Authors: Trish Milburn
Days have never crawled by so slowly, not even the ones leading up to when I made my frightening escape from Miami. But then I hadn’t been in close proximity to something I wanted so badly but couldn’t have.
I stare at Keller as he maneuvers up and over the rock-climbing wall during P.E. It’s day three of him passing me in the halls and ignoring my very existence—when he’s not looking at me with suspicion. Each time he does either, he shaves a little more off my heart. Why did I allow myself to get so attached to him?
I want to be a strong, independent woman and say, “Screw him. Who needs him anyway?” But I can’t, at least not now when it hurts so much just to look at him and not have him look back. I fluctuate between angry and sad and thinking he might be making the right choice by staying away from me. It doesn’t matter if you live within witch society or outside of it, being a teenager is still damn hard work.
“Looks like flavor of the month didn’t even last a week,” Stacy says close to my ear.
The darkness rumbles deep inside me, wanting to lash out, but I can’t summon the energy to even respond to Stacy. I just look away, away from this mean girl who likes to hurt, and away from the one and only guy I’ve ever thought I might love. But do I really know what love feels like? I’ve had so little practice.
With a laugh, Stacy leaves me alone.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her sashay toward the climbing wall, right up to Keller’s side. She makes a show of rubbing her hand down his arm, pausing to squeeze his bicep. Keller doesn’t encourage her, but he doesn’t push her away either.
My heart is going to crack. Oh, how I want to run and keep running until I can’t even remember Keller Dawes. I glance at him and blink against tears. As if forgetting him is even remotely possible.
“Jax, your turn,” Coach says.
I bat back the tears, determined to get on with the business of living and stop wallowing. This wasn’t what I fled my coven to feel. I want happiness and freedom, and this isn’t it.
Being upset just adds to my sports-related clumsiness, and I slip on the wall three times. By the time I finally scramble over the top, I have a scraped knee and a tweaked ankle. Thank goodness, I heal quickly.
At least from physical injuries.
I ignore the snickers from Stacy and her posse as I retreat to the football field bleachers.
“Hey, you okay?” Eric asks as he sits beside me with worry in his eyes. Gone, however, is the “I’m trying to impress you” look.
“Fine.”
“What’s up with Keller? It looked like you two were having a great time Friday night.”
“Long story.”
“How long can it be? You’ve barely known each other a week.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“Well, I think he’s being an idiot for ignoring you.”
I look over at Eric and give him a weak smile. “Thanks. You’re sweet. Paige is a lucky girl.”
“That she is.”
His teasing pulls an unexpected laugh from me.
He chucks me on the chin with a playful touch. “See? I still got it. Able to draw smiles from even the saddest faces.”
I sober. “I look sad?”
Eric gives me an understanding smile of genuine friendship. “Afraid so, beautiful. And I must say it’s a waste for your face to look sad. I feel like beating the snot out of Keller for causing it.”
“It’s not his fault, not really.” I grab one of Eric’s hands and give him a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, I’m okay. It’ll work out however it’s supposed to.”
He stares into my eyes for a moment. “You’re like one of those people who is way wiser than her age, aren’t you?”
I try to smile again but can’t quite force it. “Far from it.”
With another squeeze of his hand, I stand and limp toward the locker room. At least in the shower, I can be alone with my tears and mournful expressions. Maybe somewhere beneath the water and steam, I’ll figure out a way to pull myself together and get on with my new life. To purge Keller Dawes and crazy attractions from my thoughts.
When the last bell sounds
on Friday afternoon, I snatch up my books and nearly sprint for the door. I want nothing more than to go home and wallow in self-pity all weekend. Because come Monday morning, I’m going to do my best to set the self-pity aside and get on with living. But this weekend is going to be dedicated to buckets of chocolate Haagen-Dazs and reading romance novels where everyone gets their happy ending.
I’m barely outside the classroom door when Toni catches me and slips her arm around mine. “You and I are about to embark on an evening of shopping the likes of which Asheville has never seen.”
“I don’t think so. I have a date with some ice cream and moping.”
“No, I must insist. Shopping for cute clothes, ones that will make certain boys question their sanity, is a proven method of lifting one’s spirits.”
I open my mouth to protest.
Toni wags her finger. “No, no, no. You should have realized by now that resistance is futile when I set my mind to something.”
“What, you’re a
Star Trek
fan now?”
“Nah, not really. Just like that whole ‘resistance is futile’ phrase,” she says, sounding very much like a member of the Borg.
She steers me toward Mrs. Dawes’s English classroom. “Hey, Mom. Jax here is having boy trouble, so I’m stealing her away for a night of drunken debauchery.”
Mrs. Dawes looks up from where she’s grading papers at her desk. “Very funny.”
“Seriously, we’re headed to Asheville for some much-needed retail therapy.”
“Honey, I really don’t like you going that far at night, especially after what happened last week.”
“What are the odds I’ll be held up two weeks in a row?”
“Toni.” Her mother sounds one part frustrated, one part fearful.
“Okay, sorry. Seriously, we’ll be careful. I’ll have my phone on the entire time, except if we go see a movie. If we do, I’ll text you right before we go in and again as soon as we get out. Deal?”
Mrs. Dawes hesitates before exhaling her defeat. “Fine. Just be careful.”
Toni kisses her mom on the cheek. “We will. And I might even do something crazy like buy a dress.” Toni laughs at her mom’s stunned expression as she guides me out of the room.
With Toni driving, we make it to Asheville in under an hour. Then the shopping commences, and Toni takes her “retail therapy” seriously, which is kind of funny considering most of her wardrobe is made up of T-shirts and jeans.
When she leads me into a store filled with frilly and sparkly dresses, I stop dead in the doorway. “You were serious. You’re going to buy a dress.”
“Yes, and so are you, one that will make Keller drown in his own drool.”
“Where are we going to wear these dresses?”
“To homecoming. You know, the big dance all the posters around school are advertising. The one Stacy asked Keller to go to and he turned her down.”
“He did?”
Toni knocks on the side of my skull. “Hello? Anybody in there? Keller doesn’t like Stacy, didn’t like her even before you strolled into our fair school.”
“Call me crazy, but I don’t think Keller likes me anymore either.”
“Crazy.”
I look at Toni, wondering if maybe she’s blind to what I’ve been seeing all week.
Toni crosses her arms and shifts her weight to her right leg. “I admit he’s being a bit frosty right now.”
“Try polar ice cap.”
“Trust me. He’s going to come around.”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.”
Toni sighs. “If he doesn’t, then he’s an idiot, and we’ll find you someone who isn’t.”
I don’t want someone else. Maybe I’m destined to be alone. It makes a cosmic kind of sense. Everyone would be safer that way. To get my mind off Keller, I steer the conversation a different direction. “So, what is homecoming like?”
Toni wraps her arm around mine and leads me into the store. “We go to the football game, hope the team doesn’t get their collective butts kicked up and down the field, and then have a dance in the gym at which I stand on the sidelines and watch all my classmates suck face and make googly-eyes at each other.”
“And you do this why?”
“Because it’s better than listening to my mom bemoaning my lack of a social life.”
“You should go online and see if you can get a date, some hot guy from a different school.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t have desperation written all over it.”
“I just don’t get it,” I say as I follow Toni into the sea of dresses. “You’re very pretty. You should have lots of dates.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t really give off the ‘I’m looking for love’ vibe. I’ve known all the guys in Baker Gap forever. They all think of me as crazy, fun-loving drummer chick. And I don’t do anything to make them think otherwise.”
“Is there someone you like?”
“There are a few guys who are okay, but no one really
. . .
well, no one who makes me feel how Keller makes you feel.”
“Well, if by that you mean crappy, then that’s a good thing.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Toni, you have to let go of the idea of Keller and me.” My heart feels like it’s going to break into two brittle halves just saying the words.
“Have you?”
I stare at a red dress without really seeing it. “I’m trying.”
“Okay, whether or not you and Keller work things out, you’re still going to that dance with me. And we’re going to be the most gorgeous wallflowers a high school dance has ever seen.”
We spend the next half-hour trying on dresses and modeling for each other. When we leave, Toni has an aqua dress sprinkled with clear beading, and I’m the owner of a slim, simple red sheath that Toni promises will make the entire male population of Baker Gap High School drop their mouths when I enter the room. And my bruised feelings kind of like the sound of that.
By the time we’ve hit all the stores Toni deems worthy, we’re both starving.
“Let’s get something to go. I don’t want to be late for the movie.”
“What are we going to see?”
“The Blueridge Cineplex shows older movies for a dollar. They’re showing the second
Underworld
, and there’s nothing like a little Scott Speedman skin to get your mind off my moron of a cousin.”
I laugh, and it feels good. On impulse, I hug Toni. “You’re a good friend. I don’t deserve you.”
Toni returns the hug then steps back. “I am quite a catch, aren’t I?”
I laugh again. “You are indeed. And someday a hunkalicious guy will notice that, too.”
“Hey, if I’m lucky, something otherworldly will happen in the theater and Scott Speedman will look off the screen and pledge his undying love for me.”
Ol’ Scott stays very much in the movie, but he looks quite yummy doing it. For a couple of hours, I can let some of my anxiety float away. As we leave the theater in the midst of a sea of other teenagers, it’s blissfully normal, what I’ve always wanted.
“I think I’m in love,” Toni says dramatically. “That man is hotness personified.”
I know she’s still fantasizing about Scott Speedman. “I think you mean lust.”
“Okay, that’ll work, too.”
We make our way to the car, but as Toni unlocks her door, icy fingers of awareness skitter down my spine. I spin, searching the parking lot for any sign of my family. But
. . .
they aren’t there. I don’t sense any witch power at all. Still, there’s
. . .
something.”
“Jax, what is it?” Toni’s voice sounds abnormally serious.
“Uh, nothing. Guess I spooked myself.”
“You’re sure?”
I scan the entire area surrounding us again. Nothing. “Yeah. Let’s just go, okay?”
Even though I don’t sense any of my family, I can’t get rid of the feeling that someone had been watching us in that parking lot. During the entire drive back to Baker Gap, two questions circle through my head.
Who?