“I was so scared to tell you.”
“I know, Bren. It’s okay now. I don’t want you to ever worry about that again. Okay?”
An hour later, lying on the fresh hay in the stall, Tommy held his girl, kissed her, touched her gently in the places she’d begun to allow and told her how much he cared about her. He was careful not to try anything more or do anything less, and after a while she curved against him in their familiar way, trusting him. In case she wondered if she still turned him on, it took absolutely no effort on his part to demonstrate that he was just as easily aroused by her as ever before. Then when
he took her home, he kissed her on the front porch and told her as far as he was concerned, she was perfect. Pure and perfect.
He might’ve been a little quiet at dinner, but around his house the past couple of months, that went completely unnoticed. A little later he told his dad he was going to run into town and would be back in an hour or so. Walt probably assumed he was going to see Brenda.
He parked his truck around behind the bar, just in case the Carpenters happened to be having an evening drink, something they did with their friends the Bristols from time to time. He walked back to Mike’s RV and knocked on the door. Mike opened it. “Can I talk to you a minute?”
“Sure. Wanna come inside?”
“How about out here?” Tom said.
Mike grabbed his coat and stepped outside.
“Remember those parties you were asking about?” Tom asked, standing beside Mike but looking straight ahead.
“Yeah,” Mike said.
“You think there might’ve been a drug that made people pass out?”
“Very possible,” Mike said.
“Maybe things happened to people while they were passed out? Against their will?” he asked, still looking straight ahead.
“Could be.”
Tom turned to look at Mike. “I bet I know who has some. I bet I can get him to sell me some.”
“And how would you know this?” Mike asked.
Tom shrugged. “I’m just an investigative genius.”
“You’d do this? A buy? There’d have to be police, you know.”
“I know,” Tom said. “In fact, I’ll check and see if I can get some other stuff. If I’m going to do this, might as well get it
done right. Might be meth or ecstasy or something. That interest you at all?” Tom asked.
“Pal, what interests me is getting anything that could hurt people off the street. If you think you can help me do that, I’d sure appreciate it.”
“This what you’ve been looking for, asking all your questions?”
“Yup.”
“Then let’s do it,” Tom said.
V
anessa had asked Paul if he could stay until the baby came and he said he could if she wanted him to. By his calculations, the house would be finished at about the same time Vanni gave birth. Jack and Mel would still have one or two things to do—carpet, appliances, paint—but the general contractor wouldn’t be needed for that. And the house was shaping up very well—the hardwood floors sanded and varnished, master bath complete, plumbing and light fixtures in, walls textured for painting, porch painted and sealed. Furniture deliveries were scheduled. Mel was spending evenings packing dishes and things at the cabin.
And Vanni was getting huge.
She wasn’t crying so much these days. It seemed as though a lot of her attention was focused on preparing to go into labor. Oh, there were times she’d get a little weepy, which was certainly to be expected. But she was so strong—Paul just admired the hell out of her.
When he came home from the job site one day, she met
him in the foyer. “Come with me,” she said. “I have to talk to you about something.”
“I should wash up first.”
“No, just come.” She took his hand and led him into the great room. She sat in one of the overstuffed leather chairs and directed Paul to another. This was the most animated Paul had seen her in a long time. Her cheeks were bright; her eyes sparkled. “Paul, the baby is coming very soon.”
He smiled. “That’s getting real obvious.”
“You’re my very best friend, Paul.”
“Thanks, Vanni,” he said, but he furrowed his eyebrows. Suspicious.
“I want you to be with me during the delivery.”
“With you how?” he asked.
“I want you to be the one to encourage me, coach me, coax me. Hold my hand. Support me.”
“Um… Isn’t that Mel’s job?”
“Mel is going to be very much a coach, but she’s also going to be the midwife and she’ll be busy with other things. Especially when the baby is coming out. I need you to do this.”
“Vanni,” he said, scooting forward on his chair, “I’m a
guy.
”
“I know. Guys do this.”
“I can’t…Vanni, I shouldn’t…. Vanessa, listen. I can’t see you like that. It wouldn’t be…appropriate.”
“Well, actually, I thought about my brother or my dad and frankly, that really doesn’t appeal to me. So,” she said, lifting a video from the table beside her, “I got us a childbirth movie from Mel.”
“Aw, no,” he said, pleading.
She stood up and popped it into the VCR, then sat down
again with the remote in her hand. “Jack delivered his own son,” she said.
“I know, but in case you’re interested, he wasn’t thrilled about it at the time. And he refuses to do it again—he’s adamant about that. And, Vanni, this isn’t my son. This is my best friend’s son.”
“Of course I know that, Paul. But since it is your best friend’s son, he’d be so grateful.” She started the video. “Now, I want you to concentrate on what the partner is doing. Don’t worry about the mother. Most of the time while I’m in labor you’ll either be behind me, or helping me walk or squat to use gravity to help with the dilating, or reminding me to breathe properly. It’s not like you’re going to have your face in the field of birth.”
“I’m starting to feel kind of weak,” he said. “Why don’t you ask Brie or Paige, if you need someone for that?”
“I could do that, but to tell you the truth, I’m much closer to you. And you’re here—right here. You can do this. We’ll watch the movie together and if you have any questions, just ask me.”
He looked at the screen, his brows drawn together. He squinted. This was an unattractive woman, giving birth. Well, not just yet—she was working up to it. Her big belly was sticking out, which was not what made her plain. It was the stringy hair, monobrow, baggy socks on her feet and—“Vanni, she has very hairy legs.”
“If that’s what worries you I can still manage to shave my legs, even though I have to admit I’ve lost interest.”
The hospital gown on the woman was draped over her belly and legs in such a way that when she started to rise into a sitting position, spreading her thighs and grabbing them to bear down, she was covered. Then the doctor or midwife or
whoever was in charge flipped that gown out of the way and there, right in Paul’s face, was the top of a baby’s head emerging from the woman’s body. “Aw, man,” he whined, putting his head in his hands.
“I said watch the coach—don’t worry about the woman,” Vanni lectured.
“It’s pretty damn hard to not look at that, Vanni,” he said.
“Concentrate.”
So he looked up and saw that behind the woman, supporting her, was a man—presumably her husband—holding her shoulders and smiling and telling her to push. But Paul’s gaze dropped, because how could he help it? And there, again, was the baby’s head.
“This is cruel and unusual,” he muttered.
“You go to war and shoot animals in the woods—surely you can
do
this,” she said, getting very bossy as she did so. “Big animals—you shoot big animals. This is a lot nicer than that.”
“Depends entirely on what you’re used to,” he grumbled. He watched as the man on the screen told the woman to pant, pant, pant and then push, push, push. Well, how hard was that? And the woman was sweating as if she had just run a marathon. She grabbed her own thighs again, pulled herself up, bore down with a grunt and a snarl as if bench-pressing 350, and holy shit! The head popped right out of her! “Aw, man,” he whined again, ducking and swinging his head, bringing himself right to a standing position, turning his back on the TV. “Vanessa, where is your father?”
“I sent Dad and Tommy to the stable so we could watch this movie together.”
“Vanessa, I cannot do this. It’s not like I’ve been expecting to do this for a long time. Or if you were like some
stranger, a woman suddenly having a baby in my taxicab or something—”
“Look, Paul,” she said, pointing. He glanced back at the screen over his shoulder and saw the whole baby come sliding out, all gross and mucky, right into the doctor’s hands. And the cord, still attached, was threaded up inside the woman.
Paul sat down and put his head between his knees, because it would be so embarrassing to faint and have her revive him. “Vanessa,” he said miserably, “you are making the biggest mistake of your life here.”
Her hand was on his knee. “We can watch it several times until you get used to it. Desensitized, as it were.”
“Please, God, no…”
“Well, if that’s what it takes…”
He lifted his head in time to see the cord had been cut, and the baby was placed on the mother’s stomach when this
horrible
-looking thing he knew to be a placenta came bubbling out. He thought, I’m gonna die. Right here, right now.
Vanessa made a terrible sound and he thought, see! She can’t take it, either! But when he looked at her, he realized that wasn’t the problem. With one hand on her big belly and a grimace on her face, she looked as if they were headed far too rapidly for real life.
“Oh-oh,” he said.
“Yeah,” she said. “Shew. It’s okay—we have plenty of time. We can watch the movie again and again, if you need to.”
“No,” he said sternly. “I am never watching that movie again!”
“Then you’re good to go?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t say so, no.”
“Okay,” she said, clearly ignoring him. “I think you should
go take a shower. Clean up. I’ve been in labor all day, but the contractions are getting serious now and I’m going to call Mel to touch base.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“We’re gonna do it, Paul. I know you won’t let me down.”
“I bet I will,” he said. “If I manage to stay upright through something like that, it’ll be a miracle. I’m talking miracle!”
“I need you,” she said. “If Matt can’t be here with me, I need you to be here with me. Please?”
Oh, goddamn it, he thought. She’s playing the Matt card.
“Please?”
“Vanni, I’d do anything for you, honey. But this is a mistake. A mistake.”
And she said, “Ohhhhh,” while she held her belly. He stared at her with wide, horrified eyes while she tried to get through the contraction.
So that’s what he’d seen on her face when he walked in the door. She was now having her baby and everything else was on the back burner. She was focused, like a mother wolf protecting her pup—not a grieving widow, but a mother. And she meant business. It amazed him how something like that kicked in. When the contraction passed she looked at him with clear but fierce aquamarine eyes and said, “Shower.” Then she stood, holding her belly underneath, and went to the phone.
Paul went to his room, gathered clean clothes and headed down the hall to the shower. He made it quick, but clean. He shaved. Then he thought, I am shaving—why? To be smooth cheeked when I pass out? By the time he was coming out with his dirty clothes to take back to his room, he heard voices. Male voices down the hall and female voices in Vanni’s room. And laughter—as if there was
anything
to laugh about!
He headed down the hall where there were men, where
there would be someone sympathetic who could get him out of this. There he found Jack with David on his hip, Walt and Tommy. “Hey, there,” Jack said. “How you doing?”
Paul got right up close to Jack. “Listen, Jack, you have no idea what she wants me to do,” he said under his breath.
“Yeah, I do. She told everyone. Mel will be right out to get you as soon as Vanni’s settled.”
“You’d be better at this than me,” he said.
“Yeah, I probably would.” Jack grinned. “But I wasn’t asked.”
“I can’t do this,” he whispered.
Jack clamped a hand on his back. “Sure you can. You’ll be fine. Count your lucky stars—at least you have a midwife in there with you.” Jack smiled. “It’ll be a good experience for you.”
“I’m sure you’re wrong about that.”
“Paul!” Mel called. “We’re ready for you.”
“Aw, Jesus.”
Jack leaned toward him. “Man-up, pal. Or they’ll never let you hear the end of it.”
Reluctantly Paul went down the hall. Mel, grinning very happily, met him outside Vanni’s bedroom door. “How we doing?” she asked.
“Not so good, Mel. I’m pretty sure I’m not up to this. I’m very inexperienced.”
“All right, Paul, don’t worry. It’s going to be a while before the baby comes, and right now all Vanni really needs is someone to rub her back, help her remember to breathe through the contractions, maybe give her a damp cloth for her forehead, or the back of the neck really helps sometimes. That’s all.”
“I can do that part.”
“That’s good. If you can’t go the distance, that’s okay. Just get us that far, okay?”
“I’ll do what I can,” he said. When he got into the room he was very relieved to see Vanni, clothed in a gown that didn’t reveal anything, sitting up in the bed, cross-legged, smiling. So he smiled back. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine at the moment, thanks.”
“Vanni, you should have told me this was what you wanted a long time ago. I’m totally unprepared to do this.”
“Don’t worry, Paul. You’ll be fine.”
“Probably not. I probably won’t be—”
He stopped talking as he noticed he didn’t have her attention anymore. She was looking off into the distance, running her hands in circles over her belly, breathing in with slow exhales. And after just a moment of that, her face contorted and the breathing came faster, harder. Then there was some groaning as the pain seized her. As the crescendo was reached, it began to subside, back to the slow exhales and circular hand movements, then eventually it went away and she looked back up at him and smiled.
Mel came back into the room carrying towels. “How’s the back?”
She put a hand to her lower back and said, “Lots of pressure there, but it’s okay.”
“Here,” Paul said. “Try to lean forward a little.” He pressed his fingertips against the small of her back. “Does that help?”
“Oh, that’s good. Very good.” He moved his hands around the small of her back, then up to her shoulders, massaging them. “Oh, that’s lovely,” she murmured.
Mel stayed busy in the room, laying things out—instruments, blankets, gloves, basin. While Vanni went into and through another contraction, Mel simply organized her
supplies, leaving Vanni’s contraction to Paul. When Vanni couldn’t lean forward during the contraction, when it pushed her back against the pillows, Paul just concentrated on massaging her shoulders and upper arms and neck. He found himself saying, “Relax and breathe, Vanni—in and out slowly. Good, good. How’s that?”
“Uh,” she said. “Uh, uh, uh! Ohhhhh.”
“Mel?” he asked.
“Yes, Paul?”
“Can’t you give her something?”
“No, Paul. She’s doing great.” Mel looked at her watch. “They’re coming closer.” When the contraction passed she said, “Let’s get you up, Vanni. Stand up for me—get a little help from gravity. Paul, let’s get her up.”
Vanni swung her legs over the side and with Paul’s assistance she stood up. When the next contraction came, she had to sit on the edge of the bed, which made it a little easier for Paul to rub her back. Mel slipped out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her. As the contraction passed, Paul urged her to stand again and they did that for a little while, up and down, up and down. And then, just as Mel entered the room again, Vanni let go with a great groan and her water broke, running in a huge gush to the floor. It splashed on Paul’s shoes and soaked the carpet.
“Well, that’s a good sign. Here, let me spread out a couple of towels and I’ll check you, see how we’re doing. By the way, a birthing party has begun out there.”
“Really?” Vanni said. Then she groaned and bent over, panting.
“I’m sure it was completely unplanned, but when Jack leaked it that you were in labor, Preacher and Paige came out—Christopher is watching a video, but he’s falling asleep
on the couch. Mike and Brie are here, whipping up some snacks in the kitchen, keeping your dad and Tommy company. Jack’s giving David his evening bottle, and…” She stopped talking as she helped Vanni back onto the bed. Vanni’s knees came up, Mel pulled the gloves on and with one hand on her belly and the other disappearing between her legs, Mel said, “Well, now. Vanessa, you ought to do this for a living. You’re making great progress. Stay like that if you can—on your next contraction, I want to see if I can spread you a little bit.” She looked up over her belly. “Grab Paul’s hand and breathe—it isn’t going to feel good, but it might give us faster results.”