turned and looked straight at Lauren. Surprise registered in his eyes, then he smiled. He excused himself from Mary Ann and walked into Mitch's office. He skimmed his eyes over her outfit and her body temperature spiked. Then he crouched and looked at her knee, his fingers brushing lightly over the bare skin. She ground her teeth not to react to the intimacy, especially in front of her father.
"You think you should be walking around on heels already?” Seth asked.
She repressed the urge to crack him in the jaw with her other knee. That was the completely wrong reaction to her carefully planned outfit. He must have sensed her growing temper, because he straightened and took a step back.
"You have money for me?” she asked, and hoped her voice didn't sound as strained to the two men as it did to her own ears.
Seth arched a brow. “What for? Did I lose another bet?"
"For Crystal's present. I'm going shopping, remember?"
"Ah.” He reached for his wallet, looked into it and frowned. She peered into it as well and saw nothing but receipts, a ten and a five.
"That ain't gonna cut it."
He grunted and pulled out his ATM card. “Get a couple hundred out with this. You know the code."
She did, from countless drive-thru transactions. Still, she hesitated, her fingers flexing as she looked up at him. “You trust me?"
"Not when you're dressed like that.” He winked. “But I haven't gotten paid yet. You can't do too much damage. Just don't go offering to buy all the bridesmaids lunch, all right?"
She smiled and nipped the card from his hand. “Thanks for the idea.” She turned and kissed her father's cheek, not missing his look of disbelief.
"Any charges from The Cheesecake Factory and I'm coming after you,” Seth said, following her out of Mitch's office.
"Duly noted."
"Seriously, Lauren.” He caught her arm and she turned to look at him. “Get something nice. She's my baby sister."
She patted his cheek, needing to—just needing. His skin was warm, slightly prickly and her hand dropped away before her fingers got the idea to caress. “She'll get the best."
Seth stopped by Lauren's house after his shift the following morning. He needed his ATM card, and he wanted to see what she bought Crystal. Hell, no excuses. He wanted to see her.
God save him from high-heeled boots.
As he waited after ringing the doorbell, he wondered when he'd stopped worrying that she had someone overnight. Had he ever worried about it? No, because he'd never encountered it. Even when she was dating Ed, Seth had never seen the guy there the next morning.
Maybe Seth just hadn't come around as much in those days.
Lauren opened the door. No high-heeled boots today. She looked fresh out of bed, rumpled, messy in a sweatshirt and plaid flannel pants, fluffy slippers. His Lauren.
And instead of being relieved, he stepped inside, cupped her face in both his hands, and kissed her.
Oh, man. She was minty and soft, and her lips parted in surprise under his. He had enough wits to give her a couple of seconds before he tilted her head and took the kiss deeper. She made a sound that might have been protest, and he started to pull back, but then she wound her arms around his neck and brushed her tongue over his lower lip. He accepted the invitation.
The inside of her mouth was warm, and the heat she gave off inviting. He slid his hands into her hair, twining his fingers through the silken strands, releasing the scent that had plagued him for weeks, heightened his desire. His hands followed the curve of her head to grip her shoulders, and he knew she wasn't wearing anything silky under that sweatshirt. She wasn't wearing anything at all.
And just like that, ice water. He dropped his hands and stepped back, realizing he'd pinned her to the wall behind the door, like some—some...
Not like he ever wanted to treat Lauren.
"Oh, man, Lauren, I am so sorry."
Her expression, which had been dreamy, if confused, sharpened into anger in less than a blink. “For what?"
"For...” Wanting to feel you up. Wanting to let you see how much I want to see you naked. “I shouldn't have done that.” Bail, bail, bail, the alarm in his head blared. It had saved his life many a time in a fire, and he wouldn't ignore it now. He took a backwards step toward the door.
"Why did you?"
Damn, she was going to trap him with talking, asking questions he didn't know how to answer. “I ... the ... you—” Great coherence there, Seth, my man.
She took a step toward him, her arms crossed beneath the breasts that—
"Why did you?” she repeated, close enough to touch. He clenched his hands to resist the urge. Why hadn't he had this self-control earlier?
"I've got to go,” he said, and bolted.
When she shouted, “Coward!” he couldn't disagree.
The next day Mitch handed him an envelope. Seth took it with a frown, slit it open with his thumb. His ATM card, and a note. “You're very lucky I didn't wipe you out."
Damn. Hell hath no fury.
Seth was late for the wedding rehearsal. Great, more time for Lauren's nerves to be jumping. She hadn't laid eyes on him since that bone-melting kiss on Sunday, hadn't spoken to him. This had to be the longest stretch of time in recent memory that they hadn't spoken, and the reason why was clear. Neither had a clue what to say.
She'd trembled for hours after the kiss, partly because of the kiss itself, partly because of who kissed her, and partly because it had ended way too soon. She could have kissed him the rest of the day, heck, even up till now. That would have given him a good reason to be late.
And then he'd gone and apologized. Had he apologized because they were friends, or because he thought she was some kind of innocent he'd compromised? In either case, not complimentary.
Getting kissed as soon as she'd opened the door, now that was complimentary.
She realized it was a mistake; that he'd been right to pull away. It didn't mean she had to like it, not when kissing Seth was on her top ten list of things she wanted to do before she died. Doing other things to him was in the top three. But getting involved with anyone now would be hard. Getting involved with No-Future-Seth Escamilla would be devastating.
The door of the old church's vestibule opened and he rushed in. She was such a fool. Her heart turned over. He was so handsome, his hair a little tousled, like he'd been in a hurry, his knit polo shirt displaying his attributes, and he wore that damned leather thong around his neck with the medal resting in the hollow of his throat.
Stupid. Fool. Idiot. She was only asking for pain to let herself feel anything for this man.
So she bared her teeth in a parody of a smile when he came over. On top of kissing her and not talking to her, he had to partner her for the wedding. It wasn't a big deal before, but now...
"How've you been?” he asked in an almost whisper.
If he wanted to know, he would have called, right? So the plan was to forget it happened. She'd let him think she was playing along.
"How hard can a wedding be that we have to rehearse?” she grumbled.
"I think it's not so much for us as for Enrique and Crystal."
On top of looking great, he was also cheerful. That he didn't agree with her made her grumble more. “So why do we have to be here?"
"Free food afterward at La Margarita,” he said with that grin. Trying to loosen her up, she thought, her mood darkening. He would pay.
He offered his elbow and a minute passed before she realized he meant for her to take it. She slid her hand into the crook of his arm nonchalantly. Tomorrow he'd wear a tux, but now warm bare skin lay under her palm, and the hair of his forearm tickled.
"Thanks for not wiping out my bank account,” he murmured, bending down to speak, his breath stirring her hair. She closed her eyes against the thrill that raced through her then raised her free hand to swipe her hair back, shooing him away.
He straightened, taking the hint. Finally.
Crystal had warned him that Lauren was edgy, but he hadn't expected she'd push him away. He'd never had a hard time getting Lauren to loosen up, but right now she was wound so tight, he expected her to spring into the rafters. She didn't talk, only touched him when she had to. Okay, so he was a little nervous, too. He hadn't seen her since the kiss, and his emotions were all jumbled.
Touching her had always come so naturally, and now it felt like every touch had a deeper meaning, an ulterior motive.
Like pinning her to the wall again.
Damn, he could not think of that, in church of all places. Only it was all he could think about, and he needed to be a big boy and own up to it. Standing here at the altar, looking at her while she looked at everything but him, he had to make a move soon, or things would never be the same.
"We need to talk,” he said the minute she took his arm to go back up the aisle. He didn't even give her a chance to stiffen up, but slipped his hand down to hers and pulled her out the door and around the corner before anyone could follow.
For a crazy minute, he thought about pulling her close and kissing her again, and he could tell by the tension in Lauren's body that she expected that too. But he controlled himself, leaned against the bike rack and folded his arms.
"I want to talk about the kiss."
She mimicked his stance. “You want to talk about it."
"I think you should know it's something I've been thinking about for awhile."
He saw the surprise on her face before suspicion took over. “How long is awhile?"
"A few weeks."
"Since the bathroom."
It took a minute for her meaning to sink in, then it hit him with all the warmth of a steamy shower. You know, the kind that had clingy garments sticking to curvy bodies. Those kind of thoughts he shouldn't even be thinking in a church parking lot.
"I never thought of you as the silky-underthings type."
"I'm not."
"But you were—"
"Everything else was dirty."
Not the choice of words he'd use, in his state of mind. Or out of his mind, take your pick.
She tilted her head and looked at him, no longer defensive. Curious maybe. “So you've been looking at me and seeing—"
He covered his face with his hands. “Stop. I don't want to think about it."
She squared her shoulders with a bit of swagger. Pride. Power. Hell.
"So is this a good thing, or a bad thing?” she asked.
"You know all the reasons this can't happen.” Only she didn't, not all. And he couldn't tell her.
"I know the kiss was incredible."
Damn straight. “And you know what kind of man I am.” God, it hurt to say that, even more than he expected. But that was all she had to know. “It's not worth risking our friendship, Lauren. I'm sorry."
But somehow, she didn't look all that upset about it.
So. It was out in the open. Seth sat beside Lauren in the restaurant. The wedding party and the family were seated in the upstairs loft of the Market Square restaurant, surrounded by garish sombreros and piñatas, things tourists expected to see in a San Antonio restaurant. The group was loud, tension high in anticipation of tomorrow's wedding. Next to him, Lauren chattered with his Tia Sarah. Everything was okay, back to normal. He could look at her now that they'd talked. He could look and not see the sexy lady he'd kissed breathless. Yep. Liberating.
Normal was good.
And then she brushed his leg with hers under the table; an accident, while adjusting her chair so his Tia Angelica could get by. He shifted out of the way, watching Lauren's face. No reaction.