With Everything I Am (30 page)

What was more fascinating was Callum’s intense interest in all of it. Sonia had the sense that he didn’t rule with a heavy hand but he certainly liked to have his finger on the pulse of absolutely everything. He was interested in what his people were doing, making sure that they were living peaceful, prosperous lives and he took his role as their leader very seriously.

Callum interrupted the proceedings only once, to guide Sonia upstairs with his hand firm in hers in order to take her to the bathroom to administer her injection. And this he did with now practiced ease, quickly but, as usual, she emerged from the burn snug in the circle of his arms and, if Sonia still had her scales, this would definitely be on the good side.

Regan left with a hearty good-bye and warm smile to Sonia.

Julianna who had, when she was not serving them, to Sonia’s disgust, sat completely quiet in
Saint’s
lap, left with Saint on a quiet farewell and a shy smile at Sonia.

The night wore on, Sonia sitting in Callum’s lap, Callum seeming not to know she was there but doing things intermittently and unconsciously that made that damnable throb ache. Like fiddling with the charm on her claiming chain or occasionally drawing lazy circles with the tips of his long fingers at her hip.

Finally, when another man arrived (his name was Bodim), carrying large, scrolled up pieces of papers which, she saw when he spread them out on her table, were maps of the Western Territories with lots of markings on them, Callum’s attention turned back to her.

Mouth again at her ear and voice lowered, he ordered, “Go to bed, little one.”

His ordering her to go to bed, she thought, was bad.

Escape, she knew, was good.

She instantly made a move to slip off his lap but his hand tightened, stalling her progress.

His voice a barely audible murmur, he went on to command, “Don’t wear anything to bed. I want you naked when I join you.”

She pressed her lips together, ignored the pulse that shot from the juncture of her legs straight to her nipples and met the sexy serious look in his eyes (or seriously sexy look, she still didn’t know which).

Without a word, Sonia slid from his lap and called her goodnights then she went upstairs and did exactly what
she
wanted to do.

This was investigating her catalogues and trawling the internet to find Regan’s gift. She couldn’t buy Regan a gift with Regan actually there, but she needed to buy Regan a gift. It was, indeed, Christmas and Regan was her mother-in-law.

She got distracted while online shopping for Regan and swerved down the road of shopping for Callum. She told herself this was because it was her queenly duty to buy her king Christmas gifts. But it really wasn’t. He looked good in clothes and she found she enjoyed buying them for him. So much so, she searched for evidence of his size (and found his clothes hung in her closet, his toiletries put tidily away in her bathroom and noted Julianna had been busy) and in the end maybe went a bit overboard.

She eventually finished buying presents for all the new entries on her Christmas List, even Julianna and Diana, both of whom she found she liked tremendously, though she couldn’t quite say why. She wrapped the ones she purchased for Callum’s family that day and headed to bed.

She put on her nightgown and left on her panties, defying Callum’s order to be naked. Firstly, because she didn’t like sleeping naked, though she didn’t mind it last night. Then again, she slept the sleep of abandoned contentment. Secondly, because she may be his queen and her duties may be extensive but he gosh darn couldn’t tell her what to wear, especially not to bed. No, strike that, he couldn’t tell her what to wear
anytime
.

She finished lotioning and oiling her face, feet, hands and cuticles. And, with the hum of deep, male voices plotting in her dining room (something Sonia vaguely recognized that was tremendously weird but she had had a lot of weird recently and now it didn’t even penetrate), Sonia switched off her light. She cuddled her stuffed wolf and stared at her tree.

And she came to the realization, as the hum of voices and the twinkling of the lights lulled away her panic (and expectation), that she’d drifted through her thirty-seven years of life in a fog.

Losing her parents so young, knowing in an integral way she was more than a little bit strange and, if people knew the things she could do, they might even fear her, Sonia had never thought to dream.

Considering she had to hide her gifts from everyone, she never fantasized about who her husband would be, what their life would be like, how many children she’d have, because how would she go about living that kind of lie?

Therefore, she never considered living with another person and deciding who would do the cooking and who would take out the trash. She never thought about how she and her partner would argue and how they would make up. Where they’d go on vacation. If she’d get impatient with him watching too many sports on TV and if he’d get impatient because it took her too long to get ready. She never pictured a time when, together, they brought out the boxes of Christmas decorations and littered the house with them. Year by year adding precious memories, purchasing new ornaments to put on their tree and sharing moments that would be cherished.

She’d bought her white-picket fence farmhouse knowing she’d be the only one living in it and shrouding her disappointment that she was fated to live her life alone.

But now, she thought sleepily, having dreamed of Callum so long (an indication of her destiny before she even knew it was her destiny), she realized she
did
have fantasies of what her life would be like. They were as unobtainable as her dream Callum was (she thought then and she still did). But the feelings she had with Callum in those dreams,
that
was what she would have wanted to nurture in her real life, if it had been possible.

Not this.

Never this.

She took in a breath and let it out in one long, sad sigh, closed her eyes, clutched her wolf close and fell asleep.

* * * * *

She awoke with Callum’s mouth between her legs over her panties, the urge already upon her, overwhelming her, wresting away her control.

She fought it with her mind but, even as she did, her hips pressed up to meet his mouth as she emitted a low whimper and the throb between her legs started to devour her.

Callum’s mouth lifted away but his finger replaced it, drifting light as a feather against the fabric of her panties, causing a sensual torment.

“I thought I told you to go to bed naked,” Callum’s deep voice vibrated between her legs and she whimpered again. Her hands going to his hair to press him back. Her hips pushing against the light touch of his finger. Her nipples, already hard, straining against the fabric of her nightgown causing such pleasure, it was torture.

“You defy me?” he asked, still denying her his mouth.

“Callum,” she whispered.

“Answer me,” he commanded and she pressed up again, seeking his mouth, keeping her silence, the Sonia she knew trying to beat back the Sonia that he created.

And failing.

He shifted her underwear aside and two fingers penetrated her, not gently, brutally, and she moaned at the beauty of it, needing it, wanting it, having throbbed for it all day.

“Answer me, Sonia,” he demanded.

“I…” she whimpered and for a brief moment the Sonia she’d been her whole life surfaced, breaking through the urge. “You can’t tell me what to wear.”

His fingers slid out then they thrust back in and she moaned, the urge rushed back, stronger than before and she lifted her hips to meet them.

“My queen likes to play rough,” he growled, sounding pleased.

“No, I –” she began but his fingers pulled out and hooked at the gusset of her panties. With a vicious wrench, the fabric tore in several places and the panties were gone.

She gasped but his big hands slid along her inner thighs, gripping her behind her knees, lifting them to fully bent and spreading her legs wide, boldly exposing her.

Sonia felt vulnerable for a moment before his mouth came down on her and all feelings evaporated except the exquisite pulse accelerating between her legs.

He wasn’t gentle with his mouth either. He was hungry, insatiable, feeding on her with his lips, his tongue, even his teeth, causing Sonia to lose any hold she had left on her true self as her body forced her to give into the urge.

She was panting, rocking her hips against his mouth, spreading her legs ever wider to give him access. Greedy for him, for what he could make her feel, reaching out and embracing the creature he could make her be. The creature, something buried inside her told her, she was
meant
to be.

She slid close to the edge, no longer scared of the enormity of it, ready to let it take her,
needing
for it to consume her so she could exist in her skin the way she was intended to. The way she only did in these times with Callum. She cried out and, the instant she did, his mouth disappeared and she was yanked from the edge.

“Callum!” she exclaimed her protest but he wasn’t leaving her.

He was over her, his weight settling into her and she gloried in it. Feeling the promise of him a scant second before he reared his hips back and impaled her, fucking her like she loved it, slamming into her violently, filling her full, again and again and again.

His mouth captured hers and he gave her a devouring kiss, his tongue invading as his shaft drove mercilessly into her.

She wrapped her limbs around him and lifted her hips to meet his. Welcoming him. Taking him all the way in and loving the feel of him filling her full so much, she moaned recklessly against his tongue.

He pulled out and flipped her to her belly, yanking her up to her knees.

“Yes,” she gasped.

This was it. This was right. This was who she was. This was who
they
were, Sonia and Callum.

Perfect.

Positioning himself between her legs, Callum leaned forward and gripped her hair, using it to yank her up to her hands.

She felt it then, the sensation that this was
exactly
Sonia. The Sonia she was supposed to be, in front of Callum on her hands and knees.

She held her breath and felt her thighs quiver in sweet anticipation, arching her back, tilting her behind, offering her sex to him brazenly.

He accepted her invitation and seated himself to the root as he yanked her hair back, arching her neck. But he needn’t have done it for she threw her head back at the splendor of him.

Then he did it again.

And again.

And again.

She reared into his hips, greeting every plunge, feeling finally whole, finally right when she took him all.

The tension built and built until her blood was boiling. Until she felt she was going to come out of her skin. Until she cried out to her wolf and exploded in sheer bliss. Through her climax she felt him impale her one last time and heard, as if from far away, the depth of his answering groan.

Just as last night, after, he rocked inside her, his shaft stroking her sex gently as his fingers drifted over the skin of her bottom, the small of her back, hooking her chain and tugging until it caught on her hips. This action of Callum’s, last night and just then, she felt was profound. The reminder of the chain that signified she was finally his, just as she was always destined to be.

He twisted it so the links slid around her waist, the lightest of sensations making her shiver against him.

Then, his strokes coming slower and slower, finally he started to pull away.

“No,” she whispered, pressing her hips back.

He stilled, thankfully still hard and staying inside. She’d never known a man to stay rock-hard that long afterwards.

“Baby doll?” he called.

She answered his call, using her mouth and her hips, still pressing into him, explaining her need. “I don’t want to lose you.”

He glided out and then back in one last time while murmuring, “My little one.”

Then his hips forced her off her knees and her legs, of their own accord, opened wide so he could settle between them, his body both surrounding her and filling her deep.

His fingers moved the hair away from her face before he rested some his weight into his forearms in the bed at her sides, the rest of it settled into her.

She loved how big he was, his body, his shaft, how it surrounded her, filled her, became her whole world. It melted away her ever-present loneliness, making her feel, with Callum encasing her in his frame, filling her so deep, she’d never be lonesome again.

She tipped her bottom up into his groin, non-verbal indication of the intensity of her thoughts.

He pressed in deeper, giving her more of what she was seeking, filling her even fuller.

“You like this,” he said softly in her ear.

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. There was an element of surprise but the low rumble of his voice revealed the depth of his approval.

Sonia didn’t answer.

He pushed in further and she sighed contentedly.

She felt his smile against her ear.

“I like it too,” he whispered. “It’s everything we are.” He slid out a bare inch then settled back in. “The connection, our connection, so fucking strong.” There was a depth in his voice that slithered lazily through her system and then settled there in a way that felt like forever. He went on, “And it’s everything I am to you.” His arms moved in tighter at her sides. “Your protector,” he ran his lips around the curve of her ear and she trembled underneath him before he murmured, “lift your ass for me, little one, I want to go deep,” without hesitation, Sonia did as she was told and Callum did what he wanted, muttering, “and I’m also your possessor.”

She shivered in delight at this last and his arms tightened all the more.

Her arms were cocked and under her body, pinned to the bed, but she reached out a hand, laced her fingers in his and tilted her head until her nose was resting against their hands.

She tipped her hips up again and mumbled, “For me, wolf, I just like to be full of you. It makes me feel whole. It, finally, makes me feel right.”