Will (9 page)

When you’re ready, Mr. Armstrong
.

Sorry, Brother
.

We were up to the final four who were trying out for the lead role, some guy called Tony. One or two of them had been all right. But in my opinion not good enough to get up there and play the lead without causing themselves and every single person involved in the musical severe embarrassment. I settled on my guitar, ready to have my eardrums bleed again. Possible Tony number four. About five notes in it became pretty obvious this bloke was different from the other wannabes. Whoever he was, he could sing.

Every person in the hall stopped and stared. Not only could he sing, but he didn’t look like he could sing. He was built. Not gym-junky built, but like an AFL player and nearly as tall. It didn’t seem
to fit. I had no idea who he was. He had to be a senior and, since I hadn’t seen him in our year, he had to be in Year 12. But they’d been warned off the musical this year.

I watched Brother Pat and Mr. Andrews exchange looks.

Thank you, that was excellent. How about having a go at another of the tunes?

Brother Pat waited for all the geeks to scramble behind their music stands.

Ahh, William, would you mind preparing yourself
.

The boom from his voice nearly blew me off my seat. I was definitely over being Brother Pat’s right-hand man. We played the song through once and then the new guy joined in on the second go, taking it all in his stride. He mucked around when it got to the sappy parts about how much he loved this girl he’d met for two seconds and he was actually pretty funny.

Good! Good! I’d like to see you, young man, once this is over
.

I kept my ears open trying to get the guy’s name, but Andrews and Brother were tying everything up and finally seemed to be in a hurry to get out of there. No complaints from me.

Mr. Andrews stood on stage and called for silence.

All right, thanks, everybody. A big hand to those boys who got up and sang today, we know it’s never an easy thing to do. And an extra big thank-you to the members of the band. It was a long wait between singers but you all did very well
.

The geeks shone like their newly polished instruments.

Even you, Mr. Armstrong …

Wanker! I smiled a fake smile and bent down to start packing away my guitar. As I did a pair of jean-clad legs moved in and out of my vision and at various intervals jumped up and down in front of me. It could only be one person. I looked up slowly.

Do you think Chris has left the bag of clothes? You don’t think he’s forgotten, do you? If he’s forgotten then Dad is going to find out and he’ll contact the school and then it will be really bad. It’s not that I’m not grateful, I am, it’s just that …

I continued to stare, wondering how someone with such a small head and mouth could manufacture so many words in such a short amount of time.

I’ve got a great idea. How about you go out and have a look?

Zach stopped.
Well, I was going to but I was waiting for you to come out too …

He trailed off and his eyes bulged like they had at Chris’s place. This kid was waiting for a bodyguard and I was it.

All right, mate, just give me a little room to get the rest of this stuff away
.

And with that he pogoed his way over to Brother Pat and offered to help with the cleanup. I shook my head. What chance had this kid got?

OK, Freak, let’s go
.

It was about then that Brother Pat moved into the frame.

It appears your young friend here has offered to pack away the music stands, Will
.

The Freak nodded enthusiastically.

And I’m sure he’d love some assistance
.

I gave Brother as much of a smile as I could and then threw a death stare at the Freak. Not only did I have to give up my Saturday but now I was cleaning up as well!

Hey, Willo
.

It was Chris, dressed in full gear, ready to go and smash some heads.

Here’s the little guy’s stuff
.

He smiled at the music stand in my hands.
Good to see you’re helping out
.

Get stuffed
.

Just at that moment the Freak bounded over.

Hey, Chris. Thanks heaps. I’ll just go and get changed before Dad gets here. Will, I’d really like you to meet my dad. Do you reckon you could hang around until he comes?

I looked at him and then at Chris, who had a great big smile on his face.

Watch out, mate, you might have yourself a one-man fan club there
.

At least he’s not going to campaign for me to be school captain
.

Can’t hear you, mate, got to go
.

Chris bolted out the door, his football studs echoing throughout the hall.

The Freak positively skipped out of the toilets. He looked around and then pointed over at the entrance to the hall.

Hey, there he is!

I could only assume that the
he
was his dad. One thing I knew was that I was definitely not meeting his father; it had been enough of a spin-out day without that.

Listen, mate, I’ve got to go. But I promise I’ll meet him another time
.

Disappointment flickered over his face for the briefest of moments and then evaporated.

It’s all right, Will. There’ll be plenty of time to meet him. Just think about it, we get to hang out for a whole two months
.

Brilliant! Just bloody brilliant!

Waddlehead had made the fatal mistake of announcing to the whole school that the first combined rehearsals for the musical would take place this afternoon in the St. Andrew’s hall. The school went into a frenzy. It was one of the few occasions when boys actually hung around after the bell and, just coincidentally, outside the entrance to the hall.

The room for detention was diagonally opposite. It looked like they would have to open two more classrooms, so many people turned up. I figured I would have to spend enough of my time over in the hall, so I wasn’t exactly full of the same excitement. Jock, however, who’d been nailed for taking an incident in the woodwork room involving a jigsaw and a junior a little too far, was very excited.

We were outside the H block waiting for the teacher to arrive. Even Chris had decided to hang around before we were called into sixty minutes of torture by lines and silence.

So, boys, who’s on?

It was a Wednesday-afternoon regular, Dion.

Danielli, I think
.

Shit!

I knew what he meant. Some detentions could be a laugh depending on what teacher was on. Danielli meant this week was
definitely not going to be a laugh. Jock, however, was oblivious to everything except the girl factor.

Come on, mate, you must have seen them!

He hadn’t stopped harassing me since the bell had gone for admin.

You’ve been involved from the start. What were they like?

Jock, I told you they weren’t there
.

Come on, Willo, you can’t keep them all to yourself, that’s being selfish. Were there any real hotties? You know, the dancing, wear their hair in a ponytail type
.

The
what
type?
The boys cracked up laughing.

I heard that the head of Green House is a real sort
.

Who?

Jock ignored the question.

You know, man, when I first found out about your punishment I thought it was slack. I really felt sorry for you, man, but now, when I think about it, it’s not even a punishment
.

Yeah right, Jock
.

No, think about it. This has the potential to be a major babe fest. The ratio of cool fellas to hot babes would have to be in your favor. You said yourself that the auditions were full of Year Seven geeks
.

That was the band, you idiot!

Whatever!
He pointed to the other group of St. Andrew’s students who were staying behind on a Wednesday afternoon—except this lot were there voluntarily.
As if those nobheads are going to be in with a chance
.

Most of us just let Jock crap on; Chris, however, would always arrive at a point where he’d tell him to pull his head in.

Mate, don’t you go to the movies? Don’t you watch people get
paid millions for what they do on-screen? They would’ve been the types who were in school musicals
.

No way, man. You can’t tell me that Russell Crowe was ever in a puncey school musical
.

Yeah, he was. He was in the Coffs Harbour production of
The Sound of Music
.

Incredulous, Jock scanned the group, looking for support.
No way! I don’t believe you
. We nodded back at him with fake serious faces.
Have you seen him in
Gladiator?
A bloke like that could never …

There was no way Chris knew whether Russell Crowe was ever in a school musical, but he was enjoying watching Jock’s reaction as much as the rest of us.

Jock refused to change down a gear.

The point I was trying to make was that Willo here could turn the punishment from hell into pick-up palace. And when he does, I want him to spare a moment’s thought for his mates …

What Jock didn’t realize was that his mates were now firmly focused on the arrival of the Lakeside Girls bus, which was making a slow procession up the side entrance.

A nice sensitive guy like myself could get on really well with one of those dancer types. I don’t want one of those arty types, though, they think too much….

Jock was the only St. Andrew’s student in the yard who had missed the bus come to a halt at the hall.

Jock!

No, Willo, you’ve got a—

Just shut up, mate, and have a look!

The bus doors opened. Silence filled the middle quad.

There she is! She’s the one I was talking about, the head of Green House!

The entire occupancy of the quad, including the girls, turned and looked in our direction.

Shut up, mate!

You bloody idiot!

Don’t point, you loser!

We stood captured in the spotlight, victims of the Jock factor. This time a moon was definitely not going to help the situation. I decided the best way to handle it was to turn around and pretend that I wasn’t there.

At that point I heard a familiar
Woooooooooooo!
fill the quad and the boys started slapping Jock on the back. I turned around to see the backs of the girls as they made their way through the doors of the hall, laughter trailing behind.

You missed it, Willo! Jock’s in love. The head of Green House just blew him a kiss
.

OK, boys, that’s me out of here
. Chris nodded at Danielli, who was making his way over from his office, detention folder in his hands.
Thanks for the show, Jock!

Danielli looked over his extra-large coffee.
This must be the first time all year that everybody’s here
.

He looked over at the hall and turned.

Any particular reason?

The boys put their heads down. Some grinned.

Well, it’s all right, fellas, I’ll make sure that you’re out of here on the dot of four-thirty. I hear that’s right about the time rehearsals finish up
.

Danielli, he was all right really.

It was Friday, the last period of the week. We were always restless in this lesson and seized any opportunity to get out of having to do any writing, or anything that resembled work.

I’d kind of gotten over being angry with Mr. Andrews. I was doing my time and there was nothing I could do about it. I was pretending to be listening to him but really I was watching the clock.

He was on one of his favorite topics.

So tell me, gentlemen, what is the stereotype of the footballer?

Jock!!!

The class cracked up. Even if Jock had been there, he would have had no idea about the pun. Even Andrews had a grin on his face.

Let’s steer away from names, please, especially when they aren’t here to defend themselves. And we all know that a stereotype can’t be just one person. Don’t we?

I don’t know about that. Jock was pretty much a walking, talking stereotypical footballer.

Chris, what do you think?

Strong, big thick neck, dumb, sexist, violent, drinks beer …

There was an outcry from the footy-heads in the room.

No, no, no way, sir! It’s changed from that
.

This was coming from the winger on the St. Andrew’s winning side.

But we are talking about a “type,” Dion. Chris plays football so he wouldn’t be saying that about himself
.

Groans and mutters from the class.

Yeah, but he’s different! Let’s get back to Jock again—he’s heaps more entertaining
.

And the class cracked up for the second time.

That’s why stereotypes are so dangerous, sir, isn’t it?

It was a deliberate windup and as expected the class turned on Chris again, yelling out,
Teacher’s pet!
and
Brownnose!
Chris grinned, exactly the reaction he planned.

Do you think there is a positive image of the footballer, Dion?