Who He Is (FireNine, book 1) (27 page)

Gage finally made the first move. His
actions were deliberate, but he was going for it. He cupped my face, taking the soap out of my hand, placing it down, and then pulling my lips to his and kissing me fiercely.

I drowned in his touch, my body sinking against his firm upper half. He swallowed my moans and his tongue ran over and slipped beneath
mine. His panting increased, his whole body turned rigid. He then picked me up and I had no problem wrapping my legs around him. My back pressed against the cool shower wall, but our lips never parted.

Groaning, his head moved down and he licked the droplets off my neck. He kissed and sucked on me tenderly, his arousal digging into me.
He was so close to my entrance that it frightened me yet turned me on at the same time. I wanted it more than I realized. My body was yearning, craving for him to just take me there. There’d been so much sexual tension between us that it was starting to kill me. It wasn’t my fault, either. It was always Gage. He always held off whenever we would get too close to having sex. He was the one who always pulled away, knowing I wouldn’t mind it. I would never question it and he would never explain it. Instead, he would do something else like take me out,
eat
me out, or cuddle with me until I would stop thinking about it.

This time I felt more than ready for it and he had no excuse.

“Gage… please,” I begged into his ear, my voice raspy.

He tensed, his
whole body stilling against mine. He pulled back a little, his lips leaving my neck so he could get a look into my eyes. I spotted the uneasiness behind them. What was so wrong with taking my virginity? Why was he feeling so guilty about it? We had to get it over with anyway. Why not hurry and do it?

“Eliza…” He shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

His head lowered shamefully. Water
splattered on us, some catching on his long eyelashes that were touching his cheekbones. “Is this really what you want? For
me
to take it?”

I nodded quickly. I couldn’t think of anyone else I wanted to have it.
“You told me to wait for the right time, Gage.” I kissed his cheek and then cupped his jawline, lifting his head to meet his eyes. “This feels like the right time.”

He stared into my eyes briefly. His were wide, taken off guard for just a moment, but then he
grunted and moved in rapidly, his lips crushing mine as he turned around. His hand left my waist to shut off the water and he slid the shower door open, stepping out with me still bound around him. He stumbled toward the bedroom and luckily we didn’t slip and fall on the bathroom floor because we were dripping wet.

His bed came into view and he laid me down. The lights were off, but the moon filtered in from the window above us. With the bus in motion, it made my head swim a little bit more.
From the moonlight, Gage’s features turned harder than steel. He slid me toward the top of the bed, and I rested my head on the pillows that smelled just like him.

He swallowed noisily
, staring at me as I lay naked before him. I was slightly embarrassed, but with the alcohol still penetrating through my system, I couldn’t look away. I didn’t care, especially as he moved up, dividing my legs with his knee. He breathed onto me and I shuddered delightfully from the warmth against my slick skin. He climbed between my legs, his lips hovering above mine. I swallowed slowly, staring into the pool of hazel drinking me in.

“I don’t wanna
hurt you, Eliza,” Gage whispered.

I craned my arms around his neck, refusing him to move away. “You won’t, Gage. I know hurting me isn’t your intention.”

He blinked quickly, still looking into my eyes. He didn’t speak again. Instead, he devoured my lips and glided his tongue into my mouth. His hands snuck down to my waist and his cock pressed even harder against me. I moaned into his mouth, ready for him to just take me. One of his hands left my waist to reach into the nightstand beside his bed. I didn’t open my eyes. I was too indulged in the kiss. He was multitasking and, damn it, he was good at it.

The crinkling of plastic filled the silence and Gage moved back a little, his lips leaving mine briefly as he looked down. When he was finished, he looked into my eyes and pulled my hips
into his, forcing me to wrap my legs around him. “Are you sure?” he whispered, kissing my jawline. His kisses moved up to the lobe of my ear and I nodded as he throbbed against me. Apparently I wasn’t the only one ready. “I’ll be as gentle as I can,” he whispered.

I froze as he said that, realizing this was my virginity he was taking. He was about to deflower me and make me into a real woman. With that there was pain and I wasn’t too fond of pain. But, then again, I’d dealt with so much before that pain had become just a word to me. I’d overcome it all and this had to be nothing compared to what I’d gone through.

I nodded slowly, squeezing my arms around his neck. He stared down at me, his eyes concrete. As he stuck the tip inside me, I gasped and he paused. I shook my head at him, squeezing my arms around him tighter. “It’s okay,” I whispered.

“Are you sure? Am I… am I
hurting
you?”

“No.”

He took a deep, rigid breath and then placed his lips on mine to most likely calm me down and loosen me up. The tip pressed into my entrance again and I hissed through my teeth, my fingernails biting into his skin. I refused for him to stop again. It’s what I wanted it and I wanted to make it as unproblematic as possible for him, even if I was accepting all the pain.

I looked up slowly and he watched every emotion taking hold of my face. He slid into me some more, stretching me open, and I sucked
in a breath through my teeth, biting my nails into his back once again. He didn’t wince, but he was about to stop. I shook my head at him. Even though he was large and quite thick, I didn’t want him to stop. We were pretty much there.

“Eliza, if I’m hurting you—”

I brought a hand forward to press my finger against the fold of his lips. “It’s okay, Gage. Keep going.” I smiled as warmly as I could beneath the moonlight and he nodded, his lips pressed. He continued sliding himself into me, watching me wince, blink hard, bite my lower lip, and then look into his eyes until finally the pain was gone. I could finally feel him without any kind of ache or stretching. He was fully inside me and once he noticed, he looked down at me and kissed me.

“Ready?” he whispered against my lips.

I nodded eagerly and his strokes deepened. He placed his face into my neck as he cupped my ass, burying himself within me. I never knew I could feel so pleasured, so excited. My moans grew louder and my fingernails kept clawing into his back. He grunted against my neck, gripping my hips so tightly I thought he was in pain. As he lifted up, I figured maybe he was.

Veins popped out of his neck as he tried to keep himself composed and gentle.
He was holding back on me. I placed my hand on his chest, bringing my other hand up to cup his face. I brought his head down so we were nose-to-nose and whispered, “It’s okay. I can handle it. Let go.”

With those words alone, the intensity grew. I was near
ly screaming as he began beating against me, circling his thumb around my clit, causing me to rise and sink against him. He was creating orgasm after orgasm, wave after wave, and I enjoyed it to the full extent.

His mouth devoured
mine and my fingers ran through his hair, his hands cupping my ass as he slammed into me continuously. The headboard banged against the wall so loud it almost made my moaning and his groaning inaudible.

During the last few seconds, Gage picked up his speed, lifting my hips higher and pounding into me over and over again. I screamed wildly, thrilled but most of all turned on by his blazing eyes watching my every move. Finally, I bucked against him because it was coming. He growled deeply, bending down to bury his face into the crook of my neck. “I’ve wanted this from you for so long, Eliza,” he breathed. “So. Fucking. Long.”

I yelped, the pleasure coursing through me. Heat and pleasure raced between my legs and Gage groaned, allowing me to drench him with the flowing juices. Slamming and shuddering, he grunted some mild profanity as I squealed, pulling him down against me. He quaked a dozen times and within me I felt the heat through his condom. He shuddered again and again until finally his body lacked tension and he collapsed on top of me. We both panted into one another’s ears, letting the silence ride. A few minutes passed and I still didn’t want to move.

That was… amazing. Mind-blowing. Incredible. My first time and it was way better than I’d ever imagined. Un
fortunately, my eyelids started getting droopy and Gage’s breathing evened out. He wasn’t saying a thing, and I knew he was just as worn and tired as I was.

Sometime during our weariness, he’d pulled himself out of me, went to the bathroom to remove his condom, turn off the light, and then came back, pulling the blankets over our still-naked bodies. I didn’t mind the thought of being naked in the same bed as him. He’d just given me that kind of freedom. It was a freedom I enjoyed.
One I wanted to cherish.

Our bodies molded and I placed my arm over his waist, my cheek resting against his
defined chest as I ran my fingers up and down his arm. Our legs were tangled, breaths entwining, as he stroked my cheek, my hair. His steady heartbeat soothed me again and he kissed my forehead before sighing deeply and allowing his head to fall back and his eyes to shut.

This night with Gage had to be one of the best nights we’d shared so far.

It was perfection.

I never wanted
it to end.

I woke up,
still satisfied from the night before. I stretched, gazing up at the ceiling, feeling a slight twinge between my legs. I pulled the covers off to look down. There was some blood on the white sheets and I gasped, thinking maybe there really was a cherry down there.

Shrugging, I
glanced where Gage had been sleeping, noticing his clothes and shoes still on the floor. I heard deep voices chatting a short distance away and figured he was out talking to one of his band brothers.

With a sigh, I hopped from the bed and grabbed the change of clothes I’d packed into a smaller bag. After taking a quick and thorough shower, I pulled my hair up into a tight ponytail and stared at Gage’s messy sheets with my hand on my hip.

I couldn’t leave them there and I definitely didn’t want the blood to be a reminder to him of what he’d just taken. I wanted it to seem like casual, meaningless sex so I pulled the blankets off the bed. I took the sheets off and tossed everything into a corner before going for his closet and finding new bedding.

After making the bed, fluffing the pillows, and tossing the ruined sheets beside my bag, I slid my toes around the thongs of my flip-flops and opened the door. I inhaled deeply, the thick, rich aroma of coffee lingering in the air.

As I stepped around the corner, Gage and Roy were sitting at the table with pens in hand. Gage heard me and looked up quickly, a warm smile on his lips. Thank goodness he wasn’t making things awkward for me. I told him over and over again during the middle of the night that it was only my virginity. It wasn’t like he’d snatched it away from me. I wanted it to happen between us. I didn’t mind it and if I weren’t ready, I wouldn’t have given it up. He finally became satisfied with my response and went back to sleep again.

“Good morning,” I breathed
, heading for the kitchen and rinsing out one of the mugs in the sink. It reeked of beer so I added soap to make sure it was thoroughly cleansed. Gage said good morning and Roy did as well, but his voice was barely a whisper and his eyes never left his paper.

Finding it odd, I kept my gaze on him for a brief second before
grabbing the mug of coffee. I poured some into my cup, added crème, sugar, and then slid into the booth beside Gage. I kissed his cheek and he returned the kiss, but Roy stiffened, pulling his cup toward him and then picking it up to take a sip.

I brushed that off as well. I knew I would never figure Roy out, so I sipped my coffee w
hile the boys continued writing. “Working on lyrics?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Gage sighed. “It’s best to work on them early when the animals like Montana and Deed are sleeping.” He winked.

I nodded, sipping on my coffee again. I took a glance down at Gage’s paper, spotting words like, “
pain
,
misery
,
it’s all over
,
never look back
, and
newfound addiction.
” At the sight of
newfound addiction,
I looked up at him, but he sniffed and ran the back of his hand across his nose.
He isn’t talking about me,
I thought to myself.
They’re just lyrics anyway.

I took a glance
in Roy’s direction but wasn’t allowed enough time to see anything because he snatched up his paper. I looked into his eyes quickly, but his were dark, cold. His eyebrows knitted as he looked me over and then, picking up his coffee and still glaring at me, he turned to go for the living room. Gage didn’t seem to think much of it, but I was pretty offended by his behavior. What had I ever done to make him hate me so much? I’d barely said two words to Roy and he was acting like I kneed him in the balls.

“Don’t take it personally,”
Gage murmured into my ear, watching Roy sit on the sofa with his back facing us.

“What’s wrong with him?” I whispered, hoping Roy couldn’t hear me.

“He’s just… not used to you being around us so much.”

“And he hates me because I’m around you guys?” I frowned.

“He just has to warm up to you. That’s all. He doesn’t trust easily. He’s very conservative.”

“Yeah, I can see that,
” I scoffed, taking a look at Roy who was scribbling madly on his notepad.

Gage’s hand ran over my thigh, stealing away my thoughts. I looked at him beneath my eyelashes and he smiled, gripping my hand. “Did I… um… hurt you last night? If so, I’m sorry. I’ve never—”

“No, Gage. I’m fine.
It was good.” I gave him a sweet smile and he nodded, tightening his grip around my hand. “Why were you so worried, anyway?”

He shrugged, pulling his hand away to pick up his pen again. He grabbed his coffee to sip it and then placed his mug down, his jaw ticking. “I don’t know. Just not used to it I guess.” He forced a smile, but I frowned, fixing my lips to speak. There was more to it than that. Unfortunately, before I could speak on it, Montana let out an ex
aggerated yawn from the hallway. We both looked up at him as he came walking in, scratching his bare chest.

Montana had a dragon on his ribs, too, but unlike Gage’s blue and black one, his was red and black. The dragons were almost identical and I couldn’t help but question it. “Did you two get the dragon tattoos together?” I asked.

Montana smirked as he stepped into the kitchen and pulled out the jug of milk. He drank straight from it and my nose crinkled while my mind made a mental note to never drink milk from the boys’ bus. “We all have one,” Gage said.

My eyebrows rose and my curiosity piqued. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Montana sighed, sitting across from me. “Mine is red and black, Gage got black and blue, Deed has green and black, and Roy over there has orange and black. It was a… drunk and crazy night. It was kind of like a band bonding thing.”

“Oh.” I grinned. That was kind of cute to hear. “Why dragons, though?”

“For one, dragons are the realest mythical creatures known to man,” Montana said matter-of-factly. I smirked, pursing my lips at him with high amusement. “Plus, they aren’t just ordinary dragons. They’re
Chinese
dragons. Their meaning of the dragon is something much greater.” I took a glance at Montana’s ribs again, studying the graphics—the pointy tongue, fierce red eyes, extremely sharp teeth. I then thought back on how Gage’s dragon looked. They did seem more Chinese than anything.

“Like happiness, immortality, the ability to ward off evil spirits,” Gage added on. “We want all the luck we can get as a band and since Roy over there is a bit obsessed with them,”—Roy grunted, shrugging—“we figured we could just go for it. So far we’ve been doing great. We’re all still happy, and by immortality, we mean that even if we are to split up or even die, we want the name of our band to live on—kind of like The Beatles or The Rolling Stones.”

“Hmm.” I nodded. “Cool. I never would have thought of that.”

“See,” Montana said, leaning back in hi
s seat. “We aren’t total dicks. We can still be on the caring side.”

“You’re all complete dicks.” I laughed and f
or some reason, Roy laughed with me. I looked in his direction, but his back was still turned to us.

“Speaking of caring, I heard how well Gage took care of
you
last night.” Montana burst out laughing while my heart skipped a beat, my eyes expanding. “Headboard and all.” He laughed even harder and I turned crimson, stealing a glance at Gage, whose smile was amused. Of course he was used to being heard so he thought nothing of it, but since it was my first time, it made me squirm. Gage placed a hand on my thigh and I picked up my coffee, taking a huge swallow. I couldn’t have been that loud… at least I hoped not.

“The bus is supposed to stop in a few minutes.” Deed’s deep voice came out of nowhere. He was no longer wearing his sunglasses, but I could see the hint of color beneath his eye. One would mistake it for a lack of sleep since there was bruising beneath both eyes, but I knew why it was really there.

“Okay?” Montana said, glancing over his shoulder with a slight frown.

“We have to be there early today.”

Montana dropped his hands on the table, causing it to rattle. “Dude, what the fuck is up with you?” he asked, his eyebrows drawing in. “You’ve been acting like a bitch ever since the night you were late to the show.”

Deed
stepped into the kitchen and leaned his lower back against the counter, swinging his gaze from Montana to me. “I’m just saying. This time we can’t be late, meaning the
visitors
should get going.” I cringed inwardly, offended by Deed’s menacing tone.

Gage stiffened at my side, taking in Deed’s sullen mood. “Deed,” he said, sliding away from me to stand to his feet. “Let’s talk.
Now
.” Gage cocked his head to his left and led the way down the hallway. I frowned, watching as Gage stole a quick glance over his shoulder at me, his eyes begging me not to get offended, before disappearing down the hallway.

The door shut behind them and not long after, there was yelling and grunting. Roy dropped his notepad in a flash and dashed down the hallway, and Montana hissed, “Oh shit,” before following after him.

I jolted, placing my mug of coffee down and scurrying around the table to follow after as well, but at the sight of Gage pinning Deed down by the throat, I wished I hadn’t. Anger was written all over Gage’s face. His calm demeanor had vanished and turned into rage.

“Gage, chill.” Montana
help up his hands, trying to mediate. “Let him go. Chill.”

Gage pulled away instantly, but I knew it wasn’t because of Montana’s calm voice. It was because I was watching. I knew because he looked straight into my eyes.

Deed sprang from the bed, shoving Gage against his chest with his hands. Gage hardly stumbled. Deed was about to swing, but Montana and Roy ran forward to break it up. Montana held Gage back; Roy held Deed back.

“She’s fucking with the band!” Deed yelled.

I flinched because the only “she” around was me.

“Would you j
ust shut the fuck up?” Gage snarled through his teeth. “The only one fucking with the band is you and your fucking attitude!”

“She’s taking you away from the band, and you know it.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat as Deed pulled away from Roy and stared at me briefly. Behind his grey eyes there was ice and anger. What had I done to him? Why was he so upset with me? Because I’d seen his black eye? Was it that serious? It’s not like I told anyone about it.

“How, Deed?” Gage asked, his voice laced with frustration. “She’s done nothing to you.”

“Way before this tour even started, you told me you were going to be
my
partner and
my
wingman if you needed to be. You were supposed to be behind me, but instead you’re fucking her and taking her out and shit. You’ve completely forgotten about who you’re really supposed to be on this tour with.”

“S
o you’re mad because I’m spending time with her? Deed, you’re a grown fucking man! You don’t need me to have fun all the goddamn time.”

“I’m a grown fucking man, but Bentley’s been riding my ass. Because of you being with her all the time, Bentley’s been—” Deed stopped talking abruptly, noticing he said too much. As he
stopped, Gage’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes softening as if he just now registered the meaning behind Deed’s words. I still had no clue.

Montana released Gage slowl
y, but everyone’s eyes were on him, expecting him to clear the confusion. There was panic behind Gage’s eyes. Panic, worry, a sliver of frustration, and even sympathy.
What the hell just happened?

“Deed… shit, man, I’m so sor
r—”

“I don’t want your fucking apology, Gage. I don’t need it. I see who’s more important to you now, even when you’ve known me for pretty much your whole
fucking life and you’re just now getting to know her. Even when you gave me your fucking
word
.” Deed huffed, grabbing a T-shirt and pulling it over his head. He stormed toward the door and I backed up a little, but not fast enough because he bumped into my shoulder, knocking me back a few steps.

I stared at Deed’s back, my eyes wide with shock. He yanked one of the doors open up front and yelled for the driver to stop. The bus
slowed down as soon as he met the front door, and he swung it open, shielding his eyes from the sun. He stepped down the stairs and out the door as the bus came to a complete stop, the door slamming behind him, causing me to flinch.