White Dreams (8 page)

Indicating the gown she wore, Star frowned. “I have this. Surely one dress will do?”

Renny giggled and hopped down from the bed. “You can’t wear just one dress, Star. You have to have lots or people will talk and think you are poor. ’Sides, our stuff don’t last as long as yours.”

“Our stuff
doesn’t
last as long,” Emma corrected.

“Yeah.” Renny sighed, looking at her own hide dress with regret. “Guess I’ll have to get used to wearing my old clothes again too. Come on, Matilda. Your turn.”

Eight days after they arrived at the fort, Grady’s soldiers finally found and flagged down a steamboat traveling down the Missouri River.

Grady greeted the captain of the steamboat
Annabella
as he rowed ashore—there wasn’t a suitable docking area for the steamboat close to the fort. The small, rotund man had a thick black beard and lively eyes the color of the muddy Missouri River, and he kissed Grady on both cheeks in greeting. Grady found himself smiling at the Frenchman s enthusiastic hello.

“Colonel, it is good to see you once again.” He stepped back, looking concerned. “Your daughters? Please, I pray zat you found zem, and zey are back with zeir papa?”

“Yes, Captain Billaud. Emma and Renny are both safe. In fact, I was hoping that you have room on the
Annabella
for us.”

“Ah, for you and your lovely daughters, I will make room.” The Frenchman rubbed his plump hands together. “Zere is none who knows zis river like I do. We are like lovers, zis river and I. I know her moods and her wily ways. Do not worry, I will see you and your family safely back to St. Louis.”

“Thank you, Captain. We should be ready to board within the hour.”

“I will prepare cabins. Lucky for you zat we are not full.”

Grady quickly sent word to the women to make haste. Ever since they had been installed in the barracks together, they had become a giggling gaggle, and their laughter had been heard long into the night. Though Striking Thunder and Golden Eagle had expressed anxiousness to have their wives back on their own sleeping mats, the women had remained inseparable for the past seven days, and Grady knew that at least the men would be glad to get things back to normal.

While he waited for the others, Grady saw to the loading of his personal effects and ordered his soldiers to report to Fort Randall, farther upriver. With them, he sent the letter of resignation that he had penned the night before.

At last, all was set. He was just waiting for the women to finish with their tasks. In the midst of pacing impatiently, Zac, Zeb and their younger brother Zeke—he had waited for his brothers’ return at the fort—shuffled up to him. His heart grew heavy at the thought of saying goodbye to them.

They’d been together for many years now—ever since he’d rescued Zeke from what could have been a torturous death at the hands of the Blackfeet. Since that day, the three brothers had followed him from one wilderness post to another. With a start, Grady realized they’d become a substitute family.

Zac, Zeb and Zeke looked as miserable as he felt. Zac, the eldest, scratched his ear. “If it’s all right, Colonel, we thought we’d go with ya to St. Louie. Ya might need some help protectin’ them women, ya know.” He broke off and stared at the ground.

“And mebbe ya might need some help gettin’ settled, or…somethin’,” Zeb added, pulling at his beard.

Zeke kicked a rock. “Truth is, Colonel, it won’t be the same out here without ya. We promise not ta get in yer way.”

The sight of the three—men who looked as though they sprang from the mountains and could tackle a bear and emerge the victor—wearing woebegone expressions, touched Grady deep inside.

Truth to tell, he liked the idea of having these three devoted men to help watch over Star and the girls. Space was not a problem, either. He’d had his home built a few years after Emma’s birth with the hope of filling the vast number of empty rooms with the sound of children’s laughter. But that had never happened.

Now his house sat empty, much as his heart had been all these years. But surrounded by friends and his daughters, the barren cavity of his heart was slowly filling. Apparently, so was his house.

Realizing that the three brothers were anxiously awaiting his answer, he grinned. “You are all welcome to come with me and to stay as long as you like.” He vowed to help the men find employment in St. Louis for as long as they wanted to stay. Surely he had connections that would be helpful in doing so.

The men gave hoots of relief, and they hastened off to gather their piles of possessions.

“That was generous of you, Papa,” Emma said from behind him, making him start. She approached, and he could see tears trailing down her cheeks. Was she really going to miss him so much?

Grady opened his arms.

She ran to him. “I’m going to miss you.”

“And I you, my sweet Emma. My princess…thank you for coming to look for me.” He tightened his hold, his fingers buried in her hair at the back of her head as she sobbed on his shoulder. After a moment, he gently held her away and wiped her tears with a clean handkerchief. “You’ll never have to do that again. I’ll be back. I promise, I’ll be back.”

“Oh, Papa, I know you will.”

“Emma, are you sure this is what you want?” He knew the answer, that she belonged here with her husband, but he needed to hear the words one last time.

Emma smiled, her eyes softening. “Yes, Father. I’m sure. Very sure.”

He nodded. “I will take good care of your sister.”

At this, Emma’s lips curled into an amused grin. She wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and chuckled. “She won’t make it easy for you.”

Grady sighed at the truth of her words. Renny would continue to test him. Lord only knew if he would pass or not. For the past week, whenever he felt he was making headway, she had turned on him. The return of Captain Billaud halted their conversation.

“Miss Emma. Miss Emma!” The young woman was pulled into a hug by the Frenchman.

“Captain, I am so sorry for the worry I caused you.” She pulled away. “And for the coach that was destroyed.”

The riverman waved aside her apology. “Not to worry. I am just so relieved to see you have not come to harm.” For the first time, he noticed her Indian garb and her rounding figure. He flushed.

Grady intervened. “Emma will be staying behind with her husband.” He indicated Striking Thunder, who stood several feet away, a watchful and loving eye on his wife.

“Zat is your husband?”

“Yes.”

Billaud’s brows lowered in fatherly concern. “Do you love zis man?”

Emma laughed softly. “Oh, yes, Captain, with all my heart.”

A wide smile split his face. “Zen I wish you all ze best, Miss Emma. All ze best. And where is ze little one, your sister?”

“Here she comes.” Emma pointed.

Grady glanced across the compound. Half a dozen soldiers were carrying two trunks and other assorted baggage. Renny and Morning Moon ran ahead of them, White Dove and her mother following. Grady assumed Star was following behind.

Renny skidded to a stop in front of the river captain. They too exchanged greetings, then she introduced Morning Moon. Though Grady saw questions in the Frenchman’s eyes, the man didn’t say a word or blink an eye. He greeted the two girls, charming them with his easy manner.

“Are my horses on the boat yet?” Renny asked eagerly, scanning the loading process. “There are two of them and they are mine.” That last bit was added defiantly.

The captain’s bushy black brows slid beneath his cap. “Ah,
mademoiselle
has her own horses now, does she?”

“Yes, she does,” Renny stated.

“Zen you must go check on zem.”

Renny started to do so, then turned to her sister. Her lower lip quivered. Emma held out her arms and Renny ran into them.

“Emma?”

“What is it, sweetie?”

“What if there are attacks by the Arikara again? Things happen that are bad… Morning Moon—I mean Matilda—lost her father, and… What if something happens and I never see you again?” The little girl’s anguish made Grady’s stomach twist and bunch, but his daughter bravely fought back tears.

Emma wrapped her arms around Renny, holding her tightly. “In your heart, you must believe that we will see each other again. If we worry too much over dying, we would never leave our homes. It is a part of life, death is. And we must live every day to the fullest—no matter where we are or who we’re with.”

“But six months is an awfully long time to be gone.” Renny bit her lower lip. “You won’t forget me, will you?”

“Of course not! The time will go quickly for both of us.” Emma let go of her sister, then reached up to untie something around her neck. “I want you to have this.” It was a beaded necklace.

Renny’s eyes grew wide as she was given the beaded medallion. It depicted two stick figures—one tall, one short—and Grady realized they were her and Emma. “Hey, this is the necklace Morning Moon gave you when Striking Thunder first brought you to his village,” his youngest daughter exclaimed, tracing the rows of beads.

“Yes. She didn’t want me to worry about you and thought this would help me have faith that I’d find you again. Whenever you are worried, wear this and have faith that we’ll see each other again.”

Renny slipped the necklace over her head and cupped the beaded circle in her hand. She looked happier. “Thanks, Em.”

“Come on, Renny. You’ll see your sister again soon.” Morning Moon, who’d already said goodbye to her family, put an arm around her friend. A moment later, the captain followed to see them personally aboard.

Touched, Grady strode over to Striking Thunder and Golden Eagle. He cleared his throat. “We must be going. Where is—”

He broke off when he spotted Star coming slowly toward him. She was wearing a dress of pale blue, and sunlight glittered in her eyes, Her mouth curved into a shy smile.

Her hair had been twisted and put up, calling attention to her slender neck, the smooth line of her jaw and the delicate hollows below her high cheekbones. Grady blinked and sucked in his breath and stared at the exquisite figure coming toward him.

Unlike the shapeless doeskins he was used to seeing Star wear, the bodice of her new dress hugged her curves, revealing the gentle swell of her breasts and the narrowness of her waist. He knew just by looking, he’d be able to span it with his hands.

Before, she’d looked young and fragile, but now she looked as if the slightest breeze could sweep her away. All his protective instincts rose, as well as a few others of less commendable nature.

With a start, he reminded himself that she was coming with him to help him with Renny. He’d promised her a safe haven. She was off-limits. But the attraction he’d felt before again sprung to life, leaving him no doubt as to what his body desired.

She stopped before him, and the sudden appearance of a mischievous twinkle in her eyes left him reeling. Was she enjoying his sense of shock?

“Will this do?” Star spun around. Nervous but doing everything she could to hide it, she released her breath, relieved. She’d already endured a goodly amount of good-natured teasing from her brother and sister, though her parents had assured her that she looked beautiful. Surprisingly, she
felt
beautiful. She felt different, stronger, in control. But her racing heart still sought this man’s opinion.

Grady cleared his throat. “You are truly a sight to behold, Mrs. Cartier.” He took her hand in his, bent his head and lightly kissed the backs of her fingers.

Star looked confused for a moment, then grinned sheepishly. “I’m not used to being called by my new name,” she said shyly. Or having her fingers kissed. The strange custom sent a warm glow through her hand and up her arm. She liked that manner of greeting.

Grady released her fingers. “If you are ready, we mustn’t keep the good captain waiting.”

Star turned to her parents, sister and brother. They hugged, cried and said their goodbyes one last time. Then she and Emma embraced.

“I shall miss you, my sister. I’ll take good care of Running Elk.”

Star smiled sadly. “I know you will. I miss him already.”

Her sister-in-law sobered. “I hope you will find what you seek.” Emma wiped the tears from her face. “Watch over Renny and keep her out of mischief.”

That released some of the tension, for both knew the task would be nearly impossible. Star laughed. “I will return in time for the birth of your babe.” A sudden buzzing filled her head as an image of Emma nursing a baby flitted across her mind. An instant later it was gone. It confused and bothered her. How could she see the births of future generations from her brothers and sisters so clearly, while other visions were so vague and unsettling? Once again, she railed against the unfairness of her gift.

But at least she knew her brother’s wife would deliver a healthy child. “You will make a good mother, my sister,” she said. “I shall miss you.”

Emma stepped back as Striking Thunder gathered Star in one last embrace. “Come back to us, my sister.”

Attempting to lighten the heavy atmosphere, she sniffed back her tears and forced a brave smile to her lips. “I’ll be back for the birth of your…
child.
” She deliberately paused, and as she’d known would happen, Striking Thunder’s brows rose.

“Wait! Before you leave, tell us—what is it, a boy or a girl?”

Star laughed and winked at Emma, then accepted Grady’s arm. “I would not dream of spoiling your surprise, brother.”

Striking Thunder spluttered, but Star took Grady’s hand and got into the small wooden boat waiting on the riverbank. A short while later, Star had left all she knew and loved behind for dreams of a new beginning.

Star entered her appointed cabin on the second deck and felt as though she’d stepped into another world. The small, sparsely furnished room held two beds and a small table with two chairs. Plush red carpeting covered the floor, incredibly detailed flowers scrolled up the walls from midway to the ceiling and wood paneling covered the lower half of the walls. Lamps and mirrors edged with gold were hung as well in decoration.

“I do not have many passenger cabins, Mrs. Cartier, not like ze new steamers. I mainly haul cargo up ze Missouri, but zis is my finest room.” Captain Billaud took the few steps needed to cross the room to open a door she hadn’t spotted. “It even has a water closet,” he said proudly. Stepping back into the corridor, he shouted for the men with her trunks to hurry.

Star peered into the small enclosure he’d just pointed out, wondering what exactly a water closet was. Behind her, Renny and Morning Moon tested the two beds, chatting excitedly.

Beneath Star’s feet, vibrations from the high-pressure engines rumbled, and noise from the upper deck wound down to the one below, along with an assortment of odors, most not so pleasant. At last, two men arrived with the trunks. They were followed by a young boy.

“My cabin boy will see to your luggage for you.”

The boy slid past the Frenchman’s bulky form to pull open another door concealed in the dark paneling. Star was shocked to see a long rod and drawers set into the wall. With a wide smile at her, the cabin boy began to lift the lid of her trunk.

Realizing what he was going to do, Star rushed forward. “This isn’t necessary, Captain. I can unpack my own things.”

Renny giggled and flopped over onto her stomach. “Uh-uh, Star. That’s not done. Servants do the unpacking.”

“Quite right,
madame.
Zere is a promenade galley on zis deck for my first-class passengers, along with a newly redone salon in ze center of ze cabins. Rest, and I shall see you at supper.” With a salute, the captain left.

Speechless, Star watched the riverman leave. Emma had said nothing about servants, nor had Colonel O’Brien. He’d only mentioned hiring a cook and cleaning staff. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she felt awkward—and embarrassed—at having a young boy handling her clothing, especially when she was perfectly capable of seeing to her own things.

Lifting her two Indian garments from the trunk, along with an assortment of leather pouches that held sewing, herbal and other supplies, he sent her an awed look. “Yer a
real
Indian!”

Renny and Morning Moon giggled, causing the poor boy’s face to redden. “Girls!” she admonished. “Yes, my daughter and I are Sioux.” He appeared only slightly older than the two girls.

“Gee, I’ve never met a real Indian before.” He started in on the second trunk. Minutes later, done, he hesitated, as if he longed to strike up another conversation, but a sudden bellow from the hall had him scurrying out the door.

Star glanced over at her daughter, who was staring around her. “What do you think, daughter?”

“The bed is so soft!” Morning Moon’s eyes were wide. She looked toward the closed door. “Do we have to stay inside and rest as the captain said?”

Laughing, Star jumped up and smoothed her skirts. “Absolutely not. Who wants to go explore with me?”

Both girls shouted at once.

“I can show you everything,” Renny cried, wrenching the door open. “I’ve been everywhere on this boat—when Em and I were going to the fort.”

Star followed the girls out, her excitement nearly as high as theirs.

Grady escorted Star into the ship’s small but adequate private dining room. It boasted half a dozen tables covered with snowy-white cloths, gleaming silverware and sparkling glassware. The ivory walls were trimmed with gilt, and the large mirror at the end of the long, narrow room gave the impression that the room went on forever.

The captain came toward them. “Ah,
monsieur
. I hope you found your accommodations adequate?”

“More than adequate, Captain. I suspect you take more passengers than you let on.”

Billaud’s eyes twinkled. “Ah, ze money in zat is good. But not too many passengers want to go north on an old ship that has seen better days. Alas, most prefer to go to New Orleans on ze newer, more luxurious steamers.”

Despite what the man said, from what Grady had seen, Billaud was managing nicely. Though the ship was small, it was well maintained and lacked nothing to make her passengers feel at home. “Come. You must join me at my table.”

Grady motioned for Star to precede him. Like her daughter’s, her eyes were wide with wonder. If she thought this grand, wait until she saw his house. His lips twitched. He chafed at the two months it would take to arrive home. He was eager to show her his home, and his city.

At the head table, another family had already been seated. “Ah, Colonel, may I present Mrs. Smith and her children, Bobby and Jane? Mrs. Smith is traveling from Canada to St. Louis to join her husband.” Captain Billaud then introduced Grady and his party.

Star smiled shyly and allowed the captain to seat her at his right.

As Mrs. Smith looked from Grady and his uniform to Star, her gaze hardened. The woman stared at Renny then at Morning Moon. Star Dreamer’s daughter stared back with dark, solemn eyes.

Mrs. Smith set her glass of sherry down and smiled tightly. “Captain, surely you do not plan to seat this squaw and her offspring at this table?”

Her high, fluttery laugh grated on Grady’s nerves, as did the condescending looks she bestowed on Star and the children. “Is there a problem, Mrs. Smith?” he asked before the captain could intervene. He stared at her distastefully and she stiffened.

“Well, it’s just not done,” she said. “The
common herd
have their own facilities. I pay well to keep my children away from riffraff and those who are below our station. And you must admit, having your—” she paused “—this woman and her offspring sitting at this table is simply not proper. Appearances are ever so important, don’t you agree?”

Grady rested his palms on Star’s shoulders, silently cursing Mrs. Smith for her rudeness. He felt Star tremble. “It is my opinion, Mrs. Smith, that manners are much more so.” That said, he swept his gaze over her with an air of dismissal.

She gasped. “Well, I never.” She turned back to the captain. Billaud stood silent, his big hands on Renny’s shoulders, obviously stilling her desire to protest the woman’s rude behavior.

“Captain, I insist you intervene. I cannot share a table with heathens.”

Captain Billaud nodded. “Quite so, Mrs. Smith. I would not wish you or your children to be upset.” He motioned one of his servants over.

Mrs. Smith preened and shot Star a gloating look. “Thank you. Captain.”

“See to it zat Mrs. Smith and her children are taken to zeir quarters and served zeir meal there.”

The woman gasped in outrage, but the captain gave her an oblivious smile.

“I hope zis meets with your approval, Mrs. Smith. Come tomorrow, I will see zat you and your family are seated at ze table in ze back of ze room to assure your comfort.”

After the woman had huffily stamped away, Grady sat beside Star. The captain seated the two young girls opposite, placing Morning Moon beside him. Grady nodded slightly to show his thanks, then set about coaxing a smile from Star by regaling her and Billaud with a story about his men that had never failed to be entertaining.

But though Star smiled and laughed, the excitement had dimmed from her eyes. Taking a sip of his wine, Grady cursed people like Mrs. Smith. He’d hoped that Star would enjoy her time with his people, but they had gotten off to a terrible start. He glanced down at her plate, noting that she hadn’t eaten much. Even now, she was just pushing food around with her fork.

Across from him, he caught the stubborn set of his daughter’s jaw and knew she was busily plotting something. She too saw how much damage Mrs. Smith had done. He sent her a silent warning.

She lowered her eyes and gave herself over to eating, but Grady felt certain that his daughter had hardly given up her plan. Some perverse part of Grady sided with Renny and looked forward to seeing what she intended.

He had the feeling this trip was not going to be a dull one.

Renny and Morning Moon crept from their cabin. Their shadows, long and grotesque, wavered along the interior of the
Annabella’
s dimly lit walls. Below their feet, the wooden floor beneath the worn carpeting creaked, making Renny cringe. After pausing she led the way, moving stealthily with her back against the wall. At the end of the long corridor, she stopped and peered around the corner. “No one’s coming. We have to hurry and do this, then get back to our cabin before your mother comes in to go to bed.”

“Your father will be angry if he learns we have disobeyed.” Morning Moon glanced nervously over her shoulder.

Renny whipped her head around, a deep frown marring her forehead. “Shush! Not so loud. And quit worrying. He won’t find out. He’s probably in bed ’cause he gets up so early.”

Morning Moon sighed with resignation and followed. “I don’t know why we’re doing this. The soldiers are with your horses. They are safe.”

Renny narrowed her eyes. “Jake yells too much, and he uses a whip on his horse. No one is going to be mean to mine.”

They peered down the stairs leading to where livestock was kept. Renny froze. Deep male voices were echoing up from below—her father’s and Zeb’s. Wide-eyed, she gauged the distance behind them back to safety. They’d never make it in time.

Unwilling to face her father’s wrath, she yanked on Morning Moon’s arm. Testing the door of the room on her right, she found it unlocked. Billaud had said the boat was practically empty on its return trip to St. Louis, and Renny thanked Heaven for that. She ducked inside, pulling her friend with her. Closing the door silently, she pressed her ear to the cool wood surface, listening for her father’s voice. “We’ll just wait here until he’s gone, then well sneak back—”

Morning Moon pulled on her sleeve. “Renny…”

Renny rolled her eyes and motioned for her friend to be quiet. “Shush! Gosh, you worry a lot.”

“Renny!”

At the sound of desperation, she glanced at her friend. A sinking sensation hit her stomach at the sight of the girl’s look of horror. Slowly, Renny turned to see what Morning Moon was staring at.

“Ah, is there a problem,
mademoiselles?
”

Renny jumped, squealed in surprise and flattened her back against the door. She groaned, as much from dismay as at the stab of pain from the doorknob jabbing her in the back. Oh, Lord. Of all cabins to duck into, trust her to pick the captain’s. Her mind racing, she kept her fingers wrapped around the doorknob in case they needed a quick escape. “No. No problem, Captain. We just got…lost.”

The sound of male voices outside penetrated the room. Captain Billaud steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them. “Ah, I understand.” His eyes twinkled with amusement.

Heaving a sigh, Renny released the doorknob. “I was just going to check on my horses one more time, then go to bed,” she muttered defiantly.

He nodded. “Yes, having animals is a responsibility. But you should not go down zere alone, little one. One cannot guarantee ze nature of every man on board. If you will not ask your papa to take you, zen I will accompany you.”

The captain was a busy man. His offer made Renny feel guilty. “That’s not necessary, Captain. I apologize for disturbing you. I’ll just wait until tomorrow. I’m sure they are fine.” But as much as she wanted to avoid putting him out, she did want to see the horses.

Billaud shook his head, his eyes full of understanding. “I think you will not sleep unless you see with your own eyes zeir well-being. Come. Sit and allow me to finish my entry. Zen we shall go down.”

Renny and Morning Moon moved to the two chairs on either side of his desk. When he at last finished logging his daily entry, he set his journal and pen aside. “I am happy zat you found your papa. You and your sister had yourselves quite an adventure, no?”

Renny grimaced. “Some of it was fun, but lots of it was scary.”

“Now you are returning home.”

Swinging her legs, a wave of sadness washed over her. “Yeah, but not Emma. I wish I could stay with her.”

“It is hard to leave family. But zat is the way of life. Someday you will fall in love and leave your papa, too.”

“Maybe. But Emma gets to keep having lots of adventures—without me.”

“Ah, little one, adventure is always around ze corner. You have to make your own.”

“I always get in trouble when I do that.”

“Well, no harm done zis time. In ze future, you might want to consult with your young friend. Sometimes our actions also affect others.”

That was true. She could have gotten her friend in trouble too. “I’m sorry, Morn—Matilda.”

“My uncle says you are a wild spirit who hasn’t found a home yet.” She grinned. “But I like that.”

Relieved that her friend wasn’t mad at her, Renny turned her attention back to their surroundings. The cabin was much like the one she shared with Morning Moon and Star Dreamer, but more cluttered. Trunks and boxes lined the walls. The sound of squealing drew her attention to a small cage on a sideboard beneath the curtained portal. “What’s in there?” she asked.

The captain stood and brought the cage to the desk. “Zis is Tillie. I got her from another captain who assured me she’d make a nice pet. However, he did not tell me she would be a mama so young!”

Renny stared down at a large brown rat and her babies. “Someone gave you a rat? For a pet? Wow! My aunt Ida was always trying to kill them. I didn’t know you could keep them as pets.”

“You cannot just take a wild rat, little one. You must start with a baby. See?” He reached in, and the mother immediately abandoned her furry young to scamper up his sleeve to perch on his shoulder. The bright-eyed animal licked its tiny paws and washed its face while eyeing the visitors with interest.

Renny stretched out her arm cautiously and held her breath when the rat planted its paws on her palm. Long whiskers tickled her wrist, then Tillie decided to remain where she was and sat back on the captain’s shoulder.