Willow Grove Abbey (43 page)

After
my bath, I changed into a pair of grey wool trousers and a blue jumper. The weather outside was dreary, with cold temperatures and mist. Of course the English heating, combined with war rationing, made for a chilly house, even though Nan and Perkins had fires roaring in all of the fireplaces. After I’d changed clothes, I went downstairs in search of Isabella, before I remembered that it was a Wednesday, and that my daughter was at school in the village. Thus, I changed direction, and headed for the kitchen for something to eat. I found Rose there, busily preparing a hearty stew for luncheon. She told me it would be about a half hour before she served. I grabbed a couple of biscuits and gobbled them down to stave off my hunger, and then wandered into the Great Hall where Mummy was sorting through the post delivery.

“Why, hallo
Sophia, I didn’t realize that you were home,” she said, as she glanced up and saw me in the dining hall entryway. “I’ve telephoned hospital several times. All reports are that your father is doing well. I thought I’d go to visit later today.”

“Do you think that’s wise,
Mummy?” I asked.

“Why ever not?”
Mummy retorted.

“
Mummy, your upset last night was really not the done thing, you know. Perhaps it would be better to wait until things have settled a bit.”

“
My dear girl, I had every right to be uncommonly upset. Nigel should have had a private duty nurse, and I don’t intend to argue that point again. Sometimes one simply has to become upset in order to make certain that things are done properly.”

“All right,
Mummy. I’m not going to argue,” I replied, knowing it was useless, and not wanting a repeat of the scene I’d endured only a few hours before.

“I should hope not,” Pa
mela replied. It might behoove you to learn to speak up a bit more yourself, you know.” I just nodded my head and changed the subject. Of course, I didn’t mention the recent scene with Edwina or my fall.

“Are you planning on bringing
Papa’s post to hospital later,” I asked.

“I a
m sorting it. He always receives a large envelope, forwarded from the London office, filled with correspondence addressed to him there, and I generally just toss it on his desk in the library. However, in this case, if something looks important, I’m pulling it out and making certain that it goes to him at hospital.”

“That’s a good idea.” I stood and watched over
my mother’s shoulder as she flipped through the various envelopes, sitting in a large pile. I didn’t know how she could tell what was and was not important, but I didn’t ask. It appeared that she was pulling out anything that looked as though it might be correspondence of a more personal nature, probably assuming that his secretary would handle anything more business-related.

As I continued to watch, an envelope reached the top of the pile, upon which the address was clearly written in
Papa’s own handwriting.
I looked at it closely, and immediately saw that it was addressed to Edwina, at a
Hotel
in
Madrid, Spain
. It was marked ‘
Hold for Arrival’,
and had been posted during the time preceding Edwina’s evacuation from France. My mind was racing, and I knew at once what had occurred. Papa had obviously written to Edwina, assuming that she would receive the letter upon arrival in Madrid. For whatever reason, it hadn’t reached her, and after a protracted period of time
,
the hotel
had sent it back across the Channel to the return address, which was Papa’s office in London. In turn, it had been forwarded to him at
‘
Willow Grove’
by his office staff, and now rested in Mummy’s hands! I felt as though I was watching my world collapse in slow-motion. I watched silently as Mummy turned the envelope over and over, examining it thoroughly. “Whatever in the world is this? This is Nigel’s own handwriting. Why would he have been writing to Edwina in Madrid? Why would he be writing to Edwina at all?”

“Well, you know he helped her escape fro
m Paris after France fell. I imagine it was written during that time,” I stammered.

M
ummy ripped the seal and I stood by utterly helpless, continuing to look over Mummy’s shoulder. She unfolded it:

‘
My Dearest,

As I write this, I know that you are en route fro
m Barcelona to Madrid, and needless to say I am worried horribly about your welfare, and of course Kippy’s. I know everything that can be done to ensure your safety has been done. You are in good hands, and I am certain that you will come through this well.

I so look forward to seeing your lovely face, and holding you in
my arms. If I knew precisely when you would be arriving, I would meet you. Once here, we have so much to discuss. The first order of business will be to find you a suitable address. The important thing is that you will be back on English soil. I know that your finances have to be depleted, which must be causing you consternation. Put your mind at rest on that score, for I shall transfer some of my assets to you as soon as you return. I am trying to curb my anxiousness to hold you in my arms, and to hug precious, little Kippy.

Be s
afe, darling.

Yours always,

Nigel

If I
had been through rages with Mummy before, absolutely nothing compared to that one. While it may seem odd, my first fleeting thought was one of relief. Relief that my father had not referenced me or the part I had played in his affair, no matter how limited my participation, nor how horrifically distasteful it had been. After a minuscule pause to think of myself, I turned attention with full force to my mother’s shock. Perhaps for the first time in my life, I didn’t find blame with Mummy’s reaction. She was experiencing unbearable pain. At first, her reaction
was
shock. Her face literally drained of all color, and I was concerned that she too might end up in hospital. I watched as the emotions worked their way across her features... shock... grief... pain... finally, anger. Heaps and heaps of anger.

“That horse’s arse. That bastard. I should have let his heart stop beating. I should not have called for help. I wish I’d let hi
m die. After all, I have done for him… All we have shared…That he would do this. Moreover, with Edwina! My God! What sort of a slut is she? She has been the recipient of my largesse. I brought her into this home as a guest. I treated her as a daughter. She is a slut. A whore. I will slap her until she is black and blue. I’ll slap the both of them.”

I
did not even try to interrupt. There would certainly have been no point. I simply stood immobile, looking at the ghastly letter, which I now held in my own hand. Mummy’s tirade continued.

“I would never have known. Never! How long has this been going on? When did it start? That da
mned, scoundrel. Almighty God saw to it that this letter came to me at a time when Nigel could not prevent my seeing it. God wanted this filthy, abominable relationship to stop. This is
divine intervention
. Do you understand that, Sophia?”

“Yes, yes,
Mummy, I understand that,” I murmured. I had to admit to myself how ironical it was that the revolting letter had arrived when it did, and in such a strange manner. The chances of such a thing occurring had to be extremely small. I thought of the word
‘serendipity’
, which had so permeated important events in my past.

“So
many things make sense now. All of that travel he was doing,” Mummy continued shrieking. “So much time spent in London. So many trips to Paris. My God! My God! What has she done to him that has caused him to forsake all of his Christian principals? Is that baby of hers your father’s son? Sophia, could that be true?”

“Oh, I don’t think so,
Mummy. He looks an awfully lot like Dieter.”

“That
may be, but he also looks identical to Edwina, too. So who knows? Your father has not slept with me in eons. He told me he wasn’t capable anymore!” she screamed. Then, she began to throw things. She ran around the hallway, and into the drawing room, picking up framed photos of Papa and throwing them. Next came gifts he had presented to her through the years. Art…Collectibles…Figurines…Silver. Nothing was too precious to escape her wrath. She had a collection of cobalt blue, Royal Copenhagen plates, sitting on a low plate rail encircling one wall of the morning room. She raced in there and began to systematically throw and smash each one. There were twenty-one in all, and each was in shattered slivers when she was through. Then, she ran back to the hallway, grabbed the letter opener, and began to gouge the furniture with it. “And what is this drivel about transferring assets to her? Has he been supporting her? Of course, he has. That damned little whore.” Her eyes were wild. A small, inlaid table flew across the room. Finally, the inevitable happened, and Edwina appeared on the stairway. She was dressed in a lovely ensemble, and was obviously on her way to hospital. When she heard the commotion, and saw the wreckage, she stopped, looking shocked and horrified. Before she had a chance to utter a sound, Mummy lunged toward her with the letter opener still in hand. It is truly astonishing that Edwina escaped unharmed, for she dodged Mummy, and flattened herself against the curve of the stair wall.

I
screamed, “Mummy, stop. You will kill her. Do you want to go to prison? For God’s sake, think!” Mummy threw the letter opener aside, and began to pummel Edwina with her fists. “God Damn you! God Damn you! You will be fortunate if I do not kill you, you little whore. You slut... you... you trollop.” I knew Mummy was well versed in curse words, and I wondered what new surprises she had in store. I did not have to wait long.

“What hav
e you been doing Edwina?
Blowing him off
? I was completely aghast, but Edwina only looked angry, not even frightened. In fact, she looked arrogant.

“It’s none of your business what Nigel and I do,” she said, as coolly and cal
mly as I could ever have imagined anyone reacting in such a situation. “I am sure you would be aghast at our methods of making love. Nigel has told me that you are an amazingly frigid woman.”

M
ummy slapped Edwina across the face. “I’m not a whore, if that’s what he prefers”, she shrieked. “Moreover, what do you mean it is none of my business? He is my husband, you idiotic piece of filth. If it isn’t my business, whose is it?”

“He doesn’t love you, Pa
mela. He loves me. I’m sorry you’ve learned the truth this way, but I really do think it’s time you faced reality.”

How cou
ld this be happening?

“Reality!”
Mummy shrieked. “Reality!” I will tell you about reality. Reality is that you are about to take that brat of yours and get the Hell out of my home. Reality is that you will never see my husband again. Never! If I ever find that you have so much as spoken to him, I shall file an ‘Alienation of Affection’ lawsuit against you. I shall smear your name from here to Kingdom come. You will never be welcomed into any decent home again. In addition, you will never work again. Your child will be labelled a bastard. I will ruin you, Edwina. I will make it my life’s mission to destroy you. There won’t be a soul in Bury St. Edmunds who doesn’t know what you are.” Mummy was panting, and holding her hand to her chest.

Edwina actually s
miled! “Pamela, you’d better calm down, or you’re going to have a heart seizure yourself,” she sneered. “I’m not at all certain that I’m ready to give up my friendship with Nigel. He’ll have to be the one to make any decision of that sort.”

“He’ll not be
making
this
decision, Edwina. Apparently, his decision-making capabilities are quite flawed. Now, you heard what I said. If I must, I shall call the local authorities, and have them remove you from these premises. Get out of my home, you God awful, disgusting tramp”. Mummy moved again to attack Edwina physically, but I restrained her.

“Edwina, please
... please just leave,” I pleaded. “Surely you understand that you cannot stay here. Please. This is a nightmare. Don’t make it any worse”.

“All right.
I shall go. However, do not count on Nigel backing you up, Pamela. As I said before, he loves me. He will choose me in the end. Just you wait.” She turned on her heel and headed up the stairway, presumably to pack her bags and ready Kippy for a journey. Mummy and I stood at the bottom of the stairway. Mummy’s immediate rage seemed spent, but I knew it was only a temporary lull.

“
Mummy, you must have a lie down. You must. I am going back to hospital to see Papa. I shall make certain that he is in a physical condition to absorb this news. I must talk with him. I also need to give orders to the nurses that they should not allow Edwina to see him. I suspect that’s the first place she’ll go.”

“If she shows up at that hospital, I’ll see that she is arrested,”
Mummy threatened.

I
was not certain that such a thing was feasible, but did not say so.

“Will you let
me take you to your room, give you a sedative, and then let me try to handle this by seeing and talking to Papa?” I begged.

“Yes. All right. However, I do not want you gone long.
Moreover, I want Edwina away from here, before you leave. I’m not staying in this house with that slut.”

“Yes,
Mummy. I’ll make certain that Edwina is gone, and when she leaves I’ll come and tell you,” I promised, as I gently guided my mother up the staircase and down the hallway to her rooms. She was sobbing by then, and was unsteady on her feet. No matter what heartache she had caused others in her life, there was no way I would have wished such pain upon her. I settled her in bed, and rang for Nan to bring some tea. When Nan arrived, I received yet another shock. Mummy was lying on the bed, and I intercepted our housekeeper in the doorway.

“Nan, we’ve had a beastly shock.
It is bad enough that Papa is in hospital, but now Mummy has just learned that he has been carrying on some sort of secret romance with Edwina. Mummy is prostrate with shock and grief, as you can see. I must see to Edwina’s immediate departure, and then go to hospital to see and speak with Papa. I do not want to leave Mummy unattended. Please watch over her until I can get these other things taken care of,” I instructed.

Nan’s hand flew to her
mouth. “Oh, Miss Sophia, I knew she would find out. The Countess is no fool, Miss Sophia, no fool at all.”

“What are you talking about, Nan? How did you know she would find out? What do you know?” I asked.

“Oh, Miss Sophia, I shouldn’t say. It’s not my place,” she replied, looking at the floor, and twisting the top button on her uniform.

“It
most certainly is your place, Nan. You have been a member of this family since I was born. If you know something about this, I need to know. Now please, tell me what you’re referring to.”

“Well, way back
. . . Clear to Miss Isabella’s first birthday, when Miss Edwina were ‘ere with that German, I saw something”

“You saw so
mething? What did you see?”

“It was after
the German left, and Miss Edwina was our guest. I was up at me usual ‘our. Very early, Miss Sophia. The sun was just but up. I went to the rose garden, to gather me blooms, for yer table, like always. It was a fine day. I stayed a tad, enjoying the sunshine, yer understand?”

“Yes, of course, Nan. So what happened?”

Well, I heard a noise . . . Voices coming from the summer’ouse. Couldn’t think who’d be in the summer’ouse at that ‘our. I walked a bit closer, and saw ‘is Grace and Miss Edwina. They was in… well…In a man-woman way.”

“What do you
mean, Nan? Were they kissing? Having sex? Just say it, Nan.”

“Yes,
Mum. They was ‘umpin.”

“Oh, Nan, what a dreadful thing for you to have seen. Did they see you?”

“Oh no, Mum. They was much occupied with their business. I just turned, and run fast as these old legs could carry me, back to the ‘ouse. Never said a word to no one. Lord Somerville been mighty good to me o’er the years.” Nan had tears in her eyes, and it was clear that she had conflicting feelings about the whole matter. Of course, I understood completely why she had kept silent. I was not in the least angry with Nan, but my level of ire toward Edwina and Papa rose substantially. To think that they would engage in sexual relations in the summerhouse at
Willow Grove Abbey,
while my mother slept on the premises, and when anyone might have come upon them! It was utter and complete folly, and I was ashamed of my father, who had reduced himself to the actions of a total fool, not to mention Edwina, whose behavior was truly deplorable. I patted Nan on the arm, and told her that I was sorry she had witnessed such a scene. I also assured her that I would not tell Mummy, as I knew that Nan feared reprisals, because
she
had not told anyone. Nan promised she would see to Mummy. I left the bedchamber, and literally stormed down the hallway to the wing where Edwina’s rooms were located. I did not knock when I came to her door, and instead threw it open with force. Edwina was packing a trunk, carefully folding each item, as if in no great rush. She turned when the door opened wide.

“Oh,
Sophia. I
am
glad you have come. We do need to have a chat before I depart.”

“A chat, Edwina? I responded, astounded at her poise.”

“Yes, dear heart, a chat. I am truly sorry that you became a part of this. However, I shall never regret having fallen in love with Nigel. I have told you that before. The saddest part of this is that if the man involved in this were anyone but your father, you’d be happy that I’d found someone so wonderful to love.”

“You’re co
mpletely daft, Edwina. Why would I be happy? Even if he weren’t my father, why should I want you to be involved with any married man? How could you possibly believe that?”

“Oh,
Sophia. Do not become righteous and moral. It is so tedious, and not the least becoming, you know. This is 1941. These things happen. You’re sophisticated enough to know that.”

“
My God, Edwina, have you no conscious? We lived together for four years. We literally grew up together. I thought we believed the same things. Had the same values. What’s happened to you?”

“I
might ask you the same question, you know. What’s become of you? Has this newly adopted Catholic religion of yours made you into a Saint?”