Wife Me Bad Boy (43 page)

“I need this place for Faith. I’ve got to have something to offer her.”

He nodded. We’d gotten a lot of work done and it was time to call it quits for the evening.

“Can I borrow your bike?” I said.

“You headed to town?”

I nodded.

“Getting drunk?”

“Depends.”

“You want company?”

I shook my head.

“Suit yourself, brother.”

He made to throw the keys but didn’t let them go. I’d made to catch them and he smirked.

“Forget it,” I said. “I’ll take the truck.”

“Jackson, I was kidding. Here, take the bike.”

“Keep it,” I said.

I was touchy. I’d give my life for that man, but I had my guard way up. It’s like I was afraid to show any hint of weakness. I guess that’s the way it goes. I’d spent so long looking over my back, it would take time for me to settle back to normal life.

I don’t know if it’s like that in other places—men who pretend they’re made of rock because they’re scared shitless someone will put them to the test, find out they’re flesh and bone after all.

Maybe I was being unreasonable.

I stopped walking and turned around.

“Grant.”

He turned to face me. I made a little motion with my head, like when you want your dog to come with you but you don’t have to say it.

“Don’t invite me to be nice,” he said. “I got things to do too.”

“Come on. I could use the company. Let’s get a beer.”

“You buying?”

I laughed.

“Where are we headed?” I said. I wasn’t sure what bar was the favorite of the hour.

“Rusty,” Grant said.

“You’re sure we won’t run into anyone I know?”

Grant shook his head. “You think Faith would be caught dead in a place like the Rusty Nail? She stays up in the Hills, where it’s civilized.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” I said. “That’s where she belongs.”

“She’s a good girl, Jackson.”

I nodded.

“I mean it. I noticed. There’s not a lot of women who’d wait twelve years for their man. I don’t care who he is. But Faith waited for you. She didn’t even look at another guy, not for one second.”

“You watched her?”

“I didn’t watch her, but I’d have noticed if she stopped waiting for you. I wouldn’t have blamed her. You were gone so long she’d have had a right to start over.”

“Yes, she would have.”

“But she didn’t, Jackson. She didn’t.”

*

I
DROVE US UP THE
dusty road to the Rusty Nail, our old drinking haunt. It was at a nice spot on the road overlooking the vineyards in the valley.

Other than the view, the place was a real shit hole. There was a stray-looking, yellow dog in the lot.

“I see nothing’s changed.”

Grant nodded. “Hey, at least you got to see some of the world.”

I laughed. Twelve years planning the murders of highly protected criminals wasn’t exactly a leisure cruise.

We entered the bar and it really was just as I remembered—stale beer, the neon glow of a Bud Light sign, a young waitress in a skirt that barely covered her ass.

“What can I get you boys?” she said, looking at me like maybe I’d recognize her.

Hell, maybe I should have recognized her. But I didn’t.

“Two beers,” Grant said.

We sat on stools and slumped over the bar just like old times. The waitress put our beers in front of us and lingered like she was waiting for something.

Grant winked at her. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he said.

She was chewing gum. She had nice tits, two little melons that wanted to be squeezed. She leaned forward and pressed them together with her arms, creating more cleavage for our benefit. I stared right at them. Hell, why be subtle if she wasn’t?

“I see you brought your friend,” she said to Grant.

“Friend? This here’s my brother. Just got back from traveling the world.”

The waitress held her hand out to me like she was the Queen of England. I took it.

“Name’s Jackson,” I said.

“I know who you are.”

“This here’s Sue,” Grant said.

She looked at me with her doe eyes. She was probably wet just looking at me. Not to sound arrogant, but I make a hell of a first impression.

“Don’t tell me she’s going to drop me for you,” Grant said when she left.

I shrugged. “I can’t help it. The lady’s got to make up her own mind.”

“She’s no lady.”

“I bet she ain’t,” I said, nodding. “Besides, I ain’t looking.”

“How is that?” Grant said, looking at me.

“What do you mean?”

“Twelve years, Faith waiting for you with your baby, what did you do for release?”

“You want to know what I did?” I said.

“I mean, don’t tell me if you don’t want to. I’m just curious.”

“I kept it in my pants, Grant.”

“The fuck you did,” he said, looking at me.

I nodded, holding his eye.

“Jesus Christ, you’re serious.”

“Of course I’m serious. When I saw Faith, I knew she was the one. That baby was no accident, Grant. I meant to make her pregnant.”

“And you stayed true to her?”

“It’s the least I could do. She was raising my son.”

Grant clinked his bottle against mine.

“Well, fuck,” he said. “I don’t know if I’d have been able to do the same in your position.”

I looked back at him. “Yes, you would. When you meet the right one, you’ll know it.”

“We’ll see,” he said, “if it ever happens.” He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a bunch of change. “Go on,” he said. “For old time’s sake.”

I looked at him, then I slid the change off the bar into my hand and got down from my seat. “Any requests?” I said.

“You choose.”

I went to the jukebox and flicked through the discs till I got to Sound Garden. I was feeling reminiscent. The night before my father died we’d been down here, listening to Sound Garden on the juke box. I knew he’d remember.

Chapter 27

Faith

M
Y HAND WAS SHAKING.
I picked up the phone and dialed Lacey’s number. I swear, if it wasn’t for Lacey I’d have lost my mind long ago.

“Faith?”

“How’d you guess?”

“I’ve got a team of detectives working on it.”

“What?”

“Caller ID, silly.”

“Oh,” I laughed, but the strain in my voice was obvious.

“What is it, honey?”

“Did you hear?”

“Hear what?” she said.

“It’s on the news. He was murdered on an oil rig in Texas. As far as I can tell, that’s the last of Los Lobos.”

“The last one?” Lacey said.

“Yes. I think so. I think they’re all dead, Lacey.”

“That’s great. That means you and Sam are finally safe.”

I was silent. Lacey was silent on the other end too. We both knew what I was thinking but I couldn’t bring it up so she did.

“So that mean’s he’ll come back for you now, Faith.”

Another long pause.

“Is it silly to hope for that?”

“Of course it isn’t.”

“But, you know, twelve years? What guy would hold out for a girl for that long? I don’t even know if it’s possible.”

“It’s possible. Think of all the great love stories you’ve ever heard. Men’s hearts are deeper than we give them credit for. They’ll wait a lifetime for the woman they love, Faith.”

“But is that what I am?”

“The woman Jackson Jones loves?”

“Yes.”

“Of course you are. You know it. What did he say to you?”

“It was so long ago, Lacey.”

“Tell me what he said.”

She knew every detail of the three days I’d spent with Jackson. I’d told it all to her a thousand times.

“He said I was his and he was mine.”

“Yes, and would he have said that if he didn’t mean it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Faith,” Lacey said, using her stern voice. “Come on. You know better than that.”

“I’m doubting myself.”

“Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t give in to fear. If Jackson said he was coming back to you after the job was done, he’ll come back.”

“I guess this means he’s still alive.”

Lacey was silent. I didn’t know what she was thinking but there was something on my chest that I’d been dying to get off it and I took the opportunity.

“Lacey,” I said.

“Yes?”

“There’s something else. Something I didn’t tell you.”

“What?”

“It happened about a week ago.”

“Oh my God, Faith. Tell me what it is.”

“I picked up a man.”

“You what?”

I laughed nervously. “Not like that. I didn’t pick up. But there was a man on the road, I nearly hit him with my car. He was all right, but I gave him a ride down into the valley.”

Faith said nothing.

“I think …”

“You think what, Faith?”

“Well, remember I told you about the first time I met Jackson, in the Los Lobos bar, and he snatched a chain from around my neck?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well, this man last week. There was something strange about him.”

“He reminded you of Jackson?”

“Yes. He did. I didn’t realize it until he was gone, but he … reminded me of Jackson. And he left something hanging from my mirror.”

“What was it?”

I was going to answer but my voice caught in my throat.

“He left the chain in your car?” Lacey gasped.

“Yes,” I said at last.

“It was Jackson?”

“I don’t know. That’s the thing. It only came to me after he was gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“My hands started shaking. I felt as if I’d seen a ghost.”

“And you thought it was him?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Holy hell, Faith. Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“I’m telling you now.”

Lacey paused, then she said, “If you had a feeling like that, that’s your heart telling you something.”

“Have you heard anything?”

There was another pause.

“Lacey? Have you heard anything?” I said again.

“Faith, we need to talk.”

“Lacey. You’d tell me if you knew something, wouldn’t you?”

“Your happiness means the world to me, sweetie,” she said. “You’re my best friend in the world.”

“Lacey, what am I going to do? How come he hasn’t come for me? That was a week ago. The news said the Los Lobos killing was over a week ago too. If he’s back and he hasn’t contacted me, what does that mean?”

“Don’t jump to any conclusions. You don’t even know if he’s back yet.”

“But what if he doesn’t want me? What if he doesn’t want his son? What if I’ve been waiting all these years for nothing, like a complete idiot?”

“You’re not an idiot, Faith.”

I sighed. I hated to lean on her like this for emotional support, but sometimes you just need help. You need a friend. Being a single mom isn’t easy. Losing the love of your life for twelve years isn’t easy. I had Sam, and I loved him to bits, but it’s not the same as having an adult to talk to.

“We’ve got to meet up tonight,” Lacey said.

“No, it’s all right,” I lied. “You’ve got a date with Matt, don’t you?”

Lacey had been seeing a guy named Matt for two years, and somehow hadn’t told any of the brothers about it. She was afraid they’d scare him off so she’d kept her relationship with him a complete secret.

“He’s in San Francisco for that conference.”

“He’s not coming home?”

“He just called. The company got him a hotel so he’s staying there for the week.”

“Oh, so you don’t have plans?”

“As usual,” Lacey said.

“Okay, let me make sure Sam goes to bed. Then I’ll open a bottle of wine.”

“What have you got?”

“Another local Zinfandel.”

“From the valley?”

“There are so many hidden gems in that soil, and we’re going to find them all.”

Lacey was my business partner. We’d opened the wine business together. Her father had established the vineyard the mansion was on and we were both committed to bringing Socorro Valley wine to the world.

“All right,” Lacey said. “I’ll be there in half an hour.”

I put away the things from dinner and then went into the den to check on Sam. He was watching the latest Transformer movie, a pack of Doritos on the sofa next to him. I couldn’t help feel a twinge of sadness for him. He was such a beautiful boy, the best thing I’d ever done in my life, but his life wasn’t complete without a father.

“You doing all right, buddy?”

He lifted his hand in answer.

“Five more minutes, okay. You’ve got school in the morning.”

“This is the best part, mom. Optimus Prime.”

“Autobots, engage,” I said, in my pathetic robot voice.

“That’s Star Trek. Optimus says, ‘Autobots, roll out’.”

I sat down next to him. He graciously deigned to move his legs. “Want some chips?”

“No thanks, sweetie.”

“Diet?”

I laughed. “Sort of.”

“Your the thinnest mom out of all my friends.”

I looked at him sideways. “Now you’re just trying to butter me up.”

His left eyebrow arced. It was a gesture he’d inherited from Jackson and it melted my heart every time I saw it. I wanted my son’s father to come home to me so badly it hurt. If he was done with Los Lobos, if it was safe for him to return, then where the hell was he?

“All right,” I said, putting on my best down-to-business voice. “This part’s boring. Let’s turn it off and you can pick it back up tomorrow night.”

“Another exciting night in the adventurous life of Sam Jones,” he said. I’d insisted on giving him Jackson’s name, even if mine was still Shepherd.

“Maybe we’ll go out for something tomorrow.”

“Grab a bite to eat?”

“Some burgers, a movie. If you’re good.”

He got up from the couch and kissed me on the cheek. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you, Sam. I’ll be right there to tuck you in.”

“I know,” he said and left for his bedroom.

I turned off the television and went in to Sam’s room. “You all set, sweetie?”

“Yes, mom.”

I kissed him goodnight. “You’re a good kid,” I whispered.

“You’re a good mom,” he said.

I went back to the den and picked up the Doritos bag. Before I could stop myself, I’d eaten a handful of chips.