Wish on the Moon (27 page)

"Dad and I have settled our differences."

"You've formed an uneasy peace. You haven't
talked about why you left, have you?"

Guilt stabbed her. "No."

"Actions speak louder than words, Laura. I
know that's old, but it's true. My mother might lose most of her
savings because of you. And I've lost..." He stopped as if the
admission would cost him too much.

"What have you lost, Mitch?" Once the
question hung between then, she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"I was beginning to believe deep feelings
weren't a bad thing. I was beginning to believe two people could
share more than their bodies and trust wasn't a tiger that could
eat you alive. I was beginning to believe you were a risk worth
taking. But I was wrong about all of it. Carey trusted you, but you
didn't trust me. I did trust you, and you betrayed that trust. And
when trust is destroyed, it can't be repaired."

"Mitch..."

"There's nothing else to say."

Damn his stubbornness and his barriers! He
was locking her out again. "Yes, there is. You don't understand
Carey, and you don't understand me."

He brushed past her and would have kept going
but she grabbed his arm. "Do you think he wanted to be a wild
teenager? Do you think I wanted to be rebellious?"

Mitch stared at her hand until she removed
it, but he didn't step away.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she tried to
explain. "Your Dad confused Carey as much as he did you. But Carey
felt connected to him and wanted to please him. When your father
died, he felt lost. He didn't know where he belonged. Nora was
working most of the time. You were the perfect son doing everything
right. He wanted attention and didn't know how to get it. That's
exactly how I felt. I needed to know somebody loved me."

His eyes burned into her. "Your father loved
you. And Mom and I loved Carey."

She shook her head. "But don't you see? We
didn't know that. Carey needs your love and emotional support now
as much as he did when he was younger. Can't you tell him--?"

"Fix your own life, Laura. And stay out of
mine."

The pain in his eyes was as great as the
sorrow surrounding her heart. She wanted to cry Don't leave, Don't
do this to us. But in her anguish she realized part of him wanted
to prove he was right, that she wasn't meant to be trusted or
loved.

Because he was afraid of loving. He was
afraid of risking...afraid of being rejected. She'd been living
under the illusion he'd come around, he'd admit his feelings, he'd
ask her to stay. She'd been wrong. Self protection was more
important to him than love.

He strode out the door and this time she
didn't try to stop him. The damage had been done and there was no
turning back.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Laura answered the phone in the store's
office on the first ring. Caller ID told her it wasn't Mitch. It
was Carey.

She closed the door and asked, "Are you
okay?"

"Better than I've been in a long time. I'm at
your dad's. I gave Ma back her money. When I got to the track, I
turned around. You were right. One bet could lead to others."

"I'm proud of you."

"That means a lot."

"I'm sure Mitch is too."

"I wouldn't know. And I'm not sticking around
to find out."

"I told him what you were going to do. He
went to the track to look for you."

"I'm not going to stick around. He'll never
admit he approves of anything I did. I'll be gone in a few
minutes."

"Gone?" She didn't like the sound of
that.

"I'm leaving for Virginia. One way or another
I'm going to start a new life. I can't invest in the DVD rentals,
but I'm going to look until I get a job somewhere. With my track
record, I'd be great in sales."

"You should stay until you see Mitch."

"Give it up, Laura. I have. I just called to
say good-bye. You take care of yourself and Mandy."

"I will." Tears clogged her throat.

"I hope it works out with you and Mitch. I
can't promise I'll stay in touch. I'm not good at that kind of
thing."

Obviously Carey's mind was made up. There was
nothing she could do about it. Only Mitch could. "Good luck."

"You too. You've been a good friend."

When Laura put down the receiver, tears
rolled down her cheeks. She'd gained a friend in Carey, but at what
price? She'd lost more than a friend and lover in Mitch. She'd lost
her heart.

***

Mandy came into Laura's room the next morning
and jumped on the bed. "Are we really going home tomorrow?"

Laura flicked the brush through her hair,
carefully styling it around her face. She didn't know why she
bothered. She was staying home today to pack, to print out their
tickets, to spend time with her dad. After breakfast, Mitch would
be gone if he wasn't already and he certainly wouldn't be speaking
to her. He'd make that clear last night. Dinner had been a silent,
tense meal, only made bearable by Mandy's chatter and Ray's
attempts to force conversation. Nora had been upset because Carey
had left. Mitch had been solicitous of his mother but coolly formal
with Laura. He responded with natural warmth to Mandy, but whenever
his gaze landed on Laura, it was icy blue.

Laura hadn't slept last night and her head
pounded, but she was determined to make her daughter's last day in
York as enjoyable as possible. She sat on the bed next to her.
"Yes, we're leaving tomorrow. How do you feel about that?"

Her daughter smiled the smile that always
warmed Laura's heart. "I want to see Anne and George. But I'm gonna
miss Nora and Gramps. And especially Mitch. I like him as much as
George."

That was the highest honor Mandy could give.
"I know you do."

She bounced on the bed and played with a
string on her jeans. "But he'll be here with Gramps, won't he? We
can come back and visit both of them. Think he'd like me to send
him pictures I draw?"

Laura let the idea of visiting Mitch pass.
"I'm sure he would. But you can ask him today when you see him."
She was sure Mitch wouldn't go back to Harrisburg without saying
good-bye to Mandy.

"Can I help you pack the suitcases?"

"If you want to."

Mandy hopped off the bed. "Can I do it
now?"

Such energy. Laura wished she could scoop
some of it up and spread it over herself. Her sleepless night was
going to make this a long day. She checked her watch. "There's time
before breakfast. I would help me a lot if you take everything out
of your drawers and put your clothes on the bed." She'd have to
pack the suitcase carefully to get everything in. By the time Mandy
emptied her drawers, she'd be tired of the idea.

Laura pulled Mandy's suitcase from the closet
and opened it on top of the bed. Mandy was happily emptying the
drawers when Laura went downstairs to start breakfast. Using an egg
substitute and skim milk, she could make her dad French toast. And
maybe she could make them all something special for supper and give
Nora a break. Besides, it would give her something to do. Time on
her hands was the one thing she didn't want today.

Laura was beating the eggs with a fork when
Nora entered the kitchen, wearing a jogging suit and a sheepish
smile. "I forgot to set my alarm. I'm sorry."

Laura wondered if Nora had spent a restless
night also. They had talked about Carey last night and although
Nora missed him, she'd agreed he was on the right track. They'd
avoided the subject of Mitch as if they'd made an unspoken
agreement.

Laura added pepper and minced onion to the
egg mixture. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I have this under
control. You can sit and talk to me."

Nora pulled out a chair, stared at it, and
pushed it back in. "You know I don't like to sit and watch. What
can I do?"

Laura motioned to the books on the other side
of the kitchen. "You could check the cookbook for the Chicken
Cacciatore recipe and tell me what ingredients we don't have. I'll
stop at the store."

Nora gave her a blank look.

Laura pointed. "It's the red one on the
shelf."

Nora went to the shelf and pulled down the
book. She looked at it as if it might bite her. "What did you say
it was called?"

"Chicken Cacciatore. If you check the index
in the back..."

Nora turned to the back of the book. "I can't
find it.

"I'm sure it's under chicken." Laura switched
her attention from the eggs to Nora. Tears glistened in the older
woman's eyes.

Suddenly Laura suspected what was wrong.

The non-prescription glasses, Nora never
having the time or inclination to read Mandy a story, Nora letting
Laura make out the shopping list, Nora saying she wasn't good
enough for Ray.

Laura took the cookbook from Nora's hands.
"You can't read, can you?"

Nora shook her head and a tear rolled down
her cheek. "I've managed to hide it all my life. Even Sam never
knew. I thought I had to stay with him because I never thought I
could manage on my own. If only I'd known, everything would have
been different...for all of us."

Laura understood so much now. The
helplessness Nora must have felt. She probably depended on her
husband for information, to read the mail, anything and everything.
No wonder she'd been afraid to leave him.

But Nora had guts and stamina. "You don't
have to hide it. You can get help. There are programs."

"What's the matter, Nora?" Ray asked as he
came into the kitchen with Mitch beside him.

"Nothing's wrong." Nora self consciously
wiped a tear from her cheek.

Mitch and Ray were staring at Laura, and she
felt as if she was smack dab in the middle again.

Mitch's voice sliced the air. "What did you
say to upset her, Laura?"

What could she say? Nothing that would lessen
the tightness in his facial muscles or soften the strict slash of
his mouth.

When Laura remained silent, Nora intervened.
"She didn't say anything. She asked me to do something for her and
I can't. Mitch, Ray, there's something you should know. I'm getting
too old to pretend, too old to cover up. I might be too old to get
help, but I'm not too old to tell the truth. I can't read."

The shock on Ray's face was quickly replaced
by concern. He went to Nora and put his arm around her shoulders.
"How difficult life must be for you. But you're never too old to
get help. I'll help. I can teach you if you don't want to go
somewhere else. We'll get the best program we can find."

"Ray, you don't want to spend your time
teaching me what I was too slow to learn years ago," Nora responded
in astonishment.

"What better way to spend my time!" He gave
her a gentle squeeze. "I know we can do it--together."

It had been a long time since Laura had seen
this gentleness emanating from her father with anyone but Mandy,
and she realized how much he cared about Nora. She knew her eyes
were shiny when they met Mitch's. She was unprepared for the
animosity there, the doubts that said he wondered if she'd known
about this too.

He joined Ray at Nora's side. "There's
nothing to be ashamed of, Mom. If you need my help too, you have
it. I just wish you'd told me years ago."

Laura heard the regret in Mitch's voice. She
remembered what he'd said about her fixing her own life. It was
time for her and her father to talk. Before she left. Before it was
too late. She wished she could talk to Mitch too. But from the look
in his eyes, she doubted he'd listen. He'd wrapped his anger and
sense of betrayal around himself to use as protection against
her.

He didn't stay for breakfast but muttered
something about getting to the store early. Obviously he couldn't
stand being in the same room with her. That hurt even more than his
anger.

Laura helped Nora clean up the kitchen, then
before she lost her nerve she went in search of her father. He was
in the back yard walking along the stream.

She ran to catch up to him. "It's hard to
believe it snowed last week."

"The sun's almost melted all of it. Except
along the bank. Nature has a way of protecting itself, of making
things last. It's a shame we can't learn how to do that."

The sun glanced off the silver in her
father's hair. "What would you like to last?"

"This time with you and Mandy. Will you
really come back to visit?"

"Yes, we will."

"You can call and e-mail. I have an e-mail
address now."

"We'll do that too." She plunged in before
she lost her nerve. "Dad, I'm sorry I didn't try to get in touch
with you after I had Mandy. You should have known you had a
granddaughter."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I made a
mess of everything. I'm just so thankful Mitch got in touch with
you when I was too afraid to do it."

"Afraid?" She'd never thought of her dad as
being afraid of anything.

"I was afraid you'd tell him you wouldn't
come back here," he explained gruffly, looking towards the stream.
"That you'd want to stay far away."

"Dad, I never wanted to leave. I hoped you'd
change your mind and accept Doug. That's why I wrote at first."

He faced her. "I should have answered you. I
wanted so much for you. He wasn't it. But if he made you happy, I
should have realized that's all you'd care about. It's what I
should have cared about. Can you forgive a stubborn old man?"

Laura fought the tears valiantly, but it
wasn't worth the effort because they leaked out one after the
other. She hugged her father as she could never remember hugging
him. And she felt his arms come around her to give her the warmth
and support she'd missed since she was a child. "I forgive you,
Daddy. Can you forgive me for staying away so long?"

"Of course. I'm just glad you're here now."
After long moments of them both giving and receiving forgiveness,
Ray released her. "Laura, if you'd stay, you'd have free rein with
the business. I wouldn't interfere in your personal life, either. I
give you my word."