Wings of the Morning (24 page)

Connie just nodded as she turned away and he sat back to light himself a rare cigarette as he called for his bill. They were walking hand in hand for over fifteen minutes before Tepee took up
her story again. She suddenly looked up at the moon rising over the Straits, gave that familiar shake of her head, and launched straight in again.

‘Somehow, I got myself home. Not on the bus or in a taxi. I was too ashamed for that. I walked all the way. I only had my shorts and they wouldn’t do up properly. My blouse was in
tatters and my bra had disappeared. I found a filthy old tee shirt at the back of that room and I had to frighten off a big rat before I could get it.

Mama was standing in the hall. She took one look and must have guessed. I collapsed in her arms. The rest of that night and the next few days remain a blur for me. Mama helped me to bathe and
get into bed. Our doctor came round and examined me all over, left a load of pills and potions, promising to return the next day. I don’t remember his further visit, but I’m sure he was
good to his word.

It was ten days later when the next disaster hit our house. I had slept all through the night, which was a first, and I woke feeling a bit better. I looked at my watch and found that it was
nearly midday, which astonished me. Normally, I would always hear my mother rising at 6 am. But these are not normal times, I thought to myself as I lay in bed. Perhaps she’s gone out and
left me a note. I went downstairs to our small kitchen which was as neat as ever. There was no message. I climbed the stairs again and went across the landing into my mother’s bedroom. Mama
was there and still in bed. As soon as I looked at her, I knew she was dead.’

Tepee stopped abruptly in her tracks on the sand and turned to face Conrad who, as before, held her gaze and said nothing.

‘I don’t know if you can understand this, Connie, but it’s a funny thing about shock. You sort of get used to it. Here I was facing a much greater ordeal than even the rape. I
was alone and frightened and very, very sad. I adored my mother: we were so close and such good friends. I should have gone instantly out of my mind, but I was quite calm. I walked out of her room
and out of the house. I even locked the front door behind me. I went to the doctor’s surgery and asked the receptionist lady if I could see the doctor urgently. She knew what had happened to
me. It was only a minute or so before I was with the doctor and he came with me straight back to our house. I half hoped that we would find my mother out of bed and her normal self, but of course
that was not to be. The doctor examined her body for some time while I waited downstairs. Then he came to me and explained that she had a heart attack in the night. He believed she had died in her
sleep. He was distressed, but perhaps I had not known that he had been treating her heart condition for some years. He would start to make suitable arrangements, and I must come and stay with him
and his family for the time being.

But I couldn’t do that: not yet. I couldn’t leave my mother lying there on her own. The doctor was very understanding and came to spend that night on the sofa while I went to my bed
and slept with my door open so that I could look across to Mama’s room and hope this was a passing nightmare. Quite early the next morning, they sent a van to remove her to the funeral home.
Our neighbours either side came out to hold me and we all cried together as she left our house for the last time. I asked to be left alone in her room for an hour or so and then I would go to them.
But I didn’t do that. After a while, I changed into my best school uniform and left the house quietly. I still felt calm, just terribly detached as if I was watching my own life from
somewhere far away. I walked to the bus stop and started the familiar journey to school. I had no trouble in getting there and I went straight to see the Girls head teacher. She was a really nice
lady. She was popular with all the students and she had good advice to give you if you asked for it. So I asked. She was terrific. She hadn’t heard from my mother after the men attacked me,
just had the message that I was sick and at home. So this news about the rape and about my mother’s death came as two complete and terrible surprises. We talked together for ages and she
telephoned our doctor to tell him where I was. Then she called in my form mistress and my best friend, and we all talked some more and I cried a lot. Finally we left her office and the form
mistress travelled home with me. When we walked into our street, the first thing that I saw was a huge shiny car standing outside our house, and eventually it brought me here and away from my home
forever.’

They had started walking again, and this was the moment when Conrad at last felt able to break his silence.

‘Who was in the car, Tepee?’

‘The family here in Singapore: Colonel Roger Mantel, his son Sebastien and Seb’s wife Izzy, who has become my best friend. But Connie, let me explain all this. It won’t take
long.’

She tucked an arm into his and continued as they walked.

‘My father’s best friend in the Para’s was Roger Mantel. Years ago, they served together in French Colonial Africa, but when my father was transferred to Indo China, Colonel
Mantel remained in Cote d’Ivoire. They kept in touch of course, but weren’t able to see much of each other. My parents met and married in this region, so although my mother knew all
about the Colonel, she had never actually met him.

‘After I was raped, I believe Mama was more traumatised than me. She had the support of our doctor, but she was a proud woman and she wanted help from her own. She would have shrunk from
talking to our neighbours. She must have longed for my father, but without him, she turned to his best friend and set out to contact Colonel Mantel. He has told me since that Mama used her precious
savings to go to the post office and make endless expensive calls to the necessary authorities in France, especially the Regimental Headquarters. She was told he had taken early retirement but she
refused to give up. She got back on the phone to the Retired Officers Association and tracked down a number for the Colonel: at last, some luck for her. He was living here in Singapore with his son
and daughter-in-law.’

Conrad put his arm around Tepee’s waist and hugged her to him as they walked.

‘Right,’ he said, ‘I can work it out from here. She called him, he came running to help, only to find the tragedy of her death just before he got here.’

‘That’s it exactly. He got in his big car and drove straight here.’

‘It would’ve been quicker to fly.’

‘Of course. But I guess he wanted a woman with him to win her trust and mine. That meant bringing Izzy and Seb wouldn’t be left behind. So they drove, with enough space to take us
home with them. In the event, it was just me.’

‘So you’ve been living here with the Mantels for what ... five years?’

‘A bit more, actually. It’s seems like yesterday and a lifetime rolled into one. They’re my new and true family and I owe them everything.’

‘Have you ever been back?’

‘Not yet,’ she shook her head, ‘but I want to. There are people I want to see again: the doctor, school people, my friends, our neighbours.

Most of all, I want to go back and talk to my Mama. We held her funeral and everyone came. The place was packed out and overflowing. The burial was private: just the four of us as they laid my
Mama in her grave. I couldn’t cry. I just stood there with Izzy by my side and Sebastien looming and brooding alongside us. And a little way off, Colonel Mantel, the tough old soldier at
attention again, ram rod straight and the tears pouring down his face — weeping for his friend and for the lives which might have been.

Tepee stopped at this point. She stopped both physically and verbally. Conrad just put his arms around her and held her whilst she sobbed silently into his chest. After two or three minutes
locked together, she broke off, blew her nose and smiled at him as she took his hand again while they turned to retrace their steps along the beach. She spoke again.

‘Leave me here for this evening, Connie, and thank you for being such a good listener. I’m quite safe to walk home from here. I do so often when I have the chance for a little time
to myself. But I’ll be here tomorrow evening at five. I‘ll have the children with me, and I hope you’ll come home and meet everyone. But you don’t have to be here —
not if you can’t or if you don’t want to be,’ her voice trailed away. and Conrad was swift to reply.

‘I’ll certainly be here, looking forward to meeting the Colonel, Seb and Izzy too: and of course the children. What are they called?’

‘They’re twin boys, Connie. They’re called Peter and Oscar. They’re four years old, and they’re mine.’

The silence stretched between them. Finally, Tepee said to him,

‘If you can’t handle that, Connie, I’ll understand.’

‘I’ll see you here tomorrow at five. Don’t be late.’

He leaned forward to kiss her gently on the lips, then turned away with a wave of his hand. When he reached the corner, he looked back. Tepee was moving off, and she was skipping.

The following evening was a success. They met as planned and went on all together, Tepee on her bike with the boys fidgeting and laughing in the trailer cart behind whilst Conrad ambled beside
them. The Mantel house was a picture, an old colonial style building nestling between modern blocks. There was a wide veranda and from the look of the ground floor, Conrad guessed four or five
bedrooms above. A large garden at the rear would have been overlooked but it was replete with trees and shrubs. There was a welcoming feel to the whole place.

Colonel (retired) Roger Mantel was exactly as he expected. A tall, slim military figure, almost Gaullist in profile. He was correct and formal to meet, with a hard handshake. He spoke excellent,
fluent English with a Peter Sellers accent. Conrad didn’t miss the twinkle in his gimlet eye. His son Sebastien was a giant, at least 6 feet 5 and wide to match with hair en brosse, sleeves
above the huge biceps, a permanent six o’clock shadow split by a disarming grin. He insisted that he was delighted to meet an English soldier. Entente cordiale and all. Conrad was clear that
humour and teasing was basic instinct to this family.

This was demonstrated by Seb’s wife, Elizabeth, but only ever known as Izzy. You would really wonder, Conrad thought as he shook hands with her, how the two got it together. Izzy was over
a foot shorter than her husband, short blonde hair, a tremendous bosom and running a little to plump. She brushed aside his hand and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, taking the opportunity to
whisper in his ear so that the Colonel could not hear.

‘It does work, and pretty well too. But I have to be on top!’

Conrad blushed at being caught out, but Seb laughed with gusto and casually patted his wife’s bottom with a giant paw. Tepee and Izzy went to put the boys to bed while the three men sat on
the veranda over a pre-dinner drink. The Colonel asked about Conrad’s career and lifted a discreet eyebrow as he detected the responding reluctance to go into detail.

‘You need say no more. I understand enough, and I must say that I’m impressed.’

There was a growl of assent from Seb. He had followed his father into the army and the Paras but only for a short commission.

‘You’d have been much too big for jumping,’ Conrad remarked casually and thought he might have stepped out of line as his two hosts caught each other’s eye. But no, they
were again impressed.

‘D’you know you’re the first guy I’ve met who can appreciate that. Thank you,’ said Seb and he leaned forward to clink lager bottles. The telephone rang for Seb and
Conrad moved to change tack, asking about the Colonel’s business.

‘I’m still working,’ he replied, ‘I was widowed while soldiering in Africa. Sebastien has two older sisters living in France with five offspring between them. When I left
the army, I came out here to start a new business and Seb joined me as soon as he could. We provide security arrangements for commercial organisations. We do both analysis and operational.
It’s been developing well and I predict that they’ll be a large increase in demand over the next ten years or so. By then, I shall be completely retired leaving the business to
Sebastien when I go back to France to spoil my grandchildren and drink a decent glass of Bordeaux.’

Soon after, they had dinner and spoke of other things for the rest of the evening. They talked in English to accommodate Conrad and also Izzy, who turned out to be New Zealand born. She had met
Seb when he had holidayed there as a back packer.

Conrad left from the dinner table when the excellent meal was completed. He didn’t want to overstay his first welcome. But over the following three weeks, he returned often to the Mantel
residence and was conscious of being easily accepted there. For himself, he enjoyed the atmosphere and he loved the company. Most of all, he came to realise how much he loved Tepee, how much she
was laughing, how readily she came to anticipate him, and how much he was coming to yearn for her physically. That was reciprocated and their farewells at the end of an evening when the others
departed tactfully inside became progressively more intense. One evening, they managed some conversation amongst the kissing and fumbling and Tepee guessed his thoughts.

‘Darling Connie,’ she said pushing him away and looking him the eye, ‘you’re wondering how I could choose to bear the children of men who raped me, and you don’t
know how to ask me the question. Am I right?’

He sighed deeply before saying, ‘Yes, of course you’re damn well right. But it’s not for me to ask.’

She shook her head. ‘No. It‘s right to ask. It’s necessary. I just hope you’ll understand.

After the rape, Mama and I didn’t talk at all about what happened. I wasn’t capable of conversation and she was an old fashioned lady. But she did talk to the doctor and he told her
to take me to hospital to be properly examined. She didn’t do that. I expect she was waiting. Waiting for me to get over the shock and for her to feel stronger. For the same reasons,
probably, she didn’t talk to the school or our neighbours. But of course, she didn’t know what was coming.