Winning Love (8 page)

The next obstacle was a wood wall. Easy enough to get over, since it was like climbing a ladder. Afterward, they awkwardly made their way across a thin rope bridge over a shallow gully, then crept across a rather rickety-looking balance beam. As they approached an arched monkey-bar contraption, Mac noted the large mud pit underneath. Shit was about to get interesting.

“You first,” he said. “I’ll start when you’re a few bars ahead of me.”

With his upper body strength, he’d be able to swing across this thing without any issues. But he’d didn’t want to just zip past Gayle.

“All right.”

She slowly—very slowly—swung from one bar to the next.
Come on, woman.
As she hung from the fifth and sixth bar, he paced along the edge of the pit. She wasn’t going to make it.

Monkey bars were hard enough when they were straight across. Put in an arch, and more muscle, strength, and endurance were needed to complete the task. Gayle was using all hers up just dangling as she worked up the momentum to make it to the next bar.

Mac rubbed his mouth, struggling not to start clapping and yelling at her to pick up the pace. Gayle wasn’t one of his training buddies. He wasn’t at the gym. But the competitive edge ate at him now. Drove him.

When she finally made it to the middle, he wrapped his hands around the first and second bars and quickly monkeyed across. Within seconds, he was beside her. By the way her eyes widened and she gasped, his sudden appearance had startled her. One second she was there, the next she was gone. Right in the sludge below. Fuck, that was his fault.

He glanced down. The sludge came above her knees, and as she struggled to walk, she slipped, landing on all fours. Immediately, Mac let go of the bar. Warm, slimy mud enveloped the bottom part of his leg.

As he mucked his way toward her, worried she was going to be pissed he’d messed up her focus, he said, “Damn it, Gayle, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you lose your concentration.”

A snicker greeted his words. She lifted her head, and the twinkle in her eyes made something in his chest expand. Holy hell. She didn’t give a rat’s ass that he’d fucked up her progress. Someone jarring
his
focus would’ve set him off.

But Gayle was enjoying every single second of this. No frustration. No fierce competition. Just pure joy. He really could learn a thing or two from her.

As he came to stand beside her, he put his hands on his hips. “And here I jumped in ready to save the damsel in distress. But you look happier than a pig in mud.”

She tried to push up and slipped, the mud coming up to coat her neck. A laugh burst from her as she held up her hand. “As much as I love to get down and dirty, this damsel could still use your help.”

Grinning, he latched his hand around her mud-coated one and yanked her up. After they pretty much had to crawl out of the pit onto flat land, they stood up. Mac surveyed the man-made mud hill in front of them—which had become slicker by the many other racers who had gone over it before them. And the ones slipping over it now.

“This should prove interesting,” he said.

“I can tell you from experience, there is no use trying to run up the hill. Slow and steady, handsome.” She winked, then started to bear-crawl up the hill by digging her fingers and the toes of her shoes into the mud. When she got far enough that he had room to begin, he followed the path she’d made. Concentrating on the indentions she’d left in the mud, he reached for one of the deep imprints made by her foot. One second his fingers had slipped into the slimy surface, the next, a squealing mass slammed into him and he was sliding down the hill on his back. As he drew to a halt at the bottom, the mass landed across his chest, knocking an
oomph
out of him.

Her muddied pigtail slapped him across the cheek. Breathless laughter warmed his neck as she tried to control the giggles that had overtaken her. One feminine mud-coated hand rested on the naked skin of his chest—a place that hadn’t been touched by a woman in many years. The grime didn’t hinder the way this accidental touch scorched his flesh, consumed him. Unable not to, he cupped her elbow in his palm, just needing to return the connection.

She lifted her head and gazed down at him, hazel eyes so full of life, happiness in her grin, a streak of mud across her cheek. Everything in him stilled for a brief moment then roared back with a vengeance. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted to kiss a woman more.

Ally
. Her lifeless face swam before his eyes.

A rough breath stuttered out of him as he struggled to shut down the painful memory that threatened to explode before his eyes, and he released Gayle’s elbow.

“Told you it was fun,” she whispered, her smile fading just a bit as she sat up and faced away from him.

Mac blinked at the back of her head. She’d seen his struggle, and that made him feel even worse. None of this was her fault. Gayle was beautiful, fun, and charismatic. If he’d been whole, he wouldn’t have hesitated with her. But he wasn’t, he was broken…ruined.

Needing to get this out of Mac-is-damaged-goods territory and back into funland, he shoved to his feet and held his hand out to her. “Let’s try this again. But this time without you being the bowling ball and me the pins.”

Laughing, she slipped her hand into his, and he tugged her up. “I make no promises, handsome.”

Seeing she was game for letting the awkwardness pass, he exhaled in relief, and they started their second attempt. After the fourth wipeout—all of which were caused by Gayle—the earlier moment was a forgotten memory as Mac heaved to his feet and beat his palm across the fingertips of his other hand, making the universal sign for timeout. “That’s it! Timeout!”

At his outburst, Gayle’s eyes rounded and she blew air into her cheek, making them puff out. The sight immediately alleviated his frustration, and he chuckled. He wasn’t frustrated at Gayle, just the damn hill. Thankfully, they weren’t the only ones having issues. Though each time someone finally made it to the top he cursed them to hell.

“I am going up this thing and I’m taking you with me.”

He’d wanted to do this two wipeouts ago, but she didn’t seem bothered by the slip-and-slide routine so he’d kept his mouth shut. If he took one more trip down this hill, though, he would lose his shit. Locking one hand around her wrist, he started the tedious climb up, dragging her behind him. Every time she lost her footing, he threw his weight forward and tugged her arm to keep the momentum from taking him down. The climb was slow, but finally he made it to within a foot of the top. He braced his body and pulled her up beside him.

“You first,” he said.

As she crawled over the lip to flat land, he kept his hand out to shove her over the crest if she slipped. Once she reached the top, he climbed up beside her, and they stood. She immediately lost her footing. Instinctively he snatched her around the waist and yanked her to his body to keep her from making the longest trip yet down that hill. The second the warmth of her hands met his biceps, it registered he was holding Gayle.

Covered in mud, laughing. In his arms.

Life beckoned him
.

He pressed his mouth to hers.

Immediately she stilled, her lips softening under his. He liked the way they fit together, liked the tightening of his body. Wanted to embrace it. Deepen it. Just as he was about to cup the back of her head and do just that, a passing runner gave a wolf whistle and Gayle pulled away, studying him…intently.

The reality of what he’d done slammed into him.
Holy shit
. He’d kissed Gayle. Without thought. Though it hadn’t been the best first kiss—brief, unexpected—he felt the gravity of this moment to his core. As he stared at her, he brushed his fingers across his lips and swallowed. Gayle made him be in the moment and not remember the failures of his past. Nothing but fighting had done that for him in years. It scared the fucking shit out of him, but he wanted so desperately to grab it at the same time.

Her gaze softening, she squeezed his bicep, a small smile curving her mouth. She simply said, “Okay,” then turned and half-slipped half-ran down the mud path.

He wasn’t sure what she’d meant by that, but the hushed, reassuring way she’d said the word eased the pressure of the moment, allowed them to continue. And he did.

Obstacle after obstacle came at them after that. They climbed a rope net, crawled through tunnels, and waded through waist-deep mud. When they reached an extremely high rock-climbing wall, there wasn’t an inch of their bodies that wasn’t caked with mud, which made keeping a grip difficult.

As they climbed side-by-side, Gayle’s foot slipped, and she fell. The whack of her arm hitting one of the hand grips made Mac hiss. He looked down in time to see her hit the ground with enough momentum to roll backward.
Shit
. Worry twisting his stomach, he jumped down and hurried to her side just as she was pushing to her feet.

“You okay?” he asked, scanning her body for any injuries, unnerved by the fear tightening his chest and making it difficult to breathe.

“Wouldn’t be a mud race if I didn’t fall off the rock wall.” Her chuckle and smile made him shake his head at his knee-jerk reaction. “This one always gives me trouble.”

She’s fine. Chill the fuck out.

“Oh, we’ve got this.” Brushing aside the weird moment, Mac scaled the wall and straddled the top. He reached a hand down. Gayle blinked up at him. He wiggled his fingers at hers and she hesitantly slid her hand in his. As he hauled her up with ease, she squealed. He didn’t let her go until he knew she was safely anchored to the top. She turned wide eyes on him. “Holy shit. Did you really just do that?”

Then her gaze swept over his bicep and an appreciative noise passed those sweet lips. “Rick’s fired. You’re so my new mud buddy. He’d never have been able to just lift me up like that.”

Then she slid down the pole on the other side and landed on the ground.

As he followed her down, the appreciative noise she made rang in his head and plummeted to his groin, making him lose coherent thought for a moment as he watched her muddied ass disappear over the hood of a car.

He wanted her. No reason to fight that anymore. But the fear he’d felt for her safety just seconds ago lay heavy in his chest. Wanting her was one thing. Worrying about her was something else entirely, and it made him immediately want to put distance between them.

Gayle jumped up from behind a car. “Don’t let me lose you now, handsome. Come on!”

She had no idea there was more to the statement than lagging behind on the race. He was at a damn crossroads and he knew it. If he continued, he’d be starting a whole new chapter in life.

Did he really want to? The future he had now was clear. No heartache. No attachments. No worry.

No real life
.

If he allowed people in, then he opened himself up to all of that again. But he couldn’t pussyfoot around with Gayle anymore. He wanted her. It was time for him either to go all in and risk it all, or fold and play it safe.

Both were tempting as hell.

G
ayle cocked her head to the side and watched Mac stand still. An odd expression twisted his handsome face. A mixture of confusion and pensiveness. She didn’t know what was going on in his head, but was wise enough to remain silent as he worked through whatever had triggered this one.

The third one of the day.

She had noticed each and every instant Mac began to struggle with whatever internal demon he was battling. After they had landed in a heap at the bottom of the mud hill, she’d sensed he’d wanted to kiss her. Then this heartbreaking distress had entered his eyes and she’d let him off the hook. After he actually had kissed her, she wasn’t sure who’d been more shocked, him or her, but her heart had expanded at the almost awe that widened his eyes. And right there, she’d made the decision that she could be patient. She’d didn’t know if whatever he was going through was a fresh wound or an old one, but he was struggling because he wanted
her
. And she did want him. Horribly.

So, she’d give him the time to work through his issues. If anyone knew about having to do that, it was her. Hell, she knew some issues you never really got past, you just found a way to live around them. After she’d lost her longtime boyfriend and her family, it’d taken two more heartbreaks for her finally to find a way to cope with
her
abandonment issues. Why it had taken her so long to realize, was beyond her. The answer had been so simple. Still was.

Leave before you get attached.

The last two years had been the happiest and most heartbreak-free she’d had since the tragedy.

Sam’s smiling face formed in her mind for a moment. His dark, unruly hair untamed as ever. His green eyes shining with the love he’d had for her. So damn young. They’d never even gotten a chance to start the future they’d spent years talking about. Her heart squeezed hard once. She allowed her first love to dominate her thoughts for a brief moment, cherishing him even more for being the only man, besides her father, who had unwillingly left her. Then she tucked him carefully back into the past—where he belonged. The only future she had with Sam—or with the family she still desperately missed—was the scientific research she busted her ass to do so, hopefully, one day she could keep their fate from happening to anyone else.

As she surfaced from her demons, she realized Mac still hadn’t moved. Racers passed by, giving him confused expressions. When they shot her a look, she sent them a smile, giving them permission to keep going without stopping.

Come on, handsome. Pick the present. If I can do it, so can you.

She understood the war all too well. Saw herself seven years ago reflected in Mac’s present inner battle. It was so much easier now to put the past away. Hadn’t always been like that—a lot of false starts and heartache had come first. If he was just starting down his road to healing, he had a long journey ahead.

His body shook once. And then he started forward, climbed over the car, and stopped by her side. Even though he smiled down at her, the emotions didn’t quite reach his eyes. And there was a new stiffness to the set of his jaw. A sad determination.