My face fell as flat as my hope. “I’m fucking dreaming.”
This was the moment when my eyes flew open, and I gasped as I woke unwillingly.
Patrick was gone, and so were the cats. My clothes were sadly in place, the room chilly and dark, and my phone alarm meowed at me from my nightstand.
“Son of a bitch,” I huffed, heart still chugging as I rolled over to swipe blindly at the screen to stop the noise.
The phone was still in my hand as I flopped back in bed, reminding myself again to change the ringer when I could open my eyes. My roommate, Lily, had set it as a joke weeks ago, and I could never remember to change it back. Instead, I considered options for a payback ringer, top of the list being broken glass, crying baby, and angry hen.
I cracked one eye to glance at my screen. It was eight in the morning, an hour that normally didn’t exist in my universe. I’d never been a morning person, which was part of the draw in bartending. Of course, it made adulting kind of hard when you didn’t get up until two, but luckily, I didn’t have to adult very often. Jury duty being an unavoidable, annoying, and despicable exception.
I thought real hard about the two-hundred-fifty dollar fine I’d get nailed with if I didn’t show up.
Real hard.
But it wasn’t worth it. I’d get out of bed for two-hundred-fifty bones. Hell, if you fed me enough tequila and I had on a pretty bra, I’d probably take my shirt off for that kind of money.
I sighed and flipped off my comforter before reaching over to turn on my lamp. My room was always dark thanks to blackout curtains that aided and abetted my reverse sleep habits. The only time they were opened was when Lily wanted to torture me out of bed before lunch.
She was spared a sudden, gruesome death only because she’s my best friend.
I peeled myself out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom in nothing but a Cub Scout T-shirt and panties, rubbing my face as I yawned, trying not to think about how warm my bed had been. Definitely trying not to think about Patrick’s lips—or his hands, or jaw, or tattoos or his—
He dumped you more than seven months ago, Rose. Get over it.
Stupid asshole dreams.
Let me give you some relationship advice. Don’t date the guy down the hall, because when he dumps you, you can’t get away. Definitely don’t date a guy in your group of super tight-knit friends, because then you
really
fuck yourself. Especially if he was your best friend, and
especially
if he never stopped looking at you like he’d devour you if you’d say the word, even months after he dropped you like a bad habit. Really makes it hard to stick to your guns.
But stick to my guns I did. Patrick and I were an unwieldy, knotted up mess, so when it ended for good, that was it. I didn’t even know how to approach fixing it because it was fucked up beyond all repair, so I threw up the wall. And once the wall is up, there’s no scaling it. It’s like nuclear lockdown—gates don’t open for two-hundred years, so go get yourself a Snickers and pull up a chair because we’re going to be here for a while.
I glanced in the mirror and yawned again, hazel eyes watering as I twisted my long, shaggy black hair into a rope and tossed it over my shoulder, feeling grumbly as I washed my face and hands. I needed to at least look presentable, wear something professional-ish, which was a problem since ripped up jeans and combat boots made up a large sum of my wardrobe. So I sighed heavily and made my way into Lily’s room to find something ‘normal’ to wear. She was the light to my dark, the optimist to my cynic. The ‘normal’ to my ‘not.’
I stopped dead when I stepped into her room.
A body shaped lump was stretched out in Lily’s bed under her covers.
The problem: Lily hadn’t slept at home in months.
My pulse exploded in a burst as I tried to figure out who it was because that lump was too big to be Lily. Obviously the logical leap was that a homeless guy wandered in and crashed in her bed. Or maybe it was a tired burglar. A lost little old man? Maybe the nursing home was looking for him. Or the police. Or his kids, looking for their inheritance.
I stood frozen next to the bed with my brain tripping over what to do. Call the cops. Scream. Run. Fight. I blinked and looked around for a weapon, eyes lighting when I landed on Lily’s nightstand.
My lips pursed, eyes on the lump as I opened the drawer silently and grabbed Philmore Dix.
I stepped closer to the pile of bedding, breath frozen in my lungs as I extended it slowly to poke the lump in what I thought might be its shoulder.
The covers flew up with a yelp of the man underneath, and I screamed as the lump rolled off the bed and hit the floor.
Patrick was wild-eyed, black hair a mess, tattooed chest heaving as he blinked up at me. My heart kickstarted with a thud, and all the blood rushed to my cheeks and ears.
“Tricky! What the fuck?” I yelled as I threw the hot pink vibrator at him.
He put up his hand to stop Phil from hitting him in the chest. “Fuck, Rose. You scared the shit out of me.”
I gaped. “
I
scared
you
? What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Sleeping.”
“Obviously,” I shot as I hung a hand on my hip, trying to keep my eyes on his instead of his body. I wondered briefly if he was naked. My heartbeat ticked up a notch. “Why are you sleeping
here
?”
He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair, putting it in place elegantly. “Ever since Lily started sleeping over, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep. Three in the morning, every morning, like clockwork. First the moaning. Then the headboard banging. I’ve tried everything, Rose. You’ve gotta know this was the last resort. I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t desperate for sleep.”
I regretted the fact that he had a key to our place, along with regretting a hundred other things as I glared at that beautiful asshole, sitting on the floor of Lily’s room, wrapped in pretty, frilly bedding as he stared up at me with sad, intense eyes, eyes that begged me to understand. The pissed me off the most was that I
did
understand.
I felt that pull to him, in the moment. His eyes always did that to me—I swear if he looked hard enough, he could see straight through me.
I shoved my feelings on the matter back down into that dark corner of my heart and kicked its door closed.
My eyes narrowed, teeth clenching once. “How long have you been sleeping here?”
His face tightened in the smallest increment, but I saw it just the same. “Over a month.”
I ran a hand through my hair, not even sure what to say. “Jesus Christ, Tricky. You should have asked me.”
“Lily suggested it. I told her we should ask you, but she said you’d flip out.” He smirked a little, since she was right and all.
“That bitch,” I breathed, only like forty-two percent serious, but that forty-two percent was
really
serious.
He was still smirking just a little, that dick, even though he had those eyes of his on me like sexy lasers. “Come on, Rose. I mean, I’ve been here for a month and you didn’t even know. I’ll stay out of your way, I swear.”
My jaw was set, but I was torn. Everything pointed to picking him up my his scruff—naked or not—and tossing him out. I just wasn’t sure how much of that was irrational. So I put on my hardass, scowling a little for effect. “It’s way too early to have this discussion. I need coffee, or whiskey. Or both. You work today?”
“Yeah, until six.”
“I have jury duty, but meet me here after and give me the day to think about it.”
“Fair enough.” The shadow smirk bloomed into a full blown crooked smile. He picked up Philmore, turning it over to inspect it as his brow climbed. “You were going to assault me with a pink vibe?”
I shrugged. “It was the closest blunt object.”
He snuck a glance down at my legs. I’d forgotten I was nearly naked, and another little burst of adrenaline shot through me as I watched him look me over.
I was all of a sudden very glad I’d done laundry a couple of days ago and had my top-shelf undies on instead of the days of the week panties I reserved for periods and trips to the laundromat.
I turned for Lily’s dresser to rummage through her clothes with clumsy hands, hiding behind my dark hair to cover the flush in my cheeks. When I turned around, business casual in hand, he was still staring at my body. I ignored the shot of heat that ran through me and made a face somewhere between a scowl and a glare.
He looked up at me without the least bit of remorse.
The light streamed in through a crack between the curtains, a slice of sunshine across his angular face and curves of his shoulders, illuminating his blue eyes as tiny specks of dust danced in and out of the beam.
I realized I wasn’t breathing and clutched the clothes in my hands with sweaty palms, needing to get out of that room before I suffocated. “All right . . . well, I’ll see you tonight, Tricky.”
“Sure.” His voice was tight, the smile somehow gone from his face without me realizing when it had left.
I wondered if he was as affected by me as I was by him, just before walked away from him with only one other thought.
This cannot be good.