Authors: Susan Edwards
Eirica chuckled. “I think she’ll be a good mother.”
Wrinkling her nose, Jessie muttered, “Better than a bread baker, that’s for sure.”
The women laughed and headed back toward their own wagons to get a start on the evening chores. Though Eirica longed for a cup of tea, she settled for a long drink of tepid water from the small water barrel on the back of her wagon. The sooner the meal was cooked and clean-up done, the sooner she and James could spend time together, unless he had first watch that night.
As she worked, she let her mind wander over her day. James had spent the day with her, alternating between helping her with the children and her wagon. Now that she wasn’t with child, she insisted on doing her share and had no trouble handling the team.
True to his word, he’d started teaching her what she would need to know, including how to protect herself in case of trouble. But she wasn’t very good with a knife or shooting. She hated the thought that she might someday need to use one in defense, but knew that never again would she be a victim.
When the others learned that James was teaching Eirica to handle weapons, Rook insisted the rest of the women learn some measure of self-protection. When Coralie and Catarina both declined his suggestion, he’d sat them all down and purged from his soul the sad tale of how he’d lost his wife and daughter. For the first time ever, with Sofia sitting beside him, holding his hand, he even mentioned losing his unborn second child. After that, there were no more protests.
Eirica’s days and evenings were filled with lots to do, but her favorite time came each evening, after the children were abed and it was just her and James. They’d stroll in the dark. Sometimes, they talked. Other times, they’d take advantage of a secluded place to kiss. Heat suffused her when she thought of what else they’d done in the deep shadows of the night.
James had shown her just what pleasure he could bring her with his fingers and even more amazing, had taught her to pleasure him with hers. They’d pleased each other several times since she’d given birth to Summer, but it wasn’t the same as having James make love to her. Eirica yearned to experience true love-making with him and share that incredible oneness that only happened when they were joined. But knew she had to wait a bit longer for her body to fully heal from giving birth. Soon, she comforted herself. Soon she’d be able to make love with James again.
As if he knew that she was thinking of him, James walked over to her after tending the oxen and the tent and pulled her into his arms for a deep, soul-searching kiss. “I couldn’t wait another minute for that.”
Eirica flushed. “James, someone will see.”
He grinned. “Everyone knows how I feel about you, sweetheart. I have to go check on the cattle. Can you handle things here?”
“Go. I’m fine.”
“I’ll try to be back in time for supper.”
Eirica watched him mount and ride off. With a sigh, she checked on her children. As usual, Alison and Ian were running around together, playing chase with Hanna and Kerstin, while Lara played on her own by the tent. Coralie still had Summer with her, which left Eirica free to start supper.
Around them, people came and went. Men with thick beards, hats pulled over their heads and exhaustion written in the slump of their shoulders, pushed handcarts high-piled past where she worked. Others led mules and oxen to the water. Newcomers arrived, full-loaded wagons bumping along as families sought to find an uncrowded spot near the river. Tents went up and a multitude of sounds rode on the wind. Another ending to a day on the trail.
Eirica served three plates of beans and bacon, then called her children. Alison and Ian came running, each kneeling down around a wooden box. Ian immediately used his fingers to pick up his beans one at a time and pop them into his mouth. She poured three tin cups of milk. “Now where is your sister?” Lara sometimes had to be coaxed to eat as she hated to stop whatever she was doing. “Lara!”
Eirica strode to the far side of the tent where she’d last seen her daughter playing in the dirt with the wooden figures Rook had carved. The toys were there, scattered among mounds of dirt and rock, but where was Lara? Eirica frowned and turned in a slow circle, searching for her daughter. Bidding Alison to stay with Ian, Eirica went to the Svenssons’ camp. Maybe her daughter had followed Anne’s children. But Lara wasn’t there either. Unease skittered up her spine. Where was she? She wouldn’t wander off, not Lara.
Eirica went from camp to camp, her steps quickening as her panic grew.
James rode toward Eirica’s wagon, as always, eager to see her again. Jeremy and Jordan, along with three other hired men, rode toward Rook’s campsite, each arguing as to who’d be first in line to see what Sofia had fixed for their supper.
Passing the meal line, James sniffed. Whatever Sofia had fixed sure smelled right tempting to a hungry man. His stomach agreed then protested when he rode past.
Before he reached Eirica’s wagon, he heard her voice.
“James!”
At the sound of her high-pitched cry, James spun his horse around. He jumped down and caught her as she ran up to him. “Lara’s gone. I can’t find her. I’ve checked everywhere.” Eirica’s voice rose with panic.
James ran his hands up her arms. “She’s here somewhere, sweetheart. Don’t worry. We’ll find her. Where did you last see her?”
Eirica led him to the side of the tent and the forgotten wooden animals. “She was right here. When I called her for supper, she was gone.” Big blue eyes rounded with fear stared up at him. “James, Lara wouldn’t wander off.”
James knew Eirica spoke the truth. Unlike Ian, who habitually wandered off, Lara tended to stay close, only wandering amidst the Svenssons. While the boy had given him and Eirica this same scare at Fort Bridger when he’d gotten lost, this seemed out of character for the older girl. His unease grew. If Lara weren’t here, where was she?
He snapped his fingers. “Did you check the wagon where the pups are?”
Relief showed on Eirica’s features. “No. I didn’t look there. Do you think?”
“Let’s go check.”
Together, they ran to one of Rook’s wagons. Since many of the supplies had been used up, Rook had cleared a large area in one to make a nice secure shelter for Sadie and her litter. He peered in. Sadie greeted him with a soft woof. Squeals of protest followed when she stood and came to him, eager for an ear rub. Absently, he petted her, his gaze searching the interior of the wagon. No Lara.
“Go back to your babies, Mama,” he told the dog then strode over to Rook. In a low voice, he asked the old cook if he’d seen Lara.
“Ain’t seen the little lass since earlier, when I gave her another wooden toy.”
“What’s wrong?” Sofia joined them, her dark eyes going from James to Rook.
Realizing that it would be dark soon, James stuck his fingers between his lips and gave a shrill whistle, bringing silence to the hired men who were eating. He explained that Lara was missing. “Listen up. I need everyone to spread out, in pairs, and search for Lara Macauley.” He dispatched one man to go fetch Wolf, while he organized the Svenssons along with Dante and Elliot. The first two had rushed over when they’d heard the commotion.
When he’d done all he could, James led Eirica back to her wagon and her waiting children. She grabbed his arm and stared up at him with stricken eyes. “Oh, James, I wasn’t paying close enough attention. I lost my daughter.”
“No. You can’t blame yourself. As you said, Lara never wanders off.”
Summer’s cry interrupted him. Coralie walked up to Eirica with the fussing baby. “I’m sorry, Eirica, but I think she’s hungry.”
James took the infant and handed her to Eirica. Then he tipped her chin up and stared into her eyes. “I’ll go look for Lara.”
Eirica gently rocked the crying baby in her arms. “James, what if—”
“No. Don’t say it. We’ll find her.”
Tears fell from Eirica’s eyes. “I should go with you.”
“No, you have other children who need their mama. Besides, if Lara comes back or someone finds her and brings her to the camp, you need to be here.” Summer’s wails grew as Eirica unfastened her blouse and shielded her nudity with the baby’s blanket. The baby stopped crying as soon as Eirica gave her what she needed.
Alison ran up to them just as James turned to go. “Ma! James! I found Lara’s blankie in the dirt. She must’ve dropped it and now it’s real dirty.”
Both adults glanced down at the little girl. In her hands, she held a small filthy blanket with a large footprint ground into it.
Eirica tightened her hold on her baby as she and James exchanged glances. Both knew if Lara had wandered off, she’d have taken that small security blanket with her.
“Find her, James. Find my little girt.”
James reached down and kissed her, then bent to hug Alison. “I’ll find her.”
Moving among wagons and tents, Birk pushed a handcart, with a hastily made cover stretched across it, over the rough ground. A high-pitched whimper from inside made him stop. He peeled open the cover and glared inside at the tear-streaked face of his daughter.
“Not a sound, Lara girl, or else. Ya hear me?” He held his fist in front of her face.
The whimpering stopped. Lara sucked harder on her thumb and stared at him with wide, frightened eyes. Satisfied that she’d do as she was told, Birk replaced the cover and continued on. What a stroke of luck. Of all his brats, she was the only one he could count on to obey him. She’d always been afraid of him.
He pushed the cart, his steps hurried. Curses followed in his wake as he shoved past anyone in his way. Finally, he reached the sheltering outcrop of rock where Zeb waited.
“Where ya been?”
Birk snickered and whipped the top off the cart, revealing his frightened child.
“Dammit man, what the hell are you doin’?”
Birk reached in, grabbed Lara and pulled her out. “This here’s one of my brats, ain’t ya, Lara girl?”
Lara shrank from his hold, but Birk pulled her close, kneeling down beside her. “I got a use fer her.”
Zeb ran his fingers through his matted beard. “Man, they’s gonna be lookin’ fer her.”
“Yeah, that’s the plan.” Using his knife, he cut several curls of her hair and a wide swath of fabric from her skirts, then took her shoes, a tiny pair of moccasins.
Beside him, Zeb paced. The two horses they’d stolen grazed nearby. “We can’t take a kid with us. People will see and be suspicious.”
Tucking away one of the curly tresses, the fabric and the shoes, Birk stood, handing Zeb the second lock of hair. “Oh, we ain’t keepin’ her.” He removed a medallion from around his neck, the one his ma had given him and made him wear. The woman had been so religious, so fanatic in her beliefs, she’d made his life a living hell with her insistence that he ask forgiveness for his sins, real or imagined. He’d endured her beatings, believing he had to pay for his misdeeds. Now others would pay.
He placed the chain around Lara’s neck. “Ya leaves that on, Lara girl.”
He turned to Zeb. “That bitch is gonna know I’s here, that I’s watchin’ her whorin’ ways. Law says she belongs to me, and she might as well know I can come after her or them brats anytime I wants.”
“I thought tha plan was ta wait till Oregon.”
“Still is. But no harm in lettin’ her know jest where she stands. I seen her and that bastard kissin’.” Birk’s hands clenched into two tight fists. “He’ll die fer touchin’ her.”
Inside, Birk burned every time he thought of Eirica with that Jones man. What really riled him was watching that damn Jones bastard act as if he had a right to be with
his
children. Well, Birk had news for the pair of them. The bitch was still his. Them brats was his. It was time both of them knew she still belonged to him.
Putting Lara back inside the handcart, he gave Zeb instructions as to what to do with the lock of hair.
“Meet me back ’ere, then,” Birk ordered. “And be ready to ride.”
Eirica knew James was right. Someone had to stay at the campsite while others were off looking for her daughter, but she hated feeling helpless. “Oh, Lara girl, where are you?” Fear made her feet feel like lead. The sight of that dirty blanket Lara never let go of, except when Eirica insisted on washing it, deepened her apprehension. As she nursed Summer, her gaze searched the landscape, desperately seeking her daughter.
Suddenly, it was there, that odd sensation of an unseen watcher. Shivering, she turned in a slow circle, her gaze roaming over men and women taking advantage of the fading daylight. Over the last few weeks, usually in the evenings, this same feeling had come and gone at odd moments, and yet she’d never found anyone suspicious looking her way.
She shook off the eerie feeling, putting tonight’s episode down to her frazzled nerves. Over and over, she prayed for Lara’s safe return. When Summer finished nursing, Eirica rubbed her tiny back. After a satisfying burp, she laid Summer down in the wooden crate she’d padded, making it into a makeshift bed. Picking it up, she took the infant into the tent, out of the cooling night air. Then she cleaned up Ian, who was nearly asleep, and put him to bed.
Alison was still staring at her plate, her food untouched when Eirica returned. Eirica knew her eldest child was remembering her own ordeal of being kidnapped a few months ago. She bent down and pulled Alison into her arms. “We’ll find Lara, sweetheart. How about helping me by picking up the toys?”
“Yes, Mama.” Alison went to do her bidding, her steps slow and dragging.
Feeling a cold chill slide through her, Eirica went into the tent to fetch her shawl. Alison entered a few minutes later with her skirt bunched in her arms, the wooden toys from Rook neatly gathered there. She dumped them in one corner of the tent, then sat, her gaze wide and worried. “James will find Lara, Mama. He found me.” Her voice shook and her lower lip trembled. Tears followed.
Eirica knew her daughter’s words stemmed from a desperate need to believe that James would make her world right again. Wiping the silent tears from her daughter’s face, she smoothed tangled strands of hair from Alison’s face then gathered the child close, searching for the words to reassure her. Eirica knew she had to be strong, had to reassure her daughter, but what could she say?
Alison pulled away. “Maybe bad people got Lara like they got me and Jessie.” Her blue eyes were wide, her chin trembling.
Eirica’s composure nearly broke. It went against her grain to give her daughter false hope, but hope was all that kept Eirica from becoming hysterical. “Let’s not think bad things. Lara probably just wandered off and got lost like Ian did a few weeks ago. Now, let’s get you into bed, sweetheart.”
Alison sniffed, but let Eirica remove her dress and wipe her face and hands with the wet cloth she had brought to clean the worst of the dirt from Ian.
With Alison laying silent in her bed, Eirica fled outside, afraid she’d break down in front of the child. She didn’t want to scare her eldest, yet she couldn’t hold her own tears at bay any longer. Alone in the growing darkness, Eirica paced outside her tent, trying to penetrate the gloom covering the land, searching for one small little girl.
James will find her.
She found herself clinging to the same hope as her daughter. Trying to keep busy, to keep her mind off the unthinkable, Eirica loaded her food back into the wagon. Bending down, she reached for a sack of beans and froze. On top of the tied-off bag lay a small lock of golden-red curls. Prickles of unease skittered up her spine and the back of her hand flew to her mouth. It looked like some of Lara’s hair. She picked it up, rubbed the soft strands between her fingers, then clenched the lock in her fist.
Her heart thumped hard in her chest. How did this get here? More importantly, who’d put it there? Moving away from the wagon, away from her camp, Eirica felt totally confused and frightened. What should she do? Where was James? She needed to show him her find.
Frantically, her gaze roamed the area behind her wagon, toward the river, moving outward, looking for something, anything out of kilter. But everything looked normal. There were many families she knew, many she didn’t. Men and women walked back and forth from the river, some with dishes, others with pots heavy with water. She tracked one couple back to their wagon.
A short, stocky man tore around a wagon and shoved past them, knocking the woman over. The couple’s angry shouts made Eirica shake her head. Some folk were so rude. Suddenly, something about the man who’d hurried by penetrated the fog of fear holding her in its grip. Scanning, she spotted him just before he disappeared between two more wagons. If she hadn’t known better, she’d have thought it was Birk, but that was impossible. Not only was Birk dead, this man’s figure wasn’t as heavy as Birk had been.
Her gaze went from the lock of hair clutched in her hand back to where the man had disappeared. He was gone. “Now you’re seeing ghosts,” she chided herself, yet she couldn’t shake the notion that something was terribly wrong. He’d moved like her husband, certainly. And it was just like Birk to shove his way past anyone who dared to be in his way.
Suddenly, Eirica had to know. Though she told herself she was being silly, overreacting, she flagged down Catarina and Marco and asked them to stay with her children. Holding her skirts above her ankles, Eirica ran, searching among the crowded campers for the man who brought back memories that caused her whole being to tremble with terror.
“Lara!” Over and over, James called the little girl’s name. He stopped everyone he came across and described the little girl, but no one had seen her. On he went, calling her name, asking questions. As the light faded, his fear grew. Where was she? Surely she hadn’t wandered this far on her own, which pointed to an even worse.
Stopping, he ran his fingers through his hair. Not too many people were moving about now. Most had retired to their tents or were sitting in front of fires. After several more fruitless minutes of searching, he replaced his hat and headed back, following the river. God, he hoped she hadn’t fallen in. He shuddered at the thought.
A short ways from camp, James spotted Eirica running in the direction he’d already searched. He frowned, his gut tightening. He ran after her. “Eirica!”
When she turned and saw him, he feared the worst. Her face was devoid of color, her eyes wide and frightened. He grabbed her shoulders. “What is it? Did you find her?”
“No.” Her voice came out on a long sob. “Someone took her. Someone took my baby. I think it was Birk.”
James folded her into his embrace. “Honey, we don’t know that for sure.” The full impact of her breathless cry hit him. He held her away from him, looking closely at her. Had the strain of the last hour somehow confused her mind? Birk was dead.
“Eirica, sweetheart, Birk can never hurt you or your children again.”
“What if he isn’t dead? What if he didn’t drown? We never found his body. She held up a lock of hair. “I found this, near the wagon. Someone came into my camp while I was in the tent with the children and left this. It’s Lara’s hair.” Her voice broke.
“When I was looking around to see if I could see who’d put it there, I saw him. I saw a man who looked like Birk.”
Stunned, James shook his head. “That’s not possible. He drowned.” James took the lock from her, rubbing the silky softness between his thumb and forefinger, more concerned than ever. “Did you see his face?”
Sobbing, Eirica shook her head. “No. I only saw him from the back. I ran after him but he was gone.” She grabbed ahold of him. “I’m so afraid, James.”
James didn’t know what to think. “Eirica, are you sure this wasn’t there before you noticed Lara missing? Could she or Alison or one of Anne’s daughters have cut her hair?”
“No. It wasn’t there. I’m positive.” She hugged herself. “What am I going to do if Birk has her?” Terror laced her question.
James rubbed the back of his neck. The thought of that man getting ahold of even one of the children horrified him as well, yet he had to hold on to reason. Right now, they didn’t know for sure that the man Eirica saw was actually Birk.
“Calm down, Eirica. Think. There must be hundreds of men out here who look like him from behind.”
Eirica squeezed her eyes shut. “True. But not many are so rude.” She explained the behavior she’d witnessed. “Besides, who else would kidnap her?”
The bleak certainty in her voice chilled him to his soul. He also had to agree the rudeness coupled with kidnapping his own child sounded exactly like something Birk would do. He thought about what Eirica had told him. Something occurred to him. “Eirica, if you saw Birk, that means he didn’t have Lara. She has to be around here somewhere.”
“The river,” Eirica cried. “He was coming from the river.”
In horror, they stared at one each other, then took off running. “God, he wouldn’t hurt her. Oh, please,” Eirica sobbed, stumbling.
James kept ahold of her arm as they made their way back to the river. The sound of frantic barks and howls made them break out into a run. As they drew nearer, they heard the shrill sound of a child’s screams mingling with ferocious barking. Eirica gasped. His pulse quickened.
“Lara. That’s Lara!”
“Don’t get your hopes up, sweetheart.” But James felt hope swell in his own chest. If it was Lara, she had to be alive. “It’s coming from behind those rocks near the river!” Together, they rounded the boulders and stopped behind a group of men and woman gathered before the water, each drawn by the hysterical screams and the barking. Eirica and James shoved their way through. Sitting a foot deep in the water, James saw an abandoned handcart. The screams were coming from inside it.
In front, standing in the shallow water, the white wolf Wahoska stood guard, allowing no one near. His teeth were bared, his fur ruffled and his tail swishing in and out of the water. Deep growls kept the onlookers away.
James ran into the river, reassuring the wolf who stopped barking, but not growling. The two animals ran off when James reached out to tear the cover off the wooden handcart. The sight of Lara, screaming her head off, was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. He spoke softly, his voice hoarse with relief. Gently, he lifted the crying child out. Turning, he handed her to Eirica who waited with arms outstretched. Cheers went up around them, but he barely heard them over the child’s hysteria.
“Lara. My sweet little girl, it’s all right. Everything is all right.” Over and over Eirica murmured her daughter’s name.
Beyond calming, Lara clutched at her mother, her voice growing hoarse from screaming. James put his arm around Eirica and led her back through the crowd. “Come on, Eirica, let’s get her back to camp.”
By the time they reached Eirica’s wagon, Lara’s screams had subsided to choking gasps. James stoked the fire and brought over Eirica’s lard-burning lantern, then he stepped into the tent to grab a quilt. He took a few minutes to reassure Alison that her sister was safe. Then he wrapped the quilt around mother and child and held them both.
Eirica stroked her daughter’s head, examining the girl as best as she could in the firelight. Threading her fingers through Lara’s hair, she felt the blunt ends where Lara’s hair had been sheared short. “Why?” she whispered, holding the strands up. James ran his fingers along hers. “Why did someone cut her hair?”
Unspoken between them lay the fear that somehow Birk had survived and was behind this. “I don’t know, Eirica. I don’t know.” None of it made sense to him.
Finally, the little girl fell into an exhausted sleep. With James assisting, they uncovered her to check for injuries. She seemed unhurt, with no marks or bruises. Eirica frowned. “Her dress has been cut, James. The whole bottom hem is missing and her shoes are gone, the ones that Wolf’s mother and sisters made.” She glanced at him, questions he couldn’t answer lurking in her gaze.
James had never felt so helpless. And he’d often felt that feeling raising his siblings, especially Jessie. He reached around Eirica to finger a gleaming chain peeping through the skewed neckline of Lara’s dress. “What’s
this?
”
“I don’t know.” Soft whimpers from inside the tent warned that Summer was waking.
James carefully lifted the chain from around Lara’s neck and held it up to the lantern. It glittered in the lamplight. He looked to Eirica.
She stared at the round medallion dangling from his fingertips. Eirica’s face lost color, her lips were pinched and she covered her mouth to muffle her startled cry. “Oh, my God,” the words broke off, full of horror. “That looks like—it’s Birk’s—”
“It could be anyone’s, Eirica. Maybe Lara found it.” Even as he said the words, James knew he was wrong. Someone had deliberately put it there.
Her hands shook when she reached for it. Before she touched the chain, she jerked her fingers back as if afraid it would burn her. “No. No. It’s his. The back. Turn it over.”
The front showed the virgin mother Mary with baby Jesus, not something James could imagine Birk wearing, though now that he thought of it, he recalled having seen a gold chain around the man’s neck on several occasions. He just hadn’t paid it much mind. He turned over the gold piece and held it close to the lantern. “Looks like it says Proverbs 13:24.”
“‘He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.’” Eirica recited the verse. She doubled over, nearly crushing Lara in her arms. “God, how many times have I heard him recite that damn verse. Before he beat us—if he wasn’t in an uncontrollable rage—he used to make me, or the children, kiss his belt or the wooden cane, or whatever he’d chosen to use against us. Said his mother had taught him the value of penitence with that verse, that it was his duty to see we paid for our sins.” Her voice broke off on a moan. “No. Oh no, it can’t be him!” She gasped, fighting fear and horror.
James didn’t want to believe it but he held the evidence in his hand. How could Birk be alive? No one could have survived falling into the snow-fed, swollen Platte River where they’d crossed. Disbelief gave way to fury when he thought of what the man had done to his own child and now to Eirica. He shoved aside his own fears, his own pain and worry. First he had to see to Eirica, to Lara, to this family he loved more than life.