“You asked her to marry you, knowing you were in love with someone else.”
Daniel caught his breath. Had it been that obvious?
“Who else would that be?” he said.
“Never think I’m a fool, Daniel. Even after you got engaged, you still jumped if someone said Carly’s name. I knew it would never work out with Imogen; you were a glamorous couple, but there were no true feelings there.” Shane stared at him, lips tight. “You changed the day you lost Carly, became harder, colder. There were issues the two of you needed to deal with, but she was furious and you blamed yourself. There was no meeting in the middle and you’re both so stubborn that neither of you were prepared to back down.”
“She made her feelings clear.”
“No, she didn’t. I saw her during her time in hospital, she was devastated, not far off suicidal. Sailing was her life, the Olympics her dream, and you expected her to step back and watch you win from the sidelines, when she ought to have been out there too. You could never have done that, so why did you think she could?”
Daniel swallowed another mouthful of tea. “Maybe I didn’t handle it very well.”
“No, you didn’t, mostly because you felt guilty and partly because you believed your career was more important.”
“What?” He slammed the mug down.
“You did, Daniel.” Shane’s voice was level. “She was better then you, but when it all went horribly wrong, you thought she’d settle down, marry you and have children. Because she’s a girl, who couldn’t possibly have the same drive and ambition that you have, it’d be understandable for you to be angry if you lost your professional career, but not her.”
“I don’t have to listen to this crap.”
“I think you do, actually, if you’re going to have any chance of getting her back. You keep saying that she broke it off with you, which she did, but you didn’t put up much of a fight. There was no reason for you to leave Haven Bay, other than the fact you couldn’t bear to see how broken she was.”
“I know it’s my fault, I’ve always known that.”
“But there’s a difference between accepting it and facing up to it, you took the blame, you never shied from that and I admire you for it, but you didn’t try to mend your mistake. She was left to do that alone.”
Daniel gripped his mug, knuckles showing white. It wasn’t nice hearing what his coach had to say, but to his shame, he suspected that some of it could be true, in which case it was no surprise that Carly reacted as she did. Turning his head, he stared at the snow gathering on the outside windowsill; it would be getting cold in the car.
“I have to go, she’s waiting for me. Let me know what you decide to do about the team.” He stood up.
“You’re off the team.”
“What?” he said, his mouth dropping open. “Off?”
“Yes, you’re not in a good place at the moment and it’s affecting your ability. The same rules apply to everyone; just because you won gold doesn’t mean you can flunk the Nationals.”
“You can’t do this to me, Shane, what else will I do?”
“Sort your life out, like Carly has.”
“So that’s what this is about?”
“No, it’s purely on your lack of ability at the moment. I’m afraid you’re distracted and too sure of yourself.” Shane put his cup down and rose from his chair. “After the accident I tried to persuade Carly to join the Paralympics, but she’s now terrified of water. If you get her sailing again, I’ll reconsider your situation.”
“This is blackmail. I’m not forcing her to do something that scares her to get back on the team.”
“Until she gets back into a boat, she’s never going to recover, and until she does, you won’t. You belong together, but there’s too much anger and resentment on both sides, I don’t expect her to join the Paralympics, but I’ve seen her sitting by the harbour watching the boats, a tissue scrunched in her hand. She misses it terribly, but is too scared to get back into a dinghy. You didn’t help her before, so help her now. Get Carly sailing again.”
Taking a coat from the back of his chair, Shane strode out, leaving Daniel in the empty bar. Closing his eyes, he clenched his fists tight; never had he expected to be off the team. And how would he explain to Carly that in order to help him, she needed to get back into a boat?
• • •
Carly could tell something had happened the moment Daniel strode out of the sailing club, face pale and set. He hadn’t been thrown out, had he? Surely not. Taking the boat didn’t warrant that level of punishment. Wrenching open the door, he climbed into the car and started the engine without looking at her.
“Are you all right?” she said.
“Fine.” He shot out of the parking space and toward the exit.
“Watch your driving, I don’t need any more injuries.”
Instantly, he slowed, turning right onto the coastal road and looking at the clock. “I thought we’d stop for lunch, have a chat,” he said.
She nodded, frowning as she looked at the tight grip of his hands on the steering wheel. Hopefully he wasn’t out, that would be terrible. It had been hard enough for her to sort out a different life and she wasn’t famous like Daniel. He left school with a few more qualifications than she had, but not enough for a new career, and the newspapers would love photos of him serving in shops or ice-cream kiosks.
Daniel parked the car outside a pub and came around to open her door, but instead of lifting her out, he reached for her hands and held them tight.
“I’m sorry, Carly, for what happened and for letting you down. I shouldn’t have joined the team at Portsmouth, I ought to have stayed with you.”
“You would have, if I hadn’t been so horrible.”
“You had reason to be like that. I would have been worse. Rather than march off in fury, I should have tried to understand.”
“What did Shane say?”
Sliding his arms down, he gripped her waist and helped her out the seat, holding her against him then sliding his hand around the back of her head and leaning down, he kissed her hard. Stunned, her arms went around his neck, mouth pressed to his, losing herself in his embrace.
A car horn hooted, reminding her of where they were, and she pulled back.
“What happened with Shane to trigger that?” she said.
He looked at her trembling hands, then the snow drifting around them and reaching into the car, he grabbed her stick.
“We’ll talk inside,” he said. “You’re frozen.”
Taking her arm, he helped her across to the black timbered building, staring straight ahead so she could see only his grim profile. What had happened today?
Holding open the door, he led her into the bar, then through a passage to a lounge with tables, menus, and a fire of glowing logs. Carly perched on the edge of a plush velvet sofa, jumping when he threw himself down beside her, reaching out to twist her bright red hair in his fingertips.
“I’m off the team,” he said.
“What? Why? Because of the boat?”
“No, that was just an excuse. I’ve not been performing at my best recently. Not since the Olympics.”
“Well, it must have taken a lot out of you.” She gazed at him, brow creased, trying to work out what he was telling her. It went deeper than being thrown out the squad.
“I wasn’t exhausted, I’d lost the drive, the desire to win. It just didn’t matter.”
She nodded, understanding perfectly that winning at this level was more than pure physical strength. “Was it because Imogen left you?” she said.
“No, it was never about her. I won the golds for you, because it had been our dream, but when I stood on the podium I realised you weren’t there, that you never would be. There was no point any longer in fooling myself that you might turn up to one of the races to see me. If you didn’t come for the Olympics, you would never come at all.”
“I didn’t think about it, we’d split up. I watched it on the TV.”
“It was a foolish thought, as was getting engaged, a waste of both mine and Imogen’s time.”
She sighed, staring at the table in front of her, at the menu of meals she had no appetite for. “Would you like me to come to the next race?” she offered.
His lip curled up. “There isn’t going to be one at the moment, and I wouldn’t ask you to do that.” He cleared his throat. “Shane wants me to get you sailing again.”
“Sailing?” Her mouth fell open. “No, I can’t. And he has no right to suggest that to you.” She sat forward and wrapped her arms around her chest.
“But I think he’s right, you do need to start sailing again.” He took her hands. “I’ll help you.”
“Because you feel guilty? For poor old Carly, scared of water?”
“You’re not going to recover until you face up to it.”
“So you’re a psychologist now too? No, Daniel. I won’t, and it’s unfair of you to ask me. I want both of you to leave me alone, I’m happy now.”
“Are you?”
“I was until you turned up.” Grabbing her cane, she tried to stand up, furious that her leg didn’t even allow her the dignity of striding away.
“There’s not much point in that, not unless you’re planning on walking home.” He rose and stepped in front of her. “I’m not going to push you, it’s your decision. But I’m here if you need me.”
She nodded, turning her head away from him. This day wasn’t going as she’d planned. “I have to get back, it’s the gala tomorrow and I need to check the last minute arrangements. Are you going to open the fête?”
“Of course I will, but sit back down. We’ll have something to eat first; it’s a long drive back and you look tired.”
“I didn’t sleep very well.”
“Worried about today?”
“The gala.” She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d stopped her sleeping. Actually, she’d spent the night lying awake on her pillows, which had his scent, wishing he was beside her.
Sitting back on the chair, she ordered the first item on the menu, steak and kidney pie. Tight knots clenched her stomach and she kept her gaze on the table, away from Daniel. Could she sail again? Sweat broke out on her forehead as she remembered the icy water burning her lungs, dragging her under the waves — she’d been a strong swimmer, but no one could fight that vicious winter undertow. This was why they needed the new lifeboat. Soon Liam, the only family she had, would be out on the trawlers, battling the powerful Atlantic storms. It was such a dangerous occupation and the thought of him being sucked under the waves too filled her with horror.
But when the waitress put down her plate, containing a dish puffed high with flaky pastry and scented with rich gravy, she forked up the tender, savoury beef. Beside her, Daniel silently ate his fish and chips and she relaxed against the back of the sofa. How many times had they done this before? They’d always been so comfortable in each other’s company, feeling no need to fill in the gaps of silence with random conversation. Could they ever get that closeness back, or would the events of two years ago prove too much for them to deal with?
• • •
Carly leaned against the harbour railing, gazing at the pale morning sunrise as it lifted above the midnight blue ocean, while seagulls cried above her and her breath frosted in the chilled air. A line of dark clouds marked the horizon and she stared at them, brow creased. Pulling her green beanie hat down over her ears, she rubbed her hands together, clad in thick gloves. Behind her, came the swish of brooms as volunteers swept snow from the cobblestones in preparation for the stalls. Taking a deep breath, she unclenched her hands. Please let this day be a success.
A man, wearing a fisherman’s jumper and cable knit hat, put down his broom and strode over to her.
“Hello, Mick. You’re up early,” she said.
“Lot of work to do today, if we’re going to make the millions of pounds you’ve promised us.”
She smiled. “I never said millions; it’s going to take a while to pay for the lifeboat.”
“I know, love. We aren’t expecting miracles, but I think this is a good idea of yours. The kids’ll have a great time anyway, mine were up half the night writing their letters to hand in at Santa’s Grotto.”
“Let’s just hope they don’t recognise you then.”
“That white beard hides everything, they’ll not have a clue and I’ve been practising a foreign accent just in case.” He nodded up the road. “Young Liam’s coming down, he’s been up in the top car park organising signs.”
Carly watched her brother striding down the street; it still surprised her how tall he had grown. When she thought of him, she remembered the boy that clung to her when their mother rejected him. He’d returned the favour though. Without him, she couldn’t have managed these last couple of years.
“Morning, sis,” Liam said, joining them. “The first aiders are setting up their tent and community police have arrived to organise traffic.”
“Or riots,” Mick said.
“Oh, don’t, please!” Carly said. “I’m stressed enough already, surely there won’t be riots?”
“If there are, we’ll have to send your Daniel out to quell them, people like to see a famous person.”
“I’m sure he’d appreciate that, and he’s not my Daniel.”
“Isn’t he? That’s what everyone’s saying, that he went back with you after the sailing club ball.”
“Sometimes I hate living in a small town, is nothing private?”
“You love it really, where else would people carry your shopping home for you?”
She smiled. It was true, she did love Haven Bay. It wasn’t without its faults, but when you were disabled and lived alone, you needed to be in a place where people would look out for you.
“I must ring Daniel, check he’s on time for opening the gala,” she said.
“He’s on his way down, I passed him earlier,” Mick said. “Walking with a blonde girl.”
“That’ll be Ali. Heavily pregnant?”
“It wasn’t his sister, it was that one off the telly, Imogen thingy, the sports presenter.”
Carly went cold.
She stared as Daniel strode toward her, his arm linked with a tall blonde girl, who was muffled up in a long black military coat and a fur hat that Carly knew she never could have carried off. They were almost the same height, striding in tandem, looking like they belonged together. Snow crunched under their shoes and when he turned to speak to her, Imogen tilted her head back to laugh, surprisingly loudly.