Willoughby 03 - A Rogue's Deadly Redemption (18 page)

It was as if a fog of red cleared from his eyes, and the scene around them crystallized. Robert could see Lily, her shoulders tensed, her eyes wide with alarm. Her family positioned within distance to yank her out of reach if necessary, to push him back—as though he might harm her.

His arms slackened.

He stepped back. “I don’t want this.” Even though he did.

Marcus stepped forward, grabbing Robert’s arm. But it wasn’t anger, it was desperation, urgency. Anguish bent his shoulders. “I am begging you, Robert. Tell me what you’ve done. I can’t lose another brother, God help me.”

Robert remained silent.

It’s who you are, memory intact or not.

He was a bastard of the first order.

Marcus dropped his arm. “Everything I did, I tried to… God, why am I trying? Nothing has changed.” He gave a mirthless laugh. “You’ve made it clear you want nothing to do with us. This time I’m listening.” He stepped back. “You’re on your own.”

He turned to leave, then stopped to look at Lily. “He will destroy you if you let him.” His gaze flicked to her family. “Do whatever you have to do to get her away from him.”

“I plan to.” Adam’s response was solid, a warning that Robert had a battle still to fight.

Marcus strode out.

The room grew silent, and Robert had no words to express the pain that flooded him. He hadn’t understood anything Marcus had said to him. His cryptic words about their mother echoed Cary’s. Robert felt the ache in his heart, in his gut, in the weight of his limbs. The torment was cutting him in half.

He couldn’t seem to catch his breath.

“Lily.” Adam’s voice sounded hollow, far away, as the rush of blood throbbed in Robert’s ears. His head, God, it hurt.

“Not now, Adam.”

“We’re leaving,” Adam said.

Robert thrust out a hand, grabbed Lily’s arm and clung to it. “Don’t go.”

She placed her hand over his. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yes, damn it you are.”

“Adam, stay out of this.” Lily squeezed Robert’s hand. “You need to sit down. You’re not fully recovered.”

“He is playing you for a fool!”

Lily rounded on her brother. “Look at him! He can barely stand. So I will help him, and there is nothing you can do about it.”

Robert fought to gain his posture. He didn’t want Lily thinking of him as a bedridden patient who needed coddling. He needed to protect
her
, not the other way around.

“Adam.” One of the women spoke, her voice the calm in the midst of the stormy seas around them. “He isn’t likely to offer answers now, and we can discuss things later.”

“I appreciate that you came,” Lily said, “but Robert cannot be here alone. He’s in no condition, and those men could come back…” Her words trailed.

“If you think I’m leaving you here to face that, you have lost your senses.” He turned to Robert. “I shouldn’t be surprised
you
have no awareness or concern of the danger you’re putting her in, even though no one has even told me what this bloody danger is. You have never once put her needs above your own. Even with your memory missing, you are the same, selfish bastard you’ve always been.”

“I don’t want her in danger,” Robert shot back. The flashes started again, blinding him. He closed his eyes, lifted a hand to his head to try and stop the spinning, the whips of pain that lashed his head.

“Robert?” Lily’s voice was distant.

Through the fog, one of the other women spoke up. “It’s clear he cannot be left, and it isn’t safe for either of them to be here. Lily, you and Robert should come home with us.”

“No,” Lily said sharply.

The panic that infused her tone cut through the fog in his brain, and he focused on her. Her eyes had grown wide, and she cast a fearful gaze at him.

“What is it?” What had her so afraid?

She was living there already. Why was she so fearful of them both returning there?

“He…he needs to be here, where it’s familiar,” Lily said.

“Lily, you told me countless times that Robert barely spent time in this house. Is this about Co—”

“This is his house.”

What was wrong with her?

“We have to remain here,” she added. “It’s the only place we have to search.”

“Search for what?” Her brother hadn’t missed that point.

“The men that took us were looking for something, Robert owes them something. But he doesn’t know what it is. It must be in this house.”

“What do you owe? Is it money? What?” Adam asked Robert.

Robert stared back at the glare directed his way. He was acutely aware of the sketches on his desk. They seemed larger than life, filling the room, as though they contained a beacon meant to light the way directly to them.

He needed to tell them he’d been a forger.

“He doesn’t know,” Lily jumped in, her voice high. “But we have a week to find it. They won’t hurt us for a week, Adam.”

The anger faded from Adam’s eyes, leaving them flat, unemotional.

Robert didn’t think that was a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

“They won’t hurt you for at least a week.” Adam’s words echoed Lily’s, but his were monotone. Smooth. The measured tones of a man at his limit.

“I need to tell—”

Robert found himself hauled up, again, this time against Adam, who had leaped at him, grabbed his shirt and yanked him close until their faces were inches apart.

Instinct kicked in. Despite the pain, Robert clamped a hand around Adam’s arm. “Let go.”

Adam twisted his fist in Robert’s shirt. “I could kill you.”

Lily’s hands came in between them as she tried to stop it. There were people surrounding them, and then strong arms clamped around Adam and dragged him backwards.

Lily remained and tilted her head to look at him. Her eyes were stricken, and Robert felt the weight of her worry.

“Go with them. I can figure this out.” He had the sketches of the notes. He could find the rest, deliver what he owed, and then they could put the pieces of their lives together.

“I should pummel you for putting her in danger,” Adam said. “Illness be damned.”

“Enough,” a woman yelled, who then placed a firm hand on Adam’s arm. “Lily, you and Robert
will
return
to Adam’s. You will not be left here in danger, neither of you. We are family. We take care of our own. We’ll send men to search this house upside down. They’ll find whatever it is Robert must return. But enough is enough.” She whirled on Adam. “And
you
. Baby and I will deal with you at home.”

“Let me go,” Adam said to Ravensdale, who held his arms.

The man raised his brow. “Are you going to behave? I’m not about to let either your wife or mine blame me for any of this.”

“Blast it, let go.” Adam yanked free, took a tense breath. By the fists at his side, he hadn’t satisfied his need, and Robert watched him warily.

“You have ten minutes to pack his things,” Adam told Lily.

“Adam, I
can’t
.” The words strangled in Lily’s throat.

The calm female stepped forward. “You can and you will.”

“Blythe—“

“It will be all right.”

When Lily didn’t respond, Robert turned to her. The fear stamped on her features surprised him. “I should stay here,” he told her. “Continue to search.”

The other woman waved a hand to dismiss his words. “She’ll never let you stay without her, and none of us will let her stay here at all. If there is something to find, our men will find it.”

“But—”

The woman crossed her arms. “Do you find an issue with that? Because I believe Lily’s safety is the priority.”

It was. She was right.

Robert nodded. “I need to let Edwin know.” His permanently affixed shadow would be none too happy if he left again without warning.

“I’ll find Anna to pack,” Lily said. She left the room, her family followed. Robert drew a deep breath.

He moved to the desk and scooped up the sketches—all of them—and shoved them inside one of the sketch books. If those men were going to find the banknotes he had forged, he needed to prepare Lily.

Lily’s blood had drained to her toes, leaving her feeling a little nauseous. The carriage ride felt like torture, as each roll of the wheels took them closer to Adam’s home.

Took Robert closer.

Where Cordelia lived.

All of them under one roof.

She hadn’t been able to say a word the entire trip, for the panic inside her. It had taken root in her stomach and spread with wild abandon. She’d had to swallow the fear several times already.

She couldn’t look at Robert. Even when his hand came to rest on hers, when their fingers laced. Lily clung to them, drawing whatever strength she could.

Ironic that the very man who made her feel so insecure was also the one to feed her strength.

The churning of the wheels began to slow.

Her entire body felt stiff, tense, and Lily wished she could reverse the last hour and refuse the offer.

What had she been thinking?

She couldn’t do this.

A warm hand landed on hers, and Lily looked up, met Blythe’s eyes. The empathy in them told Lily that she’d done a pitiful job of hiding her terror.

“We’re here,” Blythe said. “Why don’t you two take it slow. I’m going to go in and be sure Aria is prepared for you.”

Blythe hurried out before them. Mere minutes later, they were out of the carriage and standing on the sidewalk before the house.

Lily sucked in air.

“Do you want to tell me what is so bad about being here?”

Lily stared at the house, unable to meet the questions she could feel.

“Lily? What is it?”

What was worse? Watching it unfold, without giving him warning? Or telling him what he would feel when he walked in and saw Cordelia, so they’d both be prepared?

Because as much as Lily wanted to believe that she would remain first in his heart, she couldn’t. The threads of insecurity had been embroidered onto her very being.

“Let’s go in,” she told him, without answering his questions. She didn’t wait, but knew he followed her up the steps.

Her hand reached out to touch the door, knowing the woman he’d wanted in the past stood on the other side.

How had Lily let herself get so invested?

She had believed in him once before, and he had broken her heart. She’d been so willing to give it back to him, to let go and jump in without heed of the consequences to come later.

It was later.

His hand landed on the small of her back, and she jumped as they entered the house. The warmth of the entry way threatened to suffocate, and she darted her gaze around.

Empty. She breathed a small sigh of relief. She’d take every second she could.

Blythe came walking toward them. “Perhaps you’d like to get settled, Robert? Aria has prepared a room for you.”

Lily felt his concern in his steady gaze on her, he wasn’t an idiot. He nodded in an agreeable way that somehow made it clear he knew they needed time. Lily watched him as he walked up the stairs.

Blythe came to stand next to her. “She isn’t here,” she said softly. “She went shopping.”

The strings holding Lily’s body together sagged.

“But she will return, Lily. What are—” Blythe grabbed her forearm. “Come with me.”

Blythe dragged her into the parlor.

Lily marveled at the way Blythe and Aria managed to achieve their goals through such different means. Aria was fire and brimstone, and Blythe was calm, forceful winds that pushed you across the room before you realized you’d moved.

Before long, Lily was face to face with that force of nature.

“What are you doing?” Blythe asked with soft concern.

“I am helping him.”

Blythe snorted. “You and I both know that isn’t true. Even putting aside the danger for a moment—and we will discuss that —I see how you look at him. I see how protective you are. You’re setting yourself up to be heartbroken all over again. You
left
him, remember?”

“I left the other Robert,” Lily argued. “But he…he’s different.”

She so wanted him to be different.

“If he’s different, it’s because he has no frame of reference. What happens when he does?” Blythe’s words rankled Lily. She didn’t want to think about that.

“He told me he loves me.”

“And you believe him?”

“I want to.” God, how she wanted to.

“He’s injured, feeling very alone, I imagine, and my darling girl, you are the picture of the life he wants to hold on to. It’s probably a very heady feeling for him, one in which he doesn’t feel so damaged.”

“You’re wrong.” Even as Lily said it, the doubts, uncertainties crept in. They’d never truly left. Somehow, they always edged everything she did, said.

“Is that why you stopped Adam from even saying Cordelia’s name?” Blythe asked. “You haven’t told Robert everything, have you?”

Lily looked away, unable to answer.

“You’ve built something on a fantasy, Lily. It’s going to come crashing down.” Blythe straightened. “You’ll have to explain it to him soon enough. He’s here. He will meet her.”

“But…” Lily stopped the words before the thought came out.

“But what?”

“If he doesn’t remember her. If he never remembers?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Empathy pursed Blythe’s lips. Or pity. Neither of which Lily wanted.

It was an awful thought. One she should be ashamed to even consider.

“Is that the life you want?” Blythe asked. “Constantly in fear of the day that might come?”

No, it wasn’t. Lily wanted a life with a man who adored her, who loved her without reservation, without hesitation. Who would fight for her like this version of Robert had been willing to do so many times already.

She wanted to be that important to someone. She wanted that someone to be Robert.

Even though she knew, she knew with that ache buried deep inside, that he might never be.

A scuffle in the entry way sent Lily’s body into tense stillness.

Had Cordelia come home already?

Shopping for her was an hours-long affair, and Lily had prayed for more time.

Then Adam strode in. He went straight for the sidebar and poured himself a liberal drink.

“None for me?” Lily joked, trying to lighten the mood as she let out a slow breath.

He grabbed another glass and dropped it with a clink. In minutes, he’d filled them both and brought hers over.

“What, none for me?” Blythe asked dryly.

“This time, it isn’t your husband who has compelled me to drink,” he shot back at Blythe with a quirk of a smile.

Adam and Blythe’s husband had taken quite some time to put aside their differences.

Lily took the glass Adam proffered. The last time she’d partaken of her brother’s brandy had involved her husband, as well. At Blythe’s wedding, before her own, when she was watching her sister’s happiness and trying to believe that her own betrothed would even be one ounce as blissful to marry her as Michael had been to marry Blythe.

Blissful wasn’t a word she would have used in her marriage, even when things had been good between them. Lily took a sip and let the fiery liquid heat her insides. The scorches down her throat had an oddly soothing affect.

Adam shot down his drink and set the glass down with a thunk. “All right. Tell me all of it.”

Warmth prickled Lily’s skin as she recalled Robert’s hands, kisses…no, she wouldn’t be sharing that. So far, Adam had yet to make good on his promise to pummel Robert and she wasn’t about to remind him of it.

So she went back to the night of Robert’s accident and continued through the events in Robert’s office. She told him everything, including Captain Keenan’s involvement. Well, almost everything.

Some things your brother didn’t need to know.

Adam brought a hand up to his forehead and then ran it through his hair. “And you have no idea what the thugs were after?”

She shook her head. “None. I don’t think Robert does either.”

“That’s debatable.”

She ignored him. “All we found were a number of sketches. He’s an artist, Adam. He’s
good
, and they mentioned something about that but what could he possibly owe them? A painting? How could that be worth such threats?” She frowned. “Why would Captain Keenan be involved?”

“You have to be mistaken,” Blythe replied, shaking her head. “It’s been a few years since Michael has seen him, but he is as honorable as they come.”

“I called him by name, Blythe. It was him.”

“How?” Blythe’s brow furrowed. “I…God, this is going to devastate Michael. I need to tell him. He’ll know how to reach Keenan. We can clear this up.” She met Lily’s gaze. “Will you be all right?”

Lily nodded, and with a quick hug and goodbye, Blythe hurried out.

The silence dragged. Adam sat, his lips pressed together, his head tilted away. Every few seconds, he gave a quick shake of his head.

“Ask.”

“I can’t. Because if you tell me that you’ve forgiven the bastard, I might have to lock you up. Lily, what are you
thinking
?”

The phrase of the day, apparently.

A rush of affection for her predictable, protective, wonderful brother surprised her, and she offered a smile.

“Stop looking so bloody cheerful, damn it. This is serious.”

His gruffness just made her smile bigger.

“He isn’t worth it.”

“I know.”

“You deserve better.”

“I know.”

Adam pointed a finger at her. “You should have listened to me years ago.”

“Are you quite finished getting all your ‘I Was Rights’ out of the way?”

Adam shot her a scowl. “Just tell me
why
. Why him? Forget that he’s your husband. Why
him,
when he isn’t good enough to shine the floor you walk on?”

“Would anyone be good enough?” she challenged lightly. “Georgie escaped just in time.” A pang hit Lily at Georgie’s name. She missed her little sister so much.

Adam was waiting for her answer, so she replied, “There is kindness in him.”

He scoffed. “Where? His toes?”

“I can’t explain every small gesture I’ve witnessed, but they happened.” She’d believed there were depths she had never seen in him and that belief had been confirmed when he’d saved the little boy on the street. That had been a selfless act, a side she hadn’t seen before. Then there was his protectiveness of her, even when he had no strength or ability to fight for himself.

Though somehow, she didn’t think that particular point would endear him to Adam.

“Can you tell me why you love Aria?”

“She’s fire and light, and everything in between. She is my world, and I can’t imagine her not in it.”

“So it isn’t a list of traits you cling to?” Lily challenged. “But I have to rattle off Robert’s good qualities to convince you he’s worthy of
my
love?”

“It would be nice to know he
had
some good qualities, that’s all.”

“Oh, rubbish, Adam.” Irritation stiffened her spine. “I know he isn’t perfect, but neither are you and Aria loves you anyway.”

“I am perfection every waking hour.”

Lily snorted.

“I worry about you. I hate to see you miserable. It took courage to walk away from that.”

“And returning to him would make me weak? Is that what you mean?”

“There isn’t a woman in this family who could ever be accused of being weak. Unhappy, that’s a different story. I don’t want you unhappy.”

“You weren’t so enamored of Blythe’s husband, either. You believed the worst of him, and now look at the two of you.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Michael has proven himself. All I’ve seen Robert do is cause a rift in this family and hurt you enough to convince you to leave him. I don’t see evidence of anyone changed.”

“Robert has proven himself to me,” she replied empathically, even as her heart dipped. She believed in him. She did.

She
wanted
to believe. She desperately wanted to believe.

Robert had seen
her
, when no one else did. Her presence never lit up a room, it barely offered the glint of candlelight. But he’d made her feel special when she found herself so very ordinary.

She’d found that again. It felt the same as it had when he had stolen her breath away. Every second was joyous and agony at the same time. Because being in this house meant she was living on borrowed time.

She prayed that this time, when the bubble burst, it wouldn’t destroy their lives.