Wisdom's Kiss (98 page)
Authors: Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Excerpt: Ben's Misbehavior
>Trudy may believe that doughty Queen Ben has behaved perfectly all her life, but readers of
Princess Ben
know better. Here, Ben describes her experience as a newly crowned, fifteen-year-old princess-in-training.
Much of each day I passed in the company of Lady Beatrix, a tall and bony woman of unknowable age who never appeared without a wig and a thick spackling of powder, rouge, and lipstick, a mole painted somewhere between her cheekbone and chin depending on the formality of the occasion. As an educator, she was utterly lacking.
Her notion of history centered on genealogy, emphasizing Queen Sophia's superior bloodlines. Though she spoke several languages, her vocabulary consisted of fashion and dining terms and fawning, useless phrases. Because she insisted on teaching me three tongues at once, I eventually uttered such nonsense as "the draperies in this hall are lovely," but in a tangle of languages and grammar that not even she could unravel. Penmanship I found equally wretched, for I had far less interest in the appearance of my words than in their substance, a concept that held no meaning for my teacher....
Needlework—oh, hateful needlework! How many loathsome hours did I spend embroidering handkerchiefs with ridiculous flowers and illegible initials, only for Beatrix to reject them. "Someday," she would simper, "a prince himself will request your handkerchief as token. This would be shameful to present.
"
"
I don't care about tokens!"I snapped. "I don't care about princes,
either!" I found it effortless to talk back to her, but ultimately unsatisfying, as she ignored me utterly.
"
Remember, Benevolence,"she would say, handing me another square of linen, "'Tis a needle, not a lance. Gentle stitches.
"
Dance and music were taught by stout little Monsieur Grosbouche, whose hands were as cold and damp as freshly caught fish. He, too, believed that the promise of well-born bachelors should inspire my greatest exertions. As he dragged me through each minuet, polonaise, and gavotte, puffing the beat with odferous breath, I entertained myself by stepping on the wide bows of his high-heeled dance slippers, then sweetly awaiting his stumble.
Excerpted from pages 55–57 of
Princess Ben: Being a Wholly Truthful Account of Her Various Discoveries and Misadventures, Recounted to the Best of Her Recollection, in Four Parts
by Catherine Gilbert Murdock, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company © 2008. Reprinted with permission.
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Excerpt: Edwig
>When old Queen Ben states that she "far preferred ... Farina when it was ambitious and stupid!" she knows of what she speaks. Ben was first introduced to Wilhelmina's father, then still a lowly baron, at a ball intended to present the eligible young princess to society. The encounter did not go well.
The kings and queens, lords and ladies, princes and princesses, earls, dukes, knights, marquises, and other titles I scarcely knew hovered about to be presented, one by one. I could not recall their names if I tried.
That is not exactly true. I do recall Sophia herself introducing me to the Baron Edwig of Farina, for the hand he offered was, to my surprise, even clammier than that of Monsieur Grosbouche. The man's face was painted almost as thickly as Lady Beatrix's, and he clutched me as though I were a prize he would not quickly release.
"
The baron,"the queen said, "has traveled five days to attend this fete. He is most interested in making your acquaintance.
"
"
I had heard tales of your loveliness," Edwig simpered, "but none does it justice. Perhaps someday you will match the beautiful queen regent herself.'
"
I glowered at the man, wondering if he had any notion of how ridiculous he sounded. "I trust you are enjoying your stay in our castle?"I asked at last.
"
Would that I were, Your Highness. But I am afraid my sleep last night was quite troubled. This morning I identified the source of my bruises"—here he reached into a pocket of his waistcoat—"as a pea that had been tucked beneath my mattress "With a sad smile, he displayed the offending object.
I uttered the first thought that entered my head: "Well, aren't you frightfully rude.
"
Excerpted from pages 55–57 of
Princess Ben: Being a Wholly Truthful Account of Her Various Discoveries and Misadventures, Recounted to the Best of Her Recollection, in Four Parts
by Catherine Gilbert Murdock, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company © 2008. Reprinted with permission.
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Princess Ben>
Excerpt: Elemental Spells
>Nonna Ben first discovered the Elemental Spells as a sullen and lonely teenager, the same night she stumbled upon the secret
Wizard Room
. As her memoir
Princess Ben
relates, mastery of the Elemental Spells was fitful at best, and Ben's intentions were often less than admirable.
If I had not yet come to the conclusion that this tome was a force of
magic, the title words-difficult to discern, for the room though illuminated
by the moon had not light for scholarship—left no doubt. "The Elemental Spells," they proclaimed, in a flowing, archaic script I would discover soon enough was not the easiest to decipher. A dense paragraph followed, too challenging to read in the weak light, and then a series of precise illustrations and captions, with arrows highlighting specific elements, much as a cookery book might demonstrate the proper way to trim a roast, or an engineering manual the ideal configuration of a gristmill...
...Beneath [each] drawing was a series of words in a tongue I did not recognize; it looked wild, foreign, and unpronounceable. Helpfully, a second line of text sounded the words out syllable by syllable....
Across the two pages, I could see now, every chain of pictures ended with cupped hands, and each set of hands held a different substance. One clutched a lump resembling soil, another water with rippling surface. The third pair held what could only have been fire, sans a single indication of discomfort. The last hands I puzzled over, for they appeared to harbor a
puff of mist, much like the clouds forever swirling about the base of our waterfall. These pictures meant something, I knew, but what?
Suddenly, as I scanned the pages' title, it struck me. The elemental spells these were, and such they produced: the four elements of earth, water, fire, and air.
What good such spells would accomplish I had not a clue. The ability to make dirt, or air, seemed rather a waste of magic. Fire, however,
particularly aflame one could hold without danger-that was a different
situation altogether.
Excerpted from pages 55–57 of
Princess Ben: Being a Wholly Truthful Account of Her Various Discoveries and Misadventures, Recounted to the Best of Her Recollection, in Four Parts
by Catherine Gilbert Murdock, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company © 2008. Reprinted with permission.