Wings of Nestor (3 page)

“I am—”

“Please,” Kiora said, holding up her hand. “Please don’t apologize. I did this. I made the choice.”

“No.” Eleana’s voice was so gentle it demanded attention. “You ended this. And although we are both hurting for loss of family, you have saved many others who will not need to grieve at their hands.” Eleana stood straighter, placing her composure back over her like a new dress. “Is Emane all right?”

“Yes. He’s fine now.” Kiora rubbed at her burning eyes. “Eleana, would a Tavean work? For the spell.”

Eleana looked mildly surprised. “Well, yes. A Tavean would be ideal, but…”

“I’ll be right back.” Kiora sighed and headed down to camp.

Stepping back through the boundary, Kiora wearily scanned the men. “Alcander, can you come with me?”

Alcander looked surprised, but stood at her request. Kiora couldn’t tell if Emane was confused or hurt. Or maybe neither. She couldn’t feel his emotions anymore.

I’m sorry, Emane,
she called.
It’s something you can’t help with. I will explain later.

Alcander followed her silently back to where Eleana stood, waiting. As they stepped through the boundary, Eleana started in surprise and then leaned forward as if she had seen a ghost. “Adair?”

Alcander looked uncomfortable. “No, I’m sorry. That was my grandfather.”

“The resemblance is remarkable.”

“I have been told that.”

“Alcander, this is Eleana,” Kiora said.

“I have heard much about you.” Alcander gave a shallow bow.

“Prince Alcander, has Kiora told you what we are requesting?”

Alcander looked at Kiora, who was intently studying her feet. “No, she has told me nothing.”

“Kiora has told you her theory of how the Shadow is finding you?”

“She has.”

“I believe she is right. I think the Shadow is scrying for images of Jasmine. It explains the problems Lomay had with the Wings, as well as how you have been found three times in such a short period.”

“But that would mean . . .” Alcander trailed off.

“Yes. It is scrying through every dream or vision there is.”

Alcander went pale. “The amount of magic that would take would be—”

“Very large, yes.” Eleana nodded. “Alcander, I need to ask you a question. When the gates were sealed to Meros, one of the Lights had been taken by the Shadow. How many does it have now?”

Alcander raised an eyebrow. “Epona does not know?”

“Unfortunately, we don’t know anything that happened after the gate shut. The magic we used to lock ourselves away also kept the Wings from receiving visions of anything outside Meros.”

“The Shadow has them all.”

Eleana’s eyes closed for a moment. “That would easily supply enough magic to do what we are suggesting.”

Alcander inclined his chin. “What do you need from me?”

“I need you to join minds with Kiora.” Eleana looked apologetic.

Alcander jolted and looked to Kiora. “Is this what you want?” Turning back to Eleana, he demanded, “Have you told her what that entails?”

Eleana evaluated Alcander. “I was more worried about your acceptance than hers.”

Alcander scowled. Stepping toward Kiora, he set his hand gently on her arm. The magic flowed between them. Kiora looked into his eyes. “Kiora,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. Her stomach leaped. “I know you’re confused, but you need to understand. If you do this—if
we
do this—it will make the bond even stronger than it was. You will understand me in a way no one else does.” He swallowed, his voice rough. “And I you.”

Kiora bit her lip, trying to tear her gaze from Alcander’s searching eyes. “I don’t think we have a choice.”

Alcander’s fingers tightened around her arm before relaxing. “There is always a choice,” he said. “We can find another to stand in my place. We can find Lomay.”

“But when?” She put her hand over his. “What if I fall asleep? What if next time, we don’t get away from the Shadow?”

He looked intently at her. “I will do this for you. I am willing. And you know why. But I need you to understand the implications of this. The bond we have—” Kiora looked shyly away. “It will only grow stronger. You will not be able to hide it.”

Kiora gulped. From Emane. That was what Alcander had meant, but not said. “I understand.”

The turmoil raging inside Kiora swelled into an all-encompassing storm. The magic coming from Alcander was different as he touched her this time, softer. It was blissful, and she was carried away in it. She could feel her magic flowing to him in return. Emane would be crushed, but this had to be done.

And underneath the logic of the choice, a desire flickered. She wanted to understand Alcander, to see behind all his walls. He must have seen the desire in her eyes as she looked at him because his gaze grew tender and the magic flowed even stronger.

“Very well.” Alcander pulled away. She immediately ached at the absence.

Alcander turned back to Eleana, whose eyes were politely averted. But Kiora could tell by the surprised look on her face that she had heard the conversation.

“What do we need to do?” Alcander asked.

“Kiora, summon the Creators’ Book. You will need to say the incantation. I believe your magic has become strong enough to support the spell.”

Kiora summoned the book. She had already used it to sever her connection with Emane—now she was creating a new one with Alcander. Her hands trembled as she thumbed through the pages, each second dragging on. Finally landing on the correct spell, she turned toward Alcander. He gave her a weak smile. She recited the words and felt her magic drain.

As soon as the final word of the incantation flowed off her tongue, Kiora felt a pulling unlike any vision she’d ever had. Pictures and faces danced through her brain that she had never seen. A beautiful Tavean woman and a man who looked very much like Alcander. Little Tavean girls dancing and playing, their laughter splitting the air like the peal of bells. Kiora felt such joy watching them. Suddenly she understood what she was seeing: Alcander’s mind. His memories, his joys.

Standing at the top of a soaring tower, she looked out over a land that was lush, surrounded by rolling hills that were as green as the valley floor. Next to him was his father, telling him that the kingdom would someday be his and that he would control the staff and all the power it brought. She felt Alcander’s pride and sense of responsibility swell.

Then, much to her horror, she witnessed firsthand the night Alcander had described to her already: The death of his entire family as viewed by a little boy shoved underneath his bed. His mother locked eyes with him as the attackers brutalized her, and she mouthed the words “
I love you
” before she died.

She saw Lomay taking him away, and she felt his grief. She saw villages burn, camps fall. Felt his desire, his longing for a way to save his people. His guilt for not being able to. His guilt for having lived. She had been right, what she had said before—he cared too much. While it made her burst into tears, she understood with utter clarity the hard shell he wrapped around him like a blanket.

***

ALCANDER THOUGHT HE UNDERSTOOD, in a way, what Kiora felt. But as he tapped into her mind, he was completely unprepared for the intensity of feelings that came with her memories. They were crippling. He watched her as a child, lying in the road, pleading for her parents to stay. Her anguish as her sister dragged her out of the way for the wagon to pass. He felt her pain watching crimes of evil in the Wings of Arian. That those things would cause her so much pain was foreign to him. The things she saw were part of his everyday existence, things that barely made him flinch. And yet the horror and the pain he felt through her were unlike anything he had ever felt, even on that one horrific night.

His heart threatened to split in two. And as memories and emotions continued to flow, he understood. All the pain was because of her innocence. That childhood he had envied made her what she was. Even as her innocence was fading, the pain and her acute awareness of evil were not.

And then he saw the one thing he was dreading: Emane. The relationship had started with dislike, but blossomed into love. He saw the touches, the kisses, the courtship unfolding. He felt her fear of love, despite reciprocating it. And then, most unexpectedly, he felt
her
feeling Emane’s love for her. Pain ripped through him. Not Kiora’s this time, but his own.

***

EMANE PACED BACK AND forth in the camp. “Why would she need him and not me?”

Drustan grunted, his head on the ground, eyes closed, tail snaking very close to the fire. “Emane, go to sleep. I beg of you.”

“Would you like to tell me what is going on?” Emane demanded.

One yellow eye flicked open. “What are you talking about?”

“Ever since you rescued me, Kiora has been acting strangely.” Emane’s fingers itched to grab a sword, or a dagger, or something.

Drustan rolled his head in Emane’s direction. “To be fair,” he said dryly, “since we rescued you, we have been chased, and almost killed, by the most deadly thing in the land. Twice. There has not been much time for chitchat.”

“I know that!” Emane snapped. “But she has barely looked at me, talked to me, or touched me. Something’s different.”

Alcander stumbled into the barrier, clutching Kiora in his arms. His head was down, his white hair obscuring his face.

Emane ran to him. “What did you do to her?”

Alcander just grunted, taking a few more steps before falling to his knees.

“Alcander! Here, give her to me.” Emane knelt down to take Kiora out of his arms.

“No!” Alcander growled, pulling Kiora tighter.

Emane jerked back his hand before being seized with anger. “What is wrong with her?”

Kiora’s head lolled back. Her eyes were closed, her face relaxed and peaceful.

Alcander’s face was deathly white, beads of sweat dotted his nose, and his pupils were constricted. “I said no.” His voice was tight and thin. “She is dumping a lot of magic—she will hurt you.”

Drustan lumbered to his feet. “It looks like she is hurting you. Set her down.”

Alcander forced himself back up. He stumbled over to Kiora’s sleeping pad. Nearly falling again, he deposited her as gently as he could before pulling a blanket over her. “It’s all right,” Alcander breathed. “We fixed it. The Shadow can’t find us.” He wobbled before collapsing next to her.

CHAPTER FOUR

Confessions

KIORA WOKE THE NEXT morning to the sun shining on her face. She blinked. The sun was high—it had to be past lunchtime. Alcander lay next to her, fast asleep. She realized it was the first time she had ever seen him sleeping. He looked so peaceful.

Having seen his mind, she ached to give him peace all the time, to take away the things that weighed so heavily upon his soul. She itched to reach out and run her finger along his jawline. The sound of feet scuffling across the rock caught her attention and she propped on her elbow. Drustan was sitting near the fire in human form, roasting something on a stick that smelled delicious. Emane, on the other hand, was moving back and forth across the rock, running drills with a sword he didn’t have. Bad sign. He did drills when he was upset.

“Emane?” she asked. “Are you all right?”

“He’s been doing this on and off all morning,” Drustan said, stretching with a groan. “I am exhausted just watching him.” He looked over to Kiora, raising his eyebrows. “Would you care to tell us what happened last night?”

Emane finally stopped to look at her, pushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. “I’d love an explanation.”

Drustan took the meat out of the fire, carefully pulling a piece off and popping it in his mouth.

Kiora sat up and crossed her legs beneath her. “We joined minds.”

Drustan choked on his meat, sitting up straight and gasping for breath.

“What is that?” Emane demanded. “What does that mean?”

“Our minds are connected. I can see his thoughts and he can see mine. He is acting as a shield to keep the Shadow from finding me through my dreams.”

“Connected? You mean like us?” Emane asked. “Kiora, if that’s all you needed, why couldn’t I help?”

And there it was. The slippery slope that led nowhere but down. “Emane, we need to talk.”

The look on Emane’s face punched through her. It was wary, and sad. As if he already knew. Despite the look, he grabbed her hand. She put up the bubble so they could leave the enclosure. She kept her surging magic at bay—it leaped when he touched her because she loved him. She would always love him. But right now she didn’t know what that love meant because she was pretty sure she loved Alcander too.

Despite her efforts to hold it back, Kiora could tell some magic had gotten through as Emane gently disentangled his hand before shoving them both in his pockets. She led him up to the other enclosure she had built.

“Emane, our connection . . .” She trailed off as Emane stilled.

“It’s gone, isn’t it?” he asked. His sadness was apparent in the droop of his shoulders.

Kiora bit her lip. She had never seen him so close to tears. “It is.”

Emane smiled bitterly. “I thought maybe you had just been distant since the battle and that’s why I wasn’t feeling anything.”

Kiora plopped down on a rock. “I had to sever the connection before we came for you,” she explained. “It had grown so strong, I couldn’t fight Dralazar like that—he would have killed us both.”

Emane nodded, sitting next to her. “I was terrified when I realized you were feeling my pain. I just . . .” He raked his hands through his hair. “Was that the only way?”

“Yes.” She ran her fingers over the back of his hand. “I’ve missed you.”

“I was beginning to wonder if you were glad I was back.”

“Of course I am.” Kiora hesitated.

Emane sensed it immediately. “But . . .”

“But some things happened while you were gone that I need to tell you about.”

Emane heaved a giant sigh and looked over the landscape. “It’s Alcander, isn’t it?”

Kiora was quiet.

Emane finally looked back to her. “I noticed how many times he turned to see if my arm was still around you.”