“No,” Caitlin leaped to action and rushed up behind Chastity to open the door for her. “She can’t wait—she’s in a hurry. So are you. Scoot now, Chastity, I’ll see you.”
He could fix this, Joe thought with a surge of unfamiliar panic. Otherwise, she’d lose everything, and he knew how it felt to own nothing. “Caitlin—”
“Leave it alone,” she whispered frantically behind Chastity’s back. “
Please
,” she added so bleakly, he swallowed his protests and let her show Chastity out.
When the woman was gone, Caitlin turned to him, her face tight and drawn. “I want you to go now.”
How long had it been since he’d felt so helpless? It had been a mistake to kiss her, to touch her again. She made him feel things he shouldn’t. Made him want things he didn’t want to want. There’d been plenty of times in his life he could have had a shot at a future with someone and he’d chosen not to. It was too late for him now, far too late. He wanted to be alone.
And maybe if he kept repeating it to himself, he’d believe it. He’d believe he didn’t want this woman in his life,
really
in his life. “Caitlin.”
She held up a hand. “I need to be alone,” she said quietly, dignity humming.
“I
want
to be alone.”
“I
can’t leave you. Not like this.” He moved close, but at the last minute, stopped short. What right did he have to hold her? To offer comfort? He wasn’t a long-term bet, and she deserved no less. Clasping his hands behind his back to keep them off her, he drew a deep breath. “Have you eaten?”
She gaped at him. Then laughed. “That sounded suspiciously like a question from a man who cared. But that couldn’t be, because you would never let yourself do something as foolish as that, would you, Joe?”
“I’m trying to help you.” He refused to rise to the bait, though his temper stirred. “I’m trying to offer support”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends.”
“No.” Sadly, she shook her head. “Friends trust one another, Joe. And you have a real problem with that. You can’t let go enough to trust me.”
“I care about you,” he stated gruffly. “And I’m tired of you throwing it back in my face.”
She looked at him, startled. “I’m sorry for that,” she said softly. “I know it’s not easy for you to care, and I have no right to make you feel as if it’s not welcome. It is.” She took the few remaining steps between them. Gently, she touched his chest, resting one hand lightly over his steadily beating heart. Watching her fingers, she whispered, “I care about you also, Joe. Far too much.”
Beneath her hand, his heart beat faster. “I don’t want you to,” he said so low she nearly missed it.
For a moment, she stood there, head bowed. Then she raised a wet gaze to his. “I know. But that’s just the way it is.” Reaching behind him, she opened the front door, inviting him to leave her alone.
10
H
E WAS TOUCHING HER, finally touching her. He ran his fingers down the length of her body, making her shiver with delight, anticipation. When he kissed her, slow, deep, lazy kisses that made her weak with pleasure and dizzy with desire, she moaned and begged him for more.
He pushed the blanket down, away from her, and the moonlight glowed over their bodies. His was perfect, hard and rippled and pulsing with life. She’d always felt hers was too soft, too...much, but he whispered how beautiful she was, how good she tasted, and at the needy heat in his eyes, she believed him.
For the first time in her life, she felt truly beautiful. Desirable.
As he kissed her again, he touched her—her face, her throat, her back, her legs, then back up again, stopping at the part of her burning for him.
As he lifted his head, Joseph’s light eyes held hers. “I want you,” he whispered thickly. “So much.” His fingers skimmed over her, lightly, teasing, until she arched up against his hand.
“I want you, too.” She clasped her hands around him, holding him close. “I love you, Joe. So much.”
He stilled. “No,” his low, shaky voice came. “You don’t know me.”
“I know enough.”
His eyes burned brightly. “I’m...not an easy man.” His voice was strangled with emotion. “And God knows I don’t deserve you, but Caitlin, don’t leave me. Don’t ever give up on me.”
She started to shake her head, but his fingers worked their magic, and her entire body started to shake. “Joe!” she called out, on the very edge and teetering crazily....
SHE WOKE UP, twisted in her sheets, damp with perspiration and breathing as if she’d just run a marathon.
A dream. Just a dream. The most real, most perfect dream she’d ever had.
She was alone in her moonlit bed, which was scattered with moving boxes. On an empty shelf sat a porcelain kitty, filled with rose petals. It had been her first purchase for this place, and she hadn’t wanted to pack it because then it would be real.
She was leaving.
She lay in her bed,
by herself
, breathless, shaking, alone. Alone and...hot. Very hot.
She had fallen in love with Joe.
She hadn’t meant to, but it had happened and now she was really in trouble because he’d never allow himself to love her back. She could give and give until she was exhausted, and still, Joe would never give it back.
Trembling in unfulfilled passion, Caitlin did the only thing she could. She dropped her face to her pillow and burst into tears.
SATURDAY MORNING DAWNED bright and early. Too early, Caitlin thought with a moan and flipped over, burrowing under the covers.
Her body still tingled, still felt a little neglected, a little needy. That dream had really shaken her, and if she’d had the energy, she might have drowned her sorrows in an ice-cold shower.
When the knock came at the door, she jerked upright with panic as she remembered. It was her moving day. A day of fresh beginnings.
Yeah, right
. More like the day she stepped down in the world, from beachfront condo to seedy apartment. Well, it could be worse. She could be pushing a shopping cart and muttering to herself at Venice Beach.
She had to remain positive. She was on her own, supporting herself, a first for her. Unmistakable pride boosted her spirits, as did a healthy amount of fear. Life in the real world, complete with real worries and doubts and insecurities about survival.
A day of change.
The knock came again, not so patiently this time, and with a little laugh, Caitlin leaped out of bed. Vince had kept his promise to come help, to bring the twins and Amy. The thought of having friends around cheered her considerably.
And if a little part of her wished it were Joe, she shoved that thought from her mind as she pulled on a denim miniskirt and a tank top. Joe had no place in her life.
No place at all, she thought as she wrenched open the front door a minute later and faced...the man of her dreams.
He wore his black jeans with a black polo shirt that was actually tucked in today. His scowl matched the clothing, forcibly reminding her of that modern-day pirate again. And now that she knew he even
kissed
like a renegade, her knees went a little weak at the sight of him. He seemed so big, so tall. She wished she’d put on her platform sandals for some desperately needed height and confidence.
“Joe.” Was that her voice, all breathless and excited? She cleared her throat and tried again. “What are you doing here?”
Joe wished to hell he knew. What he
did
know was that he’d never felt so lonely as he had last night. For the first time in his life, he’d felt a deep, burning need to be with someone who cared about him.
To allay that need, he’d looked elsewhere, but had found no one. There’d only been one other person he’d let into his life, but Edmund was gone now. In an attempt to bring the man back fresh into his head, Joe had finally gone through his thick copy of the will. What he’d discovered at the back of the file had stunned him—a personal note from the dead. From Edmund, the note was in his pocket right now.
If you’re reading this, it’s over for me. To be honest, it’s been over for a while now. I invested too heavily these past years, and the price is high. All my assets will go to my investors—except CompuSoft, which was always yours in heart anyway.
Make sure you give Caitlin that job we talked about. It’ll be all she has—there’s nothing left to give her. She will have to learn to take care of herself now, and there’s nobody in the world who can do that better than you.
Teach her, Joe. I know you’ll resent this intrusion, but I also know you’ll help show her what I couldn’t. Please, for my sake, don’t tell her how stupid I’ve been. Let me have that at least, but help her.
Sick to the depths of his soul, Joe had lain awake all night. Edmund had faced financial disaster, and he hadn’t known. Caitlin had been suffering because of it, and he hadn’t paid attention. She’d even proved herself over and over, and he had closed his eyes to it.
All those times he’d been so rough. So cruel. She’d given everything she had in the first adverse situation of her life, fighting like a trooper to survive, and he’d done little but groan about the trouble she’d been. Edmund would have been ashamed of him, and Joe had never felt so disgusted in all his life.
“Joe?” Caitlin was looking at him expectantly. “Why are you here?”
“You’re letting that Chastity woman take everything, every possession you have, rather than accept my help,” he said in a very controlled, very soft voice. “I hate that, Caitlin.”
“Do you?”
Gently, he pushed his way in, his mood darkening when he saw the scores of boxes lining the place.
“Why didn’t you didn’t let me help you?”
“Maybe I wanted to do it myself.”
He looked so startled at that, Caitlin had to laugh. “What’s the matter? Didn’t think the spoiled brat would be able to do it?”
“No,” he said with brutal honesty, meeting her steady gaze. “I didn’t. But that was before I knew you. I’m beginning to realize you’re capable of just about anything.”
“I am.” Unable to stand there looking at him and not remember her dream, that delicious, perfect dream where he’d touched her with those big, warm hands and sent her to heaven, she turned away.
“Is that what you’re wearing to move in?”
She glanced down at herself. Her ribbed, shocking-pink tank top was appliquéd with a huge happy face on the chest. She felt comfortable. Definitely fashionable. But just not quite tall enough... “Yes, it is, but just a sec,” she exclaimed, and ran up the stairs.
“Sorry, Chastity,” she murmured, and reached into one of the ten huge boxes of shoes she’d agreed to sell. “You’ll have to do without these.”
After she had the clear, high plastic platform sandals on, she felt better. Much better. She left her room, grabbing the porcelain kitty filled with rose petals, deciding on the spot she wasn’t giving that up, either.
At the top of the stairs, she smiled down to an impatiently waiting Joe. She thought she was hot stuff now. Really, really untouchable.
As she reached the second stair, the heel of her right shoe caught. Without warning, she bounced down the stairs on her butt. Rose petals rained down as they spilled out of her porcelain kitty.
When she hit bottom, Joe was right there, on his knees, face grim. “You okay?” Rose petals shimmered in his hair, on his shoulders. “Caitlin! Answer me, dammit.”
The only thing hurting at the moment was her pride. Well, and maybe the rug burn she’d just gotten on her tender backside. “I’ll live.”
He looked so ridiculous with that fierce expression as rose petals fell off his nose, but she didn’t dare laugh. She nearly choked holding it in, then she exploded.
He scowled at her laughter. “Are you sure you’re not hurt? I know you couldn’t have broken that hard head of yours, but...”
She kept laughing, unable to stop.
His frown faded; he bit his lip. Then he started laughing, too.
“You’re unbelievable,” he said when he could talk. “Take those damn heels off before you kill me.”
“Kill
you?
” she gasped, wiping her tears of mirth.
“Yeah.” His voice had gone deep and husky.
She followed his gaze.
Her skirt was hiked up indecently high, exposing a long length of thigh and even a peek at her panties.
She shoved the skirt down, face suddenly hot.
Just like his eyes. “They match,” he said unevenly.
Puzzled, she glanced down at the black-and-yellow happy face sewn on the front of her can’t-miss-me pink tank top. She thought nothing could embarrass her more than her pratfall down the stairs, but she’d been wrong. Her brilliant pink panties also had happy faces on them, and remembering her graceless slide down the stairs with her skirt up around her ears, she imagined Joe had gotten quite a view of them.
Revenge was simple enough.
When Vince, Tim and Andy showed up, she put them all to work along with Chastity and the men she’d brought.
“This is perfect,” Caitlin said casually several hours later.
Tim, Andy and Joe moved by, each staggering under the weight of a huge box. Joe stopped, breath huffing, muscles straining in all sorts of interesting ways. “What’s perfect? That we’re doing all the work, or that you’re the boss for a change?”
She grinned, her revenge complete. “Both!”
LATER VINCE PULLED her aside. “You really okay?”
“Hey, I’ve got four studs at my beck and call.” She took in his designer sweats, and compared them to the jeans of the other men. She had to laugh. “Well, three studs and one really finely dressed man. I can’t think of one reason why I shouldn’t be just peachy fine.”
“Because you’re losing everything,” he said gently, running his hand up her arm.
“Thanks for the reminder.” Why wasn’t his touch causing goose bumps? Making her shiver with desire? He was perfect. Any normal woman would have told her so.
But she wasn’t normal.
“Are you sure about this, Caitlin?” Vince asked, clearly concerned. “Are you sure you didn’t pick too hastily?”
It took her a minute to realize he was talking about her choice of apartment, not the man she’d fallen for.
“I looked up your new address on the map last night, and I don’t think it’s such a great neighborhood.”
Caitlin knew it wasn’t, but she hadn’t had much to work with. And she was doing her darnedest not to obsess or dwell, since she hated to do either. But it was getting increasingly difficult to stay cheery with Vince reminding her of everything she’d been trying not to think about. “Well, at least my car won’t get stolen.”
“Why?” He looked blank and she sighed.
“Because I already got it repossessed. Remember?”
He frowned, for a moment reminding her of another man. The man who was at this moment grappling with a large box, for her, sweat making his skin glisten, exertion making his arms bulge.
Her darn knees went weak and she wasn’t even wearing those platforms; Joe had tossed them with great ceremony into the Dumpster.
“Caitlin?” Vince looked at her. “You could come with me. Take your time and find something better.”
“I don’t think so,” Joe said lightly in a voice of steel as he came back inside.
Tim, clearly sensing the sudden tension, clapped his hands and announced cheerfully, “Well, we’ve got everything you want to bring, Caitlin. I vote we stop for a pizza on the way to the new apartment.”