Wicked Innocence (5 page)

Micah

I woke early Monday morning, and the first thing I did was call the diner and resign. Marlon was annoyed at my lack of notice, but with the band going on tour there wasn’t much I could do about it.

Hanging up, I called Dee to arrange to meet her for coffee. We still hadn’t caught up since she’d deserted me at the bar on Friday night. Not that I was still annoyed…well, not much, anyway.

We had a regular spot where we liked to meet at least every couple of weeks. It was inside one of the fancier hotels in Hollywood. When you spent all day working at a diner, it was nice to experience something with a little more class. The Sheridan fit that bill perfectly.

I pushed my way through the revolving door that led into the lobby of the hotel. No matter how many times I came here, the place took my breath away. With its high ceilings, chandeliers, and rare artwork hanging on the walls, it was everything I wasn’t: classy, elegant, and decadent. Still, no matter how out of place I felt, it was nice to dream every now and then.

Dee was sitting in our usual spot by the window. She waved when she saw me.

“Hey,” she grinned, combing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “I’ve ordered already.”

I nodded. We always got the same: a high tea, complete with tiny cakes and sandwiches, all placed delicately on a tall serving platter. It was very un-American, which was what we loved about it.

I sat down, smoothing out my cream-colored sweater, and reached for my glass of water.

“So, what happened to you?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

“I’m sorry, M. There was this guy and we got talking…” She smiled and I rolled my eyes. “He was really nice, and we ended up back at his place. I’ll pay you back the cab fare,” she added, reaching for her purse.

“Don’t worry about it,” I grumbled, blushing.

“Why not…” Her voice trailed off as her eyes narrowed. “What aren’t you telling me, Micah?”

“I don’t even know where to start. I got the job.” I put up my hand to hush her celebrations. “I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.”

“It gets better than that?” she asked, her eyes wide.

I giggled. “It does when your new manager is Saxon Waite.”

“No
way
. You’re kidding. You’re joking, aren’t you? Is this some kind of weird payback for leaving you stranded? Am I being Punk'd?” she accused glancing around for signs of a camera crew and Ashton. We
were
in LA after all.

If I knew how to make that happen, it was so the kind of thing I would do to her, especially after ditching me after my first public performance.

I laughed as she reached across the table and grabbed my hand.
If her eyes get any wider they’ll pop out of her head.

“Oh my God, Micah. Saxon Waite? Holy crap! What did you say to him? How did he look? Is he still sexy as hell? I can’t believe this,” she muttered, shaking her head.

My phone beeped. I reached into my pocket and glanced at it. I bit my lip and smiled.

“What?” she demanded, leaning forward anxiously in her chair. I held up my phone to her and showed her the message from Sax.

Hey Micah. If you’re free, could you come over today? You know where I live.

“No!” she gasped.

I burst into laughter, nodding in amusement. Her reaction was pure gold. I couldn’t have scripted it better.

“I’m so fucking jealous. You’ve been to his
house
?”

“We rehearse there,” I giggled.

“You’ll be there all the time then,” she said with a dreamy sigh. “God, I’m so freaking jealous. I wish it was me.”

I laughed again. “I’ve heard you sing. You sound like a dying cat.”

“Gee, thanks,” she grumbled, throwing a dirty look at me.

“So tell me about this guy you went home with,” I said, raising my eyebrows. “Will you be seeing him again?”

“No,” snorted Dee, reaching for a miniature chocolate cupcake. “Let’s just say his performance was less than adequate.” I giggled and she shrugged. “Life’s too short for bad sex. Am I right? Speaking of sex, can you imagine what Saxon Waite would be like under the covers?” She sighed dreamily.

“Stop!” I ordered her, covering my ears. “I cannot think about him like that. Music first. Music always comes first. Besides, he’s so much older than me and not interested in the slightest.”

“Then why did he drive you home?” she argued.

“Because my stupid friend left me stranded?” I shot back.

“No, he could’ve thrown you into a cab or something. Guys don’t go that far out of your way unless they’re interested. Why are you still sitting here, anyway? Aren’t you dying to know why he asked you over to his house?
I’m
dying to know.”

“It’s weighing on my mind a little bit,” I admitted. “But we just got here.”

Dee waved her arm. “We can catch up anytime. Go. Then call me,” she added with a grin.

I didn’t need to be told twice. Standing up, I gathered my things together and blew her a kiss before I walked out of the hotel.

Pulling up outside his house, I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest again. Just the thought of seeing him again had me in a mess.
How long is this little infatuation thing going to last, because I could really use a break.
It was so hard to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing when all I could think about was what I wanted to do to him.

“Hey,” Saxon said as he swung open the door.

Oh God, he looked good. The faded jeans and an old Rolling Stones tee shirt he wore suited him. I tore my eyes away from his muscular, tattooed biceps and smiled at him.

“Come on in. Can I get you a drink?” he asked.

“Sure, thanks. A soda would be nice.”

I followed him into the kitchen, sliding onto one of the two barstools at the counter. My heart pounded as I took in the silence of the house. He’d made needing to see me sound pretty urgent, and I couldn’t help but stress over what he wanted to talk to me about. He couldn’t know…could he?

“So, you asked to see me,” I reminded him.

“Yes. Hold on, I know it’s here somewhere…” He scratched the back of his neck and glanced around him. “What the fuck did I do with it? Wait, I think I left it in my office. Hold on for a sec.”

I took a sip of my drink as he darted out of the room. A few minutes later he reappeared clutching a handful of papers. My eyes widened as he thrust them at me.

“This is all just standard shit. I need to see your ID—otherwise I could get into deep shit if you turned out to be underage and I’m taking you into bars and shit.”

“You couldn’t have given me all this tomorrow at rehearsal?” I asked. It seemed like a pretty weak reason to get me over to his house.
Maybe he wanted to see me for another reason…

Or maybe that was just my hopeful, hormonal teenage mind going into overdrive again.

“Sure I could have,” he said. “But we have a lot riding on this tour and I need to get things in order. Excuse me if I want to protect my investment.”

“Your investment?” I repeated, my voice dry. What was I, a cow being fattened up ready for sale?

He rolled his eyes. “Settle down, will you? I wasn’t referring to you. I’ve put a lot of work into getting this band noticed. This tour could really open some doors. You think this is all about me trying to impress you or something, but believe me, I don’t need to try that hard to get women.”

Of course he didn’t. I bet all he had to do was introduce himself. Or flash one of those sexy smiles…

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Why the hell would Saxon Waite be into
me
?

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, embarrassed.

He chuckled, the bastard. I shuffled down from the barstool and wandered into the dining room. He loved seeing me squirm. I tried to ignore him as I stalked over to the table and snatched the set list from it. Focusing way too hard on the piece of paper in front of me, I prayed for him to change the subject.

“Okay,” he said, seemingly happier. “Those are the songs you’ll need to learn. I want you listening to them while you sleep, I want you breathing them when you’re awake. Every word, every pause, you need to know. And on top of that, you need to bring a little of yourself into them. There’s nothing worse than being able to tell the person singing isn’t into the song. You need to feel it. Make sense?”

I nodded. I’d been writing songs since I was eight. It had helped me deal with some pretty dark experiences. If there was one thing I knew how to do, it was feel the music. That was the beauty of singing: it was so easy to immerse myself in another world.

“Good.” He nodded. “Now go home. Get some rest and be back here two hours before rehearsal so we can go over where you’re at.”

“Got it.”

***

I sat on the floor of my room trying to block out the noise that was Nelson playing World of Warcraft. Surrounding me were all the song sheets I needed to learn. I knew most of them word for word, but it was getting the tone and singing in tune with the guys that I had to focus on.

I picked up a sheet and stood up. Grabbing my iPad, I tugged my sweatpants off and climbed under the covers, running through my track list until I found “Love Unrequited” and pressed play. I hummed along to the previous singer, Natasia, and mimicking her vocals.

An hour later, I’d had enough. I knew I was getting it, but I felt like I was trying to learn too much too fast. All the songs were beginning to blend into one.

I need a break.

Reaching up, I yanked the earphones from my ears and tossed them on the floor. Reaching over to my nightstand, I grabbed my half read copy of
Sizzle
, by Lexi Buchanan. I didn’t get time to read as much as I would’ve liked, but even
I
couldn’t resist a hot rock star.

Sax

“Sax!”

I laughed as Stace barreled down hallway and crashed into me, her arms flying around my neck. She looked beautiful in a purple sleeveless dress. Her blonde hair had been straightened, hanging halfway down her back.

“I can’t believe you came,” she added with a cheeky grin.

“As if I’d miss my kid sister’s birthday. Eighteen, Stace. You’re growing up.”

“It’s just a number,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. She slipped her hand inside mine and dragged me down the hallway. “It’s not like I can drink or anything. No difference to yesterday, really. Besides, if we start focusing on the numbers, then by your age we’d start getting really depressed.”

“Watch it,” I growled.

She howled as I messed up her hair. “Do you know how long I spent doing my hair this morning?” she complained.

“That’s what happens when you make fun of me,” I chuckled. “But seriously, happy birthday, Stace.”

“You being here is the best present I could’ve asked for,” she said, hugging me again. “I know how packed your Thursday nights can be,” she added sassily.

“If you’re going to be a smartass, I guess I can return the freaking awesome gift I found you,” I teased.

“Well, there are some perks,” she admitted with a grin. “Mom will be happy to see you,” she added. “Come on. Everyone is here already.”

We walked down through the kitchen and outside onto our parents’ huge deck. Overlooking their perfectly manicured gardens, the deck was set up as elegantly as I would’ve expected, just like any other time my mother had planned a party.

“Mom, Dad—Sax is here!”

I cringed as Stace announced my presence. I would have much preferred to just sneak in unnoticed and work my way up to acknowledging everyone, but now I was standing there with everyone staring at me.

“Sax,” Mom gushed. She rushed over and threw her arms around me.

I laughed and squeezed her back as she peppered kisses over my face. You’d think she hadn’t seen me in years. It was only last fucking week.

“How are you? So glad you could come. I know how busy you are,” she said with a smile. “Kate,” she said, turning to a woman about her age that had been standing behind us. “This is my son, Saxon.”

“Lovely to meet you.” Kate took my hand and shook it, her dark eyes twinkling as she smiled. “Your mother talks about you all the time.”

“Really?” I grinned.

Stace rolled her eyes and dragged me away. “You’d think you were the only one in this family to have accomplished anything,” she grumbled, her mouth screwed up into a pout. “Never mind the fact that I got into U Penn on a freaking full academic scholarship.”

“Come on, Stace, don’t be jealous,” I laughed, throwing my arm around her. “Trust me, I’d much rather be ignored and left to do my own thing.”

“I guess they do hound you, don’t they?” she admitted. “But things seem better since you started working with the band again, right?”

“Sure, but only because it gives them something to brag about.” I gave her a squeeze and kissed her forehead. “It’s your birthday. We are not doing this today, okay? Today’s all about you.”

“Uh-huh, well tell that to Mom and Dad,” she sniggered, pulling away as I went to ruffle her hair again. “Hey, Kara was saying you got a new singer for the band?”

I swallowed hard at the sound of her name.

My cousin Kara: Harry’s younger sister.

“Yeah—Micah. You should come watch us practice one day. I think you’d like her.” I paused before adding, “So, how is Kara these days?”

“You can ask her yourself. She’s just over there.”

I followed Stace’s gaze to where Kara sat, laughing with some of their friends. The same age as Stace, the two of them had been inseparable their entire lives. They were the complete opposite of me and Harry.

“Go say hello,” urged Stace. “Seriously Sax, you have to let this go.
She
has.”

I nodded. My heart froze as Kara caught my eye and smiled. She nudged her head and invited me over. My feet felt like jelly as they walked toward her. I hadn’t seen her in ages. We hadn’t really spoken since it happened. I didn’t care if she had forgiven me; I’d never forgive myself for what I did to her.

“Hey stranger,” she said. “Are you going to sit down?”

I nodded and sank into the armchair next to her. “Good to see you. You’re looking well, Kara,” I said quietly.

“Thanks. I’ve been good. Really good. I’m off to Dartmouth in the fall. Did you hear?”

“That’s great,” I smiled. I sat there feeling awkward, not knowing what to say. Everything seemed stupid and pointless. She was sitting in a wheelchair because I’d fucked up. That’s all there was to it. There was no amount of forgiveness that would fix that. My parents hated me for it. Harry hated me for it. I hated me for it.

“It was nice seeing you, Kara. I better go find my sister.”

The truth was, I couldn’t handle being around her because she was a constant reminder of what I’d done. I’d ruined her life, and no amount of small talk was going to fix that. I was a fucking pussy, a coward, and nobody was angrier about it than me.

“Sure, Sax.” Her gaze dropped as she smiled. “See you later.”

***

I tracked down Stace sitting by the bar with a group of her friends.

“What?” she said with wide eyes as I shook my head. “Don’t worry, we’re just
sitting
here. No law against that, right?”

“Sure,” I muttered, eyeing her suspiciously. “Listen, I gotta go and sort some shit out for the tour. Happy birthday, little sis.” After crushing her in a hug, I handed her an envelope.

She looked at it suspiciously. “This is my big, amazing present?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. “I’ll kill you if it’s a gift certificate. You know how I feel about them.”

“Just open it,” I laughed.

Rolling her eyes, she tore along the length of the envelope and peered inside. Her mouth fell open, a half-assed squeal escaping from her mouth. “Are you freaking kidding me? How the hell did you score these? They’ve been sold out for months.” She excitedly waved two tickets in the air—Arctic Monkeys in Vegas.

There were some benefits to being a washed up rock star, such as being able to get ‘industry’ tickets to shows that had sold out in seconds.

She threw her arms around me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

“Saxon!”

I turned around and waited as my father walked up the path toward me. My mood dropped at the sight of him. I could always trust him to be able to ruin the moment.

“Hey, Dad.” I rubbed the back of my neck, bracing myself for the disapproval over whatever it was I was doing wrong this time.

“Leaving without saying hello to your old man?” He cocked his head and grinned, clapping me on the back. I smiled thinly. Anyone watching us would think we got along well, which just goes to show how looks can be deceiving.

“Sorry, I have some things to organize for the band. I’m this close to hooking them a gig in the LA Festival.”

“Dan was telling me. That’s fantastic. Your mother and I are so proud of the way you’ve turned your life around.”

Funny that my uncle is more supportive of me than my own father.

“Thanks,” I said instead, not wanting to start an argument on what was Stace’s day. “I really have to go. I’ll call you. Keep out of trouble,” I said to Stace, flashing her a grin.

I walked off, the bitterness that consumed me completely ruining my night. All I’d ever wanted was for them to be proud of me. Too bad it took nearly killing myself to get that. And even then, nothing I did was ever good enough.

***

Today was obviously a day for doing things I wasn’t used to doing. My stomach churned as I knocked on the front door. It swung open and Max gaped at me. From the looks of him, he hadn’t fully recovered from a big night before—even though it was after nine in the evening.

“Holy shit, dude. How the fuck are you?” He let me in, patting me on the back as I walked past him. “I can’t believe you’re here. I thought you, like, died or something dude.”

I laughed. “Yeah, sorry about that. I went through a bit of a rough patch for a while there. I have been meaning to call.”

He waved his arm. “Seriously dude, don’t stress. I’m just happy to see you. Drink? I’ve got beer and beer.”

“I’ll have a soda if you have one. Or just a water.”

He raised his eyebrows. “My man doesn’t drink anymore?”

I shook my head. “Rarely. There’s a lot about me that’s changed. You don’t look any different, though,” I added, my voice dry.

Max’s eyes crinkled as he laughed, his voice low and raspy. “Except older and slower. God, I’m nearly thirty, dude. Where the hell did life go?” he groaned, handing me a can of Coke. He cracked open a beer for himself and gulped half of it down. I laughed.

Max had been the drummer in Savaged. He honestly looked no different even though I hadn’t seen him in years. His dark brown hair was cropped short and had a sprinkling of silver through it, but he had the same goofy, fun, and laid back attitude as he’d had way back then.

“What are you doing these days?” I asked.

After the shit had gone down, I withdrew from everyone in the industry, including my bandmates. Hell, this was the first time I’d even spoken to Max since the accident.

“Honestly, not much. You know me. I float through from one week to the next. Everything’s a party,” he chuckled. “You know Leo got married, right?”

“No fucking way.”

“Yeah. His wife popped out a set of twins last year. Identical. Creepy little fuckers if you ask me. Looking all alike and shit.”

“So family is not on your agenda,” I joked.

He snorted in response. “Not unless you find me a wife that doesn’t mind me sleeping around, getting drunk, and sleeping all day,” he said with a smirk. “So, I’m guessing you’re not just here to catch up.”

“Yeah,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets. “I was wondering if you still had the van we used for our tours.”

He chuckled. “As if I could ever get rid of old Betsy. Sure, she’s out back. You want her?”

“Just for a few weeks. We’re going on tour around LA and up to Vegas. I figured we should save as much cash as we can.”

Max reached for his pack of cigarettes and pulled one out, offering the pack to me.

“Don’t smoke anymore,” I said.

He shrugged and stood up.

I followed him through the kitchen and out the back, breathing in his secondhand smoke.
This place is a dump.
There was shit everywhere. Dirty dishes were piled so high in the sink you couldn’t see the wall behind it. Garbage littered the floor and the countertop. I cringed as I spotted a mouse feasting on a half-eaten slice of toast that had been tossed carelessly on the floor.

“She’ll need a bit of a wash.”

If she’s anything like your house, I imagine she would.

“She still runs, though. I took her out the other weekend for a friend’s birthday.” He laughed and shook his head. “The shit we got up to in this thing, huh, man?”

I nodded. I couldn’t argue with him there.

Even in the darkness I could see the van was a mess. I climbed inside and laughed. It was as bad I remembered. No, actually it was worse. But if it saved us a few thousand in motels, it was worth it. I chuckled, imagining Micah’s face when she saw this thing.

The princess wasn’t going to be a princess for long.