Wilde Forever (Wilde Women Book 1) (53 page)

Oh my fucking God. She started shaking uncontrollably. He’d done it. He actually left without talking to her. Frantically pushing her feet into an old pair of Uggs by the door, she bolted from the studio and ran to the house, not caring even a little bit that she probably looked like a lunatic in her Philadelphia Eagles night shirt and boots.

Flying into the house she ran straight up the stairs to the master bedroom where she found Jonas standing in the hallway staring at a diagram tacked to the wall. The racket she’d made stomping up the stairway brought his head swiveling in her direction with shock etched on every inch of his face.

“Ms. Wilde,” he gasped. “Are you alright?” He looked her up and down once, long enough for Brynn to suck in enough oxygen to speak.

“Where is he?” she choked out in a half sob. The poor man looked like he was facing a firing squad. Brynn didn’t doubt that she was making quite a memorable impression. And probably not a good one.

“Oh, uh—didn’t he tell you? Mr. Merrill took off right after we got here. Said something about having to go home.”

The scrap of paper he’d written the note on was still in her hand. Brynn crumpled it in a trembling fist and slumped against the wall. For the first time in her life she understood what the expression
going pale as a ghost
actually felt like. The sensation of all the blood in her head rushing south caught her unawares. Her lips went numb and a sensation, sort of like an arctic blast coupled with burning heat, settled in her throat.

Jonas reached her before she hit the floor, gently helping her back down the stairs and onto the nearest chair. She felt empty. Gutted. He’d left dammit, without saying a word. It was her worst nightmare.

“You don’t look well, Ms. Wilde,” Jonas murmured uneasily. “Is there someone I should call?”

She stared at him with unseeing eyes. Someone he should call? The irony of it hit her like a ton of bricks. Yeah, there was someone he should call, but that someone was driving away from there. Away from her. Hysteria burst upon her like a balloon being popped, making her flinch with a jolt. Embarrassment flooded her soul. Making a public spectacle wasn’t anything she was comfortable with. Some things, like heartbreak, were supposed to be private.

Taking a deep breath, Brynn steadied herself. “I’m fine, Jonas. Really. Thank you for your help—but if you don’t mind I just need to take in what’s happened. I’m going to sit here for a bit and then clear out of your way. I’ll be down in the bakery of you need anything, okay?”

He shook his head but didn’t back off. No surprise. He was young, but she could tell he was one of those über responsible types. Was no wonder Jax had left him in charge.

She tried a half-smile that in no way reached her eyes. “I’m fine Jonas. Truly. Mr. Merrill took me by surprise—leaving the way he did. You go on now and get back to work. Don’t worry about me.”

As he slowly walked away, she saw him turn and look back at her before he climbed the stairs. With all the wherewithal she could muster, Brynn calmly said, “Let me know when you leave for the day.” He nodded again, and then disappeared up the stairs leaving her to grapple with her emotions.

Ninety minutes later she stepped through the back door of the bakery and looked around the gleaming kitchen. Her world was crumbling but there was always this. Nana could give away the house. Jax could leave without a word. She couldn’t do anything about either scenario but she could bake. It’s what she always did when any sort of turmoil happened.

Amy saw her through the window and hurried in to ask what the hell was up. Brynn rarely if ever made an appearance on a Monday. It was the one day when her intrepid assistant handled everything and when the various groups she offered the tearoom to for meeting space came and went.

“What the hell, boss,” Amy exclaimed when she burst through the doors. “You look awful, Brynn. Is everything alright?”

Jesus. What was that? The fucking question of the day? “Just wanted to whip up more cookies and cupcakes for the Halloweeners. If I get carried away, we can always donate the extras to the local daycares. Or whatever,” she added absently. “Don’t let me keep you from anything, Amy.” Brynn ended with a shrug.

She was going to let the ‘
you look awful’
comment go unanswered. With the way things were going, if she had to come up with a plausible response each time the question got thrown in her face, she’d be spending day and night lying through her damn teeth.

I
T TOOK JAX A LITTLE under four hours to drive from Bucks County to suburban D.C. in Virginia where his parents lived. He always loved coming home to the big colonial home where he and his brother had been raised. It was homey, quaint, screamed Americana, and housed many happy childhood memories.

Arriving at lunchtime, he pulled in the driveway, instantly spotted his mom’s car, and smiled. He wasn’t surprised she was at home and probably waiting for him. Last year she’d suddenly retired, deciding twenty-five years as a preschool teacher was long enough. These days she spent her time volunteering and working a couple of days a week at a local garden center where she could indulge her love of plants. His dad would be at school until late afternoon. He was a high school principal who always arrived early and stayed late. It was just the way he was. He’d be retiring soon as well and when he did, Jax hoped that Caleb would be back in the states so Adam and Kate Merrill didn’t have to spend any more time worrying about their youngest son. Both the Merrill boys had caused their parents enough anxiety. Putting it that way made Jax squirm. Thinking the worst part of his PTSD days were over, it was a bitch to realize he wasn’t in the clear. Not by a long shot.

Bounding down the path to the back door, Jax burst into the house and called out, “Mom! I’m home.” He heard a happy squeal then braced himself for the overdose of hugs and kisses he knew were coming his way.

“Why, Jackson Merrill, you are still the handsomest boy this side of the Mason-Dixon line,” she cried with unabashed joy as she came around a corner and lit up when she saw him. “Come give your mama some sugar and be quick about it.”

“Mom,” Jax murmured as he folded his mother in a comforting bear hug. Next to Brynn’s loving embrace, the arms around him now calmed him instantly. Maybe everything really was going to be all right.

After eating more food than any one human being had a right to scarf down, courtesy of his mom’s overactive need to feed him now that he was back under her roof, Jax hunkered down in his old room where he promptly fell asleep.

Both his parents looked in on him much later but aside from briefly rousing to greet his dad, he pretty much slept like the dead for the next two days. He didn’t dream at all, just slept. And then slept some more. On the third day he got up, showered, picked at some leftovers, watched some TV then went right back to sleep. Through all of this Adam and Kate Merrill kept watch over him but made no effort to find out what the fuck was going on.

Finally on Saturday, when he couldn’t sleep anymore, Jax came back to life slowly. It was Halloween and their property was covered with an abundance of fall decorations that he silently noted from the large front bay window where he stood drinking a huge mug of coffee as he stared out at the familiar world of his hometown.

He hadn’t heard his father’s approach until he was stranding right next to him. “Something about this seems sort of familiar son,” his dad pointed out somberly.

Jax looked up at him with a question in his eyes.

“You slept like you hadn’t shut your eyes for a year when you came back from Iraq,” Dad gently reminded him, wiping the question from his face.
Ugh.
He remembered.

“You ready to talk about whatever’s got you running, Jackson?”

There were a lot of things he wanted to get off his chest—stuff he knew needed to be discussed, but first he wanted some answers, and his dad was the only one who could shed some light on what was sticking in his brain.

“Can I ask you a question, Dad?” he asked.

“Sure son but something about your tone tells me I might not like it. You’re not in any trouble are you?”

Jax chuckled.
Trouble?
Yeah, he was in a world of trouble but not in the way his dad meant. “No trouble, Dad. Just confused. And curious. It occurs to me that you and Mom might have some answers about something that’s bothering me.”

His dad looked at him with an unreadable expression and sighed. “Okay Jax. C’mon then. Let’s go sit on the patio for a bit and get out of your mother’s hair. She’s making treat bags for tonight and between you and me, I could do without the candy temptation. No matter how old you get, why is it still three for you and one for me?” he joked good-naturedly.

They sauntered together into the backyard, stopping in the kitchen to top off their coffees then sat at the big table in the backyard. The quiet peacefulness was reminiscent of Brynn’s home. The reminder clutched at his heart.

“Let’s have it Jax. What’s on your mind?” his dad drawled. “You find your old dad’s stack of ancient Playboys in the garage or something?”

Jax smiled. “Yeah, Caleb and I found that shit a long time ago. Miss September 1977 was a particular favorite,” he snickered.

Adam Merrill laughed like hell and smacked him on the shoulder. “Like those blondes then, do you son?”

“How the hell do you remember that she was a blonde? Oh my God, Dad. Dirty old man much?” he yelped.

“Alright, alright. Enough of that. Spit out what’s on your mind.”

Jax heaved a deep sigh and just went for it. Let the chips fall where they may. “Dad…I’m in love with Brynn Baron-Wilde.” The look of shock on his father’s face followed quickly by what looked like embarrassment all but confirmed every one of his suspicions.

“I wasn’t born yesterday, and it took me about one full day to start wondering just what the fuck you and your old friend were up to. Just give it to me straight, Dad. Were you and the Wilde’s matchmaking when you sent me off to New Hope? I really need to know because shit’s all kinds of fucked up. I should tell you that I know all about the Wilde family connection to Bryanna Charles and the crazy old lady’s plan to marry Brynn off.”

“Wow. You missed your true calling. Maybe you should have tried your hand at being a private investigator, my boy. Sounds to me like you’ve got everything figured out pretty damn good without me saying a word.”

“The truth would help a lot,” Jax muttered.

His dad nodded and took a few sips of his coffee, staring out at the huge backyard. “Matchmaking is a pretty apt word I suppose,” he admitted after a minute. “Your mom and I hung out with Bob Wilde and his wife Darcy back in the spring at a fraternity reunion. Long story short, we were all lamenting the lack of grandchildren in our lives and next thing you know, we were plotting to hook our kids up, one way or the other. If it helps any, we’d be pushing Caleb at Brynn’s sister if you two didn’t work out.”

So. He’d been right. Sending him off to lend a hand on a restoration project was just a ruse in the hopes that the Wilde’s divorced daughter and the Merrill’s bachelor son would hit it off. Jesus Christ. Would serve his dad right if he told him just how well they hit it off. Only thing that kept him silent was protecting Brynn. Nobody needed to know that he’d had his hand in her panties and his tongue between her legs the first day they met.

“Right,” Jax grumbled. “So, you fucked with my life because you wanted grandkids.”

“Doesn’t sound all that flattering when you put it like that, and honestly—it was more about wanting our kids to be happy than having babies. Brynn just sounded like the sort of gal who would keep you on your toes. Didn’t think you’d be likely to settle for anything less and from what her parents said, she has a nurturing streak a mile wide.” His dad shrugged and threw him a pleading look. “We weren’t wrong, I take it, since this conversation began with you declaring to be in love with the lady.”

Silence descended while Jax considered what he now knew to be true. He’d only grumbled at his dad because he could. Truth was, he wanted to thank him for interfering, but since the outcome of his relationship with the woman in question was still very much up in the air, he kept that part to himself.

“I need to talk to Marty, Dad. Something happened with Brynn that really freaked me out. I almost … I mean, I could have …” He didn’t have the strength to fill in that particular blank. Luckily, his dad seemed to understand without him having to say anything else.

“He’s waiting for your call, son. There’s a support group that meets three times a week at the community center that we think you should go to. I don’t know what happened and don’t need to know unless you really want to talk about it, but if there’s a problem, I’m glad you knew enough to take a step back and get help.”

“I’m not going to lie to you…I fucked up pretty bad. And I wasn’t thinking straight when I left so Brynn’s probably pretty upset, but I can’t think about any of that until I get a handle on what’s happening to me.” Jax lowered his head and sat there dejected, scared, disgusted. All those things.

Adam Merrill put his hand on his oldest son’s shoulder and squeezed, letting Jax know he had his full support and love. “You’re a good man, son. Don’t ever forget that. Whatever is wrong, well…we can handle it. That’s what family is for. I’m sorry to hear that Brynn’s upset but she’s a strong woman if what her parents have said about her is even half true.”