Why Men Love Bitches (10 page)

Men
like
the game that women find maddening. Picture the following scenario: A red-blooded American male is watching a Super Bowl game in which the score is 47 to 3. That’s not very exciting, right? But if he’s watching a Super Bowl game that goes into overtime—now he’s on the edge of his seat for three hours. His team triumphs and he starts screaming: “Yes! Yes!” His favorite sports idol on TV is now spanking everyone else on the rear while he’s breaking out the drinks for a celebration.

Ten years later, if you were to ask him about that game-winning final play, he’d describe it as though it happened yesterday. The same thing happens when a woman gives herself over slowly. He becomes much more excited about it.

This may sound “old school,” but rest assured it is advice based on
countless
interviews I conducted with men, both young and old. A perfect example is Nathan. He just turned twenty-five, and he does pretty well with the ladies. Here’s what he had to say, word-for-word:

Granted, there are some men who don’t want to invest any effort. These are the men who subscribe to the “three-date rule.” This rule holds that if a woman doesn’t put out by the third date, the man should stop pursuing her altogether.

There are men who truly want to find a woman they can spend time with. However, the “three-date rule” is for men who have ruled out this option entirely; they just want to hit and run. If a man leaves because he didn’t score by the third date, it’s a clear signal he would have left after getting it anyway.

The nice girl is more likely to feel
obligated, pressured
, or
manipulated
to sleep with a man early on. She sleeps with him and then believes she’ll hook him with great sex, as though what she has to offer sexually is “golden.” The bitch understands that the sex only becomes “golden” when he doesn’t get it right away.

Don’t be misled by the fact that men want it quick and they are accustomed to having it be easy. If given the option, most men would love to know how much it would take—the bottom-line dollar figure—to get a woman into bed. It’s almost as if there is an
unspoken
transaction between the guy and the nice girl, in which a bartered transaction takes place: “Lookie, here. I’m willing to spend the equivalent of two dinners, a bouquet of flowers, and a movie—for a grand total of $255.92. And not a penny more.”

He budgets how much he can spend and wants to know how much it will cost.

The bitch is smarter.
She knows that if he’s not pursuing her, he’ll pursue someone else. So whatever his budget is, large or small, she makes sure it is spent on her and on no one else. In her mind, she’s the best investment he’ll ever make.

The “three-date rule” will fall on deaf ears with the bitch. She’ll let the guy walk—and she won’t barter. He will end up marrying the woman who doesn’t play by his rules; she plays by her own. Since she has no problem allowing the words
See ya later
to trip lightly off her tongue, he usually doesn’t feel as if he can get away with disrespecting her.

Unlike the nice girl, the bitch believes that she has much more to offer than
just
her sexuality. So she has sex when the feeling strikes her—if and when she’s comfortable with the relationship. She is plenty sexy, which is precisely why she
doesn’t
throw it out there as if it’s all she has.

After they consummate the relationship, this doesn’t change. He is still unable to predict when he will make love to her. He doesn’t know if it will happen Tuesday or Wednesday. Or Saturday or Sunday. So the mystery and the chase never go away, and he never quite feels he has fully conquered her. And that is because when she has sex with him it’s
on her terms.

When sex happens early on because the nice girl wants desperately to hold on to a man, his behavior changes completely. The dinners, the candlelight, the flowers-it all comes to a screeching halt. Instead of taking her out to dinner and a movie, now he’s dropping by unannounced with a video because he already knows what’s going to happen.

However, when a woman makes him wait and he’s romantic over time, the dinners and the flowers keep on coming. Why? Because he formed the
habit
of treating her with respect before he got what he wanted.

A quality guy will stick around as long as he is being reassured in two areas: He wants to know that he is sexually desirable to you, and he wants to see signs that he is still in “the game.” As long as he can see the light at the end of the tunnel, he’ll continue to make his way down the tunnel.

However, it won’t take much for him to get a mixed message or to feel he’s being teased. Therefore, the next section will help you with the delicate balancing act you’ll need to perform so he does not feel as though you are
teasing
him.

It’s not necessarily helpful that you absolutely dig the guy and that you are
just as turned on
as he is. Giving him a mixed message will be easy, because he’s ever so sexy and he’s trying to seduce you. And he’ll be on the lookout for any signal whatsoever that you’ve given him a green light. So it’s important to keep the signals very clear:

• Red means no.
  
• Green means go.
  
• Yellow means you’re a tease, which will piss him off.
  

For example, perhaps your top comes off, or there’s a little bit of grinding action while you’re kissing on the couch. A few minutes later, he’ll think you’re ready to roll. This is not the time to say, “No, I’m just not ready.” Telling him this is like taking candy away from a child after you’ve already let him taste it.

You can’t titillate him to the point of no return and then say, “No, I just don’t feel right about it.” He’ll be thinking, “How do you not feel right about it when you’re topless, you’ve been grinding me for an hour, and your pants are unbuttoned?”

This is where we get the term
hot and bothered.
After he’s no longer hot, he will be pissed off and “bothered.” He’ll have far less desire to engage in the game because you’ve taken all the fun out of it. He no longer thinks you are playing fair, and his feelings will change from lust to
resentment.
If he feels he’s being teased, he may stop pursuing you altogether.

Think about it. You can’t show a dog a T-bone steak for an hour and then throw him a celery stick. If you want a man to respect you, you have to play fair.

The following guidelines will allow you to delay the time before you have sex without being perceived as a tease:

• In the beginning, try not to be alone at his place or at yours, especially very late at night.
  
• Do things socially that require that you to meet somewhere in public. Or have him pick you up and then have somewhere to go.
  
• Do fun things during the daylight hours. If you go biking, it will seem like a red light. But if you’re both wrapped up in a blanket in front of a fireplace with a bottle of wine at midnight, he’ll assume you’ve given him a green light.
  
• Give kisses that are sexy and sensual. But do it while you’re
  out,
  where it is unlikely to last too long. Don’t get him worked up when you’re alone together, while rolling around on the floor, a bed, or the couch.
  
• The first few times you go out, he may want to come in late at night, after your date. If you think he’s going to make a move but you aren’t quite ready, abort the mission at the door. If you live in an apartment building, say good night in the lobby. “Thanks so much, I’ve had a great time.”
  
• Smile a lot, laugh at his jokes, and be good company. You want him to think of you as a friend
  as well as
  a lover. It’s a great sign if he babbles on about himself, especially if he’s a little nervous. If he likes you, he’ll want to open up.
  
• Flirt in moderation. Be careful of sexual joking because it’s never really a joke. A lot of times men will use humor to see where the parameters lie. Don’t be a prude—you can laugh at the jokes and be playful. But don’t stay on the subject of sex for a long time, or he’ll view it as a green light.
  
• Compliment him. Let him know he’s desirable to you. For example, lean close and smell his cologne when he gives you a hug. Or tell him he looks gorgeous. This subtly confirms you choose to wait for reasons that have nothing to do with
  his
  desirability.
  
• Show that you are affectionate and loving. Hold hands or put your head on his shoulder so he feels manly. Rub his leg lightly while you are at the movies. But don’t tease him; this means stay close to the
  knee
  . Don’t graze private areas or he’ll see a green light.
  
• Try not to get into heavy petting in the car when he drops you off, or he’ll want to get busy. Even the guy with the new BMW who makes you wipe your feet before sitting on his leather seats won’t hesitate to get some “play” in his car. That’s why he bought it in the first place.
  
• If it’s late at night, don’t say, “Okay, come in…just for a minute.” Don’t ask him to come in to meet your cat, Cushy. Don’t offer coffee. Don’t offer tea. Don’t show him your remodeled place. There’s no such thing as “just for a minute” after midnight.
  
• Don’t let on you are pacing it, even though you are. Don’t ever tell him he’ll be waiting at least a month. Don’t indicate whether he’s “getting warm” and try not to give him a three-day weather forecast for predicting that you’ll soon be ready.
  Just don’t create the opportunity for something to happen if you aren’t ready to allow it to happen.
  
• Don’t believe him when he says, “We’ll just cuddle.” Even if you’ve known him for a long time and he’s a perfect gentleman with extraordinary restraint, the objective is not to tease him.
  
• Be affectionate
  in public
  . It’s generally pretty safe, because it can’t go any further.