Wishing For Rainbows (Historical Romance) (18 page)

By the time they had packed the remains of their picnic back into the baskets several hours later, Ursula wondered why she had been worrying at all. Whatever had happened this morning to put him in such a bad mood had clearly been forgotten because Trenton had been the delightfully charming man she had come to know and love, and that was good enough for her.

She thought about that as they ambled back toward the curricle. He had come to mean so much to her in such a short space of time that she felt as though she had known him all of her life. This new closeness between them was simply delightful, and eased so many of her doubts and worries about the future, and whether they would have one together, that she couldn’t withhold her smile of delight. She almost resented the formal social strictures of society that prevented them walking with their arms linked or, even better, with his arm wrapped around her as he had last night. Instead, they were forced to keep a decorous distance between them in respect of prying eyes as they walked back to his curricle. However that didn’t stop them gazing lovingly at each other as they walked along,

Suddenly, a voice made them both stop and sigh in disgust.

“Well, don’t you two look the cosy couple? You must be careful or you will end up the talk of the town,” a rather robust voice piped up from several feet behind them.

Ursula felt Trenton stiffen beside her. The fierce anger on his face warned her that something had happened he hadn’t told her about yet, and it had something to do with the Sinnertons. He was positively glaring at Mrs Sinnerton as though he hated her, and speared the woman with a stare that conveyed every ounce of his displeasure.

“Afternoon,” he growled discouragingly as he nudged Ursula into a walk.

“Where is your maid?” Mrs Sinnerton demanded loudly, determined not to be ignored. She glanced meaningfully around them to make a point to the numerous people within ear-shot that Ursula was unchaperoned.

Trenton’s temper surged. “If I didn’t know better, Mrs Sinnerton, I would say that you are following us.” He knew he had hit the nail on the head when Mrs Sinnerton’s head jerked toward him, and her eyes flashed in outrage. “First Hyde Park and now here. What are the chances of us choosing to visit the same park at the same time for several days running?”

“It’s a wonderful day for a stroll,” Mrs Sinnerton declared flatly, staring pointedly at Ursula’s hand resting on Trenton’s arm.

Ursula was about to snatch it away when Trenton placed his hand upon Ursula’s, effectively keeping it still. “Please don’t let us keep you then. Enjoy your stroll. Good day.”

“People will talk you know,” Mrs Sinnerton warned when they began to walk away. “It is already the talk of the
ton
that you are always together. It is quite a scandal.”

“I don’t know why,” Trenton snorted disparagingly. “Both of us are free, and able to socialise as we please. Besides, I have been moving amongst the
ton
long enough to know that those with the smallest minds will actively encourage the most scurrilous gossip.”

He watched the woman’s face turn positively venomous and realised that there was far more to Mrs Sinnerton than a social climbing, somewhat avaricious mother. He rather suspected that whatever she was hiding wasn’t pleasant, and wondered whether she was the driving force behind Alfred’s ruthless behaviour.

“Given that you haven’t been in London all that long, I don’t suppose you would be aware of that though,” he mused thoughtfully. “Where was it you come from?”

“Somerset,” Mrs Sinnerton snapped with a frown.

“Where in Somerset? I have a few well-connected friends in the county. I am sure they will be pleased to make your acquaintance while you are here, and can regale us with many anecdotes of your activities there.”

Ursula watched the woman’s face turn furtive. The look vanished so swiftly that if she hadn’t been studying the woman closely she would have missed it. 

“I heard that it was Todmarsh,” Ursula mused knowing it to be true because she had overheard Mrs Sinnerton say so.

“A nice rural backwater,” he mused, making pointed reference to Mrs Sinnerton’s lack of social status. He glanced around pointedly. “Is Alfred not with you today?”

“I am afraid not. He has business matters to deal with.”

“Oh, that’s odd,” Trenton countered. “I could have sworn I saw him outside Ursula’s house earlier.” His voice dropped to a silken drawl at the same time that his hardened gaze met and held Mrs Sinnerton’s. “Maybe I was mistaken.”

They were about to walk away when Mrs Sinnerton stepped toward them. “I meant to ask you, Miss Proctor, if you intend to go to the Humphrey’s ball tomorrow night?”

Ursula opened her mouth to speak only for Trenton to put himself between her and Mrs Sinnerton. “Yes, we are. I didn’t realise you knew the Humphrey family.”

“Oh, well, we don’t really,” Mrs Sinnerton replied. “I just wondered if you were going to go. I should so like to make your acquaintance there. Alfred has talked about you so much since the dinner the other week that I am sure he will be most pleased to see you there.” It was clear from the somewhat conciliatory tone that she was trying to curry favour, but it held little ground with Ursula.

“Yes, we shall be there. Good day to you.” This time Trenton didn’t wait for the woman to delay them again and wasted no time escorting Ursula to his curricle.

“What was that all about?” she asked when he had handed her aboard and climbed onto the seat beside her.

“I think she is following us. Her and that son of hers,” Trenton growled. He sighed when he realised that he would have to tell her, if only to keep her safe. “I saw Alfred watching the house this morning. He was right at the end of the road and made no attempt to approach, but didn’t try to hide his face either.”

“Well, there is no point trying to hide it given you already saw him last night,” she countered. “Why was he watching Adelaide’s house?”

“He was waiting for you to go for your walk, probably.”

“Do you think he was driving the carriage that nearly knocked me down the other day?” she demanded suddenly feeling chilled at the thought.

“I think it is most likely. It was definitely him who attacked us last night,” Trenton replied rubbing his jaw. “I could do with getting a closer look at him because I landed a few punches last night that are certain to leave bruises.”

Ursula considered that for a moment while Trenton turned the curricle into the traffic.

“If he is badly bruised, he wouldn’t want to be seen up close, would he?” Ursula mused.

Trenton shook his head. She had a point, but he still wanted to get within arm’s reach of the little man, if only so he could place a few choice words in his ear.

“He has a sister,” Ursula gasped and shared a look with Trenton.

Trenton thought about that and nodded. “It would explain why you were able to throw your attacker off. The sister isn’t much different in build to you.” He looked at Ursula. “She is definitely a bit taller than her brother.”

“It was her who accosted me in my bedroom, wasn’t it?” she asked, turning to scour the park for her only to find both Sinnerton women had vanished completely.

“I think it may have been. They are certainly an odd family,” Trenton replied.

“Why do you think they followed us here?” She shivered at the thought of being so close to the woman who meant to physically hurt her.

“Heaven only knows. She made a point of mentioning that we were breaking with convention by being out alone without a chaperone. I can’t help but ask why she would mention it. Why risk ruining your reputation if she wants to be friends?” Trenton lapsed into silence as he thought about that. He felt as though he was missing something only couldn’t decide what it was.

“She was certainly interested in whether we intend to go to the Humphrey’s ball or not, wasn’t she?” Ursula asked with a frown. “How could she intend to follow us there if she doesn’t know the Humphrey’s? She wouldn’t get an invitation, would she?”

“That woman turns up anywhere she wants to go. I have no doubt that she will turn up at the Humphrey’s ball too, even without an invitation,” Trenton replied dourly.

“I am not going though. I thought you said you weren’t?”

Trenton looked at her knowingly. “We aren’t, but it will give her something to do.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you had seen him?” she asked quietly.

She suspected that was the cause for his earlier concern and was a little hurt that he hadn’t felt the need to take her into his confidence until forced to. She wondered if he would have mentioned it at all if they hadn’t run into Mrs Sinnerton, and somehow doubted it. “This does involve me, you know.”

“I just don’t want you to worry,” he sighed. “You have enough to contend with given what has happened of late. I don’t want you to feel scared to step outside of the front door. He didn’t approach me, or the house. He was just - there.”

“You should have told me,” she chided. “He poses a risk to me. If he is waiting outside of my house, I deserve to know about it. I won’t be cossetted like some addle-brained female, Trenton.”

“I am not cossetting you. I just don’t want you worrying unnecessarily. He posed no risk; he didn’t approach or speak to me. Whenever you go out, you always go to public places and have Adelaide with you. Sinnerton is hardly likely to accost you in the middle of the street, now is he?”

“One of them did on the towpath the other week, and you were with me,” she replied pointedly.

Trenton looked at her and had to agree.

“Don’t keep secrets from me, Trenton. If you want me to trust you then you need to confide in me too. Trust is a two-way street.”

She knew from the way he looked at her then looked away that there was more he wasn’t telling her, but when he didn’t speak she realised he wasn’t going to take her into his confidence.

“This is why I won’t consider marriage,” she said quietly when the silence had lengthened between them a little too much.

Trenton’s head jerked around. “Why?”

She could feel him studying her but didn’t look at him. “I am sick and tired of having everyone making decisions for me. I thought coming here might give me some freedom, but I have just exchanged my father’s orders for Adelaide’s. It turns out that I have even less freedom here than I did back in Yorkshire. Even Adelaide decides where we go and what we do. I am a grown woman, perfectly capable of making decision about where I want to go by myself, yet I cannot even choose to spend an evening in front of the fire if I want to. I absolutely refuse to marry and have a husband make decisions for me for the rest of my life. It’s not a marriage; it’s an ownership.” She turned a look on him that was almost harsh. “I won’t be traded like a piece of meat.”

Trenton stared at her in horror, and realised then just how badly he had misjudged her. He had also made a colossal mistake in not being entirely honest with her from the very start of their relationship.

“Please don’t keep things like this from me, Trenton. I need to know if he is around so I can keep an eye out for him. Not telling me puts me even more at risk. I could have engaged him in conversation without realising just how dangerous he is.”

“I know, I am sorry,” Trenton sighed. He had to concede she had a point. “It’s the Neanderthal in me wanting to protect you, I suppose.”

Ursula nodded but was aware of the stilted silence that lay between them throughout the rest of the journey home.

Ursula looked over the top of her book when her aunt sighed deeply.

“Alright?” she asked, knowing Adelaide most certainly wasn’t.

“No. I am bored. Isaac is fussing too much, and I haven’t seen my friends for too long. At my age one must take advantage of every opportunity to keep the mind alive. I shouldn’t be sitting here waiting for God to realise I am still going,” Adelaide declared dourly.

Ursula bit back a smile and put her book in her lap. “So, what would you like to do with the evening?” She glanced at the clock and prayed Adelaide didn’t want to go to someone’s ball, but it was still early in the evening. They had time to do so if Adelaide insisted on it. “It is too late to accept anybody’s invitation to dine or anything, and you are not recovered well enough to go to any balls,” she warned darkly.

“I have two tickets for the theatre,” Adelaide declared with a crafty smile. “It would be a shame to not use them. I have heard so much about this play that I should like to see it for myself. Just so I know what everyone is talking about.”

“It is a dire spectacle from what I have heard,” Ursula replied, suspecting that they were going to go to the theatre.

“Well, let’s go and find out for ourselves. It is hardly a taxing endeavour to go to the theatre, now is it? I cannot just sit here all evening. I am bored already,” Adelaide argued even though Ursula hadn’t objected.

“Then the theatre it is,” Ursula agreed with a sigh.

An hour later, Ursula stepped inside the brightly lit entrance hall at the Apollo, and sighed in delight as she studied the brilliantly lit opulence of the theatre and its assorted patrons. The patrons were milling in the entrance hall, exchanging pleasantries and small talk before they found their boxes. She tried not to stare as she followed Adelaide through the crowd, but it was difficult given the plethora of colours, sights, sounds and infectious feeling of expectation that lingered in the air.

“We will take our box seat straight away, I think,” Adelaide declared over her shoulder. “I want to see who is here before the lights go down. Oh, there is Myra Thornton. I must say hello while we are here.”

Ursula sighed and followed her aunt as she forged a path across the room. She curtseyed to Adelaide’s friends politely and stood patiently to wait for her aunt to move on. While Adelaide conversed, Ursula turned her attention to the guests within the grand entrance hall.

In one second, her entire world screeched to a halt, and began to crumble around her. A gasp escaped her. Her stomach dipped. She blinked and stared in shock, unsure at first that her eyes weren’t deceiving her.

“Trenton,” she whispered, staring at him in stunned disbelief.

When several people blocked her view, she moved to one side so she could get a better look. Sure enough, Trenton was there along with his friend, Hugo something or other. That didn’t bother her at all. He was just out for the evening. That was all; nothing to worry about. She wouldn’t have worried either, if it hadn’t been for the very clear fact that the men were escorting two beautiful young women; one of whom Trenton had been so earnestly wrapped around the night of the Andover’s ball. Right now, he was laughing down into her face with carefree abandon that hinted at an intimacy between them.

The wave of hurt that swept through her was so strong that she struggled to take a breath. When she realised she was staring she forced herself to look away. Unfortunately, like a moth to a flame her gaze was drawn back to them time and again. There was something in Trenton’s face; an easy-going enjoyment that she had never seen when he was with her. When he was with her he was always tense; watchful even and had certainly never tossed his head back and laughed with such carefree abandon before.

“Come along, my dear,” Adelaide murmured quietly.

Ursula jerked and looked at her aunt. She blinked away the salty sting of tears and nodded, painfully aware that her aunt had also seen Trenton.

“Would you like to make their acquaintance?” Adelaide asked as she studied the group.

“No! God, no,” Ursula snapped in a voice that quivered with a mixture of outrage and hurt.

How could he do this to her after what they had shared? Had it not meant anything to him? She glanced about the room blankly, unsure which way to go or what to do.

“Would you like to go home instead?” Adelaide turned around until her back was to the group, effectively blocking Ursula’s view of them.

Ursula seriously considered whether to leave. She wanted to run and keep going until she could get that betraying image out of her head. As it was, something within her refused to allow him to see how much devastation his treachery had wrought. Closing her eyes against the pain, she gave her aunt a smile that was as brave as it was tentative.

“Let’s go and find our box, shall we?” she whispered, and swallowed the tears away while they made their way up the stairs to their private box.

“Are you alright, my dear?”

“Yes, thank you,” she replied woodenly.

“Did you not know he was here?”

She could see no reason to lie to Adelaide. “No. He told me he had some business to attend to. Why did he lie? Why is he with
her
?”

“I don’t know, my dear,” Adelaide replied frankly. “You do know who she is, don’t you?”

Ursula shook her head, not really wanting to know but determined to find out for herself before Trenton told her any more lies. Or rather kept even more secrets.

“That is Serena, Hugo’s sister. Hugo has been Trenton’s friend since they were young boys. It caused quite a stir when that Barbarella girl started to put it about that she expected an offer from Trenton. People had always assumed that Serena would be Trenton’s choice for a bride. They often go out together. The other lady, Melvina Davenport, is Hugo’s intended. They make a foursome, and regularly attend social engagements together. It is nothing new.”

“Why did you not tell me?” Ursula whispered. Each word Adelaide had spoken had felt like a hammer blow to her tender heart. She realised just how much of a fool she had been to place her trust in someone she barely knew, but couldn’t be sure whether to be angry with him or herself.

“I thought you knew, my dear. I had hoped that once he made your acquaintance, and realised how wonderful you are, he would end his association with Serena and look toward you.” Adelaide frowned across the theatre to the box where Trenton was in the process of seating the ladies.

Ursula knew she was looking at the people they were discussing but didn’t want to look at them. She didn’t want to see just how much he had betrayed her again.

“Why would he lie about going out tonight? He told me he had business to conduct,” she said somewhat peevishly. He never said that the business was another woman.

“He probably didn’t want to hurt your feelings. After all, he could hardly tell you that he was going to take Serena to the theatre, now could he?”

Ursula wondered if he would have told her he had taken Serena anywhere and rather suspected that he wouldn’t. If there was one thing Trenton apparently liked to do it was keep a secret.

What should she do now though? She could hardly challenge him because he hadn’t made her any promises. He had fulfilled his obligation to take her to the picnic, albeit he was late and distracted at first, but he had turned up. There was no reason why he should call to see her again at all. He had made no offers for her and had not done anything publically that would damage her reputation. He was perfectly able to see who he chose.

But he has ruined you,
a small voice reminded her.
Several times in fact, and you let him
.

“Try not to let it ruin your evening,” Adelaide warned. “There is most probably a perfectly reasonable explanation.”

Ursula snorted. “Yes, he is a liar,” she declared flatly. “I don’t care what he does. I hope I shall never see him again.”

“You care for him, don’t you?”

Ursula hesitated. She wanted to lie and deny it, but if she did then her aunt wouldn’t understand her aversion to meeting with him again. Besides, Adelaide had already done so much for her that Ursula couldn’t bring herself to be dishonest. She nodded slowly.

“I always have in a way. Even from childhood, I knew I was wishing for rainbows expecting him to notice me. I am not connected to anyone other than you, and living in Yorkshire that doesn’t really count for much. Now that I have met him, and gotten to know him, he is better than I had ever dreamt he could be. Or I thought he was.” She glanced across the theatre one last time. “It appears I was wrong. My ridiculous childish infatuation with him should never have been acknowledged. It should have remained in Yorkshire with the memories.”

She jumped when Adelaide’s hand settled comfortingly over hers. She gave her aunt a quivering smile to assure her that everything was alright, but tears loomed anyway at the sympathy in the older woman’s gaze.

“Love can be a very strange creature at times. It brings out the best and the worst in people. It can render some people useless to fight their desires while in others it makes them stronger and more capable. Those who argue they don’t acknowledge it are the weakest, if you ask me. Unfortunately, the majority of the
ton
don’t marry for love. These people focus their entire lives around money, connections and titles. Those with the most go the furthest. It is as simple as that. Someone like Trenton will have been raised as a young boy to marry someone of his ilk and not settle for anyone less. Serena is Lady Inglemere.”

“Someone of his ilk,” she whispered, feeling more betrayed than ever.

“Don’t feel so bad, Ursula. Someone who doesn’t have the wisdom to see the woman you are and appreciate you doesn’t deserve you. There will be someone somewhere along the way for you, I have no doubt. I have to say that am surprised at Trenton. I had hoped he would be more estimable than that. Even I had the impression that he was keen on you. It appears that I was wrong.” Adelaide’s voice changed from being soft and sympathetic to one that was harsh and filled with disgust.

It barely penetrated the thick fog of misery that had settled over Ursula, who was lost to her misery. Aware that the theatre was now full, she took one last look at him. Her heart lurched when she realised he was staring straight at her. She stared back, but was thankfully prevented from having to acknowledge him by the dimming of the lights.

“I won’t ask you here, my dear, but I think you had better be entirely honest about exactly what has happened between you and Trenton Calderhill,” Adelaide declared as soon as they were encased in darkness. “I won’t settle for anything less than the full truth. Then we can decide how best to handle the situation.”

Ursula closed her eyes and realised then just how thorough her fall from grace was.

“This is awful,” Adelaide whispered half an hour later and shared a rueful look with her niece through the darkness.

Ursula swiped the tears off her face and shook her head. “You were told that it was,” she challenged.

Now that her initial hurt had started to fade, anger had replaced it. She was furious with Trenton for his deceit, and wished now she had probed a bit deeper into the business activities he had mentioned. No wonder he had been so secretive about things; clearly he had matters he wished to hide.

Still, if there was one bright side to all of this, it reconfirmed her belief that she should never just hand her future over to a husband, no matter how good his connections were. Men were deceitful; it was as simple as that. If she ever doubted it, she only had to look at Brompton and Alfred Sinnerton’s behaviour. She wouldn’t trust them either.

“Are you ready to go, my dear?”

“Yes, please,” Ursula declared fervently. She had no idea what the play was about because she hadn’t paid the slightest bit of attention to what had been happening on the stage. She was, however, awkwardly aware that he continued to stare at her throughout the entire play. It was a relief when she was able to leave the box and turn away from the prying eyes and leave the theatre behind.

“I don’t want to know details, but you have been intimate, haven’t you?”

Ursula gasped and stared at her aunt across the dim confines of the carriage. Her cheeks blushed guiltily butt she couldn’t deny it. Instead, she jerked her head up and down and let the tears flow.

“I am not as ignorant to what goes on as you might think,” Adelaide murmured. “I have never married purely because I haven’t found anyone within the
ton
appealing enough to want to share my life. However, I am a woman, and will admit to you now, strictly between us, that I have dallied with men on several occasions. Trenton is a handsome man. You are an impressionable young woman, entirely eligible, but someone who is new to the heady social whirl of London.” She sighed and stared out of the window for a moment. “I am partly to blame for what has happened.” She held a hand up to halt Ursula’s instinctive protest and shook her head decisively. “I trusted Trenton. I felt that he would understand just how alien this kind of life is to someone unused to the sights and sounds of London. Especially given that he is from Yorkshire too. I had heard the gossip regarding Barbarella; everyone has, but felt relatively confident that you were safe with him. I had hoped that he would introduce you to some of his acquaintances and further your quest to find a husband as per your father’s dictates. However, it appears that my trust was misplaced. He took advantage of you himself instead. Now, I cannot help but think that the gossip surrounding him and Barbarella might be true.”