Winning Back His Doctor Bride (13 page)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

L
EO
 
WAS
 
ALREADY
 
out and intubated.

Sitting in the observation room where Adam Walker was preparing to operate, Mila leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she gazed at the scene. “The surgeon said he'll have to wear casts for four months and then braces for probably the next two years.”

Adam had told him the same thing when he'd asked. The sad thing was that if Leo had been treated right after birth, while his bones had still been soft and pliable, the doctors might have been able to manipulate his feet into the correct position and held them there using the Ponseti method of casting and bracing. His Achilles tendons might have needed to be lengthened through a quick surgery, and the tendon which was attached to his second toe might have had to be transferred to his third to prevent the foot from re-rotating into the club position, but it was nothing like what the boy was now facing.

As it was, the muscles in his calves would have to be lengthened, as would his tendons to help rotate his feet into the correct position. And Leo would have to learn to walk all over again on his newly corrected feet.

He moved his glance from what was happening in the operating room and put it on Mila, who now had her chin propped in her hands, her muscles tense as she stared at the scene below.

Before he could stop himself, his hand went to her back, his thumb sweeping in gentle circles. He would give anything to take her worry on himself. But he couldn't do that any more than he could ask Adam to operate on him instead of Leo.

And he still hadn't talked to Mila, like he'd promised himself he would. But he needed to, and soon, if he wanted to have a future with her.

He did. Those thoughts had come slowly, but they'd been building with every hour that had passed. They'd spent almost every waking moment together over the last two days, he and Mila and Leo. And for the first time he'd wondered if he actually could have a family. If he could actually be the stand-up guy he hadn't been six years ago.

That would depend on how Mila reacted to what he told her. But first they had to get through this surgery.

Mila drew in a deep breath and blew it back out, then sat up, holding her hand out, palm up, to him. He reached across and gripped it, his other arm wrapping around her shoulders and drawing her against him.

“It's going to be all right.” He forced the words from his mouth, more to reassure her than because he really believed them. Oh, he believed that Leo was going to be okay. That he would have a long and happy future. But he and Mila?

Of that he wasn't so sure.

They sat there like that for what seemed like hours, listening as Adam crisply enunciated each step of the surgery into the overhead microphone.

It seemed to take hours. It did, in fact. And yet there was no place James would rather be than sitting here next to Mila.

Finally, the surgeon stood upright and stretched his back. “That's it, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to close and then we can wake him up.”

Just as he took the threaded needle from one of the surgical nurses and leaned over the boy, an alarm went off. Then another.

“Pressure's dropping.” The anesthesiologist's voice cut through the celebratory mood like a guillotine.

“What the hell's happening, Ron?” Adam asked the other doctor.

“I have no idea. He was stable a second ago. Give me a minute.”

James's muscles went on high alert just as Mila stood and rushed over to the window, pressing her hands against it.

Adam, probably catching the sudden movement, glanced up at them, his jaw tight as he spoke into the microphone that linked the operating room with the observation area. “Get her out of there, James.”

There was no way in hell he was going to tell Mila to leave. But if things got really bad, he would carry her out bodily if he had to.

By now the team was on high alert, Leo's feet forgotten as they fought to stabilize his condition.

Damn it!

“What's happening?” He knew Mila didn't expect an answer to her question any more than Adam had expected one from Ron Palmer, head of anesthesia at The Hollywood Hills Clinic.

Sedation was a tricky balance of drugs. Every person was different and the tiniest variation in the way the medication interacted with a patient could have devastating consequences.

Instrument tables were shoved aside and a crash cart wheeled in, just in case.

Hell, he hoped it didn't come to that.

“Let's get him stable, people.” The strain in Adam's voice came through loud and clear.

Everyone was already working to do just that, but the alarms continued, unrelenting.

“He's tachy at one-thirty.”

Leo's heart was beating too fast. They wouldn't know if it was a reaction to the anesthesia or something else until after they got things back under control.

“V-tach!”

Mila's whole body was now pressed against the glass. “Oh, God!”

If they couldn't get Leo's heart back into normal rhythm, it could spiral down into ventricular fibrillation, the leading cause of cardiac arrest and death.

His eyes burned and his gut was sending up alarm bells of its own. But when he tried to draw Mila away from the window, she shook him off.

“Don't touch me.”

Just as suddenly, she spun toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I'm sorry. So sorry. He trusted me. I told him it would be okay.”

Mila had trusted James once upon a time, only to have him betray that trust so he didn't try to placate her or reassure her. He just held her and joined his fear to hers and hoped it was enough to ward off whatever was happening in that room.

The alarms switched off just as suddenly as they'd sounded, and everyone seemed to hold their collective breath.

Mila turned back toward the room below, one hand over her mouth.

“And we're back in sinus.” The anesthesiologist's voice, full of relief, verified that things were turning around. “It's holding. Pressure's back up to ninety over sixty. Let's get this done.”

James tightened his grip on her, kissing the top of her head in relief. If Leo got through this, James was going to spill everything. Tell Mila the truth and ask for a second chance.

Adam worked quickly to suture up the surgical sites and finish his work while Ron kept his eyes glued to the monitors. Ten minutes later the surgeon peeled off his gloves. “Thank God. Let's wake him up.”

Mila and James waited with everyone else as Ron eased the sedation. Within a few minutes Leo's eyelids flickered and then opened. The anesthesiologist put his hand on the boy's forehead and said something to him. Leo nodded.

“Thank God.” Mila breathed the same words the surgeon had, her whole body sagging as she fell back into one of the plush chairs. “What just happened?”

“I don't know. I'm sure Adam will want to keep an eye on him until the anesthesia has worn off completely.”

“I'm going down there.” She stood as if she was going to do exactly what she'd said.

“No, Mila. You're not. Not until Adam says you can.” They both knew the protocol, and James was not about to break it and risk Leo's life if something happened.

“But—”

He slid an arm around her waist, ignoring all the jabs his conscience was now giving him. “We'll both go. But not until Adam gives us the green light. What we can do is wait for him to come out and talk to us.”

So they went down to the waiting area, Mila perched at the very edge of a chair, while James paced in front of her.

After what seemed like hours Adam pushed through the door. “Before either of you says anything, he's stable. He's awake and talking, but I want to give him a half hour before we add more people to the mix.”

Meaning he didn't want them in there right now.

“You're sure he's okay?”

“Yes. I'll have the nurse come out as soon as we're ready for you. I want to run a few tests, but I think what you saw in there was a reaction to the anesthesia. It's rare, but it happens.”

“We almost lost him.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Mila's head jerked around to look at him, as did Adam's, except the orthopedist, known for his calm demeanor and unflappable nature, barely lifted an eyebrow at his outburst.

“It didn't come to that. My team was on it at the first hint of trouble.”

James realized his friend could have taken his words as a criticism. “Your team is top-notch. I appreciate all you've done.”

“So do I. Thank you.” Mila held out her hand.

Adam gave it a quick squeeze. “Everything we did in there was a success. Leo will need bracing for a while, but he has a great shot at having normal function in both feet. We may need to tweak the tendons and muscles a bit as he grows, but those will be minor procedures under local anesthesia. Nothing like today.”

“Thank you, again.”

Adam nodded. “Let me get back to him.”

* * *

We almost lost him.
James's words echoed through Mila's skull.

They could have. And when she thought of all the lost years she and James could have had, she felt sick.

Suddenly she had to know.

She turned to him. “You said on the boat you had something to tell me.”

“Yes.”

“Is it something about the past? Or something about the present?”

His throat moved. “Both.”

“Okay. I want to do this now. Before we go back to see him.”

He hesitated. “I don't think this is the right time.”

“It's the perfect time.” She needed to know. Know whether they were going to be moving forward as a couple or if their lovemaking had been nothing more than passing a few hours. When she faced Leo, she wanted to know the score. Was she doing this on her own? Or did James want to move back into her life? And if she could get past all of their differences, she wanted reassurance that he was there to stay. Which meant she had to understand the past. “Let's start with ancient history. What went wrong six years ago? I want the truth.”

The waiting room was empty, but James still pulled her toward the back corner and waited until she sat down. He remained standing, hands pressed deep into his pockets.

“The truth. Okay, my calling things off that day had nothing to do with you. Or my feelings at the time.”

She'd avoided the “why” question for years, allowing both her anger and what had happened with her aunt to cloud her thinking. But if it had had nothing to do with how he'd felt about her...

All sorts of alternate scenarios began running through her head. Some of them outrageous. Some of them horrifying.

“So it wasn't because you didn't love me.”

“No.”

Had he been unfaithful? All those tabloid stories flashed through her head.

She clasped her hands in her lap, suddenly as afraid as she'd been during Leo's surgery. “Okay, then. Tell me why.”

James's eyes closed for a second before reopening. “A former girlfriend told me she was pregnant.”

The words meant nothing to her for a second or two, then realization dawned. Pain knifed through her abdomen, quickly turning to churning nausea. “You got someone pregnant while we were engaged?”

He knelt down and grabbed her hands. “No. Cindy and I were over a week before you and I danced that first time. Then things happened so fast, our relationship...everything.” He shook his head. “A few weeks before our wedding day she came to me and said she was expecting.”

He paused. “I didn't know what to do, knew that a media firestorm would break out as soon as word got out. I waited and waited, hoping some kind of solution would come to me, but there was nothing. So I decided the only thing I could do was break off our engagement, to protect you as best I could from what was about to happen. I'm sorry, Mila. Truly sorry.”

The words swirled and danced, looming and receding before her eyes until they were mere pinpoints.

Then something ugly rose as one phrase rang through her ears. “You wanted to protect me? Protect? Me?”

Okay, so she was repeating herself. But it was because the same words were now slamming against her insides like huge lapping waves that threatened to drown her.

Only this time the words were from another source. From her aunt when a sobbing seventeen-year-old Mila had waved a yellowed newspaper in front of her face, the headlines an accusation.

I was just trying to protect you.

What her aunt had done, though, had been to rob her of a chance to see her mom one last time...to say goodbye.

James had robbed her too.

Mila swallowed the bitterness that coated her throat. More than once. Even so, her next words came out as a whisper. “You should have told me the truth.”

She wasn't sure if she was talking to James or her aunt's ghost.

“I wasn't thinking straight at the time, and I truly believed she was pregnant. I felt I had...a responsibility toward her, and I didn't want you to have to suffer for it.”

I was just trying to protect you.

He didn't say the words this time, but they kept echoing all around her.

“And what about your responsibility toward me? I didn't need protecting. I needed the truth.
Deserved
the truth. Instead, you let me think I wasn't...” She brushed his hands away and stood up. Her skin crawled at the similarities between what her aunt had done and what he had.

“I did what I thought was right at the time.”

I just wanted to protect you.

She shook off the words.

“What happened to the baby?” She turned away, not wanting to see his eyes when he told her.

“There was no baby. It was all a lie.”

God.