He nodded, and she saw his mind reluctantly shift to polite excuses. “We were taking a walk to see the creek.” He shot her a mischievous look. “Your countrified ways, you know. You insisted on looking and then you slipped and fell.”
“I did no such thing! My footing is always secure!”
“Very well, then I slipped and brought you tumbling in after me.”
“But we are not wet, Mr. Frazier. And anyone with half a mind would know that we did not fall in a creek bed.”
“On the contrary, Miss Wilson,” he said as he quite deliberately rolled his backside in a puddle of spilled tea. “I am quite wet and you are quite dirty. I most sincerely doubt that a London chit will notice the difference.”
Well, a London girl might, if she had a scientific or logical bent. But that was definitely
not
Rose, and so Maddy ended up nodding in agreement. “It will have to do, I suppose. I can think of no other polite excuse for my appearance.”
He pushed to his feet, coming to stand before her. His hair was mussed, and his clothing appeared exactly as one would expect from a man who had been brawling.
“Mr. Frazier . . .” she began, though she had no idea what she intended to say.
He stepped right up to her; then he took her head in his hands and he pressed his mouth to hers. She had time to stop him, but she didn’t. She wanted to feel his mouth. She needed to open herself to him and let him plunge inside.
It was over too quickly. The push of his tongue, the invasion of her mouth was only long enough to make her body arch into his.
“You must call me Kit,” he said when he had stepped a polite distance away.
“And invite you to my wedding,” she said, her heart breaking as she reminded herself just how unwanted she was.
His gaze dropped to the ground, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I am not a man, angel, but a beast wearing a man’s form.”
“Don’t be ridiculous—”
“You don’t understand!” His voice was harsh, his expression abruptly feral. The shift was so sudden and so startling that she gasped. Then he sighed, obviously pulling his body and his mind back under control. “You were right to make me come here,” he said and she blinked at the sudden shift in topic. “I needed to see this, needed to face what could have been.”
“Can you let it go now?” she asked, her heart in her throat.
His nod was slow but unconvincing. “But I should finish the task,” he said slowly. “Go visit my brother.”
“It’s a good idea,” she said calmly, though inside her heart crumbled at the thought of him leaving London. “He is your family. He will help you remember who you were before all this.”
She said the words, even made them especially bracing, but not for him. They were for herself. She had to go back to Rose and to Uncle Frank. They were
her
family and quite possibly her only future. After all, he had just said in the carriage that she would not be his wife. Did she think that another episode would change that undeniable fact? If anything, it only underscored how very unsuitable he was as a husband.
Only a fool would feel such aching sadness that he was leaving London. He was not a viable candidate for a husband, and it served her no good to spend time on his difficulties. Two full minutes of this silent tirade braced her spine and refocused her on her goal: a husband, a marriage. With someone who was decidedly
not
Mr. Frazier. And at the end of those minutes, she looked up to see him watching her, his blue eyes shuttered, his expression closed.
“I am ready,” she said firmly.
He didn’t respond except to hold out his arm. She took it carefully, only allowing the tips of her fingers to touch his arm. And she kept the maximum possible distance between them as they crossed into the house.
It wasn’t hard to find Rose. The woman was chattering about settee fabrics. Kit took the lead the moment they entered the salon. He apologized profusely for their disreputable appearance, explaining about his fall near the creek. And if Rose looked at them both with narrowed eyes, she didn’t question his statement. She couldn’t, what with Lord and Lady Blackstone laughing so loudly about his clumsiness.
And then, just when Maddy thought they had escaped unscathed, her cousin smiled sweetly and clapped her hands. “Well, I am so glad that you are here now, Mr. Frazier. We can discuss the details of my tea. You promised to attend, you recall. And now Lord and Lady Blackstone have agreed as well.”
“Rose,” said Maddy with a sigh. “Rose, it won’t do. Lady Blackstone cannot travel that far. Not in her condition.”
“Nonsense,” returned Rose blithely. “She was just telling me that she goes to her playhouse at least once a week. It is hardly much farther to my home, you know.”
“But—” began Maddy.
“I will of course go,” Lady Blackstone interrupted, her gaze shifting from first Rose to Maddy and then finally to Kit. “But only if Mr. Frazier will agree to escort me. Is it possible, Kit? Do you think you could join me and Brandon on the ride into the city?”
Everyone turned to Kit, including Maddy. She was closest to him, so she could see the minute struggles on his face. In the end, he lost his battle with his cheery exterior. His social smile faded, and his eyes held regret. “I am sorry, beauty,” he said to Rose. “I’m afraid I have to leave London as soon as possible.”
“What?” Rose gasped. “Now? But where will you go?”
Kit shrugged. “To my brother Donald. I’m afraid I need to borrow some money. I have a ship and a crew that require cash immediately.”
“Well, as to that,” Lord Blackstone said, the rumble of his voice deep and slightly embarrassed. “I made some inquiries after we, um, met the other night. Scher and I would like to help, Kit. We’d like to invest.”
Maddy felt the shock hit Kit’s body, a shudder that trembled through his body into hers. “I . . . What?” he gasped.
Lady Blackstone reached behind her to clasp her husband’s hand. “The playhouse generates cash, Kit. Not a lot, but a steady profit. We would like to buy an interest in your shipping venture.”
Kit gaped at them. “Shipping venture?”
“You have a boat, right?” inserted Rose. “That’s a shipping venture. They want to give you money so you can stay in London and attend my tea!”
Maddy looked to Kit. His eyes were wide, his body still tense with shock, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. Perhaps he couldn’t believe in what was being offered. “Goodness,” she drawled, “that sounds very lucky, don’t you think?”
He turned his gaze to her, but his expression remained unreadable except for his general surprise.
“There’s nothing lucky about it,” growled Lord Brandon. “I’ve been looking for a venture. I made inquiries, talked to his crew.”
“You talked to my crew?” Kit asked.
Lord Blackstone nodded. “Went to your ship first thing after . . . well, when I woke in London. Met a man named Puck and learned an earful, all of it good. The crew’s good, but the ship isn’t. We can help you with that. Pay for the repairs as an investment in your company.”
“In you,” pressed Lady Blackstone.
Kit didn’t speak. His body was so tight, Maddy wondered if he could.
“Well, that’s excellent!” crowed Rose. “Repairing a boat takes time, doesn’t it? Long enough that you can still attend my tea!”
“Rose, please,” admonished Maddy. “Not everything relates to your entertainments.”
Rose huffed in response, but there was little time for more as Lord Blackstone pushed to his feet. “We can accomplish this now, if you like, Kit. I have some documents already prepared. You can see if they’re to your liking. Then you shall have the funds you need to begin repairs immediately.”
Again, everyone looked to Kit, who at last broke out of his stupor. “I just tried to break every bone in your body, Brandon. I called you a thief and frightened your children in your own home.”
Lord Blackstone’s face broke into a surprisingly carefree smile. “Suzanne thought it was grand fun, and Christopher deserved a spanking at the least. As for calling me names, you should hear the things that Scher calls me.”
“Brandon!” gasped his wife, but her blush said that she was not offended.
Meanwhile, Lord Blackstone’s expression sobered. “I owe you a great deal, Kit. And my brother owes you much, much more. Allow me to repay a tiny portion of that debt. Please.”
The change came slowly, a tiny shift in body imperceptible to all but Maddy. Eventually, Kit’s breath released and his head bowed in agreement. “Thank you,” he breathed. “And,” he added as he turned to Scher, “thank you for the gift of my namesake. In time, I should like to be a proper uncle to him.”
Lady Scher’s smile revealed a rare beauty. Not one of face, though she certainly was lovely enough, but of heart. Her body seemed to glow and her smile warmed everyone, Maddy included. “I should like that above all things, Kit.”
“Oh excellent!” cried Rose as she clapped her hands. “Everything is working out just as I planned!”
“Almost, Lady Rose,” Kit said as he slowly stepped apart from the group. “The thing is, beauty, that I am not ready for polite company.” His gaze shifted from Rose to Maddy. “I have learned that much and more this afternoon, thanks to you.”
“Kit . . .” Maddy whispered, but he shook his head, cutting her off.
“I will take your money with gratitude, Brandon. I will set the repairs to my ship in motion, and then I will go see my eldest brother, maybe even look for the others. Lucas, for one. I think I should like to see him.” He turned back to Rose. “I am afraid, beauty, that means I shall not have time for a tea.”
Rose pushed to her feet, distress written in every line. “But surely that won’t take long. You can be back before Tuesday next, can’t you?”
“No, beauty, I won’t. In fact,” he said with a deep breath, “I wonder if I shall be fit for polite company ever again.” And with a last look at Maddy, he turned and nodded at his cousin. They left the room immediately without any more good-bye than that.
Chapter 16
“I know what you did with Mr. Frazier.”
Maddy started out of her gray fog of misery to look at her cousin. They were in their carriage on the way back to London after an interminably long tea. Rose and Maddy had lingered long after Lord Blackstone and Kit had disappeared to their business discussion. Even after the men sent word that the ladies should return to London alone, Rose had lingered, hoping that Kit would change his mind. But he didn’t, as Maddy knew he wouldn’t. He needed time to sort out his moods, to relearn what it was like to be an English gentleman. Only after that would he attempt polite society.
It was wise of him, she knew. But she couldn’t help but pray he healed quickly. That his business with Lord Blackstone worked marvelously fast. And that someday soon he would appear as a proper caller at their front door. She prayed for it, but she didn’t expect it. She, more than anyone, knew how long it took a heart to heal.
Meanwhile, Rose finally gave up hope. She ordered the carriage, and then climbed in with an irritated swish of her skirts. Maddy followed, certain that she would spend the next ninety minutes pretending to listen while Rose complained about the fickleness of certain parties in first accepting her invitation then changing his mind. There had been some of that, but then Rose had fallen strangely silent. Maddy had been too grateful for the reprieve to question it. Until, of course, her cousin came up with that horrible statement.
“I beg your pardon?” Maddy said, vainly struggling to marshal her wits.
“I saw what happened on the terrace. It wasn’t as if you were quiet, what with all the roaring and crashing into tables.”
“Rose, it wasn’t what it looked like.”
“It looked like Mr. Frazier tried to kill Lord Blackstone and you stepped in the middle. Again! Really, Maddy, didn’t you once tell me to
never
step between two men when they are fighting?”
“Well, yes, I have said that,” she began, but Rose was winding into quite a scolding.
“But you couldn’t help yourself, could you? You couldn’t let them punch it out as boys do. Everything would have gone better if you had, you know.”
“Rose, you can hardly blame me—”
“Imagine if they had beaten each other to a bloody mess. Neither of them would have been seriously injured. Unlike the soft earl, both Mr. Frazier and Lord Blackstone are in the peak of health. They would have punched each other, satisfied whatever notion of honor needed to be satisfied, and then Kit would not have felt humiliated. He would not have collapsed on top of you, sobbed like a little boy, and then felt it necessary to leave London!”
Maddy blinked. Every once in a while Rose surprised her by saying something completely logical and quite perceptive. But still, she didn’t think she deserved the blame for this latest fiasco.
“Rose, I think it’s rather more complicated than that.”
“Of course it is!” her cousin huffed. “Mr. Frazier isn’t well. But that’s exactly why he needs to go about punching things. Better his family who won’t spread it about than some hapless lord or servant or butcher.”
Maddy bit her lip, wondering if what Rose said was right. Was that all Kit needed? Some time to punch out whatever violence was in him? It sounded ridiculous. His pain went much deeper than a few fist fights could cure. And yet, she had seen her father’s patients recover from the most horrible things by hard labor, a few drunken brawls, and time. Most especially time.
“I’m sorry, Rose,” she finally said. “Perhaps I was very wrong to interfere.”
“Of course you were. And now he is gone!” Rose wailed.
Maddy had no response especially since her own heart was chanting the same refrain. “But why are you so upset, Rose? You hardly know Mr. Frazier. Is it because of the tea?”
“I don’t care about any silly tea!” Rose snapped. Then when Maddy arched a brow, she waved her hand in dismissal. “Well, of course it would have been nice, but I was able to witness the dramatic reunion of the doomed pair, wasn’t I? My tea will be a huge success merely because I can recount the details.”
“Oh, you wouldn’t!” cried Maddy. The thought of everyone knowing how Kit had collapsed in pain was beyond unbearable.
“I won’t say anything scandalous, Maddy! I shall just say that you got caught up in the brawl. Everyone will ask about that cut on your face anyway.”
“Not about me, you ninny!” she returned with heat. “About Mr. Frazier. About . . . well, everything.”
“Well, everything is exactly the point, isn’t it? Don’t worry,” she said with a dramatic sigh. “When I am finished, he will come out as the romantic hero of a modern tragedy.”
“And Lord and Lady Blackstone?”
“They are victims as well, don’t you think? After all, they thought he was dead. And they did name their son after him. I thought that was the perfect touch, don’t you?”
“I doubt they did it so you could have a dramatic tale,” returned Maddy in excruciatingly dry tones.
“I don’t see why you are in such a crabby mood,” Rose snapped. “It isn’t your fiancé who is harrying off to God knows where to return only God knows when!”
Maddy gaped at her cousin in shock. “He isn’t your fiancé, Rose. I don’t believe he has a mind to marry at all.”
“Well, of course he doesn’t, but then men never know these things.”
“Good heavens, where are you getting these ideas?”
“Everyone knows that!” Rose said indignantly. But when Maddy stared hard at her, she had the grace to flush and huff back into her seat. “If you must know, Bethany’s mama says that Lady Ashcroft trapped her husband by . . .”
The story went on for quite some time. It involved various people and absolute facts that were really just speculation. It was the fodder of the aristocracy and had created in Rose the belief that with the right provocation, men by nature would fall prey to their baser instincts. They fell desperately in lust with the right woman, and then—because they could not have a proper woman any other way—perforce must propose. Marriage, love, and children would follow in some fashion or another.
It was all ridiculous, of course. Rose painted men as simple creatures of appetite who had to be directed the right way for the desired result. Like aiming a horse to water. Eventually, every man got thirsty enough and would propose so long as he got to drink.
But the more Rose spoke, the more Maddy began to think about it. After all, she had not been successful to date in capturing a husband. Perhaps it was because she wasn’t seductive enough. But that still didn’t answer the basic question.
“Yes, yes, Rose, that is all well and good, but why do
you
want to marry Mr. Frazier?”
Rose frowned at her. “Well, I should think that was obvious.”
Maddy threw up her hands in disgust. “It’s not! And do not say some ridiculous prattle about true love. I do not believe it. You are no more in love with Mr. Frazier than I am.”
Her cousin arched a look at her, a sudden mischievousness coming into her expression. “Well, that is an interesting thought,” she drawled. “
Are
you falling in love with him, Maddy?”
“Don’t be silly!” she snapped with much more heat than she intended. She certainly cared for the man, just as she might care for any person who was in pain. And if she were truly pressed, she might admit to a great deal of, well, animal lust for the man. She had spent many hours in fantasies that began with the sight of his naked chest their first night together. But that was not love. And it certainly wasn’t marriage. “I am looking at a quite different man for a wedding ring.”
“Mr. Wakely, perhaps?” Rose asked, her eyebrows waggling.
Mr. Wakely? Maddy had to think back until she remembered Mitchell Wakely. He was the quiet gentleman who had spoken so nicely to her at one of the interminable musical evenings. He had a respectable portion, a logical mind, and a nice smile. “Yes,” she said firmly. “He is on my list.”
“Well, I think he’s perfect for you.”
“Thank you. But we were speaking of you and Mr. Frazier. Why do you want
him
?”
Rose leaned forward. “I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to steal him from me. He would make good sense for you as well.”
“I have already told you I have no interest in Mr. Frazier!” Maddy said loudly. “My sights are set on Mr. Wakely and perhaps some others.” She rattled off the names of gentlemen who had caught her eye.
“No,” Rose said, her nose wrinkling. “I think Mr. Wakely is your best hope. After all he is—”
“Rose! What are your reasons regarding Mr. Frazier?”
Rose pursed her lips. “Oh, very well! First off, you know he is the catch of the season.”
Maddy knew no such thing. “He’s not handsome, dresses poorly, and has fits. That cannot make him a good catch.”
Rose waved all that away. “He’s handsome enough and clothes can be changed.”
“But—”
“Don’t you see? By the end of my tea, he will be the most exciting man on the social scene. No gently bred man could possibly compete with a doomed pirate, now returned home.”
Maddy pressed her lips together. It didn’t bear repeating that Kit was
not
on the social scene and had no interest in becoming a romantic hero.
“Second,” continued Rose, oblivious to Maddy’s disapproval, “you may not realize that father’s money isn’t exactly what he pretends.”
Maddy knew that the earl was a pinch penny if ever there was one. It wasn’t that the earldom was broke. Far from it. Just that Uncle Frank had no interest in paying for anyone’s interests but his own.
“Your father is careful with the money he spends on us,” she said, doing her best to be diplomatic.
Rose nodded her complete agreement. “Well, Mr. Frazier is rich as a nabob—”
“He is not!”
“Well, he will be with Lord Blackstone’s money, and so my smallish dowry won’t be a problem.”
Maddy shook her head. “Mr. Frazier does not have the money you think.”
“Pish posh! He has piles of jewelry. Alex told me so!”
Maddy stared at Rose, who had the grace to blush. “Well, you see . . . I, uh, I know about the bath.”
“What!” Maddy nearly exploded off her seat. As it was, her hands gripped the squabs just to keep some pretense at calm.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she said, “and I heard Mr. Frazier going in and out of the kitchen.”
“You were spying on me!” whispered Maddy. There was no way the girl could have heard Kit going in and out of the house unless she were already downstairs at the kitchen door.
“Not on you, silly!” said Rose with a giggle. “On him! He’s very strong, don’t you think? I never would have guessed if I hadn’t seen it for myself.”
Maddy bit her lip, horrified to know that Rose had seen her that night. It had grown in her thoughts to become the perfect evening of intimacy between herself and Kit. That it had been witnessed by someone else made her feel . . . Well, it felt wrong.
“In any event, since he was occupied downstairs, I took the chance to go into his bedroom.”
“Oh, Rose!”
“Alex was there, and we had the most lovely chat. He was quite easy to charm,” she said, her cheeks dimpling in false modesty.
“Rose! That’s most unfair to—”
“Anyway, he told me about Mr. Frazier’s jewelry. Even showed some of it to me. Old, ugly jewelry!”
Maddy bit her lip, putting aside her cousin’s appalling behavior. So Kit had more of the same pieces like the one he’d given her. “He needs to find some way to sell it.”
“Then he will have piles of guineas!”
Maddy sighed. “But money is not enough of a reason for marriage, Rose. You are the daughter of an earl. You could have any man you want.”
“And I want him! Don’t you see? He is the catch of the Season and quite handsome to boot. He has money and all his teeth, and he is already half in love with me.”
That jerked Maddy’s attention back to her cousin. “He is?”
“You heard him call me beauty. And he’s quite charming around me.”
Yes, he was, Maddy realized. “But, Rose, he’s gone.”
“But he’ll be back. He left before and he came back.”
“He didn’t go away,” Maddy snapped. “He was a captured slave.”
Rose shook her head. “He’ll be back. And when he comes back, I will have laid the groundwork. He will be the most celebrated man this Season, thanks to me. And I will be his faithful beauty, waiting desperately for his return!”
Maddy stared at her cousin. It was clear that the girl had it all worked out in her mind. “You can’t mean to put yourself on the shelf waiting for him.”
Rose heaved a dramatic sigh. “Yes, I know. It wouldn’t be at all necessary if you hadn’t chased him away, you know.”
Maddy refused to be lured into that argument again. “Surely there is some other gentleman who catches your fancy.” She began to list off the men who constantly hovered about during parties, but Rose kept shaking her head.
“None of them are like Mr. Frazier,” she said firmly.
The girl wasn’t listening. Maddy could hardly blame her. After all, Maddy’s own heart was still mourning today’s debacle. So she had to say the words, both to herself and her cousin. “You have created a fantasy that isn’t real. He’s not a tragic pirate figure, he isn’t even a full man right now. Not in his mind.”
“Of course he is!”
Maddy held up her hand. She couldn’t give the full details of what she’d seen. She certainly couldn’t say that the man had abducted her to the playhouse cellar, believing her to be a dead cabin boy. “Mr. Frazier told me himself that he has fits. That he sometimes thinks he’s in the past, living something that happened a long time ago.”
“But that is to be expected, isn’t it?” said Rose. “The sooner he sets himself up in society, the sooner he can forget about all that happened before.”
“It’s not that easy, Rose.”
“Of course it is. And now that he sees he can no longer have Lady Blackstone, he will naturally start thinking of other ladies. Like me, his beauty.”
“Rose . . .”
“Oh, stop it, Maddy! You make your plans for Mr. Wakely and leave me to mine with Mr. Frazier.”
Maddy would have continued to argue, but the best way to handle the girl’s illogic was to let it pass. Eventually, Rose would become caught up in some other romantic story. So Maddy pressed her lips together and looked out the window. They had reached the outskirts of London and would soon be home. Once there—