Remi rescued his can of coke off the table just in time to keep them from spilling it.
“I was in here first, asshole.” Jamison grunted. “Give me back the damn remote. We aren’t watching fucking TV Land.”
“Fuck you, dick breath, no one else wants to watch NASCAR, you damn redneck,” Cortez shot back.
They rolled again, crunching chips and plowing into the rickety particleboard coffee table someone had donated to the firehouse when Remi first started working there.
“No one wants to watch
Leave it to Beaver
either, you fucking cocksucker.”
Finally, Baker turned his game off and got up. “I’m going to the grocery store for more chips, wanna come with me, Lassiter?”
Remi closed his book and stepped over the two firemen wrestling around on the floor like a couple of punks and followed Baker to the door leading into the garage. He turned back. “Hey, assholes, clean up the fucking mess. We’re going to get shit to make dinner.”
“Fuck you, Lassiter,” Jamison growled out before bursting into laughter.
Cortez soon joined him. “Hey, Remi. Get stuff to make cookies.”
Grinning, Remi flipped them both off and jogged past two more of his coworkers—Duncan and Thomas, who were straightening hoses and talking—to catch up with Baker.
Duncan hailed Remi as he went by. “Hey, Remi, y’all going to the store?”
“Yeah.”
“Get some chocolate ice cream.”
“Got it.” Remi slid into the seat and buckled his seat belt, looking out the passenger side window. The number two engine towered over the truck as they drove out. It looked like shift three had washed the big red beast yesterday. Someone needed to wash the truck too.
“Does that bother you?”
“What?” Remi glanced over at Baker. Baker was one of the two paramedics on first shift. He was also the only white man on first shift. The rest of the men were Latino or Apache.
“The gay jokes.”
Oh shit
,
had he given something away? Remi’s stomach sank. “No. Should it?”
Baker shrugged. “Just wondered since your friend is gay and all.”
How did Baker know Jake?
“The vet?”
“Oh, Chay.”
“Yeah, the animal doc. That was wild. Never would have guessed he was gay. Lots a folks were surprised.”
“Tell me about it.” Remi squirmed in his seat, trying to think of something to change the subject without being too obvious he was doing so. Sadly, his father wasn’t the only person in town who was homophobic. If anyone suspected Remi was gay… Actually, he didn’t much care what people thought so long as Dirk didn’t find out, but in this town that would be a long shot.
They pulled up in front of the grocery store, and Baker cut the engine and got out. “We should get a cart. The cupboards are bare. We can take up a collection when we get back.”
Yeah, they were, someone forgot to put the lock on their fridge and someone from second shift had eaten their leftovers from the other night. Remi got a shopping cart and shoved it toward Baker. He hated pushing the damn things. Which was why he always took Sterling shopping with him. Sterling loved to push them. Unfortunately, not only did he play on them, but he snuck things in behind Remi’s back. A small price to pay as far as Remi was concerned. “Whose turn is it to cook dinner?”
Groaning, Baker took the cart and pushed it toward the first aisle. The right front wheel wobbled, not touching the bright white floor. “Mine.”
Remi laughed and followed his coworker. The smells of different produce tickled Remi’s nose, making him have to concentrate to keep it out.
Most of the guys hated to cook, but they all took turns. Remi didn’t like to cook, but he was used to it. He had been cooking for himself and Sterling almost from the day Sterling was born. Something niggled at the back of Remi’s memory.
Sterling
was crying.
Remi could barely walk, fresh out of the hospital. Why wasn’t Mom getting the baby?
Getting up, Remi slowly made it to his parents’ room where the bassinet was.
Sterling
was red-faced and screaming his lungs out. His little fists were balled up so tight his tiny knuckles were white.
Lifting the baby up, Remi realized not only did it hurt his ribs, but the kid was sopping wet. Somehow he managed to get Sterling changed and into the kitchen.
Sterling quieted for a little bit when Remi found his pacifier, but it didn’t last long. He spit it out and started wailing again.
Remi just wanted him to shut up. He was tired and he hurt and his pain medication was making him sleepy. He found a note in the kitchen telling him his mom had gone to the store, and who the hell knew where Dirk was, probably at work.
With Sterling screaming in his ear, he had to figure out, by himself, how to make a bottle.
“Remi, you all right?” Baker asked, stopping in front of the produce area.
“What? Oh yeah, sorry. I was just thinking.”
“Yeah? What about?” Baker started pushing the cart again.
Remi picked up a head of lettuce and put it in the cart. “My little brother.” He frowned. He never thought about that period in his life. Come to think about it, he’d never really had many memories of it. That was the first time he’d remembered how he’d started feeding Sterling.
“Remi.”
Jake. Remi turned around.
Jake was coming up behind him, smiling and holding one of the blue handbaskets.
Remi smiled back and almost reached for Jake before he caught himself. “Hey, Jake.” Oh damn, Jake smelled good. Would he ever be able to be around Jake and have it not affect him? In a way, he hoped not. He loved how Jake made him feel.
“Glad I ran into you. I wanted to talk to you about something. You got a few minutes?” Jake extended his hand to Baker. “Jacob Romero.”
“Ted Baker. Nice to meet you.” Baker looked at Remi. “I’m going to go ahead and start getting stuff, catch up when you get done talking.” Baker pushed the cart off toward the next aisle.
Remi nodded. “Thanks.”
“Listen, I forgot to ask you before you rushed off today. Will you come to dinner with me at Gadget’s place tomorrow? I didn’t want to say anything in front of Matt, but Gadget wants you to meet his youngest, Eddie. He’s pretty bad off. I told Gadget not to get his hopes up, pup. So no worries if nothing happens.”
After seeing the cut on Keaton’s hand disappear, Remi wasn’t at all sure what he could and couldn’t do, but he was positive there was something to the healing. “It won’t hurt to try. I wish there was someone who knew more about it. This weird healing stuff I mean.”
“I’ll talk to Carter and see if he knows anything. The way omegas and their powers are kept secret, he may not, but—” Jake shrugged. “Who knows? You okay? You smell agitated all of a sudden.”
“Oh, just wishing I knew more about it. I wanna help the kid.”
“Remington?”
Mom? Remi turned.
His mother stood a few yards away behind a blue grocery cart. Damn, the harsh fluorescent store lighting made her wrinkles stand out. Age and life had not been kind to her. She was only fifty, but she seemed much older. Her light brown hair had recently been dyed, covering the gray, but the lines and bruises on her face couldn’t be disguised by the makeup. The haunted look in her pale green eyes never disappeared anymore. Even the slight twinkle in them when she had first seen Remi didn’t last but a second. “I thought it was you, honey. How are you?” She hugged him. “I never see you anymore, except to drop Sterling off.” Drawing back, she kissed his cheek and looked him over. Her eyes widened when she glanced past him and spotted Jake.
“Mom, this is Jake. Jake, this—”
“Karen Lassiter, Remi’s mother.” As she reached out to shake hands with Jake, Remi noticed the dark bruises around her wrist. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Jake. Sterling has told me all about you.” Frowning, she darted a glance at Remi. “Your father doesn’t…” She trailed off, biting her lip.
“Doesn’t want me hanging out with Jake, yes I know, Sterling told me.”
His mom blushed. “It’s not that, dear, it’s—”
“It’s okay, Mom, I don’t have any secrets from Jake. He knows all about Dirk.”
“Remington,” she snapped, giving him the look. The one that said she was disappointed in him.
Remi snarled before he could stop himself. He was tired of her games, tired of feeling sorry for her. Let her be disappointed. He’d kept her secret far too long. If she was embarrassed or ashamed by her husband, it was her own damn fault. How many times had he begged her to leave?
“Mrs. Lassiter—” Jake shot Remi a disbelieving look.
“No, no. It’s all right. Remington is right.” She waved Jake away and caught Remi’s hands. “I worry, is all. I—” Squeezing Remi’s hands, she averted her gaze and swallowed hard. When she looked back she was smiling, but tears rimmed her eyes.
Fuck.
Remorse gnawed at Remi. He shouldn’t feel guilty, but damn it, he hated hurting her. “Mom, I’m sorry.”
“No, you don’t need to be sorry. Listen. I have something you need. Maybe you can come by the house sometime next week? You can come inside the next time you come get Sterling, okay?”
“Okay, Mom, I’ll come in next time.” Remi kissed her cheek, feeling more like an ass. She obviously missed him and he avoided her whenever possible because she made him uncomfortable.
She kissed him back. “I love you, Remington. I know you don’t believe it, but I do.”
Remi opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out. How could he deny it?
Patting his cheek, she smiled and turned toward Jake, dabbing away a tear. “It was nice to meet you, Jake.”
“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Lassiter.” Jake hugged her and watched her walk off.
“Okay, that was weird.” Staring at her back, Remi tried to shake off the odd feeling. It was like she was trying to warn him, or was she giving him her blessing to go against Dirk’s wishes? He didn’t know, but something felt wrong. Normally, she would have pleaded with him to
behave
and not give Dirk any reason to be angry with him. “Sorry you had to see that, Jake.”
Jake touched his arm, rubbing it briefly before stepping away. “If you want to talk, you know where I’m at. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow as soon as I get off work.” Remi shook his head. Why did his mom always affect him that way? He was torn between being pissed at her and pitying her. Why didn’t he have a happy, healthy, loving damn family?
Halfway across the store, he looked over his shoulder. Jake was staring after him.
Smiling, Jake waved and mouthed the word, “Tomorrow.”
Remi nodded and grinned back. He did have a happy, loving family, just not the one he was born with.
* * *
Jake leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Matt was playing solitaire on his computer and from the sound of it Rhys was next door getting ready to leave.
Almost five o’clock.
Jake wasn’t in any hurry, he still had two hours until Remi got off work.
There were ups and downs to Remi being a fireman. Remi had a lot of time off, but the days he did work he worked twenty-four-hour shifts. That sucked. And tonight as soon as Remi got to Jake’s house they had to turn around and leave to go to Gadget’s for dinner. He wouldn’t get Remi alone until probably ten or eleven o’clock.
“I got an appointment with Caspari the day after tomorrow.”
Opening his eyes, Jake spotted Rhys leaning against his doorframe. “Couldn’t you get one sooner?”
“He’s out of town until tomorrow evening.”
“You believe that? Or you think he’s still avoiding you?”
“He’s in Kansas City, I checked it out. He didn’t seem too keen on talking to me about the case, but I reminded him of a favor he owes me.”
Jake could imagine how the conversation had gone. He grinned. Caspari didn’t stand a chance, poor fucker. “Good, I’m anxious to get something going. I met Remi’s mom yesterday.”
“Yeah?” Scratching his chin, Rhys glanced behind him at Matt, then shut the door and took a seat in front of Jake’s desk.
“Yeah. It was fucked up, man. Really fucked up. Remi seemed resentful of her.”
“Can you blame him?”
Jake thought about it for a moment. He supposed he could understand it, it just wasn’t what he’d expected. Remi was the protective type. He bent over backward to keep Sterling safe. Hell, he had fussed over their pack the night of the challenge. Jake shrugged. “Guess I was surprised. He’s normally pretty understanding, good at empathizing with people. He’s got a big heart.”
“Yeah, he does. But he also doesn’t seem the type to stick his neck out for someone over and over when they won’t help themselves.”
That was true. Funny, but now Jake could see Remi protected and cared for people because he wanted to, not because he felt like he had to. He’d sat in Rhys’ office yesterday upset because he couldn’t remember more. Because he wanted to help, he wanted Dirk gone. Remi hated what his father had done, he hated his father, but Remi hadn’t let it ruin his life. He’d done what he had to cope and he didn’t feel sorry for himself and he hadn’t let it destroy who he was. More to the point, he’d raised a well-adjusted kid despite his parents, a kid who wasn’t even his responsibility. “Yeah he is. You think he’ll be able to help Eddie?”