Authors: Karolyn Cairns
Tags: #romance, #suspense, #historical, #intrigue, #intrigue adult fiction beach read chick lit under 100 friends turned lovers eroticaamazoncom barnesandnoblecom sandeewatkinscom, #intrigue treachery
Gabriel pulled him out of his
self-pitying depression and forced him to go after his wife. He
didn’t know why Gabriel did this for him. He vowed one day he’d
return the favor if he could. The thought of not seeing his child
born, making Catherine go through it all alone, made him grit his
teeth. The journey aboard ship seemed to take forever.
Nicholas arrived at Dunleavy Hall a
week later in a rented coach. He eyed the old estate his wife grew
up at with wonder as the coach rolled along the well-manicured
lane, eyeing the massive house with trepidation as they
approached.
When the coach stopped in front of the
doors to the manor, he paid the driver and gave him a healthy tip
before he retrieved his valise and knocked upon the
door.
A man so old it was a wonder he was
still breathing answered the door. Nicholas glared as he repeated
his name twice. He found himself shouting down at the
butler.
Winthrop glared up at him. “Ye don’t
have to be so bleedin’ loud. I’m not deaf, ye know.”
Nicholas was showed into the house. He
wasn’t prepared for the richness of the place, feeling out of sorts
at the sight, despite growing up within the Van Ryker’s
residence.
The history of the place dated back
five centuries. The main house was torn down and rebuilt over the
years but still retained a touch of the past everywhere he looked.
Every portrait of the former Earl’s of Dunleavy lined the main
hall, staring down at him disapprovingly. The newest was
Catherine’s father. He would have known him anywhere. Those
penetrating green eyes stared down at him and he fought a feeling
of unworthiness.
He was greeted by a housekeeper named
Mrs.Treadmore. She was tugging on her mobcap as she joined him in
the hall. “Lady Catherine is still abed, sir. What is the nature of
your business?” she asked with a disgruntled look that disappeared
when he told her who he was.
Her merry brown eyes lit up. Before he
knew it, he was led up the curving mahogany staircase to his wife’s
room. “Just go on in, Mr. Van Ryker. She’d be pleased to know ye be
here.”
“
Thank you,” he replied as
the housekeeper left him.
Nicholas opened the door quietly,
careful not to wake her. The room was large and cozy, decorated in
muted pastels. He saw old treasures from her childhood adorning
shelves and bureaus. A choked feeling in his chest assailed him as
he put his valise down and looked to the bed.
Catherine slept on her side, a slight
frown marring her brow. He drew near and reached down and pushed a
raven curl from her face. She sighed and her green eyes opened,
staring up at him in happiness first, then anger. She sat up with
effort. He was relieved to see she’d not had their child
yet.
“
What brings you here,
Nicholas? Tired of running the streets of London? Or is it only me
complaining of it that makes it so appealing to you?” she asked in
a biting tone. She enjoyed the flush upon his face at her waspish
words.
“
You told me to come when I
felt like playing husband,” he reminded her, his blue eyes
darkening in anger. “The time is now. Get dressed. We must
talk.”
He left her to dress as he waited
below. She arrived in minutes, looking adorable as she waddled down
the stairs in her bedclothes. She looked harassed and hadn’t
bothered to comb her hair in her haste to join him.
He chuckled at her disheveled
appearance and earned a scowl from his wife. Winthrop opened the
doors for them and they went outside. They kept walking. At first
Nicholas said nothing. They stopped on a hill overlooking the
pasture. He sat in the grass, drawing her down beside
him.
~ ~ ~
Nicholas looked somber. She bit her
lip, fearing what he would say, but longing to hear what had him so
distraught the last six months. He plucked at blades of grass and
then he began to speak, looking away as he told her. She gasped at
his words. He refused to look at her.
He continued telling her of the horrors
of his childhood until he broke off and looked down, his hands
shaking at her continued silence. Catherine couldn’t see as tears
blurred her vision. Sobs caught in her throat at what was done to
her husband, of his being too scared to share such degrading
circumstances with her.
Catherine realized his fear she’d be
repulsed by him. She felt rage at what his own mother did to him
and longed to make the shaking in his hands stop. She saw him bury
his face in them now, a low moan escaping his tightly clenched
lips.
She hugged him to her fiercely like one
of their children, her hot tears falling in a torrent as she wept
and held him. Her hands stroked his hair soothingly as she felt his
shoulders shaking under her cheek. She said nothing as she held
him, rocking him in her arms, her eyes closed tightly as he spent
his grief on her at last. She looked into his eyes and he saw no
disgust there, only sadness and grief.
“
You were afraid to tell me?
You thought me thinking you were with another woman was
preferable?”Catherine asked incredulously, her lips kissing the
lone tear upon his rugged cheek, knowing what it had cost him to
confess these ugly things to her. She reached up and touched both
his cheeks, her green eyes tearful as they met his. “I love you,
Nicholas. What happened to you when you were a child hardly makes
me love you any less. I know the reason for the nightmares now.
Don’t ever keep anything from me again. I can handle such things.
You have to trust me, my love. Oh, how you’ve suffered with
this!”She pressed against his chest, holding him tightly, feeling
his trembling ease. Nicholas said nothing and looked at her with a
look of gratitude. She knew he was too fragile to speak any more of
it. They sat there for a time upon the hill, enjoying the quiet of
the morning.
“
There’s more I’m afraid to
say.” He stared over his brother-in-law’s lands with a pensive
frown.
“
What is it?” she asked,
eyes wide seeing his face taut with rage. “You must tell me
all.”
“
The men who did this to me
live. It was Lord Rudd and his cronies. I believe you met them all
at the Billingsley ball last year,” Nicholas told her in a low,
menacing voice. “I can’t be whole until I know such monsters can
never hurt another child, Catherine. I found out their names, where
they frequent. I’ve followed them many times. That’s where I went
those nights. I plan to kill them all.”
Catherine’s eyes widened at his words.
She grabbed his hand and held it tightly, fear filling her at his
words. “What does it solve if you kill them?” she asked in a harsh
tone. “Does it change the past for you? Do you think Lilly dying by
the hangman’s noose took away any of my pain? It didn’t! The pain
will never go away!”
“
I can’t live with this
knowing he’s out there,” Nicholas snarled, his handsome face
twisted into a grimace. “The thought of him doing these things
haunts me. I can’t sit back and do nothing.”
“
Then expose them! Find
proof of their crimes and send them to prison. If you kill them,
you’re as much a monster as them,” Catherine told him, grabbing his
cheek and forcing him to look at her once more. “I know you can’t
forget, but killing them all won’t make it better. I know only too
well how unsatisfying revenge can be. I wept the day Lilly went to
the gallows. I hated her for what she did to me. Don’t you
see?”
“
Gabriel agrees with me in
this, Catherine,” Nicholas informed her in a hoarse voice, seeing
the way her green eyes narrowed. “Rudd is a Duke. Do you think
he’ll go to court for his crimes? I went to him when I saw his name
on Clarice’s list. I told him all I knew of his crimes. Do you know
what he said? He laughed at me. He told me no one would ever
believe a piece of scum from White Chapel and he’s
right.”
Catherine felt her anger rising as she
heard him, deflated to know he was correct. Lord Rudd was
untouchable, extremely wealthy, and very dangerous to all of them
now. He knew Nicholas had evidence against him. She felt fear
clutch at her heart. She knew too well what heartless nobles would
do to protect themselves.
“
You can’t fight him,
Nicholas,” she warned. “He’s too powerful. When we return to London
we’ll close the house and go back to the island. I’ll not worry the
man will come after us now.”
“
I’ll not run from him,
Catherine. I’ve run all my life from these things. I pretended all
never happened until I saw his name on that damned list. Do you
think running will make me feel better?” Nicholas asked, covering
her hand. “Gabriel is helping me.”
“
You and Gabriel had a plan
to catch Lilly. Do you remember how that worked out?” she reminded
him, seeing him flinch when they recalled the assassins sent after
her repeatedly. “You can’t win this, my love. You must let it
go.”
“
I’ll send you and the
children into hiding and we’ll get him, Catherine,” Nicholas said
in determination, his blue eyes filled with resolve.
Catherine sighed and her shoulders
sagged. She looked out over Dunleavy, tears blinding her gaze. Just
when she thought they would have peace in their lives; there was
this. She looked over at him, her face filled with dread at being
parted from him.
“
I’ll do whatever you say,
my love,” she said softly and he grabbed her and brought her to his
chest, his hand sliding into her long hair. He tilted her face up
and kissed her, looking down at her with a trace of wickedness in
his eyes.
“
While I’m here playing
husband; you can surely make our time together memorable, my
sweet,” he whispered into her ear, his warm breath tickling her
ear. She giggled and pulled him down to her lips and sighed as
their eyes met.
“
I’m due to have our child
any day and you wish to play husband? It would seem to me, all that
playing is what got me into this condition,” she said and he smiled
and kissed her knuckles, his eyes filled with love.
“
That was merely practice,
my love,” he replied in a seductive voice, his eyes darkening as
they met hers. “We’ve yet to play seriously.” He stood up then,
drawing her up, a questioning look in his eyes. “Does our daughter
still wake early or am I to wait until bedtime to show you how much
I’ve missed you?”
She giggled as they walked back to the
manor, hand in hand. She’d already told the nurse to keep the
children occupied that morning on her way down to see her husband.
He reached down and plucked a flower from a bush they passed. She
accepted one of her mother’s precious roses, smiled as his eyes met
hers, shivering with the look of longing in his eyes.
Gabriel scowled as he realized his
plans to go to Amberley were stalled by problems. He’d meant to go
there after Lillianne’s trial, thinking of enjoying the peace and
sighed in disappointment. A never ending stream of troubles plagued
his other estates and now Nicholas unleashed a powder keg in his
lap. Bloody hell, he’d gone too long without a woman
too.
He thought of Catherine and refused to
give into his melancholy to know she could never be his. She loved
her husband. The woman he once held in his arms and cherished like
no other was gone, ripped away from him by his conniving wife. The
past haunted him daily when she came to the residence to visit
their three year-old son.
Giles called her Mama and went to her
over him. It pleased him to have her there. He found himself
waiting for her, watching the mantle clock until her coach arrived
each day. He knew this love he had for her was absurd in light of
her marriage to Nicholas. Still, in the cold recesses of his heart,
he was warmed to see the growing light of awareness in those green
eyes.
She was remembering more each day,
though he knew she’d never speak of it. They danced around
discussing the past. He wooed her in other ways, telling her
amusing stories about their son’s babyhood that she missed. They
walked in the gardens and went on picnics with their child. He knew
it tortured Nicholas and he enjoyed tormenting his friend and
rival.
Late at night the memories of them
together frustrated him, making him get up and seek solace in his
brandy. Constance failed to dispel his desire for Catherine
anymore. She was growing to be an obsession he couldn’t rid himself
of. No other woman appealed to him. She’d ruined him for
another.
Depression made his dark eyes close
briefly from the loneliness he felt. He knew it was pointless to
harbor such feelings for her now. It was time that he got on with
his life. She was lost to him. Why did he pine for her still? Was
this love?
He snorted in disgust, despite knowing
Maggie would give him dirty looks, he got up and poured himself a
brandy. It was barely noon. She fretted over his drinking spirits
before the dinner hour. He hid in his study to avoid his
housekeeper.
Even Maggie knew he had his own
troubles these days. She stayed out of the issues between her
former employer and him. He knew she felt disloyal continuing to
work for him and not Nicholas. She told him on more than one
occasion to keep her out of it. She blamed Catherine for it all,
despite knowing the circumstances.
Gabriel told himself he needed to get
back into society, but despaired at the thought of it. His
reputation was in tatters thanks to Lillianne. The furor over the
Countess of Iverleigh going to the gallows back in January hardly
faded. It was often whispered and speculated if he would ever
remarry. His mother wrote often and implored him to seek a wife.
His son was now branded a bastard by all. His rage over it could
not change one depressing fact. He had no heir now.