While Angels Slept (42 page)

“She will be
more hurt or disappointed if you do not permit her to meet her mother. Be
present during the meeting if you must, but let your daughter come to terms
with the woman who gave birth to her. This is a moment she never thought she
would face and it is her right.”

Tevin thought on
that a moment before reluctantly agreeing. “As you say,” he muttered. “But I
will speak with the woman first, alone, before I allow Arabel near her.”

Cantia could see
the protective father, the humiliated husband, in his expression.  She put a
soft hand against his cheek.

“I spoke with
her at some length,” she said softly.

His brow
furrowed. “How long were you with her?”

“Long enough,”
she said, eyeing him. “Tevin, I must speak with you before you go and see her.
I must tell you what she told me.”

He scratched at
his head, intrigued, but unsure if he really wanted to hear all of it. After a
moment, he simply shook his head.

 “It was all so
long ago,” he said. “It does not matter any longer, whatever she has to say.  I
do not want to hear her excuses or explanations. My only communication with her
will be where it pertains to my daughter.”

My daughter
.
Cantia was feeling some apprehension for his reaction as she opened the door to
their chamber and pulled him inside.  When she quietly shut the door, she faced
him.

“This
is
about your daughter,” she said softly. “Sit down. I must tell you what she told
me. It would not be fair to you if I did not.”

He looked at her
curiously but took the chair by the hearth and sat. Cantia went to him,
standing before him, smiling faintly when he put his hands on her belly purely
out of habit.

“How is Talus
today?” he asked.

She chuckled at
the use of the baby’s name, long before he was even born. They had spent a good
deal of time haggling over names and Tevin was very decisive in his wants. The
child would be a boy, no matter what Cantia said, and his name would be Talus
because Tevin had heard the name in a story his father had once told him. Talus
had been a very strong man, immortal, and Tevin liked the name very much. It
meant something to him.

“Your son is
irritable and hungry,” she teased, then sobered. “Tevin, we must speak of
Louisa. I went to see her today because I wanted to know why she had abandoned
you. I cannot imagine any woman being so cruel or callous towards her husband
and child, and I feel so protective over you and Arabel that I simply needed to
know. I did not go to see the woman purely to spite you. I did it because I
love you.”

He took his
hands from her belly, gazing up into her lovely features. “Very well,” he said
steadily. “I am listening, then.”

“You must
promise to stay calm. Please, Tevin; I cannot take another rage.”

“I will do my
best, I swear.”

Cantia sighed,
turning her back on him as she paced a few feet away, gathering her thoughts.
Then, she turned to him.

“When you were
told she had run away with a knight from her home land, that was only a very
small portion of the truth,” she said. “According to Louisa, she was very young
when she married you and she had been in love with this knight for quite some
time. I believe I know what it is like to be deeply in love. I believe you do,
too.”

He sighed
faintly. “Of course I do.”

“If I was to
marry another man, how would you feel?”

Tevin shrugged,
averting his gaze. “I would kill him. I would not let that happen. I believe I
have adequately demonstrated my devotion to you.”

She nodded. “You
have,” she murmured. “So you can imagine what this young woman felt, being
forced to marry a man she did not know and did not love.”

“I can imagine.”

Cantia sighed
faintly. “Unfortunately, being so young, her judgment was also immature. After
she married you, she and this knight continued to be lovers.”

He looked at
her. “Is that what she told you?”

“She told me
that you would share her bed at night and he would fill it during the day.”

“
After
we
were married?”

Cantia nodded,
seeing the hint of outrage on his face.  She went to him, taking one of her big
hands in hers and squeezing it tightly.

“She was young
and foolish,” she said softly. “She knows her behavior was terrible, but women
in love do strange things.”

“Do you make
excuses for her, then?”

“Of course not. But
bad behavior often has consequences.”

“What
consequences?”

Cantia knelt in
front of him and he instinctively reached down to pick her up so she would not
be close to the cold ground, but she resisted him. She held on to his hand
tightly.

“Tevin, for
Arabel’s sake, I must tell you this before she speaks with her mother,” she
said softly. “I do not want to chance that you are caught off guard by anything
the woman says. She is on her deathbed and has nothing to lose. She may say
many things and… I do not want you to be caught unaware.”

Tevin’s dark
eyes flickered ominously. “Caught unaware by what?”

Cantia squeezed
his hand sympathetically. “Louisa told me that you were away when she became
pregnant with Arabel,” she murmured carefully. “She said that the pregnancy was
early enough that when you returned, you performed as a husband should and she
was able to convince you that you were the father. But she is certain that you
are not Arabel’s father.”

Tevin stared at
her, the color draining from his face. “She
told
you this madness?” he
was both incredulous and outraged. “How is that…?

Cantia continued
quickly, cutting him off. “The knight she was in love with knew he was the
father,” she said. “He told Louisa that you would kill her if you discovered
the truth and convinced her to flee with him.  Being young, she didn’t know
what else to do, so she went. It was a horrible decision that cost her.”

“It is not
true!”

“It is,
sweetheart. I swear this is what she told me.”

Tevin was
looking at her with an expression she had never seen before, something between
utter astonishment and utter agony. Then, he leaned forward, collapsing, until
he was resting he knees on his elbows, his gaze on the floor. He still held
Cantia’s hands tightly as if afraid to let her go. As Cantia gripped him, she
could feel him tremble.

“Arabel…,” he
whispered. “Dear God… it cannot be true.”

“I am so sorry,
my dearest love,” Cantia was close to tears on his behalf. “If I could have
spared you the truth, I would have. But Louisa has no reason to lie about this.
I did not sense that she was being deceitful in any way.”

He sighed
heavily, as if all of his strength had just left him. He struggled with his
emotions, struggled to make sense out of it all.  His mind, hurt yet analytical
in searching for the truth, began to sort through the mess.

“I remember a
man,” he murmured after several long moments. “This knight was with her often, a
man with blond hair and brown eyes. I remember this because his hair was very
blond and… dear God, Arabel’s hair is blond.”

Cantia squeezed
his hands, kissing his head to comfort him. She didn’t know what else to do.
She was afraid to say anything more as his mind struggled to come to terms with
what she had told him. She could only imagine his pain, his shock.

“He was always
with her,” he repeated as if dredging up old memories, recalling snippits of
the past. “Louisa’s brother was always with her as well, and the two of them
shadowed her nearly everywhere.  She told me it was because she felt afraid in
a strange land and she felt comforted by their presence and, wanting her to be
comfortable, I allowed it.  Now… it is starting to make sense. I never knew
which knight she was in love with because when she fled, they all went with
her, but now it is starting to make some sense. It must have been the blond
knight who was always with her.”

“Tevin,” Cantia
kissed his hands. “I would never presume to tell you what to think or how to
deal with this matter, but I will say this – what happened occurred a long time
ago. You said it yourself.  In truth, it does not matter. I thought not to tell
you what Louisa said about Arabel but I knew that I could not withhold such
information from you. It is your right to know. But whatever the truth is,
Arabel is innocent in all of this and she is very much your daughter.  I would
hope… hope that your love for her never changes, no matter what.”

He looked at
her, then. There was such sorrow in his eyes. “She
is
my daughter,” he
whispered, his eyes misting over. Then he sniffled loudly and wiped at his nose
with the back of his hand. “Nothing will ever change that. But I… I am not
sure….”

“Sure of what?”

“Sure if I
should tell Arabel. Am I selfish not to want to tell her?”

Cantia kissed
his hands again, his forehead. “If it was me, I would not tell her. Why should
you? You are her father and she loves you. That is all she needs to know.”

“That is all she
will ever know, God willing,” he said, regaining some of his composure. “All of
this madness… we will forget about it.  It will be our secret, you and me. I do
not even want to tell Val.”

“It will be our
secret alone, I swear it.” Cantia stroked his cheek. “You will go and speak
with Louisa before Arabel does and tell her not to mention it. Tell her it does
not matter, than none of it matters.  I do not want Louisa to use Arabel like a
confessional. The young girl need not hear all of her mother’s sins because the
woman is dying and feels the need to clear her conscience.”

Tevin nodded in
agreement before Cantia was even finished speaking. He whole-heartedly agreed.
Kissing her hands reverently, and then her lips, he stood up and carefully
pulled her up with him.

“I will see her
now,” he said, wiping his nose one last time as if to wipe away any emotion
that was lingering.  But he paused a moment, looking at Cantia with warmth in
his eyes. “Thank you for being disobedient, sweetheart. I know your intentions
were good. I… I think hearing this information from you was much better than if
I heard it from Louisa. I am not entirely sure how well I would have received
it. But coming from you… you gave me strength. I am grateful.”

She smiled
sweetly at him, accepting his tender kiss before he quit the room and shut the
door softly behind him.  Cantia’s smile faded as she listened to his boot falls
fade down the stairs, thinking of the moment that lay ahead for him as he
confronted the woman who humiliated and betrayed him, more than he could have
ever imagined.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

Tevin stared
hard at the woman, trying to see the young girl he had known so long ago. With
the terrible aging and the progression of her disease, she looked like an old
woman and she was only a little over thirty years of age. Life had been
difficult for her, indeed.

Louisa regarded
her husband, a very big man who had only grown more handsome over the years.
She was quite astonished, actually. She had expected him to show up at some
point, given her conversation with Lady Cantia, and she was prepared for his
hatred and rage. Or, so she thought.

But Tevin did
nothing more than stare at her for several moments, wondering how to start the
conversation, when he finally gave up and simply shook his head.

“Long ago, I had
imagined this moment and what I would say to you when the time came,” he said.
“Now that the moment is upon me, I do not know where to start. I suppose I
could say that the only reason you are here is because I love another woman.
You are here because of her and her alone.”

Louisa had a
difficult time understanding him, for she’d not spoken Middle English for quite
some time. It was a confusing language.

“Me pardonner
que mon anglais n'est pas très bon,” she said softly.

Forgive that
my English is not very good
.  Tevin took the hint, as he was fluent in three
different languages. In this time of travel and trade, it was necessary.
Additionally, if one had borrowed troops, it was necessary to be able to
command them in a language they could understand.  He shifted to French.

“You are here
because of Lady Cantia,” he said. “Do you comprehend?”

“Aye.”

“I understand
you had a conversation with her earlier.”

“I did.”

“She told me
what you said about everything, including Arabel,” he moved closer to the bed,
his dark eyes intense. “Is this true?”

Louisa gazed up
at the enormous knight, a man who was showing great restraint with his
emotions. She could tell that he was struggling simply by his expression.
Because she was so ill, she had no fear of the man. Death was coming for her,
anyway. Tevin du Reims could not do anything more to her in that regard.

“I wish it was
not,” she said softly. “You were kind to me, my lord, but I was too young and
foolish to realize it. All I knew was that I loved a man not my husband, and I
wanted to be with him. I was, and I became pregnant. If your lady told you
everything, then you also know that I fled because I was afraid you would
discover the child was not yours and you would kill me for it. Perhaps you
intend to now. But I go to God with a clear conscience.”

Tevin listened
to her quiet explanation, digesting it, before sighing heavily. Then, he
shrugged.

“I cannot ask
why you did it, because I know,” he said. “I cannot pretend that I am hurt by
your betrayal, because I am not. I was humiliated, that is true, but only as a
man whose wife leaves him for another man.  There was no personal emotion
involved.  You left Arabel with me and that was all I cared about. Even as I
look at you now, the only emotions I feel are those pertaining to Arabel.”