Authors: Dr. Mark Mincolla
ERASE AND REPLACE
Over the years, I have done a good bit of corporate wellness and nutritional consulting with Fortune 500 companies, and have administered positive thinking programs that I've documented with noteworthy results. I once instituted an Erase and Replace program. There were two tasks that I asked of subjects in this program. For the first task, I asked hundreds of corporate associates to mindfully tune in to and consciously register all negative inner and outer dialogue. They were instructed to immediately erase all negative dialogue in their mind and replace it with a positive word or phrase. If a friend complained about the snow and cold, I instructed them to tell a white lie. They were told to say to themselves that it was sunny and warm. Remember, it's all about word power!
For the second task, I asked associates to spend ten minutes a day for twelve weeks reciting the following phrase: “I am happy, I am healthy, and I love my life.” Many of the subjects asked if it mattered that they really didn't feel the emotions of the words, and didn't believe what they were asked to repeat. My answer was, “It doesn't matter what you think or believe. Just keep repeating the words. Words alone have rewiring power. Your brain will ultimately accept the energy associated with the words you speak. What's more, the positive word power will be passed on to your nervous system.” Sure enough, that's exactly what happened.
At the very beginning of each program, I asked each of the subjects from the Erase and Replace group to fill out a detailed questionnaire regarding their state of mind and emotion. I wanted to know quite a bit about them. Were they ever diagnosed with depression or anxiety? Did they frequently experience mood swings or feel out of control? Did they feel powerless or struggle with the notion of accepting responsibility for their own lives? I also wanted to know if their mental and emotional tendencies affected their quality of life at home and/or at work, and if so, in what way?
After repeating the phrase, “I am happy, I am healthy, and I love my life,” for ten minutes a day, every day for twelve weeks, the results were as follows:
Once again, it's what your brain hears most that makes the difference. Your words generate an energy that influences your thoughts and formats your nervous system. Want to improve your overall well-being? Pay conscious attention to your words. Focus on creating a constant stream of positive inner dialogue. Remember, your brain was designed to reflect how it is programmed!
We tend to resist change, even though we're designed for it. It's a matter of positively adapting our thoughts so as to support the messages from our mind to our brain. Decide exactly what you want, and in what ways you'd like to change. Map out your desired changes and then distill your vision down to a word mantra, like the example you read about from our group program. Then continually rehearse it over and over every single day. Remember, the more positive and shocking your mantra, the more likely it is to get the attention of your nervous system. You must compel your nervous system with the power of your words.
Your mind will signal the program change to your brain, and your brain will encode it into your neurochemistry. Soon you will come to experience a transformational reality shift. Your mind talks to your brain, and your brain is your relay center for physical change. It has 100 billion neurons that make 100 trillion communication connections. These connections determine and reflect personality, knowledge, character, emotions, memories, beliefs, and dreams.
THINKING YOUR WAY TO A LIFE “IN PURPOSE”
Any force that's denied flow will result in disharmony. Cholesterol blocks the flow of blood to the heart. Repression blocks the natural release of human emotion. Ultimately, both will result in dis-ease. In much the same way, if denied our true authenticity and higher purpose, we will be forced to contend with the same unfortunate outcome.
The amount of energy it takes to
not
live your life “in purpose” can drain the very life right out of you. I have seen tens of thousands of patients crippled with the fear of such a risk. All risk must be qualified. There are dangerous risks and there are calculated risks. I am not referring to dangerous risks here. I am speaking
about calculated risks associated with the advancement of our higher destiny. Such natural risk-taking can be profoundly empowering. Any vision of great success must carry an equally great risk of failure. These risks represent the very challenges and lessons that we came here for. They are the source of our most sacred “tension.” The tension that we so often curse is, in effect, the blessing that can only become transformed by our willingness to take the risk.
I try to remind myself to celebrate my tensions when they arise. I believe that the sooner I celebrate them, the sooner their transforming effect will take hold. Tension is merely fuel that propels spiritual growth. Only my distorted fear of risk-taking can hold me back from living my life “in purpose.”
Living a life in purpose can actually alter our chemistry. It allows life force to flow more freely and abundantly within us. As long as we remain open, and trusting of our deeper instincts, we'll live in a more inspired, homeostatic state. Living a life in purpose unleashes powerful healing forces within. Entering into such a state of personal solidarity, our endorphins drive up our production of neuropeptides, which then dramatically increase our immunological strength. Conversely, I know of
no
cure for
not
living a life in purpose.
So often, I hear people say that no matter how hard they try, they simply can't seem to get in touch with their life purpose. Many are frustrated, and even burned out over the prospect of such a challenge. Still others even feel that not everyone was designed to get in touch with such weighty stuff.
The ancient Chinese sages believed that each and every one of us was given a specific life purpose. They believed it to be secretly hidden, like a treasure, directly behind the heart. They believed that the only way to discover it was to direct your awareness into, and ultimately right through, your heart, until you arrive at this treasure on the other side. To those who say they can never know
their true life's purpose, I simply say, it's time to begin your journey through to the other side of your heart.
LIVING BACKWARD: A TRANSFORMED MIND, A HIGHER PURPOSE
The two and a half years in my life between March 1, 1992, and December 31, 1994, was nothing short of cataclysmic. It all began with my father's sudden, unexpected passing. Nine months later, on the very same morning my youngest daughter was born, I was jolted by the news that my fifty-three-year-old brother, Anthony, had left this world without warning.
As the months passed, my family and I were so overcome with grief that we were desperate for any hint of serendipity that might bring us together for an occasion other than a funeral. As providence would have it, my twenty-six-year-old nephew, Michael, was to be wed to his lovely fiancée, Rachel, in October 1994. This was just the window of fresh air that we needed. It was a magnificent celebration that uplifted us all and made us feel as though we were at last coming out of what had seemed like an endless tunnel of darkness. Things were beginning to settle back into place for my family. Then, a mere two months later, on New Year's Eve, my sister, Rhonda, called to tell me that Michael had just died from an anaphylactic reaction to medication. Only two months after his wonderful wedding celebration, Michael was also gone. As a family, we were beyond gone. When I say “we,” I would include everyone left standing in my family except for Rhonda. By all accounts, my sister was holding it together. At all the wakes and funerals, it was Rhonda who remained steadfast and strong. Even after the loss of Michael, her firstborn son, she remained stoic.
A few months after Michael's funeral, Rhonda took the train to New York to visit our cousin Mary. As the train pulled into Penn
Station, Rhonda suffered a sudden heart attack. For months Rhonda underwent an endless battery of blood and stress tests. She was under the guidance and care of a very dear friend who, as luck would have it, just happened to be one of the world's most respected heart specialists. After all the tests were completed, the doctor requested to meet with Rhonda regarding her results. He told her that there was absolutely no logical biological reason that could explain her heart attack. Astonishingly, her test results were normal. He explained that this sort of clinical anomaly represented one-in-a-million odds.
“Rhonda,” he exhorted her, “this is very difficult for me to say. I have only seen this in very rare circumstances, but I believe your heart attack may have indeed been the eventuation of your emotionally broken heart. In order to heal your physical heart, you must, at last, let out all your grief, for the greater good of your health.”
In the days and months that followed, it was obvious that Rhonda was going through some dramatic changes. It had become clear to us that she was in the process of reordering her life. She had been forced at the hands of fate to “get real!” There was no room left to store her grief. In her reordering, she was forced to get in touch with all her deepest feelings, both good and bad, both expressed and repressed. As is always the case, pain and suffering paid a visit in order to deliver a life lesson. In this case, the delivery was made and the package was claimed.
Those of us closest to her knew full well that she was determined to get in touch with, and fulfill, the needs of her authentic self. She soon contacted me and requested that I design a diet and lifestyle plan for her. She also asked me to help her work out her spiritual and emotional conflicts.
I have never seen a patient so determined to attain true wholeness. Nor have I ever seen a greater commitment to self-discipline.
Her diet, her workout regime, and her self-discovery were firing on all cylinders, but you could feel that there was more to come. There were intangible, yet palpable, forces unfolding from deep within her.
Rhonda had been married for thirty-six years, during which she'd never known the burdening responsibility of being so awake. Now she was all too aware of her innermost feelings, and she was at last ready to take full responsibility honoring them. She arrived at the difficult conclusion that things had become far too stagnant in her marriage. Not bad, mind you, but stagnant. There was no animosity. There were no irreconcilable differences, just too much rust on the relationship. She demanded that she and her husband see a marriage counselor in hopes of reestablishing some dialogue, but dialogue wasn't the prescription for getting this kind of rust off. “I guess after thirty-six years of anything,” she said, “humans tend to automate.”
Following a period of counseling, Rhonda came to the conclusion that she needed to move on with her life. Some relatives and friends struggled mightily in their vain attempts to understand Rhonda's profound changes. Nevertheless, she remained unconditionally dedicated to her sacred process. I will forever respect my sister for her uncompromising courage.
Our sacred process is rarely understood, or approved of, by the world. Nonetheless, the spiritually strong always soldier on through their sacred process, one bold step at a time. Sacred process reveals two kinds of people: those who are
externally reactive,
and those who are
internally proactive
.
Externally reactive
people are “other” directed. All too often, they are the victims of narcissistic deprivation. As patients, they're inclined to feel that they simply don't deserve to recover. Their sacred process invites them to wrestle their rightful power back into their own hands. But, for many, their fear of self-empowerment so impels them to yield to rigid demands of “other” and to keep peace
that they end up depriving themselves of their own vital needs. Ultimately their drive for safety drains the life out of them.
Internally proactive
people are “self” directed. Survivors of terminal illness are often transformed into internally proactive people. They are committed to living life fully alive, regardless of approval, opinion, or conflict. As patients, they tend to overcome their illnesses because they've learned well the art of living life “backward,” in some cases by nearly losing it. They've found themselves on the edge of a precipice where they no longer have the luxury of indulging in self-denial. They have the distinct advantage of knowing what their ending looks like.
I often advise my patients to first look at their final step in life before trying to figure out their next step. I tell them, “Envision the final scene in your last chapter, then slowly work your way back, filling in all the blanks in the novel of your life, right back up to the present step that lies before you.” After all, you are the author and the main character in the classic called
Your Life
. Always be fully mindful in the presence of each precious, unfolding chapter.
I've always considered every patient to be my teacher. Profound life lessons can be learned from those survivors who have walked to the cliff's edge and called themselves back. They are the true masters of the art of living life backward. They have much to tell us about looking into the nature of the whole selves we are all yearning to be.