Authors: M.C. Beaton
‘Have I said something I ought not to?’ asked Sarah, peering up from the long poke of her bonnet like a ferret staring out of its hole. ‘You look so very angry.’
‘I think my spleen is disordered.’
Both Sarah and Annabelle murmured noises of sympathy. Everything out of sorts was put down to disorders of the spleen.
Even Harriet began to show some interest. ‘My friend, Miss Spencer, suffers badly from such a disorder,’ she said. ‘She went to Bath to take the waters, and she said they were most efficacious.’
‘Thank you,’ said the marquess dryly. ‘If my problem becomes worse I shall repair to Bath.’
Harriet lowered her eyes again before the rather predatory gleam in his, not realizing they had had their first marital quarrel in the marquess’s imagination.
Carriages began to stop beside theirs. First Lord and Lady Phillips, then the Baroness Villiers, then Mrs Cramp with her daughters, and then none other than the Countess Lieven, one of the most formidable patronesses of Almack’s. Harriet braced herself to be on her best and most modest behaviour, when the marquess performed the introductions, and was delighted to notice that Annabelle and Sarah seemed to please the grande dame mightily, perhaps because, although Harriet would not quite admit this to herself, the Countess Lieven obviously liked toad-eaters.
Feeling that vouchers to the all-important Almack’s assembly rooms were now secure, Harriet felt quite dizzy with success and gave the marquess such a glowing smile that he smiled back and began to forget that he had ever vowed to cut her dead.
But by the time he returned them to Clarges Street, he felt he was regaining some of his sanity. It would be cruel to try to cut Gilbert out with the pretty chaperone unless his own affections were seriously engaged. Once well away from Harriet, he felt free of her spell. The best thing he could do for Gilbert, Lord Vere, was to leave the field open to him.
But the Marquess of Huntingdon was to become embroiled in Miss Metcalf’s affairs sooner than he thought.
Joseph, while they had all been in Hyde Park, had been taking Beauty for a walk in the Green Park. He had not wanted to take the dog out. Lizzie was on her feet again and beginning to look a little better, but Joseph was frightened the others would howl at him for his selfishness should he suggest the scullery maid walk the dog.
Beauty was not the quiet and chastened animal he had been before. He strutted and pranced, his mean little eyes flashing to right and left. Joseph let him off the leash in the Green Park and strolled over to where his friend, Luke, the first footman from next door, was taking the air.
‘Got no work to do?’ asked Joseph.
‘Was sent over Kensington way with a note for Mr Johnstone,’ said Luke, kicking the grass. ‘Thought I’d walk about a bit. Old Blenkinsop’s waiting with piles o’ silver for me to clean.’ Blenkinsop was the next door’s butler. ‘Wot you a-doin’ of?’
‘Walking that dog,’ said Joseph. ‘Where’s he gone, by the way? Oh, lor’!’
For Beauty was on the other side of the reservoir in full cry after an Irish wolfhound. The wolfhound was grabbed and rescued by its furious master, who held Beauty off with his whip until Joseph and Luke came running up. Joseph leashed Beauty and with many fulsome apologies tried to allay the wrath of the wolfhound’s owner.
When all had quietened down again, Joseph glared down at Beauty and said to Luke, ‘Hold his leash. I’m going to give this pox of an animal a thrashing.’
‘Leave him be,’ said Luke, flushed with excitement. ‘Here, boy.’ He fished in a pocket of his livery and drew out a chocolate, which Beauty snapped up and then sat, panting for more.
‘You lost your wits?’ demanded Joseph furiously.
‘Naw, that there h’animal’s money, sacks and sacks of it.’
‘Garn,’ said Joseph, who had given up trying to be genteel in Luke’s company.
‘Streuth, swelp me if it ain’t,’ said Luke. ‘This here dog is a fighter and there’s a dog-fight over on the Surrey side. Champion Killer takes all-comers.’
‘What’s in it for us?’
‘A purse of fifty pound, not to mention what we could pick up on side bets. This dog don’t look like much. But see the teeth on him!’
Joseph bent down to inspect Beauty’s teeth, and Beauty snarled horribly and backed away.
‘It’s difficult,’ said Joseph, straightening up. ‘Fact is, that animal’s taken agin me. It’d savage me before we got it over Westminster Bridge.’
‘Joseph!’ called a female voice.
‘Lizzie,’ said Joseph gloomily. ‘Always following me around.’
But the change in Beauty was instant. He wagged his tail furiously and strained at the leash.
Luke stroked his chin thoughtfully. ‘There’s one person he likes,’ he said. ‘Let him off the leash.’
Once more Joseph slipped the leash, and Beauty bounded towards Lizzie, uttering ecstatic yips, and then leapt up and down trying to lick her face.
‘Good dog,’ said Lizzie. ‘Now, lie down.’
Beauty immediately lay down on the grass and stared up at her with adoring eyes.
‘Mr Rainbird sent me out to get some fresh air, Mr Joseph,’ said Lizzie shyly. ‘Good afternoon, Mr Luke.’
She dropped the other footman a curtsy.
‘I’ve got something private to say to Joseph,’ said Luke. ‘Could you please take the dog for a little walk, Lizzie? He seems to like you.’
Lizzie nodded and took the leash from Joseph and set off down the park with Beauty prancing at her heels.
‘Now, if we could get Lizzie to come along with us,’ said Luke, ‘we’d see some famous sport.’
‘She’d never take mistress’s pet to a dog fight,’ exclaimed Joseph.
‘She wouldn’t know till we got there,’ said Luke impatiently, ‘and then she would be part of the plot and she’d have to keep her trap shut.’
‘But how can I get the evening off . . . let alone take Lizzie with me? How can you get off?’
‘I’ll spin Blenkinsop some yarn or other. Now, look here, you told me they fuss a lot over that scullery maid and that she’s been ill and caused a fuss what with getting her cordials and a new bed and all.’
‘Yes, I told you that.’
‘Why not tell Rainbird we’re taking her out for a little walk and we may as well take the dog. It’s only the other side of the bridge. One ten-minute round and we’ll run home.’
‘I dunno,’ said Joseph, looking worried.
‘Fifty pounds, ’member, not to mention the bets.’
Joseph made up his mind. ‘Very well,’ he said. ‘But I don’t like tricking Lizzie.’
‘You spoony about her?’
‘A scullery maid? Me?’ demanded Joseph with awful hauteur. ‘I wouldn’t lower meself.’
Luke saw Lizzie standing a little way off, eyeing them wistfully. He called her over.
‘Look, Lizzie,’ said Luke. ‘I’ve been hearing as how you’ve been ill.’
Lizzie flushed with pleasure to think her adored Joseph had actually talked about her to his best friend.
‘Well, see here,’ Luke went on heartily, ‘Joseph and I were thinking of taking a little stroll just over Westminster Bridge tonight and wondered if you would like to take the air with us. May as well take that dog along. It’s one way of making sure the mistress and Mr Rainbird give Joseph permission.’
‘Oh, I would love to go,’ said Lizzie, beginning to tremble with excitement. ‘D’ye think Mrs Middleton will let me go, Joseph?’
Joseph frowned, thinking Lizzie was getting above herself. He liked her to call him ‘Mr Joseph’ in front of Luke.
‘Matters will be arranged,’ said Joseph loftily. He moved off with Luke, and Lizzie followed behind, leading Beauty.
Miss Metcalf was delighted when Rainbird appeared before her to request permission that Lizzie and Joseph should be allowed time off that evening to take the air and to walk Beauty. Harriet had secured tickets for the play-house for herself and the girls. She always felt guilty about having a pet such as Beauty and could only be glad that these town servants appeared to have accepted the dog’s existence without question. Much as she longed to take Beauty for walks herself, she did not want to bring the censure of the
ton
down upon her head and therefore spoil Annabelle’s and Sarah’s chances of a successful Season.
And Beauty was a peculiar-looking pet. The aristocracy kept monkeys, parrots, or pugs as pets, for in these harsh times only the very rich could afford the luxury of being sentimental about animals. Dogs such as Beauty were meant to earn their keep by either ratting or turning a spit. Not wanting to be damned as eccentric, Harriet tried most of the time to hide her real love for the animal.
Lizzie dressed in her best gown and brushed her hair until she had nearly restored it to its usual shiny lustre. She tied up her tresses with one much-prized scarlet silk ribbon and polished the tin buckles on her shoes. But so great was her excitement that a hectic colour rose in her cheeks and she nearly burst into tears when Alice, Jenny, and Mrs Middleton started to debate the wisdom of her going out at all.
But soon the magic moment actually arrived and she was out in Clarges Street flanked by Luke and Joseph, surely, thought Lizzie proudly, two of the most handsome men in London.
To her surprise, Luke led the way down to the mews at the bottom of Clarges Street. He said Joseph had suggested they hire a gig for an hour, as Lizzie might find a walk too much in her frail condition, and Lizzie looked up at Joseph with eyes like stars, amazed that her hero should go to so much trouble to look after her.
No sooner were they in Lambeth Mews than Beauty took exception to the horse when it was being harnessed to the gig and tried to savage it. Luke cried to Joseph to hold Beauty, and, whipping out a piece of thin rope, bound up the dog’s jaws.
‘Must you do that?’ cried Lizzie. ‘He looks so distressed.’ Lizzie did not care much for animals one way or another. She petted the kitchen cat because it was Joseph’s, but fondness for animals was a sophisticated luxury she could not afford. The Moocher earned his keep by being a mouser par excellence. A dog such as Beauty, who lolled around doing nothing, was a disgrace. But Lizzie adored the gentle and sweet Miss Metcalf, and there was something almost human about the panic in Beauty’s wildly rolling little eyes.
Beauty was thrown on the floor of the gig. Lizzie sat beside Joseph and Luke sat in front, holding the reins.
Lizzie began to feel a twinge of unease. Both Luke and Joseph smelled strongly of spirits and had a strung-up air about them. They appeared to have forgotten that the outing was in her honour, and when Luke swung the gig round into Piccadilly and Lizzie was thrown against Joseph’s shoulder, the footman pushed her roughly away.
When they got out onto Westminster Bridge, it was to find it crammed with traffic. Everyone appeared to be going to Vauxhall Gardens. Down on the floor, Beauty let out a low whine of distress. He was feeling sick with the stop, start, and stop-again movement of the gig, and Luke had bound the rope about his jaws very tightly.
‘Please may I unmuzzle Beauty?’ said Lizzie. ‘He is very quiet now.’
‘Suppose we’d better keep him in plump currant,’ said Luke, turning round and winking at Joseph. ‘He can’t do anything, not now we’re in the carridge.’
Lizzie untied the rope from about Beauty’s mouth. Beauty shifted restlessly and growled.
‘Quiet,’ said Joseph. Beauty looked up at Joseph with hate in his eyes. He blamed Joseph for his own discomfort, and the footman smelled faintly of cat. Beauty bared his teeth.
Joseph leaned down to cuff the dog, and Beauty seized his black velvet sleeve and tore savagely. Joseph let out a scream of outrage.
Beauty leapt from the slowly moving gig and vanished into the crowd, his leash trailing behind him.
Luke swore and swung the gig across the traffic to try to follow the dog. There was a sickening scratching sound as the gig slid along the side of an aristocratic carriage, leaving a long score in the varnish.
‘Oh, Gawdstreuth!’ swore Luke, who recognized not only the carriage but also the choleric face glaring out of the open window at him.
It was his master, Lord Charteris.
‘What are you doing here?’ screamed his lordship. ‘No, don’t answer. Bound to be a lie. Tell Blenkinsop to take the money out of your wages to pay for the revarnishing of my carriage and present yourself before me tomorrow in my study at two o’clock in the afternoon.’
Before Luke could say anything, Lord Charteris slammed up the glass and rapped on the roof with his cane as a signal to his coachman to drive on.
‘Well, that’s that,’ said Luke, swinging the carriage round. ‘I told old Blenkinsop I was going to see my granny in Euston what’s supposed to be dying.’
‘And he swallowed that?’ exclaimed Joseph. ‘You told Blenkinsop last year when we went to Ascot that you was at your gran’s funeral.’
‘Stow it,’ muttered Luke miserably.
‘We can’t go away and leave Beauty,’ cried Lizzie.
‘Oh, yes we can,’ said Joseph savagely. ‘You’ll never catch him now. Me, I don’t care if he’s drowned.’
Lizzie leapt from the gig, stumbling slightly as she regained her balance on the road, and then ran off into the crowd.
‘Let her go,’ said Luke. ‘She won’t find the dog, and it ain’t too far for her to get back.’
Joseph felt he ought to get down and go after Lizzie. But Joseph considered small feet aristocratic and was wearing his best shoes, which were two sizes too small for him. His toes throbbed and ached. He would have to tell some lies when he got back. But Lizzie would not let him down. She never did.
Lizzie ran to one of the bays on the bridge and looked across to Stangate on the south side of the River Thames. Sure enough, there was Beauty. Two youths caught at his leash and began to drag him away. With a cry of alarm, Lizzie set off running again. She ran down along Stangate, along Fore Street, until, in the fading light, she saw Beauty ahead, still being dragged along by the youths.
Beauty had had enough. He had just recovered from the shock of having found himself dragged roughly along. Enough was enough. He turned about and sank his teeth into the ankle of one of the youths, who let out a scream of pain and dropped Beauty’s leash. Beauty smelled trees and flowers and grass, all the scents of the country, all the scents of home. He scampered off as fast as he could, straight past the turnstile at the entrance to Vauxhall Gardens, and ran into the trees and lay down, luxuriating in his freedom.