Wings of Promise (16 page)

When he came upon an open area where two trees had fallen across each other, he stopped. The trees created a natural barrier and provided a place where he could take a breather and not be surprised from behind.

He built a fire, filled a tin percolator with water from the creek, and set it in the coals. He opened a can of baked beans and placed them alongside the coffeepot. With the sound of the creek tumbling past, he opened a wool sleeping bag and stretched out on it, leaning against one of the downed trees. He’d been so intent on tracking he’d forgotten to eat. Emptiness gnawed at his middle. He took moose jerky and bread out of his pack. Stripping off a bite of the jerky, he chewed, but remained alert, wondering how much further he’d have to travel to catch up to the grizzly. Of course, the bear could double back, attracted by the smell of food.

His eyes heavy, Paul rested against the downed tree. Mosquitoes buzzed his head and bit his arms through his wool shirt. He swatted at them, but they refused to yield. “Stinkin’ bugs.”

The coffee boiled over, and using his gloves, he lifted it out of the hot embers and filled a tin cup with the dark brew. He took a sip and then another bite of jerky. The beans would taste good. He scooted them out of the coals and let them cool for a few minutes, then ate them straight from the can.

After finishing off the beans, he downed a slice of bread and another cup of coffee. His hunger satiated, his eyelids drooped. He forced himself awake and added wood to the fire, then moved back to his spot against the tree. The upper branches of alder and birch stirred in the breeze. The limbs of a cottonwood creaked. Soon Paul dropped off to sleep, rifle in hand.

A branch popped and Paul startled awake. How long had he been asleep? It was still light so probably not more than a few minutes. Breathing noiselessly, he listened, certain there was something in the forest shadows. He raised his rifle.

Patrick emerged from the greenery, then dodged to one side with his hands raised in the air. “Hey, it’s just me. Put that thing down.” He grinned.

“Patrick.” Paul lowered the rifle. “What are you doing here?”

“I figured a man shouldn’t hunt an angry bear all by himself.” He sat across from Paul. “I was beginning to think I’d never catch you. Then I caught a whiff of coffee and knew I was close.”

“How’d you know about the bear?”

“Kate told me what happened.” He hunkered down next to the fire and leaned over the coffeepot, breathing in the aroma. “You mind if I have some of that coffee?”

“Help yourself. The last time I saw Kate she was headed for Susitna Station.”

“She came back. Said she needed to know you were all right. She’s waiting for you.”

“She is?”

“Yep.” Patrick dug out a cup from his pack. He filled it and stood to drink, gazing around. “That bear sure came a long ways.”

“Yeah. He did.” Paul’s mind was still on Kate. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her waiting for him at the cabin. He knew she still had feelings for him. She needed to stop caring so much. And so did he.

Patrick stood and pulled off his rucksack. “Sassa packed me some food. You hungry?”

“No. I’m good. Thanks.”

“You sure? There’s three sandwiches and some cookies.”

Paul laughed. “Guess I could make room for a cookie.”

All of a sudden an explosion of brown fur, teeth, and saliva barreled at Paul. His heart thrummed into his throat as he reached for his rifle.

Before he could fire, the air thundered. The bear dropped and the earth shuddered. The grizzly lay less than a yard from Paul.

Standing on weak legs, he stared at the animal. Quaking, he took a step back, never taking his eyes off the bear. His mind replayed his race from the shed to the house, terrified he’d be too late. What if he didn’t make it in time? What if the bear got Kate? He could still smell the terror he’d felt as he aimed the rifle, took a breath, and fought to hold his shaking body still. He couldn’t miss. Kate’s life depended on him getting it right, just as Susan’s had. This time he succeeded, but he’d failed Susan and their son. The question why resurfaced once more, just as it had a hundred times before.

“Good thing I had my gun in hand,” Patrick said with a chuckle. “He nearly got ya.”

Paul let his gaze move to Patrick. “If you hadn’t been here . . .”

Patrick moved to Paul and slapped him on the back. “Yeah, well, I was. Figure God had it all worked out.”

“Thanks for saving my life.”

“Anytime.” Patrick grinned.

Still shaken, Paul moved back to the fire and sat down. He looked up at his friend. “That’s the closest I’ve ever come to dying.”

“Nearly dying is good for a man—puts things into perspective.” Patrick studied the bear. “Looks like a young male, in good condition. It’s those youngsters you’ve got to watch out for.” He pulled a knife out of his belt. “Better get to skinning. There’s a lot of good meat here and you’ll have a fine rug.”

“It’s yours. You’re the one who shot him.”

“Nah. Don’t really like bear meat, and I’ve got a few rugs already, don’t need any more.” Patrick raised an eyebrow. “Figure we better get to it. There’s someone waiting for you at the cabin.”

“Oh yeah . . . Kate. She shouldn’t have done that.”

“She loves you, what did you expect her to do?”

“We’re not together anymore.”

“Love isn’t something you can just turn off and on whenever you like.”

“I know that, but it still doesn’t change things.” Paul pushed to his feet.

Patrick shook his head. “You’re wrong about this. Not allowing yourself to love Kate won’t bring your wife and child back.”

Paul knew. “I’m not taking a chance on losing anyone else.”

“You think living alone is better than loving and taking a risk?” His eyes bore into Paul’s. “You’re not dead inside, Paul. You were meant to share life with someone.”

Paul stared at the hulk of brown fur. Patrick was wrong. He was dead inside, as dead as that bear. He didn’t have anything to give, especially not to someone like Kate.

I
t was midmorning and Paul and Patrick still hadn’t shown up. Kate sat on the top step of his porch, elbows propped on her thighs. She rested her face in her hands and watched the trail.
They should be back by now
.

Jasper squawked at her from a nearby tree. She’d tried to persuade him to fly to his perch, but couldn’t convince him to trust her even when she offered him bits of bread. He’d kept his distance—like Paul had.

“Come on, Jasper. I won’t hurt you.” She whistled, but he held to his resolve. With a resigned sigh, she looked about and wondered what else she could do to pass the time. She’d finished most of the weeding, tidied up the house, and baked bread. She couldn’t think of anything else to do.

Believing that a wounded bear couldn’t travel far, she’d expected Paul back the previous evening. Buck limped from inside the house and plunked down beside her. She stroked his head. “How you doing, boy?”

He whined and leaned against her leg. He was worried too.

What if something terrible had happened? What if Paul and Patrick didn’t come back? What if . . . ? She shut off the thoughts. Worrying accomplished nothing. But no matter how sensible she tried to be, she still had to fight the impulse to search for them. It was a foolish idea. She’d be of no help and would probably get herself lost. If they didn’t show up by early evening, she’d call in a search team. She wondered if Sassa and Lily were worried. They hadn’t been by since the previous night.

Kate could feel Lily’s presence here. From what she’d said, it sounded like she had become part of Paul’s life. Was she? She didn’t seem like the kind of woman he’d be interested in. Jealousy ate at her.

Staring at Nita and Jackpot, Kate took in a sorrowful breath, and then slowly let it out. If only things were the way they used to be.

Nita and Jackpot both stood and stared down the trail. Nita whined. Buck pushed to his feet, his tail wagging. Anticipation buzzed through Kate. It must be them. She moved to the bottom step, her eyes on the trail.

A few moments later she spotted Paul. He pulled a litter with a brown pelt laid over a mound that Kate guessed must be bear meat. Patrick walked beside him. Relief swept over her like a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

“Paul,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Clearing her throat and putting on what she hoped was a casual smile, she said more loudly, “Hi. It’s about time you showed up.”

Paul gave her a nod. “Patrick told me you were here. Surprised you waited so long.”

Kate’s enthusiasm wilted. He didn’t want her here.

When he reached the shed, he set down the litter.

Patrick sat on a stump and swept off his hat. Using his shirtsleeve, he wiped sweat off his forehead. “Getting too old for this kind of thing.”

Kate walked to the litter, wondering what a bear fur felt like. “It’s good to have you back. I was beginning to worry.” She longed to embrace Paul, but he gave no inclination that he’d welcome such a greeting.

His arms at his sides, he turned and faced her. “We’re fine. But it’s a good thing Patrick came after me.” He glanced at his friend.

Patrick slapped his hat back on his head. “That bear gave us a time of it.” He grinned. “But we had the final word.”

Paul lifted the hide, and the rank smell of warm meat and blood assaulted Kate’s nose. Looking worn out, he hauled the hide off. “I’ve got my first bear rug to hang on the wall.”

Patrick stood. “I better get home. Sassa’ll have my hide if I lollygag. I’ll give you a hand with that tomorrow.”

“Thanks. See you.”

Patrick headed toward home, his long stride slower than usual.

“You hungry?” Kate asked.

“Starved.”

“I made some soup and bread.”

“Sounds good. But I’ve got to get this hide stretched, and then I’ll be in.” Paul disappeared inside the shed.

“Can I help?”

“Nah. It won’t take me long.”

Kate returned to her post on the porch step. He didn’t want to spend time with her. She knew she should head back to Anchorage. Yet she stayed.

When Paul finally appeared his eyes went to the dogs. “Better get this meat put away too.”

“I’ll give you a hand.” Kate moved toward the litter, the idea of handling the bloody flesh repulsive.

“I’ve got it.” Paul sounded weary.

“Okay. I’ll go in and check on the soup and get some fresh coffee percolating.”

It seemed like a long time before Paul opened the door. He held it opened just enough to peer inside. “Can you turn around? I had to wash up outside and left most of my clothes out here.”

Her cheeks burning, Kate turned her back to him. She heard the door close followed by the sound of him hurrying across the room. Buck had been lying beside Kate. He stood and hobbled into the bedroom.

A few minutes later, Paul emerged. Without even looking at Kate, he gave Buck a rubdown. “We don’t have to worry about that old bear anymore.”

He glanced up at Kate. “The soup smells good. Hope it’s ready. I’m starving.”

Heavyhearted, Kate set down on Lake Spenard. She was thankful Paul was safe, but the loving reunion she’d hoped for hadn’t materialized. They’d shared a meal and meager conversation. Paul told her about the hunt and Patrick’s quick reactions that saved him. Other than that, they didn’t seem to have much to talk about. Conversation was stilted and they parried around sensitive issues.

Kate needed a long chat over coffee with Muriel, but wondered if she’d mind her just dropping in. The baby was due any day, and the last time Kate had seen her she’d been exhausted and uncomfortable. She decided Muriel might enjoy the company.

As Kate headed for the shop, she noticed Alan had his engine hood up. He looked at her, but didn’t wave. He seemed like a nice enough man but only knew how to communicate with his plane, not people.

Kate smiled and waved. “How’s it going, Alan?”

“Fine,” he said and went back to work—a one-word answer as usual.

It pained Kate to watch him struggle with relationships. He said very little and kept to himself mostly. The only one who seemed able to break through his protective shield was Mike. But then, Mike had a way about him. Most everyone liked him.

When she stepped into the shop, Jack was the only one there. He sat at his desk, working on forms. He glanced up. “About time.”

“I got here as soon as I could.”

“Right.” He returned to his work.

Since taking over the business he’d become surlier than ever. He didn’t like being earthbound. His responsibilities meant he had time only for a few short runs.

“Everyone out . . . except for Alan?”

“Yeah. His plane’s giving him trouble.” He stopped and looked at her. “I could have used you today. Had a run to Kenai. You cost me good money.”

Kate clenched her teeth, holding back a retort. Fighting with Jack only made her life miserable. As calmly as she could manage, she said, “I waited to make sure Paul was all right. He didn’t make it back until today. If he’d needed—”

“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.” Jack shook his head. “Say what you want. We both know you’re still mooning over him. Don’t you get it? He’s not interested.”

Kate clamped down her fury. “He went out after a bad bear. Which, I might add, nearly killed me yesterday. I waited until I knew there was no need to fly him or his neighbor Patrick out.”

Jack’s brows furrowed. “What happened with you and the bear?”

“When I tried to deliver mail, it came at me. Paul shot him, but only wounded him. He had to go after him and finish him off.”

“How honorable.” He snickered.

Kate decided to ignore the comment. She walked to the chart on the wall and recorded her return time and date. “Do you have any runs coming up?”

“Nope. Lost the one and nothing since.”

“Guess I’ll head home. I’m available if anything comes in.”

“If Alan gets his plane running, he’s the next one up.”

“Sure. I understand.” The phone rang as Kate headed for the door.

Jack picked up. “Hello.” He listened, then dropped the receiver back in place. “That was Mrs. Towns. She said her daughter’s at the hospital.”

“The hospital? She’s having the baby?”

“That would be my guess.”

“I gotta go.” Kate headed out the door and hurried to her car. She slid in behind the wheel, revved the engine, and headed for Third Avenue. She’d promised Helen and Muriel she’d be there when the baby was born. She wanted to be there.

Splashing through puddles, Kate approached the four-story Railroad Hospital. She pulled into a parking area and stepped carefully through a muddy drive. Hurrying up a wooden walkway that cut a path through the middle of a flower-strewn lawn, she tried to quiet her worries. Things could go wrong when having a baby.

Kate took the front steps two at a time, swung open the front door, and walked into a small lobby. She stopped at the front desk to ask directions, and then headed for the waiting room.

Helen sat, appearing calm, her knitting needles clicking. She looked up. “Oh, Kate. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Albert and Terrence stopped pacing momentarily.

“Hi,” Albert said.

Terrence nodded and tried to smile. He resumed pacing.

“Is Muriel all right?” Kate asked.

“The doctor says she’s fine.” Helen rested her hand on the chair next to her. “Come. Sit. It’s going to be awhile.”

“How long do you think before the baby gets here?”

“Too long,” Albert said with a chuckle. “Babies always take too long.”

A smile lifted Helen’s lips. “Babies arrive exactly on time.” She settled calm blue eyes on Kate. “And don’t worry about Angel. Our neighbor offered to check on her.”

Kate nodded and sat down. She hadn’t even given Angel a thought.

Terrence pushed fingers through his light brown hair and adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses. “I wish we’d hear something.” He glanced at a door leading from the room. “Something.”

The tension in the room made Kate feel edgy. She folded her arms over her chest, sucked in a breath, and let it out slowly. She stretched her arms over her head and then rolled her shoulders back. Helen seemed completely relaxed. Kate wished she knew how to knit. Maybe it would help.

It was an interminable five hours before Muriel presented Terrence with a son.

When a nurse finally allowed family into Muriel’s room, Kate hung back while Terrence met his child. Helen and Albert went in next. He glanced at Kate. “You coming?”

“I’ll wait. This is for family.”

She leaned against the corridor wall, studying pallid green walls. So, Muriel was a mother. It was a wonderful thing. Really. So why did she feel so melancholy? She
was
happy for Muriel and Terrence, but thoughts about life without Paul—and the family they could have had together—made the contrast all the more painful. She wanted it to be her. What if it never was?

With effort, she tried to shake off the dark thoughts. Staying on that path would do her no good.

The door opened and Helen peeked into the hallway. Her face radiated joy. “He’s beautiful!” She motioned for Kate to join her. “Muriel wants to see you.”

Putting on what she thought was an appropriate smile, Kate walked into a room with several beds. Cotton curtains provided privacy for other new mothers. Propped up on pillows, Muriel rested in a bed near a window. Terrence hovered beside her, gazing down at his little boy. Muriel held a swaddled bundle in her arms.

She looked up at Kate. “I can hardly believe he’s here.”

Muriel’s blonde hair was plastered to her head and her face was splotchy red, but the joy in her eyes made her look beautiful. Hunger for a child of her own engulfed Kate.

“How are you?” she managed to ask without revealing her inner feelings.

“Tired. But I’ve never felt better or happier. The doctor says he’s perfect.” She looked down at the infant. “I’d like you to meet Gerald Kenneth Stevens.”

Kate stared at the baby. His eyes were closed and he had a pudgy fist pressed against his lips. “He’s so cute.” Happiness for Muriel flowed in like a tide, covering Kate’s emptiness.

“Would you like to hold him?”

“May I?” Kate allowed Muriel to lay Gerald in her arms. Gently she cuddled him, feeling slightly clumsy. She pressed her cheek against his and breathed in the fragrant scent of newness. Her heart constricted. Looking at Muriel, she said, “How amazing—you’re a mother.”

“I can hardly believe it.” Muriel looked up at Terrence and took his hand. “We’re a mom and dad now.”

“Was it terrible, the birth I mean?”

“At first, but then they gave me something and I barely remember his being born.”

“Can I hold my grandson?” Helen asked, moving in beside Kate.

Kate placed the baby in Helen’s arms.

Helen kissed his forehead. “Oh, you’re so handsome,” she said and moved to a chair, cradling Gerald against her.

Kate turned to Muriel. “He is perfect.”

With love lighting her face, Muriel gazed at her son.

All of a sudden, Kate knew that being a pilot wasn’t enough. She wanted more. She felt submerged by loneliness and longing. “I better go. I’ve got a flight.” She needed to get outdoors and away from the happy family scene before she exposed her heartache.