With Everything I Am (50 page)

She was probably telling the truth.

Just not all of it.

He walked to her and when he arrived she slid her arms around his middle and leaned her body into his, tilting her head far back to look up at him.

It struck him then that she did this a great deal recently.
Effortlessly putting her arms around him, leaning her weight into him.
Before, her hugs and moments of affection were rare and when they came seemed, compared to the recent ones, uncomfortable.

Now they were relaxed and natural and Callum preferred them greatly.

He returned the favor, wrapping her in his arms, pulling her deep in his body and dipping his chin to look down at her.

“All right, Sonia, now what’s
really
on your mind?” he asked.

“I told you,” she fibbed.

“You weren’t standing at the window twisting my rings for the fuck of it,” he informed her, his voice meticulously even and calm, that unease he felt was still acute.

She scanned his face. Then she sighed. It wasn’t the fluttering sigh that he loved. It was a frustrated sigh.

He knew this by the sound but he also knew it by the irate flash in her green eyes.

“You’re too perceptive,” she muttered, her voice just as irate then she informed him of the obvious, “It’s annoying.”
 

He preferred his topic of conversation so he gave her a gentle squeeze and said warningly, “Sonia…”

“Oh all right,” she breathed out, her frustration still clear and then suddenly her eyes left his and she looked at his shoulder a moment before they came back. “Okay, Callum, what I was thinking was…” She hesitated a moment before stating, “And you can say no because, well, I’m sensing you’re not big on human stuff and, well, this is
definitely
human. Obviously I wouldn’t dream of asking you to go whole hog or anything because considering, even for my Christmas party, you wore cords and a nice sweater…” She paused and went off tangent, “Though, the boots you wore were really nice that night. I liked them. You should wear –”

He couldn’t help it. He started chuckling and gave her another squeeze, cutting her off by saying, “Honey, your point?”

Her eyes got big a
moment,
she pulled in breath and whispered, “Right.” Then she went on swiftly, “What I was saying was, you don’t have to do the big thing for me, you know, even though, outside your sixteenth birthday, it’s the most important day in a girl’s life. But I wouldn’t ask you to wear the tuxedo and get a photographer and all that formal stuff but can I…” She looked at him, her eyes filled with discomfited yearning. “Would you mind if…?” She hesitated yet again and then forced out the words, “I know it isn’t the done thing but, at our Mating, can I at least wear a pretty, white dress?”

He stared at her a second, thrown, because he had no fucking clue what she was on about. At Matings wolves would dress up but dressing up for wolves was just wearing nicer but still casual clothes.

Then, unusually slowly, it hit him.
Her twisting her wedding rings, talking of tuxedos and formalities and the most important day of a girl’s life.

Fuck, she was talking about a human wedding.

Which, being his mate, she’d never get.

But, being his human wife, she would want.

And she
wanted
it and her wanting it meant she wanted
him
.

That unease sifted away leaving Callum feeling only the soft warmth of her body pressed to his and her arms around him.

“Baby doll –” he started.

“You can say no,” she blurted. “It’s probably a stupid idea. Your people will think…” Her eyes got big again and she said, “Oh no, would they be offended?”

One of his hands traveled up her back and tangled in her hair as his face got closer to hers. “No, they wouldn’t be offended. Wear whatever you want.”

He saw excitement light in her eyes for a second before it extinguished. “Will I look stupid?”

Callum grinned, pulling her tighter to him. “Impossible.”

“I don’t want them to think I’m holding on… I mean, I don’t want them to think I don’t take my responsibility –”

He cut her off. “They’ll think you’re proud of who you are and proud of who you’re bound to,
both
of which my people will find honorable.”

The excitement came back in a flash.

“Really?” she whispered.

“Yes,” he answered.

“Seriously?” she pressed both verbally and by pushing closer to his frame.

Callum bit back laughter at her adorable, earnest look but he didn’t manage it entirely and still said through chuckling, “Yes, little one.”

She gazed at him as if looking for evidence of dishonesty.

Then her weight sagged into him, she put her cheek to his chest and she gave him a squeeze. “Good.”

He kissed the top of her head, enjoying the far different feeling he had now rather than the one he had when he first stood in the door to this room.

It was more than her embrace. It was more than the knowledge that she yearned to be tied to him through his rings, bearing his father’s name, adhering to the traditions of her people.

It was enjoying giving her something she very much desired.

Which meant what he had to do next hurt like a bitch.

“It’s past time for your injection.”

He felt her body tighten in his arms before she forced it to relax and he was glad he couldn’t see her eyes.

“I know,” she replied.

“Let’s go, baby doll.”

She nodded, her cheek sliding against his chest. She pulled
away,
he took her hand and guided her to their bathroom.

* * * * *

Callum shifted in his seat behind his desk and lifted his hand to his forehead pressing away the tension that formed there after the reminder of the injection.

Last week, he’d taken her to Aberdeen to visit the “specialist” who simply decreed that what Dr. Mortenson said about tolerance for the drug and life changes were to blame for her “turn”. He explained (three times) that there were no other treatments. He took more blood which, again, came back normal. And he suggested they titrate off the morning dose, injecting half for a few days then stopping altogether.

“Let’s hope that works,” he said on a distracted doctorly smile while simultaneously writing notes.

Callum had wanted to break his jaw for it
not
working meant unendurable pain for his mate
which
was what, through gritted teeth, he’d informed the doctor after he’d tersely called the man’s attention back to his patient and her husband.

“You know what to do now. Just give her another dose if she becomes symptomatic and go back to twice daily injections,” the doctor had replied calmly in the face of Callum’s controlled fury.

It was then Sonia had squeezed his hand and Callum made the decision not to throw the doctor out the window which was the decision he’d made the instant before she’d squeezed his hand.

Luckily, the titrating had worked and Sonia hadn’t become symptomatic.

Then again, if it was stress and life changes that had affected the efficacy of the drug, she was settling in and hopefully they wouldn’t have another “turn”.

Callum heard Ryon approaching and his mind moved directly to what filled it any time it wasn’t filled with Sonia’s smile, her affection, her laughter, her kindness, her humor, her sweet little body and how it responded to him, her deepening connection to him and his family and her fucking injection.

Where his mind moved also wasn’t to his duty as king.

It went to the fact that every day he didn’t tell her his secret, their life was becoming a lie.

Ryon came in on a smile and closed the door.

Since discovering Sonia had had her abilities her entire life, long enough for her father to explain she should hide them, they no longer held suspicions against the vampires.

However, they were also all aware that Sonia’s abilities rivaled theirs and clearly Ryon closing the heavy door meant there was something he wanted muted should Sonia be in hearing distance.

He approached Callum’s desk and sat opposite, declaring, “All is in place for tomorrow.”

Callum’s mouth got tight.

Ryon still felt Sonia needed time with the wolves and was against Callum telling her. They’d had words about it. Callum disagreed and decided he’d bloody well tell her when the right time arose.

Unfortunately that hadn’t happened and tomorrow hundreds of wolves would be celebrating in the streets.

Shit happened.
Especially with wolves.

Therefore, like Drogan, Maraleena and Callista, his Royal Guard had been warned by Ryon that Sonia was to be protected from witnessing any transformation or talk of werewolves and tomorrow everywhere she went she would be with him, his family or under escort of his Guard.

“I don’t like this,” Callum told his cousin. “I’ll find time to tell her tonight.”

“You should wait until after tomorrow,” Ryon differed. “She’ll enjoy tomorrow. She’ll see the true wolf nature. You need to give her more time.”

Callum watched his cousin, again questioning his motives when it came to Callum’s mate.

“What makes you think she needs more time?” Callum asked.

Ryon grinned. “Call it instinct.”

Callum didn’t find anything amusing.

“Have you not noticed the change in her?” he queried.

Ryon’s expression turned serious and he shared, “Yes, Cal, I have and I don’t fucking trust it.”

Callum felt his blood run cold.
“And why the fuck not?”

Ryon shook his head and his eyes went vague as did his tone when he said, “I can’t put my finger on it but I feel she’s holding back.”

It was then Callum’s hands clenched into fists.

First, if Sonia was holding anything back then the true Sonia would be beyond perfection which was impossible.

Second, because his cousin was still clearly keeping a close eye on his mate and he didn’t like it.

And last, because it felt like Ryon was trying to make Callum doubt his
wife.

“I think,” Callum said calmly and evenly, a tone that Ryon knew and it caught his immediate attention therefore his distracted gaze cleared and focused on Callum, “that perhaps you should stop worrying about my mate so fucking much.”

“Cal –”

Callum leaned forward and said deceptively softly, “She’s
my
mate, Ry.
Mine.
”

“Cal –”

“Leave it,” Callum warned and Ryon leaned forward as well.

“Have you been talking to her as I told you to?”

“Leave it.”

“Cal, have you?”

“Yes, I fucking have. Now,
fucking leave it!
” Callum bit out.

Ryon scowled at him then sat back. Callum watched the muscle work in his cousin’s jaw for long moments before Ryon spoke again.

“You should know. I’ve given a vial of her medicine to a friend of mine who knows someone who can analyze it.”

Callum sat back too. “I thought we’d covered this. She’s had her abilities since birth.”

“I know. It doesn’t hurt to check though,” Ryon returned.

Callum stared at him before asking, “What are you thinking?”

“Well,” Ryon replied, still aggravated but, Callum sensed, not because of their earlier exchange of words. “I’ve had my fair share of experience with humans. I’ve never run across anything like her abilities.”

“Yes, we’ve had this conversation before.”

“It’s unusual.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Ry –”

“You don’t protect a life-threatening condition behind nearly unhackable passwords, Cal. Something’s wrong here. I don’t like it and I haven’t had time to give it my full attention.”

Callum sighed. “You do if she’s destined queen to a secret society and that knowledge in the wrong hands would make her vulnerable. She’s had her gifts since birth, her father knew about them for fuck’s sake. She and I have talked about it. Her father likely made some explanation to her doctor. Gregor nearly came out of his skin when he’d heard she’d had a turn and he’s not a male prone to showing his reactions. My instincts tell me his reaction was not because of some nefarious plot but because the thought of her in pain hurt
him
. Lassiter probably told him about her gifts as well but even if he didn’t, he’s a vampire who’s lived with Sonia for years. He’d notice it. It took me a bloody week. If Lassiter didn’t tell Gregor, it probably took him about as long as it took me. What she can do is unusual for a human but she’s amongst those who’ll accept her now. It’s fine.
She’s
fine. Let it go.”

At that, Ryon uncharacteristically lost patience and clipped, “Just let me do my fucking job, all right?”

Callum studied his cousin. He’d known him a long time and Ryon’s instincts were as sharp as Callum’s.

And what would it hurt?

Therefore, he gave in, “All right, Ry, if you feel so strongly about it, do your job.”

It was then, both their heads cocked as they sensed Sonia’s approach.

Ryon’s eyes locked on Callum and he whispered in a voice so low Sonia wouldn’t hear but also that strangely sounded like a warning, “She’s in love with you, you know. She has been for years.”

Callum simply smiled because he knew and that was exactly why Sonia Arlington-McDonagh was absolutely, fucking perfect.

Therefore, he replied with contented, kingly arrogance, “I know.”

Ryon regarded him closely, communicating something Callum didn’t understand.

He also didn’t care.

His mind, again, turned to his mate.

There was a short, soft knock on the door before she stuck her head in.

“Am I interrupting anything?”

“Come in, baby doll,” Callum called and she came through the door still wearing nothing but her robe and socks, her hair back in that pretty, pink band.

He wondered as he watched her walk gracefully toward him, what she had on under the robe.

He hoped it was just his chain.

He turned his chair to her, she sat in his lap and as he twisted to the desk, she looked to Ryon.

“Hey cuz,” she greeted on a smile.

“Hey cuz,” Ryon smiled back, either over it or hiding his earlier intensity.