Closing his eyes, Jerden emptied his mind of conscious thought but found it difficult to keep Sara’s image at bay. Tall and slim, she’d stood ramrod straight, her sleek arm muscles clearly defined as she held out her hand. Her coppery hair was cut short, and though her green eyes were friendly, they didn’t beckon. Lips that should have been curved into a sensuous smile were pressed into a firm line. She was all business. No allure. No desire. Nothing seductive.
This posed no real problem, for the last thing Jerden wanted was for a woman to feel anything for him. He’d put all that behind him when he’d left Rhylos to settle on Terra Minor, fully intending to live out the rest of his life in relative seclusion. He didn’t need a woman and he didn’t want one. His mind was clear on that.
But if that was true, then why did it bother him so much that she didn’t seem to want
him
?
***
Rather than going straight home, Sara decided to drop in on Bonnie, whom she found out by the henhouse, feeding the chickens. After hearing the tale of Sara’s meeting with Jerden, Bonnie was sorry Danuban had proven uncatchable, but for the rest, she was unrepentant.
“Gorgeous, isn’t he?”
Sara rolled her eyes, not bothering to ask to whom Bonnie was referring. “I suppose so—though you might have warned me about the lack of clothing.”
“Why spoil the effect? Ulla told me she’d seen him out riding. She’s fascinated by the way animals follow him around. Actually, I’ve thought of sneaking over there to watch him ride, myself.”
Though married to another Zetithian, apparently even Bonnie could appreciate Jerden’s own brand of animal magnetism, whether it pertained to his ability to attract animals or women. “I wasn’t sneaking and I got the full treatment. Though I must say, I’ve never seen a naked man riding bareback before. Seems like it would be… uncomfortable.”
“Maybe for a
human
male,” Bonnie said with a wicked grin. “But you’ve got to remember, Jerden isn’t human.”
“True,” Sara conceded. “Not very talkative, is he?”
Bonnie’s expression sobered. “He wasn’t always like that. He’s been through hell and hasn’t quite recovered. In fact, he may never recover completely.”
“The woman who was murdered on Rhylos—she meant a lot to him?”
“Evidently,” Bonnie replied. “Aside from the fact that she was killed by a crazy woman who only wanted her job at the brothel. You see, Zetithian men have to smell the scent of a woman’s desire in order to function sexually, and not every woman has the right scent. Audrey’s scent enabled the men to service their clients, but once a Zetithian man becomes imprinted with a particular woman’s scent, he can’t do it with anyone else. That seems to be what happened with Jerden and Audrey.”
Yet
another
difference
between
them
and
human
males
. “And that imprint remains even after she dies?”
“So it would seem.” Having finished scattering the feed, Bonnie checked the nests for eggs, putting straw in the bottom of her bucket to keep them from breaking.
“Does that mean he won’t
ever
get over her?”
“It’s hard to say. Working in a brothel isn’t exactly normal behavior for a Zetithian. They’re usually quite monogamous. No telling what will happen in his case.”
Sara stood there, absently watching the chickens pecking at their feed. He was grieving over the death of a woman to whom he’d become strongly attached, perhaps more so than he’d realized at the time. “How sad.”
Bonnie nodded. “We hoped he would improve after coming here to live, but so far, he hasn’t.”
“Maybe he needs to get out more.”
“I agree, but so far, he’s been unwilling. He doesn’t have a speeder—by choice—and I doubt if he ever leaves his land. Lynx delivers food to him once in a while. I’m not sure that’s a good idea, but Lynx refuses to let anyone go hungry, and I can’t say I blame him for that.”
Sara had heard how Lynx was captured and sold as a sex slave for a harem of fifty slave women, used and starved until he was no longer of any use to them. Bonnie had healed his spirit, but to hear her tell it, bringing him back had been an uphill battle. Sara had long ago decided that Bonnie’s deep blue eyes, golden hair, and petite figure might’ve had something to do with why she’d been so successful, as much as the fact that she was kindness itself. If the task had fallen to her, Sara was fairly certain she would’ve failed.
Bonnie glanced down at the clutch of eggs in her bucket. “I should probably encourage the kids to pester him more. Maybe send them over with eggs and fresh vegetables every week.” She paused, smiling. “Everyone has pretty much left him alone, except for Salan. She’s still holding out hope that she’ll snag a Zetithian.”
Salan was the dairyman’s daughter. A human/Davordian cross, her blonde hair and luminous blue eyes were the envy of many local women, but so far, they hadn’t done her any good when it came to finding a husband. Sara didn’t think much of Salan, or any woman who threw herself at men. It seemed so… shallow. On the other hand, sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to come calling hadn’t worked for Sara, and if her limited experience with men was anything to go by, she’d just as soon they didn’t.
Not that she hadn’t done anything in the meantime. She’d gone ahead with her life and, for all practical purposes, had shut down her sexual nature as a waste of time and energy, and a source of heartache and pain. By her thirtieth year, she’d emigrated to Terra Minor and been at the forefront of the project to introduce horses to that world. She’d already been settled on her ranch for a year or more when the ship bearing one hundred Zetithian refugees arrived, and there were plenty of women who jumped at the chance to relocate to Nimbaza just for the chance of seeing one.
Sara didn’t bother to look. She already knew Lynx, and yes, he was a very attractive man, but if human men ignored her, there was little chance that the greatest lovers in the galaxy would treat her any differently. “I don’t suppose he’s been very chatty with Salan, has he?”
Bonnie giggled. “She took him some milk and cheese, but he told her it wasn’t necessary, that Lynx could bring it to him.”
“Somehow I can’t see that stopping her.”
“It didn’t. She went there again, and that time he told her he didn’t even
like
milk or cheese—though I know for a fact he feeds gallons of milk to those cats. He’s got about a dozen of them.”
Sara nodded. “He’s got lots of dogs, too.” Shaking her head, she added, “Poor Salan. Maybe she should just give up.”
Like
I
have.
“Or lower her sights. I thought she and Wilisan would end up together, but they didn’t last a full season.” Bonnie frowned. “Not sure what happened there. I never heard the whole story.”
Sara found this hard to believe. Even without knowing Salan very well, it was apparent that she’d never been one to keep anything to herself, though in this case she might have been too embarrassed to share the details—something Sara understood all too well. Wilisan didn’t have a lot of respect for women, plus he had a bit of a temper. Sara didn’t consider his exotic good looks worth putting up with either of those traits. Perhaps Salan had decided she didn’t either.
No longer interested in pursuing what to her was a touchy topic, Sara merely shrugged. “I could still use some help getting Danuban home. Maybe you or Lynx could go with me next time.”
Bonnie appeared to consider this. “Why don’t I have Lynx ask Jerden to ride the horse over to your place? That way you won’t have to go traipsing through the mountains to catch him.”
The vision of Jerden riding up on Danuban resurfaced in Sara’s mind. No, once was quite enough. She didn’t need to see it again. “Actually, I was hoping Jerden would catch him and then I could lead him home.”
“Then why would you need one of us to go with you?” Bonnie smiled smugly. “You don’t want to go back there alone, do you?”
“Not really. Would
you
?”
Bonnie snorted a laugh. “To see Jerden ride a horse naked? You bet I would. I may be happily married to another Zetithian, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate an awesome sight like that. I mean…
wow
.”
Sara didn’t know how to respond to that. But she did know that Bonnie was lucky to be able to acknowledge the beauty without feeling the embarrassment. She was a married woman, and she’d been with other men before Lynx, had seen them unclothed and made love with them—Ulla wasn’t even Lynx’s child. Sara had never been that intimate with anyone. At least, not by choice.
Sighing, Bonnie gave in. “Okay, I’ll ask Lynx to talk to him. We’ll figure out something. But it wouldn’t kill you to go see him again, would it?”
Sara shook her head. “No, it wouldn’t kill me, but it did make me… uncomfortable.”
Her smirk led Sara to suspect that Bonnie thought being uncomfortable would be of some benefit to Sara. If so, Sara disagreed. She saw nothing beneficial in being reminded of what she could never have.
The sky was still dark when a loud neigh woke Jerden from his nightmare. The horse had been doing that more and more, almost as though he sensed Jerden’s disturbing dream and refused to allow it to continue. Jerden had fallen asleep in his chair.
Again.
He had a perfectly good bed, but without Audrey’s soft, warm body to share it with him, it wasn’t a haven of respite or slumber, but a place to be reminded of what he’d done and what he’d lost.
Rising from his chair, he went out on the porch, Cria’s soft tread following close behind. The horse stood near the steps, his ebony coat gleaming in the moonlight. “I was having another bad dream.” He ran a hand down the animal’s elegant yet powerful neck. “But you knew that, didn’t you?”
The horse snorted, nudging Jerden’s chest with his nose.
“You should’ve gone with her. You belong to her, and she needs you—for different reasons than mine, perhaps—but she
does
need you.”
The stallion tossed his head, seeming to disagree. With a soft nicker, he turned sideways, inviting Jerden to mount, just as he always did.
One
last
ride.
Grasping the thick, flowing mane, he swung onto the stallion’s back. The horse pivoted on his hindquarters and launched into a gentle, rocking canter—a gait that lengthened into a thundering gallop as they left the house and its stand of pines behind. Jerden’s night vision was excellent, but he trusted the horse to find a clear path and let him run, knowing that the rush of wind in his hair would dispel the dregs of sleep as well as the lingering shadows of the dream.
The dream was always the same; one moment Audrey was walking beside him, the next, she lay crumpled and lifeless in the middle of the street while a crowd gathered. The murderer was quickly apprehended, her blue Davordian eyes wild with insane excitement. She didn’t seem to understand that committing murder was a crime that made her ineligible for Audrey’s job or any other. In her twisted mind, she had only to eliminate Audrey and the job was hers.
But as the powerful horse carried him onward and the moonlit landscape rushed past, those visions were thrust aside. His mind focused only on what his body needed to do to remain astride the stallion. The rest was pure sensory input—the scent of the horse’s sweat, the echo of his pounding hooves, the flow of the night air over his bare skin, the surge of speed when the terrain allowed it. A quick, downward glance revealed Cria keeping pace alongside, never slacking, running effortlessly through the night.
Before moving to Terra Minor, Jerden had never been alone like this, with only the land and the animals surrounding him. On board the refugee ship, he had been crowded together with other boys, and later, when he worked with Onca and Tarq, he seldom spent nights alone, only sleeping when his work was done.
If it could be called work. Later, when they’d hired Audrey, she’d often shared his bed, eventually sleeping with him exclusively. Jerden hadn’t realized what was happening then. It was simply the progression of events that occurred over time.
And now, he couldn’t have carried on with his work even if he’d wanted to. No, this seclusion was best. Nature might heal him eventually, but until then, solitude was the cure—no matter what others might think. He’d been urged to turn his land into a working ranch—to raise livestock, hire hands to help with the chores, build quarters for them, hire a cook—but Jerden wasn’t ready for that. For now, he enjoyed the peace that came with not having to discuss anything with anyone, often going for days without hearing another voice or having to answer a question.
He’d been rude to Sara Shield, but he’d only been able to see her as an intruder who would take from him his greatest source of solace. He harbored no illusions that she might not return. She would be back with whatever and whomever she needed to capture the horse and take him home. Jerden knew he should have offered to deliver him to her ranch—and in his other life, he would have done that and more; anything to make her smile. After all, pleasing women was what he did—what he’d
always
done—and he’d done it very well. But not anymore.
The horse slowed to a walk as they reached the foothills. The mountain range was public land, but Jerden had never seen anyone there, and he could enjoy his solitude on those rocky slopes as well as in his own home, perhaps even better. There he found freedom, fresh air to breathe, and space to roam—things he hadn’t had since his early childhood on Zetith. With the war already raging all around him, there wasn’t much of that even then.
There had been plenty of freedom on Rhylos, though of a different kind. A man could walk the streets of Damenk wearing nothing but a smile, but Terra Minor was a more family-oriented world. There were no brothels or casinos here. No laws against them; they simply didn’t exist. It was out of character for that world, if a world could be said to have a character. His nudity may have embarrassed Sara Shield, but he’d spent the last several years of his life wearing clothing only on rare occasions. He liked being naked. It was comfortable and natural for him.
Living in his own house on his own land with no outsiders was also comfortable and natural. The walk out onto his porch in the middle of the night to step over sleeping dogs and cats didn’t draw the censure of anyone. Not even the dogs and cats, none of which Jerden had purchased or adopted. They’d simply arrived on his doorstep, seeming to expect very little other than a place to sleep. Jerden had discovered a certain solace in brushing them, and they would take turns lying on the porch while he tended to them, removing parasites and treating them for fleas with herbs that Bonnie had given him. Feeding them wasn’t a problem; in fact, they ate most of the food Lynx supplied. These days, Jerden ate only to sustain himself, sometimes forgetting to eat at all.
Cria reminded him, though. If the horse renewed his spirit, Cria improved his health, growling at him if he didn’t clean his plate and lulling him to sleep with her purring. Like the others in his growing menagerie, the leopard had simply arrived one day. Following a particularly desperate run, he’d returned to the house, his legs cramping with fatigue, and had collapsed in a chair on the porch. Later that evening, he’d awakened to find her head resting on his thigh. She hadn’t left his side since, and he’d named her Cria because of the sound she made when she yawned.
He hadn’t named the horse, though. Perhaps because he’d known their relationship would be short-lived. Still, whether he had a name or not, all Jerden had to do was think about where he wanted to go, and the horse took him there. Having never ridden before, he didn’t know for certain but suspected that wasn’t always the case. Ultimately, however, it made no difference. Dawn would break and this interlude would end.
Unless he could make a deal with Sara Shield.
***
Sara was trying hard not to lose her temper, but it had been simmering near the surface ever since her meeting with Jerden Morokovitz, and what Lynx had to say wasn’t helping. Her eyes narrowed as she studied his image in the viewscreen. “Let me get this straight. He wants to
buy
my horse?”
“That’s right,” Lynx replied. “And, believe me, he’s got more than enough money to make it worth your while.”
“I doubt it,” Sara said bluntly. No amount of money could compensate her for the time she’d already spent, and there was no guarantee she could find another stallion of Danuban’s caliber anytime soon—another
available
stallion, that is—and then there was the eleven-month equine gestation period. She had mares that would be in season soon and paying stud fees wasn’t part of her plan, not to mention having to deal with Jerden. “I don’t suppose he’d settle for one of the foals, would he?”
“I got the impression it was
this
horse he wants. Not a replacement.”
“Well, that makes two of us,” Sara retorted. “Danuban is mine and he’s not for sale. If I’d wanted to deal with another stallion owner, I’d be breeding my mares to Nate Wolmack’s stud.”
Lynx snickered. “I don’t know much about horses, but I’ve seen his stallion, and there’s no comparison.”
“No kidding. Why else would I go to this much trouble? I’ve waited a long time for this horse, and believe me, going horse hunting on another planet isn’t easy.” To be perfectly correct, Sara had been waiting for Danuban all her life. He was the culmination of a lifetime of hard work, dedication, and planning. “I’m sorry, but the answer is no.”
I
sound
like
a
real
hard-ass.
She closed her eyes for a moment, schooling her voice to sound less harsh. “Look, if he wants to ride him once in a while, I’m fine with that, but Danuban isn’t just another horse. I need him.”
“I know you do, but Jerden needs him too. He’s… well, he’s improved some, but you never knew him before. He was
nothing
like this.”
“And if the horse helps him, I ought to be shot for not letting him keep him? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No, but nothing I’ve done to help him has worked. All he wants to do is hole up on his land and never see or speak to anyone. At least the horse gets him out of the house.” Lynx smiled. Not as tall as Jerden, with yellow eyes and curly, light brown hair, Lynx had been in even worse shape than Jerden when Bonnie hired him. Having come a long way himself, he obviously knew how difficult the journey was. Bonnie loved him enough to see him through it.
Sara had no such tie to Jerden and didn’t want one. She could see it now. She would sell him Danuban, enabling him to get back to his seductive playboy self—which is what Sara imagined him to have been before—and then he’d run off and marry Salan or some other sweet young thing. She’d be out a horse and a man in one fell swoop.
Sara stopped that thought cold. It shouldn’t matter who Jerden wound up with or what he did. And she wasn’t heartless. Far from it. If Danuban could help a grieving man return to normal, she ought to be more flexible and understanding.
But
what
about
me? What about
my
life?
Sara suspected that a man like Jerden could bring out her quashed romantic inclinations without even trying. She didn’t want to dig up those old feelings. She was better off without them.
“Of course, if Jerden had to come over to your place to ride him,” Lynx went on, “that might be even better. That way, he’d have to leave his place for a while.”
“That’s a pretty long walk,” Sara said drily. “I’d probably have to go and get him.”
“Might help,” Lynx said with a nod.
Sara started to voice her own approval when it hit her that if she did that, she’d be riding in a speeder with him. Sitting side by side. In an enclosed space.
Too
close
. Being in close proximity with a man still made her heart pound and her throat tighten. She’d never been able to get past the fear and had discovered that the best strategy was to deny her feelings and avoid men as much as possible. She’d hoped that using Lynx as a go-between would eliminate the need for any further contact with Jerden. This didn’t sound like she’d be avoiding him, especially if he didn’t bother to dress for the occasion. “I… I’ll think about it.”
“Then again, if he really wants to ride that horse, it might convince him to get his own speeder if we made him walk.”
“It’d be good for him,” Sara agreed. “Downright therapeutic, in fact.” Though Jerden didn’t appear to need any form of therapy—at least, not the physical type. Overall, he was the fittest-looking man she’d ever seen.
And
I’ve seen every square centimeter of him.
A flash of visual memory shook her to the core.
No. Not going there.
Lynx nodded. “It’ll take some time to bring him around—that, and a little love. You’ll see. Since he came here he’s gotten a reputation as a wild man, but he’s really nothing like this.”
Love? It was an echo of her earlier thoughts, prompting Sara to wonder whose love he might need, but she bit back her question only to have it replaced by another. “Why would it matter to me what he’s like?”
“Well, he
is
your nearest neighbor,” Lynx reminded her. “It would be nice if you two at least got along with one another.”
“I suppose so.” Considering he’d already lived there for several months without the two of them ever meeting, Sara couldn’t see the relevance. It wasn’t as though she’d ever needed to borrow a cup of sugar from him. Then again, disputes between neighbors were to be avoided whenever possible, and the situation with Danuban had all the makings of a feud waiting to happen.
“I’ll run the idea past him,” Lynx said. “But I’ll also make it clear that you aren’t interested in selling.” He paused, smiling in that bone-melting way that all the Zetithians she’d ever met seemed to have, with the possible exception of Jerden. “Thanks for not being… nasty about it. He really doesn’t need that right now.”
“If it had been any other horse…”
“I know. This one is special.”
Sara nodded. “
Very
special.”
She’d already established herself as a breeder of fine Arabians, but she only had four Andalusian mares, and she hated to dilute their bloodlines by crossing them with one of the Arab stallions. Though they would have been high-quality foals, they wouldn’t hold a candle to Danuban’s offspring.
If only she could catch the sonofabitch.
After the call from Lynx, Sara went out to tend her roses, needing their graceful beauty to settle her frayed nerves. As she pruned the spent blossoms and pulled a few stray weeds, she found the sense of balance these tasks always gave her. Peace restored, she went out to the main barn where Reutal, her Norludian stable hand, was leading a bay Arabian back to her stall, closely followed by the mare’s young filly.
Nodding toward the Andalusians stabled at the far end of the barn, he waved his sucker-tipped fingers and licked his fishlike lips in a lascivious manner. “That Katy mare is so ready, one touch made my tongue hard.”