Authors: SANDY LOYD
“Didn’t you hear me
?
Leave
.”
She glared at him, willing him to go
.
He was too attractive as it was
.
“Not just yet
.
I told you we have things to discuss.”
His words stopped her
.
S
he looked at him
incredulously
, her eyes narrowing
.
She couldn’t believe his audacity
.
T
hen she smiled and gave a resigned shake of her head
.
Why should anything he did surprise her
?
This was the same man who walked away from her taunting after their snowball fight
.
She knew he meant what he said
.
He probably wouldn’t leave until he spoke his mind
.
“Well?” she prodded, tapping her foot faster, after long seconds ticked by.
Paul’s eyebrow lifted
.
“Well
,
what?”
Taking a deep breath for control, she waited until she could speak without raising her voice. “You came here to talk, so talk.”
Paul’s smile spread
.
He seemed
to be in no hurry and
was
clearly enjoying her distress
.
“What I had in mind was more along the line of a dialog
ue
—
not a one
-
sided monologue.”
Kate
sighed
.
She
marched over to the table and sat, but well out of his reach.
Paul chuckled and moved to sit across from her
.
“As much as I like kissing you, I’m not going to ravish you
.
I promise
.”
“Oh
,
shut up,” she snapped, feeling heat seep up her face
.
She knew h
e was well aware of his effect on her
.
“That has never been our problem and you know it.”
That comment brought on another bark of laughter
.
When it died, he sobered and was silent for a while before asking, “And what do you see as our problem,
Kate
?”
“Come on
,
Paul
.
I know you’re sexually attracted to me, but I also know your heart belongs to Judith.”
His jawed dropped and he stared at her, totally stunned. “Is that what this is all about?”
Blinking back tears over the memory of their parting, she worked to keep the hurt out of her voice
.
“Can you honestly tell me you don’t love her
?”
What was his game
?
He shook his head
.
“No, but she and I are friends
.
Period
.”
His expression softened
.
He reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze
.
“Surely you know that
.”
“What about Judith?” she asked, capturing his gaze.
“We’re not a couple any longer
.”
Honesty shone in his eyes
.
“She’ll always have a special place in my heart
.
I grew up loving her and I can’t pretend it never happened
.
But it has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
Pain engulfed her at his heartfelt words
.
“Paul, I saw you with her last Tuesday night,” she said softly, glancing at their now entwined hands and studying them for a long moment
.
“I saw the love you
two
share with my own eyes
.
I won’t be placed in the middle.”
He remained silent for a full minute, absorbing her words
.
Then, he whispered, “Is that what made you cry?”
Tears threatened again
.
Unable to speak because of them, she just nodded.
“Oh
,
Kate
, I love you
.
The feelings I have for Judith are nothing compared to what I feel for you
.
They snuck up on me
.
I certainly never expected it to happen, but I can honestly tell you that I was ready to give Judith up anyway
.
She and I weren’t meant to be
.
I finally accepted it.”
She considered this a moment before discarding it
.
“Maybe, but I believe what I saw
.”
At best, she’d become a rebound
;
at worst
,
she’d be taking him away from her best friend
.
“Judith loves you
.
I can’t be the one to take you away from her
.”
And once they were back together, he could really have a laugh
over
her stupidity
.
“She does love me
.
But only as a friend
.
We ended things, just like you and James did
.
So my heart is free and it chooses you
.”
With those words softly spoken, he scooted to the chair next to her and leaned close enough to give her a sweet, comforting kiss
.
All too soon, heat sparked between them
.
Right before it got out of hand, he broke contact and said in a tormented voice, “So tell me you’re not going out with Mike
—
not when you kiss me like that.”
Kate
turned away, wishing she could trust him
.
He may think he was free, but she knew better
.
R
ight now, she
was
his rebound…until Judith realized what she’d tossed away
.
That thought hurt almost as much as loving him did
.
Fighting tears, she stood and said in a resolute tone, “I have to go
.”
She started for her bedroom, beyond the screen.
“What do you mean you have to go?” Paul’s confused voice filled the air as he trailed after her
.
“Why?”
“I don’t expect you to understand, but I’m doing it for me.”
“No, I don’t understand,” he shot back, stalking to her front door
.
As he reached for the handle, he turned. “When you decide you want me and only me, give me a call
.
I’m done waiting around for what may be
.
I know what I want
.
I want you
.
But that goes two ways
.
You have to want me just as much
.
I’m not willing to settle any longer.” After his heated outburst, he was out the door
quickly, pulling it shut behind him with a little more force than necessary
.
Kate
sat on her sofa, eyeing the empty space where only seconds ago Paul’s tall frame filled the doorway
.
For the first time in her life, she was unsure how to proceed
.
She’d always had a plan of action
.
Right now, however, nothing was going as expected
.
Common sense told her she should trust the love and caring she heard in Paul’s voice
.
Paul wasn’t James
.
Why not trust him
,
or trust
her own
judgment
?
Judith’s face infiltrated her thoughts and she sighed, her breath coming out in one big whoosh
.
She really didn’t want to go out with Mike. But the thought of Paul telling her she couldn’t just didn’t sit right, not after seeing him with Judith
.
Mike was a nice guy, and she enjoyed his company
.
He certainly didn’t deserve a phone call
with only
two hours
’
notice
, canceling their date on the off
chance that she and Paul would get together
.
What a dilemma
!
She didn’t move for almost an hour, staring into space
.
When it was time to get ready, she forced herself into action, trying to forget that her heart was breaking.
P
aul left
Kate
’s apartment with a heavy heart
.
At
home, he hurriedly put on running gear
.
Unable to sit in an empty apartment knowing that
Kate
would be out with another man, he headed for the street.
Remembering her curt dismissal, he ran faster, trying to outrun the pain.
How in the hell could
Kate
think he’d be able to go back to Judith after kissing her
?
Nor could he fathom how she could
dismiss
what was between them so readily.
Maybe he was being irrational
.
I
rrational or not, he was through hiding his feelings
.
He’d never settle for love without passion again, which is what it amounted to with Judith
.
H
e wanted all or nothing
.