Witched to Death (9 page)

S
pring was in the air
. Birds were chirping. Were rabbits were mating. And Sassy and Jeeves were making out in the hammock as if Zelda and Mac weren’t sitting on the porch only a few feet away.

I was there, but none of them knew it. Ever since my time in Asscrack as a human, I’d found that when I missed them, it was easy to pop in to check up on my favorite crazy witches and Shifters.

Today they were having a barbeque. Diesel was there, working the grill. It turned out he’d bought the small cabin we’d stayed in during our long weekend and had made a habit of vacationing in Asscrack. He looked adorable in the frilly pink apron Sassy had made him wear.

“Hey Diesel,” Zelda called from her place on the porch.

He glanced over at her. “Yeah?”

“Can you put another filet on the grill? We have a last minute addition.”

“Sure.” He disappeared into the kitchen just as a copper wolf ran into the yard from the forest.

“There she is,” Zelda pointed her out to Mac. “She’s new in town. I met her at the market yesterday.”

Mac squinted, studying the new wolf. “Where’s she from?”

“Somewhere in Pennsylvania. She’s here for the spring, working on a book set here in Assjacket.”

Asscrack
, I mentally corrected her.

The wolf in question trotted around to the side of the house, and a few minutes later, a gorgeous brunette wearing a sunshine yellow sundress and flip-flops retraced the wolf’s path. She waved at Zelda and climbed the steps, holding her hand out to Mac. “Hi. You’re Mac, right?”

Zelda’s mate nodded and shook her hand. “Yep, that’s me.”

“I’m Andi. New Shifter in town. Thought I’d introduce myself, let you know I’m here, and offer my services should you need anything that’s pack related.”

He inclined his head. “Thanks. I appreciate that. Things have been quiet around here for the last few months—”

Sassy let out a shriek as she fell out of the hammock and landed on her ass. “Ohmigod, Zelda! Did you see that?”

Zelda sent her a bored look. “See what, Sassy?”

“The hammock. It’s defective. Look at it.”

Everyone turned to look at the hammock in question. The only thing out of place was Jeeves and the fact his jeans were open, exposing his yellow ducky boxers.

“Um, this is a family show,” Zelda barked. “Zip it up. And if I catch you with your pants down on my porch again, you’re banned. Got it?”

Jeeves’s face turned beet red and he nodded, mumbling an apology as he tried to haul himself out of the hammock. Instead, he tripped over the hem of his pants and joined Sassy on the porch, his ass sticking up in the air. And as an added bonus, in his clumsiness not only did he lose his trousers, but his boxers too, and we were all treated to a view of his lily white buttocks.

Sassy laughed.

Zelda scowled and covered her eyes.

Mac groaned.

Andi and I joined Sassy in her laughter.

What I wouldn’t have given to have another night out with Sassy and Jeeves at the Pink Toad.

“Hey, new girl,” Sassy said to Andi. “You got a boy toy?”

She shook her head. “Nope. I did, but when he came home with his chest waxed, I cut him loose. I can’t handle a man who’s more groomed than I am.”

“Warlock?” Zelda asked.

Andi laughed and nodded. “How did you know that?”

“Everyone knows warlocks are way too high maintenance. Selfish, too.”

“I’m right here,” Fabio said from the other side of the porch.

Zelda waved a hand at him. “Andi, meet Naked Dude… er my dad. But don’t date him. He has an unnatural fixation for his ball sack.”

That was true. He did. And I’d know considering he’d been a client of mine back in the day.

“Not anymore,” Fabio insisted. “That was when I was a cat.”

“A cat?” Andi asked, seemingly unfazed.

“He was my familiar. He spent the entire time licking his ball sack. He says he’s over it, but I find that hard to believe, considering how much time he spent in the general vicinity.”

She wasn’t wrong. The things I knew about him… And the fact that he was a warlock meant there were things he could do that others couldn’t necessarily replicate. But it’s not exactly polite to talk about such things.

Fabio let out a huff of irritation and disappeared back into the house.

The entire group fell out laughing, including Andi.

“What did you people do to Fabio?” Diesel asked as he reemerged from the house, a filet on his plate.

“Zelda was on his ass about his ball sack again,” Sassy supplied.

Diesel glanced over at her and Jeeves and then grimaced when he spotted Jeeves rearranging his junk while zipping up his pants.

The look on his face had me giggling. Gods, I missed these crazy people.

Diesel strode back over to the grill, and I floated over to him. As I neared, he stilled and lifted his head staring right at me. Or he would’ve been, if he could see me. It wasn’t the first time I had the feeling he could sense me. And honestly, it made me feel good to know we still had that connection.

But then Andi crossed the porch, a beer in her hand. And suddenly our connection was broken. Diesel turned, watching her make her way toward us. The sun illuminated her golden limbs and bounced off her beautiful copper curls.

“Hi, there handsome,” she said, grinning up at him.

“Hello, yourself.” He flashed her his easy smile.

“I hear you might be the one to talk to about getting a decent drink around here.” She held up the beer can and wrinkled her nose. “This was all I could find.”

Diesel laughed. “Sassy has a taste for light beer. Very light, very cheap beer.”

“Sassy is the bouncy blonde that’s really good at pissing off Zelda, right?”

Diesel rummaged around in the cooler at his feet and came up with a craft beer. The same we’d been drinking at the Pink Toad. “Yep. It’s Sassy’s mission in life to see how often she can get Zelda to roll her eyes.”

Andi laughed, and then snorted with amusement. So did I. She was adorable. He could do way worse.

Diesel’s lips twitched into a whisper of a smile.

“Oh, man,” she said, her face flushing. “That was embarrassing.”

He grinned and handed her the beer. “Not at all. In fact, I happen to have a soft spot for women who aren’t afraid to show their real selves.”

“Well then, Diesel, you’ve found the right girl, because I don’t know how to be any other way.”

His eyes softened as he scanned her body. Then when he met her gaze again, he gave her
the
look. That same look he used to give me.

And that’s when I knew. My time visiting Diesel had come to an end. Whether he knew it or not, he’d just found his mate.

The relaxed scene at Zelda’s house faded away, replaced by jazz music and a wedding party marching down Bourbon Street in the traditional second line. I floated in front of the café where I spent most of my time and scanned the crowd.

Among the tourists, I spotted a handsome man dressed in low slung jeans, a tight white T-shirt, and a fedora. And the best part? He was staring right at me.

Thank the gods. There was a hot new ghost in town.