Where There's Smoke: A Texas Heat Novel (8 page)

He laughed bitterly. “Let me let you in on a dirty little secret,” he hiccupped, his blue eyes hooded and forlorn. “You know the drunk driver that ran Felicity off the road and put her in a wheelchair? Yeah, that was me.”

Sawyer gasped. Rowan told her about the accident that nearly killed his sister. According to the police report, the drunk driver that swerved in her lane and broke nearly every bone in her body was never found. Sawyer was so horrified she didn’t know what to say.

Caleb closed his eyes tight as if he could block out the images. He told Sawyer in heart stopping detail about the cause and violence of the car accident.  

“Stop!” Sawyer whispered. She didn’t want to hear anymore. Felicity’s pain had to be excruciating. What that poor girl went through.

Caleb felt the need to confess. He suddenly gripped Sawyer’s hand until her white knuckles ached. “With Fee’s phone, I called 911,” his chin wobbled. “I was about to call mom, then Rowan but Fee-” He shook his head. “She told me no, hide in the trees.”

Sawyer gripped his hand tight. Felicity Camden protected her brother from arrest that night. She also shielded him from potentially losing a relationship with his mother and his brother. Sawyer remembered how furious Rowan was after his sister’s accident.

Deena and Rowan would be hard pressed to forgive a mistake of this magnitude. “So I hid like the coward I am,” he said, “As the sirens drew near, I heard her crying for him.”

“Who?” Sawyer asked.

“Seth McClain.”

“Oh my God,” Sawyer whispered.

“I didn’t know they were…Sawyer, I took everything from her, don’t you understand?”

Yes, Sawyer understood the whole tragic mess he created. Felicity not only lied to protect her brother, she lied to protect the man she loved. Sure as the sky above, Seth would go nuclear on Caleb, roast him on a spit and bury him alive if he knew Caleb was the drunk driver in question.

“You want to tell Seth the truth.”

“Yeah.”

“He’d kill you.”

“I know but-”

Sawyer shook her head. “If Seth loved her half as much as I know she loves him, seriously, he’d kill you and make it hurt. He can’t ever know.”

“You sound like Fee.”

“She’s right.”

“I ruined her life,” he groaned, “She should be married to Seth with Navy Seal babies and running her marathons, I stole that from her. What does the Bible say? The enemy comes to seek and destroy? That’s what I did, like a thief in the night.”

“Oh Cal,” Sawyer held him as he wept. She tried to remember the healing words Rowan would say in difficult situations. “Listen to me, you are loved by God and your family, you’re mistakes are not who you are, your life has value.”

Caleb gently let go of her. “My life?” he shrugged as if nothing mattered. “You know, when Becky died, I mean, her young life just cut short like that, I thought to myself why her? Why not me?”

Sawyer bit down hard on her bottom lip.

“It should be me in that wheelchair,” he said savagely, “It should’ve been me.”

“It was an accident,” Sawyer said.

“I promised Fee, I’d never drink again. Five years of sobriety down the drain.” He swayed.

“Cal, you have to forgive yourself.”

He closed his eyes and moaned like a wounded animal. “Mom, Rowan, Xander, Felicity…” he blanched. “I’ve done the unforgivable.”

“You will go to rehab, get your shit together, tell your family the truth, you are braver than you think.”

Caleb winced. “I am?”

“You are. Now get your ass up, you have a tough road ahead but I know you can do this.”

Caleb looked at her in wonder. “My brother is a lucky bastard.”

“I know, right.”

He managed a fleeting smile. “I’m calling Xander,” she said firmly.

He exhaled, “Okay.”

Five minutes later, Xander came at a dead run. He inspected his partner with unnerving scrutiny.

“What happened?”

Caleb looked at Sawyer, terrified. She nodded.
You can do this
. Xander braced himself. “Did you cheat on me?”

“No.”

“You’ve been drinking?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Caleb shook uncontrollably. “Please, please don’t hate me.”

Xander’s fierce expression was enough to make Sawyer gulp.

“Tell me, Mi Amor.”

Caleb’s choked whisper repeated the fateful events of that awful night. Xander paled. He closed his eyes, struggled to breathe. He looked up to heaven when Caleb’s halting voice faded. The silence was deafening. Xander blinked several times. They met shortly after the accident five years before.

“You kept this from me, from Rowan and Mama Deena?” Xander’s voice lashed out.

Caleb and Sawyer flinched. “If you are half the man I think you are, you will make this right.”

Caleb mumbled apologies and begged for forgiveness. “I’m sorry doesn’t cut it,” Xander said, “If we have a future, you will go straight to rehab. If you ever touch a drop of alcohol again or use drugs – we’re done.”

Caleb nodded. “I’ll do anything.”

Xander swore under his breath. “Poor Fee. I wanna punch you in the face right now.” They were never violent in their relationship.

Caleb sighed, “I deserve it.”

“When you return from rehab we will face your family together. Right now, I can’t stand the sight of you. I’m going to pack.” Xander walked off, deeply troubled.

Caleb sighed heavily. He gave Sawyer a look of tearful despair. “What if I lose them all?”

“You might,” Sawyer acknowledged that awful possibility. “Fall on your knees and pray. Miracles happen.”

“Thanks sis.”

She hugged him tight. “Promise me you won’t hurt yourself.”

“I promise,” he said firmly.

She watched him follow Xander and disappear around the bend.

Chapter 14

Sawyer slumped against the bench. The astonishing confession still left her reeling. She didn’t know how Rowan would take it. He was fiercely protective of his sister. Pastor or not, he would pound Caleb into the ground. Sawyer didn’t know if she should tell Rowan to soften the blow or allow Caleb to plead forgiveness. Her thoughts were shattered by a movement near the trees.

Bob North strolled towards her. It took a second for Sawyer to recall the reporter from Vegas. Alarm bells went off. Her breath came hard and fast. He hummed a jaunty tune. His spiked hair, beady eyes and small lips made him look like a rabid porcupine.

“Helloooo Mrs. Pastor.”

Sawyer looked around. Xander and Caleb were long gone. She wasn’t afraid of a physical assault yet the threat in his casual demeanor left her frozen like hunted prey. He adjusted his bowtie. “Is this centered? I hate when it’s askew don’t you?”

“How can I help you, Mister North?” Sawyer surprised them both by the steel in her voice. “The conference is closed to the press.”

“Hmm, I wonder why?”

The influential blogger from
Celebrity Times
simpered. “Ya know, I bet being a priest has its perks, gotta be a hoot. All those secrets whispered in your ear.”

Sawyer’s heart pounded. What did he see and hear? The smug look on his face told her – everything. Her throat constricted. “If there’s any decency in you-”

“My mama didn’t raise no fool, I’m sitting on the scoop of the decade. It will rock the evangelical world, maybe even topple your hubby as America’s golden boy next door preacher, I can see the headlines, can’t you? Celebrity pastor’s gay brother nearly kills sister in drunken rampage, Ooo I have a better one – Thou shalt not kill – unless you’re the pastor’s brother.”

“You’re despicable.”

“So I’ve been told! Here’s what’s gonna happen cupcake, you will give me an exclusive interview, I want details no one else knows and pictures never published.”

“I have to speak to my husband first, he’s a very private man.”

Bob smirked. “Do I really have to spell it out for you? If you don’t cooperate I will leak the story about Caleb’s DUI and attempted manslaughter of his own sister. It will destroy the Camden hotel dynasty and shake the very foundation of your hubby’s evangelical empire.”

Sawyer got in his face. “If you hurt my family I will kick your ass.”

Bob chuckled. “Oh you’re a little spitfire. Bet you bring that passion to the bedroom. Do you and the good pastor get kinky? A lady in the street and a freak in the bed?”

Sawyer kicked him in the balls. Bob dropped to his knees. “Dang it,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Asshole,” Sawyer said.

The blogger shuddered as he stumbled to his feet. “You got a real potty mouth for a pastor’s wife.”

“Christian doesn’t mean wimp. If you screw with me and mine I’ll turn the other cheek after I knock you out.”

Bob reached in his pocket. He pressed rewind and play on his digital recorder.

“I slammed on the gas
, Caleb’s voice rasped,
I took the turn at ninety miles per hour.”

“I believe the statute of limitations is six years in the state of Texas, criminal charges can still be filed,” Bob said.

He hit play again to drive his point home. “
And Fee…screaming
.”

Sawyer’s stomach churned. “Please don’t do this.”

Bob got his strut back. “Give me an exclusive, I won’t report on Felicity Camden’s accident or Caleb’s role, you have my word, I always keep it.”

Bob North was the pit bull reporter every politician and celebrity feared. He was ruthless in his pursuit of the story. He got a famous athlete expelled from the NBA, forced several senators to resign and ruined the career of dozens of actors and musicians. He’d taken down pastors before but Rowan would be his most prominent yet. Bob had a powerful social media presence with millions of followers around the world. He wouldn’t hesitate to destroy her family.

“Why are you doing this?” she whispered.

“Don’t take it so personally. We both know I can take your husband out with this secret, let’s just say I’d like to knock him down a peg or two and this story will open up more doors for me - So for the record Mrs. Camden, how did you and Pastor Rowan meet?”

Sawyer told him whatever he wanted to know. She also sent him pictures from her phone. In less than two hours the article was written, posted online and went viral.

Rowan could feel the ripple in the air. Only a moment ago, his audience seemed riveted. Pastors from all over the country and even a few international candidates listened attentively. They took notes, nodded in agreement or laughed at something he said. Rowan continued to speak about church community outreach initiatives when a few men stirred in the back row. Several checked their phones in the meeting hall. Finally, brothers in the front row shifted uneasily, reading something on their I-pads. Maybe some catastrophic world event occurred. He gripped the podium and forged ahead. By the time he closed in prayer, the group of men erupted in talk and hearsay.

A colleague from a megachurch in New York, took him aside. The look of pinched sympathy on his face made Rowan stiffen. “What happened?”

His friend sighed. “There’s no easy way to say this.”

He showed Rowan the internet article. He read the bold headline uncomprehendingly.

How to Marry a Millionaire – Replacing Becky Camden – It was So Easy! Mega Church Pastor’s Wife Tells All

A smiling picture of Sawyer flashing her diamond engagement ring proceeded the article. The earth shifted beneath his feet. No, it can’t be. Rowan read the article once in disbelief. He read it again with narrowed eyes. By the third scan, a cold fury swept through him. His mind went blank with shock, flashed white hot, then blood red with rage. He walked out of the hall blindly, oblivious to the worried looks aimed his way. The words of the article flew through his brain like bullets to the skull.

Sawyer walked aimlessly through the hotel gardens with a mounting sense of dread. By protecting Rowan’s family she may have destroyed her own marriage. The thought of losing him made her feel physically sick. She longed for her dad’s warm arms around her, he would know what to do. Booker Landon still recovered from his cancer treatments. She couldn’t burden him with her problems. Sawyer wandered the gardens for hours. The reporter was at least true to his word. He erased the recordings in exchange for question after question about everything from her marriage to her political views. Sawyer chose her words carefully, so afraid he would twist something she said out of context. She knew Rowan would be upset that she did the interview without consulting him or being prepped by the church public relations team.

In all the years of friendship and months of marriage – she never lied to him. Sawyer didn’t intend to start now. How she could possibly explain this interview was beyond her. If she told Rowan the truth, poor Felicity and Caleb would suffer for it. Besides, it wasn’t her confession to tell. She promised Caleb that she would keep his confidence until he left rehab and he could tell his brother and mother with Xander by his side. Sawyer knew that she did the right thing and yet – something felt off about the entire interview. Bob’s ruthless ambition and glee made her feel uneasy, as if she’d made a deal with the devil.

Surely Rowan would understand? Then why was she stalling? Sawyer had that queasy feeling from childhood, the one she had when she was in big trouble right before she got an ass whipping from dad. Her mom fought cancer and lost but she fought that son of a bitch disease to the bitter end. Her dad fought cancer and won. Sawyer knew the strength in her blood. She was no coward.

Sawyer walked into the hotel lobby with firm resolve. Her bravado faltered when she was on the receiving end of cold looks from the hotel staff and guests. A pastor’s wife, who was so friendly only hours before, shunned her completely. Surely the article couldn’t be posted already? Even so, why were people looking at her with condemnation? Fear twisted her gut to knots. She had to get to Rowan. Sawyer rushed into the elevator. Sister Cornelia snapped her mouth open and shut. “Hi, Sister C,” Sawyer said, “What floor?”

“I’d rather take the stairs, thank you very much.” The older woman shoved past her. No, oh no! The article was out. Sawyer pushed the third floor button. Stay calm, she told herself. When the doors slid open she dashed to their suite. Sawyer fumbled for her room card key. It didn’t work. Her hands trembled. She tried again. The door clicked open.