Witch Weigh (A Paranormal Romantic Comedy)
Read Witch Weigh (A Paranormal Romantic Comedy) Online
Authors: Caroline Mickelson
Witch Weigh
By
Caroline Mickelson
Witch Weigh
Copyright 2012 Caroline Mickelson
Kindle Edition
Published by Bon Accord Press
All rights reserved
Cover design by Derek Murphy
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner of this book.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, place and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Dedicated with much love
to my husband Senad
who loves me every
‘witch weigh’ I am ~
Volim Te
Table Of Contents
Chapter One
“Hey, lady, anyone ever tell you you’re a real witch?”
“More times than you can imagine.” Contessa Von Hellengaard, Tessa to her few friends and many enemies alike, eyed the obstinate construction worker who blocked the path of her sleek black Mercedes.
She wondered how this mere mortal would like being turned into a fluffy skunk. Her fingers itched to work their magic, but she kept them gripped on the steering wheel. She was already in enough trouble with the Upper Hallows Witch Council without casting what they would consider another unnecessary spell. If she was detained any longer she’d be late for her meeting with said council. Tessa knew they were already ticked off enough without her adding another infraction to their precious list.
She leaned out the window. “Remove your overfed self from my way immediately. I need to use this road and I don’t have time for your ridiculous detour.”
“Guess you should’ve used your broomstick then because there ain’t no way I’m letting your car get through here.” He crossed his beefy arms over his chest.
He seemed altogether too amused with his juvenile humor for Tessa’s liking. Broomstick indeed. She revved the motor to let him know she meant business.
He couldn’t say he hadn’t been warned.
She pushed up her black lace sleeves and pointed to the orange and white barricade. “Last warning. Remove yourself and that thing from my way.”
He laughed at her. Laughed. At her.
She narrowed her eyes. This sorry excuse for a government employee was not going to make her late for her meeting. Removing him from her path, she decided, was a very necessary act indeed. She could make the council members understand. But only if she got there on time.
With the tip of her red lacquered fingernail she traced a circle in her palm, silently reciting the spell that would get her what she wanted. A small, satisfied smile tugged at her lips as the man in front of her began to levitate. She stroked her index finger sideways to help direct his ascension. His shocked expression and angry torrent of curse words bothered her not at all. He continued to fuss and kick even after he was hooked on to the high crane by the back of his overalls. At over forty feet above the ground she could barely make out his foul words.
Tessa flicked her finger across her palm with one last quick swipe and waited while the barricade went flying to the side of the road and crashed on a pile of rocks.
She waved farewell to the construction worker as she slipped her Mercedes into drive. The fool would be wise to quit struggling or he’d soon have a painful wedgie.
Silly mortal. He had no reason to panic. Someone would be along to get him down. Eventually.
***
Fifteen sinful minutes late, Tessa swung the Mercedes into a circle drive with only a minimal amount of flying gravel to announce her arrival. She grabbed her black leather satchel and eyed the occupant of the passenger seat.
“No, you may not come. I’m tired of you following me everywhere I go.” She half closed the door and then hesitated before flinging it open. “Oh, come on then. You’d better watch yourself though or you’ll end up as annoying as a dog.”
She slammed the car door as soon as Jinx, her sleek black short hair cat, jumped out and made his all too entitled way to the front door of the Tudor home where the council met. The cat was the least of her problems this morning.
Tessa sailed down the hallway. The interior was dim and over-decorated, paying homage to the Victorian style that her Aunt Trudy so loved. Much of Tessa’s childhood had been spent in this very home and she knew it, and failed to appreciate it, the same way she did her own.
She stopped in front of the heavily carved oak doors and took a steadying breath. She wanted this to go well. She needed this to go well. The Council needed to approve her application to the United Paranormal Council as a visiting scholar slash expert on silent spells. Her life was staid, boring and so predictable that even her yawns were planned. But, oh, Europe awaited her. If she could just manage to get there she’d be able to associate with the sort of sophisticated, urban witches and warlocks that she knew she was meant to. She’d happily bid a hasty farewell to the lumpy and dumpy witches she’d grown up around.
With one last flick of her auburn hair over her shoulder, Tessa pushed open the doors and stepped into the Upper Hallows Council meeting room.
The din of casual chatter stopped immediately and the gathered crones turned to her expectantly. To her immense surprise, she realized she was the tiniest bit nervous, but only because the stakes were so high. There was nothing for it but to seize the moment and take control of her own destiny.
“The door, Tessa,” her Aunt Trudy reminded her.
Well, hello to you too, you old witch, Tessa managed not to say. She kicked the door closed with her foot.
At the same moment that she opened her mouth to speak, a horrific screech filled the air.
Tessa froze.
“The cat, Tessa.” Somehow, above the commotion, she recognized her Aunt’s voice.
Jinx. Damn.
When she turned she saw she was too late to rescue her feline companion. Jinx already lay snuggled in Amelia Fairweather’s arms.
“Poor darling little kitty,” Amelia crooned, cuddling the cat even closer to her ample bosom. “You poor neglected angel.”
Tessa watched the love fest, unable to speak a single word in her own defense. She certainly hadn’t planned for the first words out of her mouth to be uttered in self-defense.
And Jinx appeared to be enjoying the attention all too much. His green eyes met hers and they held a self-satisfied gleam. Match point Jinx.
She cleared her throat. “Perhaps you could all take your seats so we can begin.” She ignored the glares the assembled witches sent her way, grateful they were casting dirty looks and not spells.
Tessa balled her hands into fists. Her hands were usually the first things to get her in trouble. They always had been. It was her curse. Like the other witches in the room, her fingers did the work of words when casting spells.
She closed her eyes for a long moment and inhaled. A brisk autumn breeze floated in through the diamond paneled windows. At least the all too staid Council allowed fresh air into the room. A miracle, considering their aversion to fresh ideas.
Jinx, the rotten little minx, meowed. A smug, taunting call to action.
Tessa dropped her satchel onto the table and cleared her throat. “Let’s call this meeting to order. I’m ready to get started.”
An elderly crone spoke to the group at large. “You see, this is exactly the problem. With her, it’s always I, I, I.” She shook her head, disapproval evident on her wrinkled face. “It proves we’ve made the right decision.”
Decision?
“But you haven’t read through my application,” Tessa protested. She glanced anxiously around the table. “It’s not fair to make a decision about this without hearing what I have to say.”
“Are you sure you want to talk to us about what’s fair?” this from the usually reticent Clarissa Goodbody. “What about that poor construction worker you left dangling from a crane?”
So they knew. Tessa clenched her jaw. Of course they did. She had no secrets in the small, interbred community. But if she could just get across the Atlantic she’d have breathing space.
“We’re getting very off topic here,” she said, neatly avoiding Clarissa’s question. “I would like to begin by--”
“We’re not getting off topic, my dear,” her Aunt Trudy interrupted. “We’re actually getting to the matter at hand. Have a seat, please.” She pointed to the only empty chair at the table.
Tessa didn’t want to sit. She wanted to talk. And not about her long list of perceived crimes either. But she did as she was bid. It seemed as if she was in enough trouble already.
Something wasn’t right. She’d attended these meetings for four years now. They were always boring. Excruciatingly so. But the atmosphere in the room today was different. It crackled with an energy that unnerved her. Something was about to change. Her instincts told her she was not going to like it either.
“Aunt Trudy, I came here today to present my application for appointment to the United Paranormal Council.”
“Yes, that is why you’ve come my dear, but that isn’t why we’re here.” Her smile was kind, almost pitying.
Tessa’s stomach turned over, her body reacting to what her mind still wasn’t grasping. Her throat was too dry to talk. She tapped her finger twice on her palm but the witch across from her shook her head.
“Let me, Tessa.” In a smooth practiced movement she waved her index finger in an intricate pattern.
A crystal goblet filled with ice water materialized in front of Tessa. She’d wanted wine. But water would do in a pinch. And if Tessa Von Hellengaard had ever felt in a pinch, it was now.
Chapter Two
“This is my next assignment?” Liam Kennedy took the proffered dossier and opened the file. A black and white photo of a striking woman looked back. He studied her face. She wasn’t smiling, and there was no laughter captured in her eyes. Aloof was probably the best word for her. She was beautiful, captivatingly so.
“And she’s a witch?” he asked.
“Of the first order, as I understand it.” His administrative assistant, Fiona, turned her attention from her laptop and pointed to the file in his hand. “It’s all in there. Everything you need to know. She’s quite a number it seems.”
Liam raised an eyebrow and held up the dossier. “You read this?”
Fiona smiled. “I have.”
“That smirk of yours tells me I have my work cut out for me.”
“Let’s just say, I think you’re the right man for the job.” She stood and grabbed her handbag from the cabinet behind her desk. “I’m off to find chocolate and coffee, in that order. Want to come with?”
Liam shook his head. “You go. I’m going to read this and then go pick up,” he paused to consult the file, “Tessa so we can get started.”
“Good luck, boss,” Fiona said just before she tapped her keychain wand and disappeared in a flutter of gold sparkles.