‘Well, I won’t see that poor blighter again.’
But she was wrong. Against all wisdom, Thomas arrived at the café on the dot of ten the next morning, as per usual, looking remarkably cheerful.
‘Beans on toast I think this morning, Belle.’
‘Right you are, chuck. Shall I pop a fried egg on top, just to give it a bit of body?’ Belle asked him, stretching her own voluptuous body as she stood close beside him. She thought he needed reminding what a good woman looked like, that they weren’t all thin as a drink of water with a sour smile like his missus.
‘Eeh, that’d be grand!’
She gave him a custard tart afterwards, as a treat. ‘On the house.’
‘You’re too good to me, Belle.’
‘I can always tell when a man needs a bit of spoiling.’
‘I’m working hard on me son’s house, so it’s much appreciated. It beats coffee and biscuits any time,’ he said, then glancing at his watch, ‘crikey, that reminds me, I’d best be off. What do I owe you?’
‘I can put it on account, if you’re in a hurry. Settle up at the end of the week, why don’t you? I know when I can trust a chap to deliver the goods.’
She smiled at him and Thomas gave her a thoughtful look. There was something about Belle Garside which always gave the impression she was saying much more than was at first evident. A rippling undercurrent of danger and excitement. Thomas grinned. But then hadn’t he been saying that he happen needed a bit of excitement in his life?
‘See you tomorrow then.’ It felt as if he’d just made an assignation and Thomas walked out of the little café with his head held high.
Unfortunately, staying talking to Belle had made him late for his morning coffee and biscuits and he could see Mavis standing on the doorstep of the baker’s shop looking out for him. He waved, just to reassure her that he was on his way. He’d no appetite now for a ginger snap but it was easier to slip one down rather than create a fuss. Had she spotted him coming out of the café? No, he didn’t think so. He hoped not anyroad, or there’d be hell to pay. Then just as he was about to cross the street, Belle suddenly appeared at his side.
‘You forgot your cap, chuck.’ And placing it on his head, she very quickly kissed his cheek. ‘You’d forget your head if it were loose, you daft article,’ she teased, then sashayed off, hips swinging.
Thomas’s heart sank to his boots as he turned to face the blistering anger of his wife, feeling rather as Custer must have felt facing the Battle of the Little Bighorn.
Chapter Twenty-Five
‘I know in my heart that it can’t all be lies. Something must have happened between you for Carmina to mistakenly believe she was pregnant. She genuinely believed she was carrying your child.’
Here they were again,’ Luc thought, with a weary sigh. ‘The same old argument that kept on surfacing between them like an itch that had to be scratched.
‘And you believe her, rather than me?’
‘I do.’
Luc ran a hand through his untidy hair. ‘Carmina is far more complicated, far cleverer than you might think. You’re always so determined to see the best in people but life isn’t like that, Gina.’
‘Don’t
you
start lecturing me about
life
,’ Gina interrupted him, feeling dangerously close to tears. ‘Carmina is always telling me how naïve I am, how unused to the ways of the world. That isn’t my fault, you know. I’ve been locked away from it for nearly six years.’
‘I know.’ Luc’s heart went out to her, yet he knew she was stronger than she looked, otherwise she couldn’t have got over her illness so well.
‘I like people,’ Gina continued, lifting her chin high, cinnamon eyes blazing.’ And I happen to think the world is a fine and beautiful place. What is so wrong with that?‘
‘Nothing, sweetheart,’ he said, gently rubbing her arms to soothe her. ‘Except that other people aren’t so generous-hearted as you. Carmina is bitter and jealous because she seems to think she has some sort of God-given right over me. I really don’t know why, but she does. I was always hopeful of being saved at the eleventh hour, that this so-called wedding she was so desperately trying to bludgeon me into would never happen. Even when your father was talking to mine I was thinking, there must be a way out of this. I just couldn’t believe it was happening.’
‘So you’d’ve happily wriggled out of your responsibilities and left her to bring up your child alone, would you?’
‘I never had any responsibilities towards Carmina. She wasn’t ever having my child! How could she be when we didn’t
do
anything to make one. It was all a complete fabrication, a figment of her warped imagination. Hasn’t Doc Mitchell proved that fact beyond doubt?’
‘It hasn’t been proved that you didn’t have sex with her, only that she was mistaken about the pregnancy.’
He looked at her aghast. Luc felt drained, and deeply unhappy, realising he was no nearer to proving his innocence. ‘Why are we quarrelling? We’ve been through all of this scores of times. I was a fool to kiss yer, yes, or rather to let her kiss me. I let things go too far, but I swear that I stopped it right there, before it got quite out of hand. Do you understand what I’m saying, Gina?’
Gina flushed bright red. ‘I’m not as stupid as everyone seems to think. But you were with her, in your car, necking, petting, whatever you got up to. It was still a betrayal.’
Luc’s face turned a dull red, from frustration and embarrassment. ‘You’re right, it was in a way. And I hate myself for that, for not believing in
you,
rather than the lies she was telling me. For not believing in
us
. Do you
believe in us, Gina? Can you believe in
me
?’
She looked at him properly then, straight in the eye. ‘I don’t know. You’ve hurt me badly. I don’t know who to believe. Carmina is my sister. All right, so we squabble and fall out all the time. Sisters do. She’s always seen me as a rival, as if she should be best in everything because she’s a year or so older than me. But that’s perfectly normal behaviour between sisters. She was at my side every day throughout the years of my illness. I can’t forget that, and irritating as she is, I love her.’
‘And I love you. I don’t want you ever to forget that.’
The only way Gina could deal with the misery that was eating away at her was to bury herself in her new job. She loved working for Dena in the sewing room although she kept herself to herself, rarely chatting to the other girls. She barely paused in her work, as if needing to prove herself. She kept her fingers flying, feet smoothly operating the treadle of the Singer sewing machine, grateful to at last have found something that she was good at.
But it was hard keeping her feelings bottled up inside, and while her family blithely assumed all was well, her friend Amy seemed to be far more perceptive.
‘Are you happy, Gina?’ she asked her one day. Gina had developed the habit of popping in to see her new friend for a chat in what was to be Amy and Chris’s new home.
‘I enjoy working for Dena. It feels so good to have a real purpose in life.’
They were sitting on upturned boxes eating egg sandwiches, and Amy set a mug of tea down beside her. The house was empty save for the two of them, since Thomas had gone off to buy more paint, and Chris was at the bakery, as usual. Amy smiled as she took a sip of her tea. ‘Good, I’m glad. And how are things at home? Are your parents happy about your decision to start work?’
‘Oh, yes,’ Gina agreed, eyes shining. ‘Momma was surprised when I told her, but very pleased. She tends to assume that I’d be useless at anything, or else get overtired, but then she’s very protective of me, you see. Ever since - well, she just is.’
‘You aren’t useless at all. I’m sure you’re an extremely skilled machinist. Dena wouldn’t employ you otherwise.’ Amy paused, a small frown creasing her smooth brow, not sure how to proceed. She liked Gina a lot but she was concerned for her. The younger girl might claim to be happy, but didn’t look it.
‘If you don’t mind a friend being nosy, how are you and Luc getting on? Is it working out between the pair of you?’
Gina said nothing for some moments, merely sipped at her tea and then gazed at Amy over the rim of her mug. In the end, she set it down and gave a philosophical shrug.
‘When I say that I’m happy, I mean I love my job. I like having a reason to get up in a morning, something more to look forward to than just helping Momma at home, or being with the children.
But Luc and I - it’s too soon to be sure. It’s hard for me to forget what he did. Hard to forgive, and to trust him again. That’s the truth. I’m so confused, and find it difficult to pretend that things haven’t changed between us.’
‘Then don’t try to pretend. Be honest with him. If it hurts, say so. Explain how you feel, and why. You might still be able to work things out, and be stronger as a result. Although selfish people like your sister often have an easier time of it than sensitive ones such as yourself.’
‘Oh, no, that’s not so,’ Gina disagreed. ‘Carmina is not having an easy time of it either, probably because she did lie to me at first, and maybe regrets that. She isn’t happy, not at all, although she won’t admit her misery is entirely of her own making. She can’t bring herself to accept that she’s lost Luc. And I can’t accept that she’s lying about – well, about what happened after those kisses. Luc swears things didn’t go any further but how can I be sure?’
‘Trust?’
Gina gave a rueful smile. ‘But who do I trust? My sister, or my boy friend?’
‘Yet you accept she’s lied once already. Why not again? Maybe Luc’s right and she made up the whole thing.’
Gina gave this some thought, then shook her head. ‘Why would she? It doesn’t make sense to fabricate a pregnancy. I think that was a genuine concern because of what had happened between them. Anyway, I can’t even find it in my heart to forgive him for kissing her, let alone anything more.’
‘Have you tried talking to Carmina recently? Have you asked her, point blank, if she’s speaking the truth?’
Gina gave Amy an agonised glance. ‘I suppose I’m afraid to ask.’
‘Oh, Gina, you have to. You owe it to yourself. Don’t let her walk all over you. I know it can’t be easy and I don’t envy you your dilemma, love.’ Amy rested a gentle hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. ‘You can always come here and talk to me though, don’t forget.’
‘I know. It’s good to have friends.’ Particularly, Gina thought, when your closest sister has cheated on you with the boy you love.
Gina was in torment, couldn’t get the image of her sister making love to Luc out of her mind. It didn’t surprise her that Carmina wanted to win Luc for herself, like a prize in a raffle. And how could he resist? She was a beautiful, desirable girl. And ever since they were quite small, rivalry between the two sisters had been strong.
Gina remembered once winning a certificate for reading poetry in a competition. Afterwards, Carmina had ‘accidentally’ spilled orange juice on it. Momma had tried to clean the stain off, and Papa had put the certificate in a lovely frame, but somehow it was spoiled, and Gina knew why. Her sister was jealous.
Her worst memory of all was of the day when her illness had been diagnosed. Gina had felt devastated, as had her parents. They both of them had rushed to hug her, kissing her and reassuring her that she would get well again, when suddenly her eleven year old sister had screamed and fallen in a fit on to the floor. Momma and Papa had rushed to Carmina’s aid then, naturally, but Gina had known, in her heart, that nothing at all was wrong with her. Carmina had fallen off her chair in order to bring the attention back to herself.
Amy thought Luc might be the one telling the truth. Yet he hadn’t denied they were together in the car that night, or that he had kissed her. So how could she be sure that they didn’t go all the way?
Gina could hardly bear to think of it. Unfortunately she couldn’t
stop
herself from thinking about it.
‘Why did you do it?’ Gina had decided to take Amy’s advice and ask her sister what exactly had happened, and why.
Carmina hung her head, saying nothing.
‘Why did you claim to be pregnant? Tell me!’
‘Because I thought I was, after what had taken place between us. I was so scared,’ Carmina whispered, dipping her head still further so that her face was almost entirely hidden behind a swathe of glossy curls.
‘But why did you let him make love to you in the first place? Is it because you hate me?’
She swept back the mane of ebony hair with one hand to reveal a face ravished by tears. ‘How could I ever hate you? You are my little
sister
. I
love
you! Gina, I’m so sorry for all of this, for hurting you so badly. I never meant this to happen. Luc made it very plain that he wanted me, wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I simply couldn’t help myself. I love him so very much, you see.’
Gina stared at her sister, dry-eyed, her heart bleeding over the pain of this confession, and the way the pair of them seemed destined to be at odds. ‘Yes, I do see. But I love him too.’
‘I know. Oh, Gina, what are we to do?’
‘It’s rather up to Luc, don’t you think? He must be the one to choose which of us he wants.’