Why Now? (15 page)

Read Why Now? Online

Authors: Carey Heywood

This is how everyone knows what everyone is doing in a town like Ferncliff. Someone is always watching and someone is always talking.

“Okay, fine, Jake spent the night at Sydney’s. So what? That doesn’t mean anything happened between them.”

Reilly obviously needs her eyes checked. There is no way a guy as gorgeous as Jake would want me over Sydney Fairlane. She looks like a pin up model from the forties. I look like . . . well not that.

“Of course something happened between them,” I reply.

“It’s bullshit to jump to conclusions, Kace. I thought you were smarter than that. Also, I know my brother. There’s no way he would kiss you and say the things that he did if he didn’t mean them.”

Trust me; his words have been on a loop in my brain since last night.

“I don’t even know your brother, Reilly. How could I? He’s never here. And all of a sudden when I finally,” I have to take a breath because my throat starts to close up, “I finally move on, what does he do?” I don’t wait for her to reply. “He screws everything up.”

“Okay, fine. He screws everything up. But you can’t act as if you were unaffected. It’s why hearing he spent the night at Sydney’s upset you. But, honey, listen to me.” She takes my hands in hers. “There has to be a rational explanation for this.”

Pulling my hands away, I ask, “Then why did Heath get pissed when I told him?”

She folds her arms across her chest. “He was pissed because you were so upset you were crying. Which, I should point out, you were doing because you still care about Jake.”

Shaking my head I snap, “I do not; I would not talk to him again if he was the last man on earth.”

“That so?”

Reilly and I both gasp and look to the front door where Jake friggin’ Whitmore is standing.

Oh no.

No thank you.

Nu uh.

He can go fly a kite in a lightning storm with a little key tied to the string for all I care.

Moving past Reilly I head toward my bedroom but Jake cuts me off.

“I don’t know who is spreading that shit, but I did not sleep with Sydney Fairlane last night. All I did was crash on her couch because I figured Heath might smother me in my sleep if I went to his place or tried to sleep here. This morning I ate at the diner and then borrowed her car. I went and got supplies from Target so I can camp out at the house while repairs are being done. I met with some contractors and then Heath came and lost his shit on me. I ran a red light to beat Heath back here so he should be here any minute.”

As though his words were a summons, Heath appears in the doorway.

“Damn,” Jake mutters. “I should have locked it.” He turns to Reilly. “Speaking of, you shouldn’t be leaving your door unlocked.”

He looks back down at me, but my eyes are on Heath and the way he’s glaring at Jake. It’s then that I realize Jake didn’t just stand in my way but his hands are gripping my biceps.

Swallowing, I look away from Heath and up at Jake.

“Do you believe me?” He asks.

“I don’t understand you.” It’s not an answer to his question but it’s the best I can do at the moment.

“What don’t you understand, baby.”

Baby.

Holy crap, Jake Whitmore just called me baby. Not only that, but his voice softened on that word making it almost a verbal caress.

It’s ruined when Heath growls, “Did you just call her baby right in front of me?”

Taking a step back, Jake releases his hold on my arms.

Jake ignores him. “Nothing has ever happened between Sydney and me, ever. We are just friends. You on the other hand—“

He doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because Heath puts a hand on his shoulder and yanks him around.

“What the fuck are you doing? Are you going to ask her out on a date or something? Has it fucking slipped your mind that Kacey is engaged to me?”

Jake moves into Heath space and replies, “I’m not sure how clear I can be about this. I know the “arrangement” you’ve got, so stop throwing that fucking bullshit you’re engaged in my face like it means something.”

“It does mean something,” Heath growls.

“Stop this, both of you,” I cry, pushing my way between them.

Jake reaches for my hand and presses it to his chest. “This is insane, I get that, but all I want is a chance to talk to you.”

Heath hmpfs and Jake lifts his gaze to glare at him. “Got something to say, Mackey?”

“Yeah,” Heath fumes, taking my other hand. “There’s a reason you agreed to marry me, Ace. It’s because you know deep down we could make it work, and I’d do anything I could to make you happy. Do you honestly want to throw that away?”

Tugging my hands free from both of them, I take a step back. “This is too much.”

“All I want to do is talk to you,” Jake argues.

“I’m sure that’s all you want to do,” Reilly snorts from behind us.

“Reilly,” he snaps.

She lifts her hands. “What? It’s true.”

Jake ignores her and turns back to me. “I’d rather talk to you one-on-one, but if I need to do it with an audience so be it. There’s a reason you were so upset when you thought something happened with Sydney and me last night. You can say you’ve moved on until you’re blue in the face but you haven’t. We deserve a chance to explore whatever is happening between us. Yes, you’re engaged but it isn’t like you and Heath have been dating for ages or anything.”

“But Mrs. Mackey,” I argue, my gaze moving to Heath.

Heath’s face softens at my mention of his mom.

“Would you truly ignore this because you want to help Heath do something for his mom?”

Looking away from Heath and back to Jake I nod. “Jake, you haven’t seen her. It’s bad.”

He looks at Heath. “Are you in love with her?”

Heath hesitates but after a moment replies. “I do love her.”

“But like a friend,” Jake finishes for him. “You’re doing all of this for your mom but you have to know she wouldn’t want you to marry someone you weren’t in love with.”

“What makes you think we couldn’t get to that point?” Heath asks.

Jake only has eyes for me, though, and doesn’t look away when he replies, “I’m thinking it wouldn’t be a hardship.”

Did he just . . . say that?

Oh my God.

“Did you just say that?” I whisper.

His brows come together. “Say what?”

Stunned, I repeat, “That falling in love with me wouldn’t be a hardship?”

His confused expression vanishes and it’s replaced with a solemn one. “I did.”

With both of my hands, I push at his chest as hard as I can. He raises his hands in surprise and takes a step back so I push at him again. The step he took on my first push was more from surprise than my strength based on how little he moves with my second push.

“You suck, Jake Whitmore. You seriously suck.”

“What the hell, Killer?” he says, grabbing my hands to stop me from pushing him again.

“How dare you say it wouldn’t be hard to fall for me when that is all I’ve wanted you to do for years!”

Struggling against his hold, I try to slay him with one of those looks that can kill but fail because he’s still standing there.

“Kacey, I haven’t been here. It’s not like I’ve had any opportunity to,” he argues.

“You have,” I bite back, and pull at my arms some more. “Let me go.”

He only pulls me closer. “When have I?”

Ignoring his question, I repeat, “Let me go.”

“Let her go, Jake,” Heath rumbles next to us.

Turning his face to look at Heath, Jake opens his mouth as if he were going to say something but then snaps it shut.

Then he stares back down at me. “I’ll let you go if you promise to answer my question.”

“Fine,” I snap as he releases my hands.

Needing space, I cross the room and sit in the armchair, purposefully avoiding the sofa since I don’t want to sit next to anyone.

That doesn’t stop Jake from trying to invade my space. He follows me and sits on the sofa, the side closest to me.

Heath moves as well, coming to stand behind the armchair, his hands on the back of it.

Space was what I wanted but I’m still surrounded.

“Come on, Kacey, you promised,” Jake says after I make no move to speak.

Studying the chipped corner of our coffee table, I start. “You said that in the beginning you weren’t attracted to me because of our age difference. I get that. What I don’t understand is why you never acted interested after that. You said it was because you worked on the rig, and that makes sense but it also doesn’t.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t?” He pushes.

Closing my eyes, I steel myself to keep going to get everything out there. Opening my eyes, I stare right into his green ones. “It’s not like I wasn’t around every time you came home, Jake. You never looked twice at me, not once.”

He doesn’t look away when he replies, “Oh, I looked. Two years ago, you wore a green dress to Reilly’s birthday party. You leaned over near me and I saw your bra. There were flowers on it.”

I gasp, lifting my hand to cover my mouth.

“Do you remember how Reilly gave me shit for not taking the trash out when she asked?”

Hesitantly, I nod.

“I was so turned on with that one peek down your dress I was sitting there hard as a rock.”

“Jesus Christ,” Heath groans behind me while Reilly gags and moans, “Gross.”

“Shut it, Reilly,” Jake barks.

She waves one hand at the floor, the other pressed to her stomach as she frowns. “I just threw up in my mouth a little.”

All I can do is stare at Jake.

“Ignore them,” he says, his attention on me. “The Christmas before that, I gave you the gift certificate to Victoria’s Secret. The one that you couldn’t figure out who gave to you.”

“Why?” I blurt.

He shakes his head. “I’ve never been in a place where I could start something with you. That doesn’t mean I never wanted you and that it didn’t turn me on picturing you in something sexy you bought using a gift card I gave you. Then I would go back to my cell of a room and imagine a life where you and I could have given it a shot. There are two women I couldn’t stop thinking about in the past four years and last night I found out they were both you.”

Covering my eyes with my hands, I press my fingers against my closed lids and shake my head before pressing my hands to my cheeks.

“This is too much, Jake. I don’t know how to handle what you’re saying.”

“I do,” Heath snaps. “I’d ask him why any of this matters since, other than knowing you two kissed, none of the things that were keeping him from starting anything with you have changed. As soon as the house is settled he’s going right back to that rig.”

Jake stands and I have to lean back in my chair and crane my head to look at him but his eyes are trained on Heath. “What if I don’t go back this time?”

Oh my God.

“Would you really stay?” Reilly asks, while Heath says, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

He ignores both of them and sits back down, my eyes following his as he does. “Kacey, say something.”

Blinking, I reply, “I’m still processing what you just said. How? What about your job? Where would you live?”

He reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “I can’t work on that rig forever. The only thing that has been keeping me is the debt on the house. After all the work is done, if I can sell it, or at bare minimum, get it rented for enough to cover the mortgage, I can quit my job. I only took it for the money.”

“If it’s money that’s keeping you there, now that I have a salary will you finally let me help?” Reilly cuts in, coming to sit next to Jake on the couch.

He turns to look at her but doesn’t let go of my hand. “Reils, let’s see what the realtor says first. You’re still starting out. I don’t want you to have to worry about money.”

“Jake,” she huffs. “You need to learn how to accept help. It was my house, too and you paid my tuition. I owe you.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not arguing about this with you right now.”

Turning back to me, he tugs my hand towards him and covers it with his other hand, cocooning it. “Is my leaving the only thing holding you back from considering me?”

“Ace,” Heath interrupts and I twist my head to look back at him. “Will you walk me to my car?”

“Right now?” Jake asks, his face hardening.

Pulling my hand from Jake’s, I stand. “It’s okay. I’ll be right back.”

There’s a chance Heath wants privacy to try to convince me to go through with our wedding plans. He deserves that much. He also needs to know I’m not sure I can go through with it anymore.

There were a lot of things Jake said back there that I was thinking about. What he said about Heath’s mom not wanting him to marry someone he didn’t love in particular.

Mrs. Mackey is one of the sweetest women I’ve ever known and Jake was telling the truth. It would break her heart if she knew Heath was only marrying me to make her happy. Was Jake coming back to town when he did the universe’s way of stopping Heath and me from making a giant mistake?

This is marriage we’re talking about, loving and honoring your spouse for the rest of your lives. We were only engaged and I was making a mess of it.

At the door, Heath reaches for my hand. Without argument, I slip my hand in his. His hold is nice, comforting even, but there’s nothing in his touch that makes my body react the way Jake’s touch can.

Am I genetically conditioned to be an idiot when it came to Jake Whitmore? We walk in silence to Heath’s car. He hits the button on the fob to unlock it but doesn’t open the door. Instead, he leans his back against it and pulls me forward until I’m standing right in front of him with my body pressed to his.

“What do I have to do, Kace?”

My lips part. I think I know what he’s asking, but with everything that has happened over the last couple of days, I’m not sure.

Thankfully, he goes on. “What will it take to prove to you that I’m the right guy for you?”

His expression is so open, so earnest: it breaks my heart because I don’t know what to do. With him, I know how my life could be. After the wedding, I’d move into his apartment with him and then after a year or two of saving up, we’d buy a house. It’d probably have a white picket fence and we’d end up having 2.5 kids and a dog. My life would be safe. My life would be secure.

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