Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love

Acknowledgments
 

Thank you to those who contributed to this book, whether they knew it or not:

Kelly Bradtke, Andrew and Joanne Parish, Decima McAuley, Rebecca Schell, Melissa Stewart, Jasmine Pease, Cameron Pease, Brandon Pease, Bella Pease, Michael Pease, Adam Sellars, John MacIntosh, Norman Leonard, Ken Wright, Amanda Gore, Daniel Clarke, Dr. Janet Hall, Col and Jill Haste, Kirsty and Scott Gooderham, Phil Gray, Shirley Neale and Danny Redman, Des Wilmore, Bernie de Souza, Dr. James Moir, Helen and Ian Belcher, Roger Loughnan, Ivanna Fugalot, Dr. Gennady Polonsky, Christine Walding, Jeff Turner, John Lanesmith, Sally Berghofer, Rob and Sue Keam, Dave Stewart, David C. Smith, Dr. John Tickel, Professor Graeme Jackson, Nicole Kilpatrick, Josephine and Rick, Glen Fraser, Tony Rich, Dr. Michael Walsh, Angus Woodhead, Fiona Hedger, Gary Crick, Anthony Gorman, Brian Tracy, Jenny Cooper, Ivor Ashfield, Trevor Velt, Jo Abbott, Alan Holliday, Graeme Shiels, Shorty Tully, Kerri-Anne Kennerley, Sue Williams, Janine Good, Bert Newton, Graham Smith, Kevin Fraser, Dr. Phillip Stricker, Emma and Graham Steele, Jaci Elliott, and Glenda Leonard.

And special thanks to
Dorie Simmonds
and
Ray and Ruth Pease
.

Contents
 

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Looking for “the One”

How the Western World Got So Screwed Up About Sex

The Statistics

 1.
Sex on the Brain

Same Goals, Different Agendas

The Power of Love

The Biology of Love

Love At First Sight

Darwin Made Me Do It

Let’s Stick Together

Why Lovers Are So Crazy About Each Other

I Get a Shiver Down My Backbone

I Can’t Sleep, I Can’t Eat

What Brain Scans Reveal

Might as Well Face It, You’re Addicted to Love

The Geography of Sex and Love in the Brain

Why Men and Women See Love Differently

How Men’s Brains Rate Attractiveness in Women

How Women’s Brains Rate Attractiveness in Men

Why Lust Doesn’t Last

What Happens When You Get Dumped

Summary

 2.
Straight Talk on Sex and Love

How Times Have Changed

How Humans Are Now Studied

Why Being Loved and Being in Love Are So Important

The Seven Types of Love

Our Love Maps

How Hollywood and the Media Color Our View

Why the Twenty-First Century Is Harder for Men

Summary

 3.
What Women Really Want

The Changing Needs of Women

Mamma Told Me, “Shop Around”

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

The Truth About What Women Want

Wealthy Men Give Women More Orgasms

The Top Five Things Women Want from Men

Commitment—Why a Man Should Give a Woman an Impressive Ring

The Last Ten Things a Woman Would Ever Say

Seven Simple Things Women Find Attractive In Men

Why No Woman Wants a Loser

Women Will Always Want Resources

Summary

 4.
What Men Really Want

How the Media Shape Men’s Views

What Men Really Want

What a Man Will Do for Sex

Men Don’t Think About Relationships

Decoding Manspeak

Men Seek Reproductive Value

Getting to the Point

What the Personal Columns Reveal

Why Attractiveness Has Become So Important

What “Attractive” Means

Take a Leaf from the Amazons

What Men Look for in Beauty

Our Universal Beauty Contest

Our Reaction to Attractive Faces Is Inborn

What Turns Men On—the 70% Hips-to-Waist Ratio

What Turns Men Off About Women

Physical Choices for Gay Men and Women

How Governments Have Become the New Husband

Summary

 5.
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship—Casual Sex

What Is Casual Sex?

A Definition of “Sexual Relationship”

Why We Have Casual Sex

How We Feel After Casual Sex

How Dads Influence Their Kids’ Attitudes

How Many Partners Do You Want?

Sexual Fantasies and Casual Sex

How Gay Men and Women Look at Things

Summary

 6.
Your Place or Mine? Affairs and Cheating

What Is an Affair?

Your Cheating Heart

Why Affairs Happen

It Can Happen at Any Level

Why Women Play Around Less Than Men

Six Common Myths About Cheating

The Nine Different Types of Affairs

Why the “Perfect Affair” Is a Fantasy

I Heard It Through the Grapevine

Eight Classic Signs of a Cheater

How to Handle a Cheater

Getting Things Right

A Guide to Recovery After an Affair

Four Vital Strategies to Avoid Becoming a Cheater Yourself

Summary

 7.
How to Find the Right Partner(s)—the Mating Rating Quiz

How Most Relationships Start

Matching with the Right Partner

Core Values and Beliefs

The Five Most Common “New-Relationship” Mistakes

The Mating Rating

The Mating Rating Quiz—How Do You Measure Up In the Marketplace?

How to Find a Great Partner

How to Change Your Love Life Forever

How to Play the Numbers Game with Your List

Who You Should Avoid

Clues About Mr./Ms. Wrong

When the Chemistry Is Wrong

The 9% Rule

Summary

 8.
Fifteen Mysteries About Men That Women Don’t Understand

1. 
Why Men Wake Up in the Morning with an Erection

2. 
Why Sex Can Be Just Sex for Men

3. 
The Nothing Room

4. 
Why Men Are Obsessed with Women’s Breasts

5. 
Why Men Won’t Tell the Truth to Women About Sex

6. 
Why Men Love Curvy Women

7. 
Why the G-Spot Is Like a UFO

8. 
Why It’s So Important to Men for Women to Initiate Sex

9. 
Why Men Get It So Wrong in Nightclubs

10.
When Is a Man Ready for Commitment or Marriage?

11.
Why Mature Men Wear Speedos in Public or Proudly Display a Potbelly

12.
Men and Their Fetishes

13.
What Men Worry About

14.
Why Men Have Difficulty Saying ‘I Love You’

15.
The Top Five Questions That Frighten Most Men

 9.
Twelve Truths About Women Most Men Don’t Know

1. 
What Women Want from Sex

2. 
Why Women So Rarely Initiate Sex

3. 
How to Make Women Want Sex More Often

4. 
Why Women Have Orgasms

5. 
Why Smart Women Are Often Fools in Love

6. 
Why Women Prefer Older Men

7. 
Why Women Want to Be Touched

8. 
Why Women Seem Distracted During Sex

9. 
How Women Perceive Sexual Aggression

10.
How Women View Sexual Harassment

11.
Why Women Fantasize About Bad, Bad Men

12.
Why So Many Women Prefer Chocolate to Sex

Summary

10.
Thirteen Tactics That Can Improve Your Mating Rating

Eight Things Men Can Do to Improve Their Rating with Women

How Men Criticize the Competition

Five Things Women Can Do to Increase Their Mating Rating

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