Authors: Brenda Cooper
Still, I didn’t feel Kayleen anywhere.
I felt something or someone, weaker than us, originating from Oshai.
Friend?
Yes. Someone boosting Caro’s call.
I accepted it; we needed it. Caro’s data voice reached further without weakening.
And then two more joined us. More strength. I had not been a fire, but an ember, and Caro the spark. Now we had a fire.
Marcus must have felt it. He slammed into my data signature, demanding attention.
What are you doing?
Feel it? Feel the help?
Our enemies will find us.
They knew we were here anyway. Help us. Help us or leave.
A brief moment of surprise. For a breath, I thought he was going to shut us down. He withdrew.
And then Caro was gone ahead, surfing a wave, sending her mother before the rest of us. I dove after her, and the collective of what must be most of the Wind Readers on Lopali pushed us, like a wind.
Marcus surged back, helping. Security structures turned to air around us, data blending from the war machines of the two fleets and the peace machine of Lopali. He opened a hole in the world for us to go through.
When Marcus committed, he committed.
Bless him.
As we neared Kayleen’s unique data signature, my heart fell. There was no babbling, no movement to find and take or even release bits of data. She hung like still water, wide and diffuse and full of holes where data blew through her.
I reached toward her, nudging her gently.
No response.
I tried harder.
No response.
The most wind-burned students on Lopali simply never came back; the universities fed their bodies for a year and a day and then disconnected them, and they died, every one.
Call her, Caro. Call harder even though she’s here.
Mommy! Came back to us.
A voice as pure as the heart of a young being in need, like a baby’s first cry. Lusty and single-focused.
Mommy! Mommy, come to me!
Nothing.
Mommy!
Her stubborn nature amazed me.
I’m not leaving without you! Come back now.
If she could have stamped her feet here, she would. I almost laughed, except that it was so bittersweet.
We’d gone where the others who’d blown us here could be felt, but only barely. Kayleen could be felt, but only barely.
I joined my voice to Caro’s, chose to follow her lead.
Kayleen! Come back now. If you leave your daughter to know she got this close and you wouldn’t come, I will never forgive you!
Me either,
Caro called.
I need you. Come back now.
And she did. At first it was slow, just a coming together of the bits of her that had been recognizable, but scattered.
Keep coming
, I sent.
Breathe. Feel your body breathe.
Oh my God.
She wrapped Caro up inside of her.
Oh baby. How did you get here? Come back with me now. It’s dangerous way out here!
Fear made her energy draw into itself. If she became too afraid, we might lose her again.
She’s okay. Get yourself back.
And then Kayleen began to feel the others, still helping.
Oh! What happened? Why so many? I was gone; I thought I’d gone forever, floating. You wouldn’t let me float.
Never. We will protect each other always.
I included Caro.
All of us.
Caro echoed me.
All of us. Even them
.
Marcus:
Hurry. Reach for us.
We did, going back up the path we’d come down, only faster and surer. The people who helped us knew this data, Lopali’s data. They gathered us in, helping, encouraging.
I tracked them. Six pilots. A Keeper named Jill who knew Caro—and who had been the first voice. She’d gathered the others. Sweet Jill. Three other Keepers. Someone from Silver’s Home who’d come here as a seeker. An ex-patriot from Islas, like Dianne, named Kyle.
Caro and Kayleen stayed close, with me herding them both, and still trying to do the double and triple duty of watching. And then they began to separate as they came into more and more contact
with their own physical bodies. Kayleen was in the cave in the hill, and Caro in Oshai. Caro couldn’t have much experience finding herself, and we’d gone deep.
Jill: watch Caro. Take her. The rest of you, too. Thank you, all of you. Thank you.
Words and feelings came back.
I’ve got her.
You’re welcome.
Call us again if you need to.
We’ll listen.
We’re our own affinity. Everywhere. Always.
And then a curtain built between us, Marcus creating more security, urging us into our bodies, where we were going anyway. Sasha’s wet tongue scraped across my cheek and I pulled her down beside me, feeling her warmth and weight. I opened my eyes and looked at Kayleen’s face, just inches from my own. Her breath had returned to normal speed and her eyes fluttered open. They did match the coverlet. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice thin and reedy.
I let out a long, slow breath to control my elation, to give Kayleen the calm support she needed. Still, my heart leapt with the joy of her return to us. “Without Caro, I would never have found you.”
She gave a quick nod. “I’m afraid for her.”
“We were more afraid for you. I’m sorry. It was my fault.”
She pushed back the covers and I helped her sit up. She took my face in her two hands. “It’s not your fault. Nothing is your fault. The world made us and it needs us, but you did not make the world.”
I laughed, gently. “I can tell you were lost in Lopali data.”
She dropped her hands, taking one of mine in one of hers. “There’s beauty here. It didn’t happen because of the people who created these poor fliers, or because of the world they made, but because the human heart and soul itself is so magnificent. Lopali has become the soul of the Five Worlds, and most of the people on the other worlds don’t even know it.”
If it was the soul of the Five Worlds, it included kidnapping and coercion. She wasn’t even really babbling. She felt different. When I looked into her eyes, they were calm pools, unrecognizable as belonging to the Kayleen I knew.
“Do you promise to stay with us?” I asked her. “You won’t go plunging back into the bliss of data for a while?”
Her smile was beatific. “Yes.”
As gorgeous as she was in that moment, she was not the Kayleen I knew and loved, at least not exactly. Maybe this state was residue. Please. I wanted my Kayleen.
Marcus came in the door, moving fast. “We have to go. Every Wind Reader on Lopali knows where you are now. Not all of them are helpful.” He leaned down a bit and looked at Kayleen. “Can you move?”
“If you’ll take me to Caro.”
Kayleen, telling Marcus what to do. Even he looked taken aback. “The sooner we leave, the sooner you’ll see her.”
One of his non-answers. But Kayleen had done the same thing. “Kayleen—can you travel?” I asked. “Are you strong enough?”
She smiled and stood up, reaching for the ceiling and then bending down and placing her hands flat on the floor beside her long feet. She stood back up, slowly, and smiled at me. “Let’s go.”
When she started for the door, she tripped, and I barely caught her before she fell. I slid my arm around her for support and whispered to her. “Are you truly all back?”
She turned her newly serene eyes on me. “Maybe not. Maybe I’ll never be all the way back.”
Marcus clapped his hands above her head hard, startling her so she nearly fell again, clutching my waist with both of her arms. The look he gave her was calm, but merciless. “You’d better be fully in the present. The next few days will demand even more than that. They’ll demand twice what you’ve ever given.”
She blinked up at him, then closed her eyes and shook her head. She pushed away from me and, this time, when she looked back, it was the Kayleen I knew, the more hesitant Kayleen, that gazed at me.
I wondered which one was stronger.
I offered my arm. She took it, and we made it to the door, where Stark waited, a worried look on his face. Even though he didn’t say anything, I felt like I was being chastised. Instead of the wings I expected we’d need, he held three packs. I raised an eyebrow at Marcus, who said, “There is another way out.”
Stark led us through the door into the war room. Marcus stopped a moment, contemplating the wall of fleets. They seemed far removed from us, as if we watched some entertainment video. But Marcus’s eyes narrowed as he watched.
“What is it?” I asked him.
“Three ships from Silver’s Home, all representing the Wingmakers, have declared neutrality. They claim we’re trying to drag their property into a war.”
“So our own side is still fighting us, and we’re still the cause. What’s new about that?”
Stark rewarded me with a nod of agreement. Kayleen asked, “What about the sim? Is it still alive?”
Marcus nodded, but then cautioned. “We still don’t know if it’s a good take. We may need to do more.” He hadn’t taken his eyes off the screen. He swallowed, and then turned to Stark. “I’ll let you know where to get us from. Wish us luck.”
“Of course.”
Marcus walked up to a wall, and a door opened in it, just like that. I was sure it had been invisible before. Of course, everything in this cave had been made, and so I shouldn’t have been so surprised.
Dim lights illuminated a long thin corridor behind the door. Marcus led us in, holding the door open to include Sasha before it swung shut behind us. I looked; there didn’t seem to be any mechanism for opening the door from this side.
The tunnel angled down a few degrees, the floor a rough surface that our feet scraped on as we went. The air smelled stale, although every once in a while, fans blew fresher air in via round ducts in the ceiling. Sasha whined softly, and sniffed at the air and the floor.
Kayleen still wasn’t walking as fast as usual, but she didn’t need either of us for support. We kept her between us, Marcus in front and me behind, Sasha patrolling front to back.
From time to time the corridor branched. Marcus had been here before, since he seemed to know instinctively whether to turn left or right at any given intersection. We saw no one else in the underground hallways, and given how loud our footsteps were I’m pretty sure we would have heard anyone there.
“What is this place?” Kayleen whispered.
Marcus gave a soft, ironic laugh. “It’s left over from when the Wingmakers made Lopali.”
He was old, but not quite that old. “How did you know about it?”
“My father’s father was a Wingmaker.”
Oh. Wow. I hadn’t know anything about his history. “What was your dad?”
“Short-lived. He left the Wingmakers because he didn’t like the choices they were making. He’s the one who taught me not to be part of any affinity group, but to just be myself. Free agents are both stronger and weaker than groups, but if you violate your own principles as a free agent, you can only blame yourself.”
We turned again, right this time, and the downslope became steeper. Sasha’s nails scraped on the surface as she struggled not to slide. Kayleen spoke up instead of whispering, like we had been. “But you need family. Family matters. I’d be . . . I’d be gone somewhere if it weren’t for Caro and Joseph . . . and you.”
I agreed. “How is a family different from an affinity group?”
“Sometimes it isn’t. Some affinity groups are run by a family, or only admit family members. There’s one in banking that manages to get cuts of half the credit flow on Silver’s Home, and another family group in tourism that’s been known for booking the best vacations for three hundred years. Mostly, they’re built around an idea or a business. Say you’re interested in making space ships? Well, there’s at least seven or eight premier affinity groups that do that, and two or three of those have been doing it since we colonized Silver’s Home. Others are trying to get a name in the business. You’d research them all and then choose.”
“But you don’t have to join an affinity group, right?” Kayleen asked.
“No. But you have to have something to sell if you don’t. I sell my ability to fly and my ability to create.”
“So Joseph never needs to join a group?”
Marcus laughed. “Not if he doesn’t want to.” And then he added, “But, technically, I’m pretty sure you are all still members of the Family of Exploration. You’ll show on their rolls until you reject your rights.”
“Huh?” Kayleen asked.
It would take too long to go there now, and I was too tired. “I’ll fill you in later.”
The slope changed again, and we were walking almost straight now, with just a little downhill. It seemed like a good time to ask about something I didn’t understand. “But all those people in the war room, and the person that lends you the ship storage space on the Silver Eyes, and other people like that, aren’t you all an affinity group?”
“We’re not registered as one and we don’t get taxed as one, and some of us are in others. We’re just aligned.”
Oh. I got it. “Like the Wind Readers that just helped us. They said they were something—in affinity?—but of course they work for other groups.”
“Nicely deduced,” he said.
Even though we were going downhill, Kayleen’s breathing sounded louder. “Can we have a short break?”
“Not until we get off this planet.”
“What I want to know,” Kayleen wheezed out between steps, “is about your dad. It sounds like he died.”
“He went crazy.”
Oh. No wonder part of Marcus’s life had been dedicated to keeping students from being wind-burned. “So it’s not a coincidence you’re here?”
“It’s mostly one,” he said. Then he stopped and turned to Kayleen. The light was dim enough I couldn’t read Marcus’s expression as closely as I wanted to, but his voice sounded grave. “But this is one important thing that needs to be done, and I was available to do it. And we needed Joseph, and maybe you, to do it.”
“Is the sim okay?” she asked.
“Too early to tell. But she was when we left.”
I felt relieved, especially since we were apparently leaving more than the cave behind. After we found the others. Surely we weren’t going to walk all the way to Oshai. And surely we would find them.