White Trash Beautiful (24 page)

The doors finally flew open and I hit a random floor number as Tucker raced toward me. The doors closed between us and I began my descent into my own personal hell.

The doors opened and I walked out onto the third floor on shaky legs. I needed to get away from here. I needed to run away. I staggered down the hall as the elevator opened again and Tucker raced up behind me.

“Cass! Cass! Don’t do this. I wouldn’t hurt you.” He reached my side and placed his hand on the small of my back.

“Too late,” I sobbed, and pulled away from his touch.

He stepped in front of me and wrapped his arms around me. “Please let me explain.”

“Explain? I think I know what I saw. No excuse will ever make that go away. Oh my God. Was it her voice I heard on the phone
that day? Jesus, it all makes sense now. Was this all just a game to you? Am I really
that stupid
?” I shoved his body back from mine as hard as I could.

“No! Sweetheart, I didn’t lie to you.”

“I’m not your fucking sweetheart! You know, I thought it was impossible to hurt worse than when Jax hit me, but I was wrong. None of that compares to the pain in my heart right now. I
trusted
you!” The elevator door behind me reopened and I bolted for it, hitting the button repeatedly. The doors began to close as I stared back into Tucker’s tear-filled eyes. I sank to the floor of the elevator and wrapped my hands around my knees.

I hadn’t known that I could ever hurt this much. I would take whatever punishment Jax had for me any day over this feeling.

The doors opened and I pushed to my feet, staggering out into the lobby full of people oblivious of my inner turmoil. I made my way through the throngs.

“He will never love you like he loves me, Trash,” the voice of a female whispered in my ear from behind.

I froze in my tracks.

“Sweetheart!” Tucker’s voice called from behind us.

“Right here, baby,” the brown-headed bitch replied. I was tired of running from my problems, from people getting joy out of sucking the happiness out of me. It was time to fight for myself for once, figuratively and . . .

I spun around with my fist cocked back. It connected with her cheek and sent her head whipping back, brown hair flying into my face. Her hand shot up to grab her face in shock as her mouth fell open. I grabbed my fist in my other hand as pain throbbed through it.

“Security!” a man yelled from behind the reception desk.

“He was talking to
me,
” I spat angrily.

Tucker’s lips curved into a cocky smile as he made his way in front of me. I pushed by him back toward the elevator. He followed, not bothering to even glance at the woman I’d smacked.

He stood by my side, reaching out to hit the button for his room. “That was my ex. That was Cadence.”

“I don’t care.” I folded my arms over my chest and tried to ignore the new wave of nausea that had overtaken me.

“Judging by the way you sucker-punched her, I’d say you care a lot, and I owe you an explanation.” I didn’t respond so he went on, “Cadence went to rehab, but I wouldn’t take her back. I couldn’t. Every few months she shows up and tries to change my mind. Sometimes I fall back into her trap. Everything goes well for a few weeks before she relapses. Living this kind of lifestyle isn’t for everyone. I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry you had to see that.”

I turned to look up at his face. “Did you? Did you change your mind?”

He cupped my face with both of his hands. “Never. You are all I want, Cass. I feel like I have been waiting my whole life for you, and I will wait longer if that’s what you need, but I am not going anywhere.”

I stared into his eyes, desperately confused and overwhelmed. I needed to get off this roller coaster I’d been on since the day I’d met Tucker and land on solid ground. Could I trust him? Suddenly, another realization dawned on me. “She’s the one selling your story to the magazines.”

“So you do read them?” He smirked.

“No. I’ve only read the one Dorris left in the diner for me.”

His eyes narrowed and I knew I’d said more than I should have.

“When did Dorris come to the diner?”

“Don’t worry about it, Tucker. I think she was just worried for you. She was just trying to scare me off.”

He clenched his jaw and didn’t respond. I knew I had just caused a new rift between him and his adoptive mother.

The doors opened into his room and I stepped out in front of him, waiting for him to follow.

He did, grabbing my elbow and turning me, pulling me to him. “She has no say in what happens between us, I promise you.”

I pressed my face against his chest and listened to his heart beating rapidly under my cheek. His chin rested on top of my head. I wasn’t sure he would still feel the same way once he saw the results of the pregnancy tests, but I was ready to find out. If he wanted me gone, it was better to know now.

I
TOOK THE TEST.”
I stepped back and turned toward the bedroom. I felt as if I were walking to my death sentence.

“I didn’t want you to go through that alone. I’m sorry.” He slowly guided me to the bedroom and waited by the bathroom door.

I slipped out from under his arm and took a deep breath. This was it. I grabbed a test and held it out to him. “I’m pregnant.”

He looked down at the test and back to me twice before he scooped me up in his arms and lifted me from the ground into a hug.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, sweetheart, I’m not mad. How could I be? But . . . I am scared.”

“I’m scared, too.” I buried my face in his neck and inhaled his scent.

“It doesn’t matter if . . .” He was lost for words. “It doesn’t matter to me if it’s not mine. It will be
mine.
This is
our
baby, Cass. You don’t need to worry.” He slowly lowered me until my toes touched the ground. My heart swelled. I couldn’t imagine the amount of responsibility this man was willing to take on for me.

“It’s been a long time, Tucker. This baby could be no one else’s.”

His lips found mine hard. His hands slid down my spine, coming to rest at the top of my shorts. I bowed my body toward him, unable to get close enough. I traced his upper lip with my tongue and he groaned into my mouth as he turned us toward the bed. I felt the mattress against my legs and slid myself back onto it without pulling my mouth from Tucker’s. He crawled over me, kissing me hungrily as his body came to rest between my thighs.

My hands felt for the edge of his shirt, pulling it up so I could run my nails up his back. He pushed his hips into mine, and I moaned against his tongue. The phone beside us began to ring. Tucker ignored it, slipping his hand under my tank top and cupping my breast. I arched into his hand. The phone continued to ring.

“Fuck,” Tucker growled as he pulled his mouth from mine and rested his head against my cheek as we caught our breath. “I have to get that.”

I nodded even though I was disappointed.

He reached over our heads and grabbed the receiver. “Yeah?”

The length of him still pressed firmly against me. He sighed loudly and climbed off my body to sit on the edge of the bed, his free hand running through his hair. I rolled to my side and laid my head on my arm as I stared at his muscular back.

“Fine. Come up.” He slammed the phone down and turned back to face me. He ran his finger along my jaw. “That was Dorris. She’s on her way up.” I could tell by his tone he was not happy.

I pushed myself up and crawled onto his lap. I knew this was going to be bad. The woman hated me as it was. She was going to go ballistic when she found out about the pregnancy.

The elevator opened and in walked Dorris. She spotted Tucker and me on the bed and didn’t look surprised. “Why did you change your room, and what the hell was with that circus act in the lobby? Do you have any idea the hoops I’m going to have to jump
through to fix this?” Her eyes shot to me and went immediately back to Tucker.

“Needed more space.” He shrugged.

“Tucker, are you going to make it to the concert tonight?”

He eyes flicked back to me. “Of course.” His arms tightened around me. “Afterward, I have to take Cass back home.”

My heart sank. I wasn’t ready to leave him.

I started to pull away from him, but his grip tightened and he placed a quick kiss to my forehead. “We have to get a few of her things.”

My heart leapt back into my throat. Get my things? Was he going to take me with him? I couldn’t just leave my mother and tour the country. Not with a baby. Not after what had happened to his last girlfriend. I thought of the brunette down in the lobby with her hands all over him and felt as if I were going to be sick again.

“Get her things?” Dorris looked down at the floor in front of her and narrowed her eyes.

I pulled from Tucker’s arms just as she bent down and picked up the small white stick in her hand. Her eyes grew wide as saucers as she read
pregnant
on the front of the test.

“Take care of this, Tucker.” Her teeth were grinding as she spoke.

He replied, “I’m not going to—”

Dorris waved her hand. “Take care of
this.
Get rid of it.” She looked me up and down as if she were disgusted. I slid off his lap and sat next to him. “You’ve worked too hard. The band has worked too hard for you to ruin it over some . . . some fling.” She turned and stormed out into the living room.

“Get rid of it? Do you even hear what you’re saying?” He pushed from the bed and stood in front of her.

“You don’t need to deal with this.” She placed her hand on his arm.

He shrugged her away. “Like my parents didn’t deal with me?
You want me to just throw away my kid? I guess I can just pick one up later down the road like you did.”

“That’s not fair, Tucker. Like it or not, I am your mother, and I only have your best interests in mind.” She threw her hands in the air and stormed off toward the elevator.

“I know what I’m doing,” Tucker called after her.

She didn’t respond. The elevator doors opened and she stepped inside, glaring at Tucker as the doors slid closed.

He squeezed me against his chest and rocked me slowly. “I’m not going to abandon you. I won’t. I don’t give a damn what she thinks.”

I nodded, but I knew that it wasn’t true. Tucker had a future, and I would never forgive myself if he lost it because of me. I placed my hand down to my stomach. It was too late for all of that. I had already destroyed his future. His hand slid over mine.

“I promise,” he said.

I let him hold me for a few more minutes before sliding off his lap. “You have a concert to get ready for.” I smiled down at him as he leaned down and placed a kiss on my stomach.

“Let’s go take our baby to its first concert.” He stood up and made his way to the bathroom to get himself ready.

I sank back down on the mattress and let my head fall into my hands, overwhelmed.

Tucker came out of the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth and leaned against the doorframe. “It’s going to be okay.” He cocked his head to the side.

“I know,” I sighed.

He flashed me a big smile and slipped back into the bathroom to finish up.

“Tucker?”

He leaned back so I could see him through the bathroom doorway.

“What did you mean about going to get some of my stuff? Are you taking me on tour with you?” I was nervous.

He gave me an odd look and spit into the sink before answering. “That wouldn’t really be a good idea for a baby.” He turned on the water and rinsed out his mouth. My heart sank again. Could he not just tell me everything he was thinking? The water shut back off and Tucker came out of the bathroom and knelt down in front of me. He lifted my chin with his fingers so I would look him in the eye.

“I don’t want our baby growing up on a tour bus. I want us to have a home. I want to make a home for us. You and me. Together.”

I practically flew into his arms and wrapped my own around his neck. I’d never felt so cared for, so . . . loved. Could this really be happening? It was overwhelming after the day I’d had.

“Now let’s go. I need to put on a kick-ass show.”

I gave him a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. “Let’s go, rock star.”

Tucker pulled me from the bed and wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked to the elevator. The day couldn’t have gone any better considering all of the things that had happened, but I was still worried about Tucker. I couldn’t be responsible for destroying his dreams and his relationship with Dorris. There was also the nagging question of whether we would ever have taken a big step like this if I weren’t pregnant. Was I forcing him into this? Was he committing to me out of a sense of chivalry, or did he really want to make a life with me?

We stepped inside the elevator to leave. I wrapped my arms around Tucker’s waist from the side and squeezed him closer to me. I was terrified of what the rest of the night would bring, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I was going to watch Tucker perform and I couldn’t wait.

We slipped out of the back entrance of the lobby and hopped on Tucker’s motorcycle.

“I guess we’ll need something more practical soon,” he said over his shoulder. I hugged him tightly as his bike roared to life and we shot out onto the main highway on the island.

I closed my eyes and pressed my face into Tucker’s back. I didn’t want to forget this moment. I felt hopeful and wanted to hang on to that feeling for as long as possible. I thought over all of the time I had spent with Tucker. I’d taken a lot of chances to be with him, and now he was taking a big chance on me. The idea of starting a family terrified me. I hadn’t had a good home life since my dad left, so I had never wanted a family of my own. I didn’t think I could ever create a happy home for a child given that I could barely provide one for myself.

The bike slowed and veered to the left, pulling onto a small back road that was lined by trees and large beach houses. We wove down a few more streets and through a small park with tennis courts and a large, hidden soccer field.

Tucker pulled up next to a small building and backed his bike into a parking spot before shutting off the engine.