Whisper (New Adult Romance) (6 page)

Jenna was the best part of coming here and playing happy family, and thanks to Mom, I didn’t even have that to look forward to anymore.

When Jenna got up to check her reflection for the millionth time, I followed her. I stayed back a few feet, expecting her to turn to the guest bathroom, but she soundlessly moved up the stairs. Maybe my sister was still in there somewhere after all. She wanted to escape, too.

The festivities downstairs muted my steps, and I decided to turn around and give her peace. She didn’t have a trailer she could hide out in – but then she ducked into the upstairs bathroom. I frowned, and when I heard a familiar retching sound, my heart stopped.

She was purging.

I forced open the door. The little sister I thought I’d lost looked up at me, tips of her bone straight hair dripping wet, clutching a toothbrush. Her eyes shined up at me, big and desperate.

“Don’t tell Mom.”

*

T
he doctor had a sense of humor.

“We’ve gotta stop meeting this way, Miss Kent!” He winked at me, his teeth too white and perfect. Everything about this room was perfect, from the designer linens on the bed and mini fridge stocked with organic food and drinks to the flat screen TV on the warm colored wall. If it wasn’t for the hospital gown and beeping machinery, I might’ve forgotten I was in a hospital altogether. But here I was, being inspected by a comedian with Chiclets for teeth and ice-cold fingers, with Leila a few feet away, chewing her nails to stubs.

“Good news is, your tox screen has come back fairly normal with some exceptions. Tell me what you can remember.” His chilly fingers gripped my bicep as he prepared to check my blood pressure.

I winced as the arm cuff tightened. “I don’t really–” The squeeze approached unbearable and a memory flitted through my head. “Liam left and I remember gripping the counter. I didn’t want to go after him. I couldn’t.”

“Who’s Liam?” Leila and the doctor asked in near unison.

“Just a guy.” I lied. Maybe he was a guy when we met at Sol’s office, when I thought about how badly I wanted to fuck him. But when he busted into Sol’s office with murder in his eyes, ready to save me, combined with how right it felt to be kissed by him...I wasn’t ready to admit the truth. “He’s just a friend.” I cleared my throat, trying to cover my tracks. “I gripped the counter, and a wave of all the crap I had been dealing with hit me like a Mack truck.” My mind was coloring in the picture and I didn’t like what I saw. I hung my head, not finishing.

The doctor gave my hand an awkward pat. “Would you like me to ask your friend to wait outside?”

I lifted my gaze, a scowl on my lips. Since I pretty much grew up on screen in
Carolina, California
, people generally belonged to one of two camps. They were either a gushing fan or violently opposed to me – or they wanted to play parent or therapist. The doctor’s fatherly tone was rubbing me the wrong way.

“Actually, I’d really appreciate it if you gave us a minute.”

The doctor’s sharp features intensified as he narrowed his eyes and whittled his lips into a thin line. “I’ll be right outside.”

Leila barely waited for him to leave, rushing to my bedside. “Is this about your sister? Your mom?”

Maybe she didn’t care if the good doctor had given us privacy, but the things I had to say were for her ears alone. I kicked my legs off the edge of the bed, holding my gown closed as I made sure the door was securely closed. Once I was satisfied, I turned back to her.

I inhaled, but the exhale didn’t come. It was bottled up inside me like everything else.

“My mom set up a meeting with Sol Cole.”

“She WHAT?” Leila gasped, big Bambi eyes twice their normal size. “I’m hoping there’s someone else and you’re not talking about Solomon Cole, the notorious walking sexual harassment lawsuit?”

As soon as she said the word ‘sex’ I winced, shrinking back to the bed. I pulled the covers over my body, like Sol was hiding behind the potted plant, waiting for his moment to pounce. “That’s the one.” I shivered, dread creeping up and down my spine. “I knew it was a bad idea, but my mom...my mom...” How could I say that even as an adult, she had an unbreakable hold on me? That she knew just what to say to bend me to her will, even when I knew it was wrong?

I exhaled, willing myself to go on. Not talking about this shit was why I turned to Scott, who was out of town but hooked me up with the sketchy guy with the tattoos and piercing eyes. I had to get the ugliness out of me before it swallowed me whole.

“I walked into Sol’s office and I got a sick feeling before we even shook hands. The way he looked at me, Leila. Even when I’ve done shoots in underwear and bathing suits and the camera exposed everything...it didn’t compare to how I felt when Sol Cole looked at me. I wasn’t a person, with thoughts and beliefs and ideas and worth.” My voice cracked. “I was just sex. Whether I wanted it or not.”

She sat on the bed beside me, moving to embrace me, to comfort me, but I pulled back.

“If I let you do that, if I let you comfort me, I’ll never get it out.”

She gave me a small nod that she understood, then I began again.

“I wanted to leave, but my mother wanted the deal so badly. She left me alone with him.”

Leila’s eyes were going to pop out of her head. “She didn’t...how...
why
...”

“Because she’s just like him,” I said simply, tears blurring my vision. “I’m not a person. I’m a tool to make her money. Sol attacked me, just like I knew he would, and my mother didn’t try and save me. She didn’t even stick around.” I spat, swatting my tears angrily.

Leila was ready to explode, angrily pacing up and down the length of the room. “That woman – she’s not a mother. She has no right to call herself one. A mother protects her kids. A mother would rather sacrifice herself than allow her kids to feel an iota of pain.” She flexed her fists. “She’s a heartless monster, Mia. And I...” She froze, her face softening as she met my gaze. “And I’m not helping, am I?”

I chewed on my bottom lip, willing the tears to stop. “It’s nice to hear someone say the things I can’t say. Can’t admit. That kind of mother, a good mother – that’s all I ever wanted for me and Jenna.” I sniffed. “Life had other plans.”

Leila looked like she had a few more choice words to share, but she just smoothed her fly away curls and collected herself. “So that’s when you called up Scott?”

“No, Liam...” I held on to his name, a bright slice of happy cutting through the anger.

“Liam? Is he a dealer or–”

“No!” I said too loudly, nearly leaping to my feet to defend his honor. I clutched my blanket, my heart settling back where it belonged. “Liam works –
worked
for Sol.”

Leila scrunched up her face, like she was sucking on a lemon. “Oh?”

“But he isn’t like that.” I explained quickly. “He was the one that stopped Solomon before...” I didn’t need to finish. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

“I like this Liam guy already.” Leila tried on a smile, but it didn’t last. “So you were with him last night?”

I shook my head. “He stopped by my place.” A chuckle slipped past my defenses. “He brought me flowers.”

Leila was quiet, clearly waiting for the missing piece to help make sense of it all. The assault brought on by my mother could have led to me passing out in a crack house, but my savior bringing me flowers? There was a slight disconnect. To be honest, it didn’t make a lot of sense to me either.

I scooted back onto my bed. “Everything was better when he was there. We talked, laughed, kissed.” I chewed on my nail, trying to stem the tide as heat consumed me. That kiss held more passion than every other sexual interaction I’d experienced combined. “But he wanted something I can’t give.”

“Sex,” Leila said with a knowing nod.

“Actually,
I
wanted sex,” I smirked. “He wanted more.”

“Ah,” Leila’s cheeks darkened as she sank into the armchair near the bed. A few moments passed before she addressed the elephant in the room. “Why don’t you want more? And how did that lead to you waking up in the Heights with a chunk of your night missing?”

I picked at a thread on my sheet. “Why don’t I want more? Because I’m focused on my career right now. I don’t have time for a relationship.”

“You’ve been linked with your co-stars since you were 15. Relationships are your thing, aren’t they?”

“Those were strategic,” I explained. There was Joshua Mercer, who played my love interest on the show. After a year or two, we called it quits and I moved onto Darren Lowe, the bad boy with a heart of gold that had a secret crush on my character. “Sure, we dated, and we did things that people who date do, but it wasn’t serious.” I admitted something a few blogs had hinted at. There was a reason our chemistry sizzled on screen and off screen it was just...meh. “It wasn’t real.”

“And this thing with Liam – it’s real?”

I fidgeted, dodging the question. “It could be. Maybe.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

I sighed with relief as someone knocked on the door behind her. I guess the doctor was tired of twiddling his thumbs. “Come on in!”

But the doctor didn’t peek his head in. It was one of the nurses, smiling warmly at me, then Leila, before she stepped inside the room. “How’re you feeling, honey?”

“Much better,” I said, forcing a smile. It wasn’t a complete lie, even though Leila’s accusatory glare said otherwise.

“Feeling up for a visitor?” The nurse shared a conspiratorial wink with Leila. Leila just gaped at her then barreled to the door.

“I swear to God, if that’s Charlotte Kent–”

Liam stepped in the doorway, holding a bouquet of daisies and a nervous smile. Nervousness looked good on a guy that was that hot and confident. It made him human.

It made me fall a little harder.

L
eila stepped into the hall, corralling the impatient doctor. The nurse lingered, snacking on invisible popcorn like she was watching some sweeping romance unfold before her eyes.

Liam pointedly cleared his throat, flashing her a tight smile. She went bug-eyed and blushed crimson. She played it off by asking me some questions about my vitals before she squeaked out of the room, leaving us alone.

Even though my backside was covered, I pulled my covers tighter around me. Liam acted like he didn’t notice, but the faint curl upward of his lips betrayed him.

I decided to give him a hard time. “There’s nothing funny about hospitals, you know.”

His green eyes rounded, then faded as he winced. “I know. I mean, I wasn’t...” When he cautioned a look in my direction, he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

My eyelashes fluttered in a way that denied innocence. “Me? Never.”

“Keep it up,” he warned ominously, holding the bouquet just out of my reach. “According to my Google Fu, Gerbera daisies are your favorite.”

I stuck out my tongue. “You can keep ‘em.” When he turned to the waste basket, I relented. “Don’t!”

He pivoted back to me, a full-on smile brightening his face. He presented them with a flourish. “M’lady.”

I accepted them graciously, bringing the rainbow colored flowers to my nose and inhaling deep. I gently grazed a fragile petal. “I’m pretty sure they’re the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

“I think I know someone that’s got ‘em beat.”

I knew he was talking about me, and it wasn’t some misplaced vanity. I felt his gaze, hot and electric. It stroked me like I stroked the flowers, like I was something to be treasured. That fuzzy warmth in my stomach wasn’t hunger, or at least, it wasn’t hunger for food. I hungered for love. To have something real.  It was so overwhelming, so pathetic, that I cordoned off my heart. Turned the ice on full blast. It was easy because I wasn’t looking him in the eye.

“Stop looking at me like that,” I snapped.

“Like what?” he teased.

“Like you like me,” I said tersely. The moment I locked my eyes on him, my defenses melted like an ice cream cone in July. Sweet. Sticky. Messy. I scrambled to hide just how happy I was to see him. “What are you doing here anyway? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were stalking me. Again.”

His smile twitched, and I almost said ‘eff it and had the appropriate reaction to someone visiting you in the hospital...gratitude.

“Why won’t you let me be nice to you?” he said softly.

I put aside the flowers, tilting my nose in the air. “Because people aren’t nice to me unless they want something.” Well, except Leila. I knew she cared because any other publicist would have cut ties with a runaway train before they were smashed like a pancake. But any weakness in my logic would give him an in. “So, what do you want, Liam?”

“I want to hear you say you’re not okay.”

Confusion and surprise raced over me as I stared at him. “What?”

“Well, most people would awkwardly say they came here to see if you were okay.” He scratched the stubble on his chin. I generally liked my guys clean shaven, but there was something sexy about the shadow. It was comfortable and easy, like pulling on my fleece leggings in the winter. Or curling up with my Kindle and a cup of hot tea. Being around him felt real. No pretenses, no ulterior motives. It felt effortless.

“This is the second time in two months that you’ve been rushed to the ER,” he continued. “You look like you’re coming down from one hell of a bender. You’re not okay...and the first step to being okay is admitting that.”

“What do you know about it?” I said brusquely.

“My best friend overdosed to the point that there was nothing left to save.” Liam raked his hand through his dark hair, pain creasing the lines around his eyes. “He’s still breathing, but he died a long time ago. I don’t want that to happen to you.”

I tugged at my stringy brown hair, not sure what to say. Guilt simmered in my chest. I doubted my mother cared other than what its impact on my career would be, but there was Dad and Jenna. Leila. My fans. Every time I took a handful of pills, dying for an escape, they were the ones that had to pick up the pieces. I stopped avoiding his gaze. “I’m sorry about your friend.”