Wings of Deception (30 page)

He watched as she moved
among
the people hugging, laughing and
looking blissfully happy. Looking around he thought,
Christians aren’t supposed to be this happy, are they?
He could not remember the ones he knew growing up being anything other than severely cold and harsh. His thoughts went back to his early childhood years and the torment he suffered at the hands of so called Christians.
It was the
p
oint
in
his
life where he learned hate and bigotry
,
not
love and happiness.

“What
are
you thinking about
?
Y
ou look far too serious sitting over here alone. Not enjoying the party?” Honey sat down in the seat next to him. Her appearance startled him back to the present and he tilted his head looking at her. “I suppose I am. I have mostly just been observing, thinking about how you all seem to be having so much fun and there is no alcohol here. How do you do it?”

Honey knew exactly how he felt
,
for she had felt it too. “I know, huh? It is so incredible to have these people as my friends. At first I watched, fairly certain that it was just a first impression thing, but I have seen
these same people go through horrible things and sad things, yet there is always a smile on their faces and a light in their eyes. It really is amazing.”

“You have that too
,
you know.”

“What?”

“The smile and the light
in your eyes
, so explain it to me.”

Honey responded with a nod in the direction of a couple who were helping the children play a game. “See Jessie and Colby over there?” When she saw that he had
,
she continued, “Two years ago Colby was burned really
bad
when the volunteer unit he worked with was putting out a fire and there was a terrible explosion. It killed half a dozen people and Colby was in intensive care at the burn center for weeks. There were major complications
and well you can see the damage. He will never be what you would call
‘
normal
’
again.” Jacks had noticed that one whole side of the man’s face was still scarred very badly. He frowned at Honey.

“I do not understand, how is that explaining the cheerfulness, looks like that would make him angry not happy!”

“Oh no Jacks, his wife and their two small children are so grateful just to have him here with them. They are ecstatic and believe me Colby is pretty happy not to have left his wife a widow and his children fatherless. Look at them. They laugh because they could be crying
.”

“What about the light in their eyes?”

“T
hey have the light in their eyes because the Holy Spirit dwells within their hearts.
It cannot help but shine through the eyes.
”

“This Holy Spirit is the same thing as your God, I suppose. It always comes back to Him. You are educated
.
I would think that you would know that all that junk is only a crutch for people, same as any drug. I do
not
get it, but I guess
to each his own
.” The wryness in his voice was discouraging to Honey and she refrained from pushing. God was the only one who could make him see and
she
remember
ed
the last
meeting at church when
Dwight
had reminded them that they were only to plant a seed. God had promised that someone else would water it and He Himself would give the increase.

She asked him questions about his cabin and then the conversation turned to their work. He astounded her with the progress he was making with the ACAA behind him on child abuse laws. She admired his diligence and dedication
,
wondering how someone with such a passion for helping little kids could not believe in God.
She wanted to bring up New York but just as she thought it a good time to do so someone called her from the kitchen and she had to leave him.

The younger adults left shortly after dark
with children
who were
tired out from all the playing. The tone of the evening changed for the ones left and with all the help she had, Honey found that there was nothing left to do except enjoy the rest of her party. Eight couples remained and they decided to play
C
harades with a lot of hooting and laughing going on
,
so that Jacks could not help but have fun.
No one made him feel like he was an oddball and he was cutting up so bad that everyone thought him hilarious.

When they tired of Charades
,
the game turned to Truth or Dare. Jacks laughed and said jokingly, “What
is
next, Spin the Bottle?” He never cared for the game of Truth or Dare but good naturedly he agreed. “Okay, but you
will not
get any truths out of me tonight
,
so do your best on the dares!”

It was fun and it was quirky with no one being too serious
,
so when it came time for Sheila to question Jacks
it was a surprise when she asked, “Jacks, I want to know, what
the biggest secret you have ever kept is
?
Truth or dare?”

“Depends on what your dare is I suppose. Well, what is it?”

“I dare you to, uh…” She was trying to think of something when an idea popped into her head. “I dare you to walk around the house ten times!”

Jacks laughed, “Is that all, I thought for sure you would make it really hard on me. I will take the dare
because
like I said,
you
are
not getting any secrets out of me!
I could use the fresh air anyway.” He hopped up and Sheila said, “Wait! I am not
through;
you have to take someone with you…
ha-ha
.”

Jacks gave her a ‘look’ but reached down and pulled Honey up from her seat
amidst
a round of clapping and
woohoos
.

“Come on
, piece of cake, let’s do it!”

Once outside he commented, “That was genius on her part, don’t you think?”

Honey laughed. “It was kind of obvious. You could have answered her question instead.”

“What,
give away my secrets and
miss this? I think not.” He stopped and did exactly what he had wanted to do since the first day he met her. His kiss came as a surprise to Honey and when she would have protested, he kissed her again to still her voice of sanity and she lost herself in the touch of his lips on hers, his heart beat
ing
against her own, feeling as if she might faint
,
the emotion was so intense.

He let go of her
.
“I…I…that should not have happened.
You can slap me if you want.
Hey, you okay?
”

Honey’s face was flushed from the kisses and from embarrassment, for the last thing she wanted was an apology.

“I am fine. Please,” She gave a shaky laugh. “It was just a kiss for Pete’s sake. Come on, we have all these laps to do.”

When they came back in
to the house
,
Sheila knew something had
happened and she smiled.

She was officially seeing Pastor
Dwight
now and everyone was considering them an item
,
so she was basking in
the delight of her own romance. She appreciated
Dwight
more because of her horrid marriage to Morgan and
in
her heart
she
knew God had brought them together. She wanted Jacks to feel the same kind of love she felt from both God and
Dwight
. S
he would keep praying for him to become a believer and to find the love she knew he had never had in his life.

Soon after Honey and Jacks returned
,
the party came to an end and Sheila whispered in Honey’s ear as she hugged her goodnight. “I want you to tell me everything girl!
Tomorrow.”

When they were
alone Jacks asked, “What was she whispering to you? She was looking at me when she did it.”

“
You know Sheila, she pulled that little stunt so we would be alone together because she thinks
that
we…she thinks we have these feelings...”

“Do we?” His look was intense as he stood looking into her eyes trying to find the answer in them.

Honey turned away from his gaze and started for the kitchen. He blocked her. “You are afraid to answer me, why? Do we have these feelings Honey?”

She looked down
,
puzzled
for hadn’t he said the kisses were a mistake?

“I
am
not sure. I don’t know…yes…” How could she lie? “Yes, alright, I have feelings for you but…”

He stopped her with another kiss. This time he let all of his
own
feelings show in the way he lingered with tasting her lips a
s
she responded
, but when the wetness of tears caused him to taste salt he opened his eyes and asked, “Then why are you crying, it is not a bad thing to have these feelings for one another is it?”

He had pulled back only inches from her face so that he could see her lashes wet as the tears had not stopped. He
in turn
was confused.

“I cannot deny my feelings Jacks, but I cannot indulge them either. I have made a commitment to God and there is no
future in
my love for you. It will not stop me from loving you
,
for once you truly love as God intended, that love continues forever but it is a fruitless love
,
for without the mutual love of our Father it cannot bear fruit.” She twisted away from him and he followed her on into the kitchen
,
not believing what he was hearing.

“Wait a minute, you
are saying you have these feelings for me, that you feel love for me, but your God w
ill not
allow it? What for, and if He is all about love Himself…do you even see how ridiculous that sounds?”

“It is not! Please let’s
not argue
Jacks. I have your room all ready for you and I know you have to be at the airport early.”

“Early be damned! Honey, do you
not
see what we could have here? We are so alike, you and
I
. We have the same goals
, same
dreams and we have this, this thing between us that I know could make us happy. It makes no sense that a God of love would deny His follower’s some of that love! Okay, at least come in here and you can explain it to me.
We won’t argue
,
we will just talk it out.
”

He took her hand and led her into the den and onto the sofa.
He sat leaning forwards with his legs apart and his elbows resting on them as his hands propped his face. Honey had leaned back on the end of the sofa and she held a cushion to her while praying for the right words and the strength to say them. She would have preferred to curl up next to him and profess her love
to
him but she could not and she was not so sure she could explain
why
.

He changed positions
,
so that he was looking directly at her but far enough away he wouldn’t be tempted to touch her as he would like.

“I have never used the words ‘I love you
’ to anyone. When I was a child
,
there was never
much
love shown to me
,
so I never knew how to recognize it. As an adult
,
I have had certain feelings for women but for some reason I could never use the word love with any of them. I don’t know, maybe that is why I never had a meaningful relationship with one. I thought if the sex was good and I gave her whatever she wanted it was good enough. My last relationship lasted longer than most. Carla was a great partner
though
now I realize that she must have known I could never make a commitment to her or love her the way she needed to be loved. But with you
,
it was different from the beginning. I think you felt it too
,
didn’t you?”

Honey could only nod
,
for she was afraid of what she might say if she started talking. Was this
not
what she had hoped for? To hear Jacks
put into words what had been happening between them? She listened to what was to her the most beautiful words a woman could hear from someone she loved.