With Everything I Am (65 page)

He had a number of things on his mind, chiefly the unpleasant business of the trial and further, what Sonia’s reaction would be to it. Not to mention their Mating which was scheduled for the next day, his secret plans and what Sonia’s reaction would be to that, something, he hoped, which would be far more pleasant for the both of them.

“Why is it that you think you can say we’re not talking about something and then we’re not going to talk about it?” she asked crossly and he glanced from the road to her to see her glaring out the windscreen.

“Because we can talk about it later,” he replied, not even knowing what “this” was and looking back to the road. “Now, it’s important I explain what’s going to happen at the trial so you’ll be prepared.”

Callum felt the air in the cab get tense and he reached out a hand to grasp hers in a warm grip, pulling it to his thigh and stroking her fingers with his thumb.

“That bad?” she queried softly, her fingers curling strong around his.

“To you, likely,” Callum told her honestly then explained. “Our way of justice is not your way, little one. Wolves have very few rules, very few laws. We live and let live. Therefore, breaking one is treated harshly so others will be deterred from doing the same.”

Sonia gave herself a moment to process this before she asked, “Are there attorneys?
Solicitors?
Will he have a chance to have his say?”

“He’ll be allowed to speak,” Callum answered. “They all will.”

Sonia was silent another moment, he glanced at her again before looking back to the road and saw that she was no longer angry but looked reflective.

Then she asked, “What does harsh mean?”

This was the part Callum wasn’t looking forward to, making his judgment, casting his sentence and having Sonia hear it. He knew she wouldn’t like it. He also knew, no matter how cunning and playful she could get, she would not be attending the executions. They were gruesome, even by a wolf’s standards. A human, especially a human like Sonia, wouldn’t be able to endure them.

“He committed treason, baby doll,” Callum reminded her quietly and he felt the air in the cab grow tenser and her eyes turn to him.

“It’s my experience that there are wolves
who
can be hot-headed, Cal, and he’s a father. It’s clear he was blinded to his daughter’s illness by fatherly love and, although wrong, it’s understandable. Perhaps, since it happened, he’s had time to reflect.”

“He challenged me and, in doing so, injured my queen,” Callum pointed out then concluded. “Who is, incidentally, also
his
queen.
”

“But what if he’s –?” she began but he squeezed her hand and glanced at her again before turning his eyes back to the road.

“I am rarely challenged except during a rebellion or skirmish, little one,” he told her gently. “One reason for that is I cannot be bested. This is not a boast. This is the truth. The other reason is, if it’s done, the punishment is harsh. I do not have time for this. You’ve worked beside me now for weeks. You know my duties are onerous. We’re having our
Mating
tomorrow. My attention being on this and away from other, more important matters has a ripple effect throughout the kingdom. If a statement wasn’t made, anyone who was angry at a decision I’d handed down or simply drunk and acting stupid could think they could try their hand at besting the king. I could be spending all my time on the steps of Canis, engaged in challenges. This is one of the reasons why any ruler, any government, must deal with situations such as these harshly.”

“Okay,” she replied slowly, “so what does harsh mean?”

“What is the usual punishment for treason, baby doll?” he returned quietly and heard her pull in a swift, sharp breath.

She knew what it was.

Then she noted, “I thought wolves were immortal.”

Cautiously, he explained, “If you sever our heads from our
bodies, that
is something we cannot survive.”

To this he received another swift intake of breath.

Then she began, “Callum –”

He cut her off to tell her something she had to know. “I do not relish this any more than you do, Sonia.”

“I know that!” she cried, her voice suddenly rising. “But this isn’t a drunken wolf, trying his hand at besting you like it was a Wild West gun slinging faceoff,
may
the fastest draw win and the winner gets nothing but the opportunity to brag. Family is all important to wolves, you’ve said that to me yourself
dozens of times.
He was defending his daughter. Yes, it was misguided but that doesn’t negate the fact that was what he was doing and I think, somewhere deep, you understand why he did it. And loyalty has to be almost as important, which was what Titium’s wolves showed to him and yet they, too, will receive this punishment?
The end of their lives for doing nothing but standing there and being loyal?”

Callum felt his temper again start to rise. “I told you we would not speak of this again but it seems you’ve forgotten he hurt you. The fact he did it at all is unforgiveable but he did it
in front of me.
You were in harm’s way, he knew it and he still acted and that, my queen, is indefensible
.
” He gave her hand another squeeze. “I cannot let it stand.”

“Then don’t let it stand, Cal,” she returned swiftly. “You’re right. He did wrong and caused harm in the process. But I will point out, you were in a mood when you met him on the steps of Canis and that mood was not the mood to sit down like men with honor I, at least, know
you
are, and talk things out. I know I’m your mate and protecting me is serious business for you wolves but I don’t want you to be upset when I say that it really is
me
who gets to forgive or not forgive that he hurt me and I forgive him, Cal.” She paused a moment before she told him quietly. “It was an accident. He surrendered immediately after he saw he harmed me. He knew he did wrong and felt badly about it so perhaps you can think of another punishment that’s less…” she paused and finished, “
final.
”

Callum felt his temper rise further. “Are you suggesting, little one, that
I
was partly at fault for what happened?”

“I’m not suggesting anything,” she retorted. “I’m saying that maybe then and now there’s another way to go about things and perhaps, before you do something that cannot be undone, you may want to reflect on both.”

Callum drew in a long breath to calm his anger before he replied firmly and with finality, “This is the wolves’ custom, Sonia.”

She fell silent and Callum drove, still angry and part of this had to do with the fact that Sonia riled him up prior to one of the few loathsome duties he had as king of the werewolves. By now, she should know better but apparently she did not.

Every moment of every day he was aware that his time with her was short and just as aware that she didn’t know it. He very much wanted to explain yet again that in times like these, he needed her support, not a confrontation. However, it was highly likely (he hoped) that in her short life, she wouldn’t need to endure another time like this so he decided to let it, and the inevitable argument it would cause, go.

He drove up the winding, ill-kept road, through the wood and turned right, driving through the thick trees. He heard another swift intake of breath when the trees suddenly cleared and there it was.

The Lodge, a huge, circular building with a large, paved car park around it and beyond it on either side, two four story parking structures.
It was made of reddish, gold-brown Canis stone, had ten of his royal pennants flying from its crenelated roof and it looked like a human’s sporting arena, albeit small but, with the stone and crenellations, more imposing. The inside held stands, also like a human’s stadium, in a circle facing down to the pitch. Although small by human standards, it could hold ten thousand wolves.

That day, considering the vehicles parked around, he reckoned it would be half
full,
something else that grated on Callum’s frayed nerves.

This was expected, considering the hills were full to celebrate The Royal Mating and therefore he’d planned for it, his Guard being there to keep order as well as several detachments of soldiers.

It wasn’t that Callum expected anyone to disagree with his judgment. It was that wolves could be vengeful and, thus, bloodthirsty. They loved Sonia. They expected the verdict he was about to give, he had little doubt they would rejoice in it and, with wolves, that could easily get out of hand. Further, Sonia might find this at best, distasteful, at worst, repugnant.

Callum, on the other hand, did not rejoice in giving the order to bring about the end of lives. It was a weight on his soul that only Sonia had the ability to alleviate but, again, he held the bitter knowledge that his mate would not always be there to provide this succor to him.

With this heavy on his mind, he drove around the curving entrance that led to the doors closest to where the royal dais would be set inside as Sonia noted, “This place is amazing.”

“The Lodge, little one,” he muttered distractedly, putting the SUV in park and switching off the ignition, still muttering. “Games are played here. Official business is conducted here. As you know, our Mating will be here tomorrow. And, last, trials are held here.”

“Cal,” she called.

“Mm?” he murmured, his hand on the door handle, his mind on what was imminent.

“My handsome wolf, please look at me,” she requested softly, her endearment slid through him like silk, he twisted his body and his eyes moved to hers.

Then his gut clenched at the gentle expression on her face, an expression filled with love and understanding.

She leaned forward and placed her hand against the side of his head, running her thumb along his eyebrow, down his cheekbone and over his lower lip as her pretty green eyes watched.

All right, so maybe she did support him just, as ever, in her way.

Her gaze moved to his.

“I have not been a good queen this morning,” she admitted quietly.

“Baby doll –” Callum started, leaning toward her but she leaned further into him and pressed her thumb against his lips.

“Can I finish?” she asked and he held her eyes but nodded.

She pulled in a soft breath then whispered, “Tradition is a beautiful thing.”

Callum felt his jaw tighten but he said nothing.

She continued, “But, my wolf, compassion is often mistaken for weakness when the fact is, there is very little that is more powerful than the courage it takes to give it. The one thing I know that’s even more powerful is the courage it takes to forge your own path, make your own mark and in doing so, make change. Leaders who follow are never remembered because they aren’t actually leaders. Leaders who are trailblazers, who lead their people to better horizons, who do that with strength, wisdom
and
compassion are revered. You must do what you must do in there, as king to your people and as mate to me. But the reason you find it so difficult to show mercy is because it’s difficult to be merciful.” She leaned closer and her voice dropped softer, lower,
sweeter
as her eyes held his. “And the last thing I know,
my
handsome wolf is the strongest werewolf there is and this is not only because he is a great warrior. I saw him write letter after letter to the families of those who had fallen so I know it’s also because he’s compassionate. He can do anything and he can do it not just with his claws and his teeth.”

After that, she leaned in, swept her thumb away so she could touch her lips to his then she sat back in her seat, her eyes on him,
her
smile small and gentle, and waited for him to exit the truck and open her door for her.

Callum drew in another breath as her words settled in his mind, his gut and around his heart.

Then he turned to his door, his lips twitching because his little queen had demonstrated yet again one of the myriad of ways she was absolutely, fucking
perfect.

She proved this further when he helped her out of the cab and she walked silently at his side, shoulders straight, head held high, tipping her chin up and giving a small smile to Ryon, Calder and Caleb who were standing outside the door waiting for them. She held his hand fast as he tucked it to the side of his chest, keeping her close as they walked through the doors Calder and Caleb opened and into The Lodge.

Half his Guard was lined up inside. They fell into step in front of Callum and Sonia, Ry, Calder and Caleb moving in behind and Callum led his mate to the dais.

Looking around, he saw he was correct. The Lodge was half full and there was a low din of conversation. As his Guard moved and it became clear the King and Queen were in attendance, the din quieted and Callum pulled his mate closer to offer her reassurance as he felt thousands of eyes move to them.

She clutched his hand and walked at his side, their bodies brushing as he moved her up the steps. As per custom, those in their seats kept them because there wasn’t enough room to take a knee in the stands but the accused and the soldiers standing at the foot of the dais all dropped into the heads bent ceremonial bow.

Callum seated himself on the throne. Sonia moved of her own accord into his lap, her face, carefully blank, was turned to the men in front of them.

Callum waited until Ryon, Calder and Caleb situated themselves to the left and right of his throne and his Guard lined the steps of the dais before he called his order in a loud, deep voice, “All but the accused, rise.”

The soldiers moved to their feet, Titium and his men kept their heads bowed.

“Titium, you and your men keep your knee but face me,” Callum commanded, his voice ringing out in the silent, huge space helped by microphones situated at the foot of the dais.

He watched as Titium and his men lifted up from their hand in the pitch and faced him on their knee.

“For official purposes,” Callum continued, dipping his head to a small table off to the side where a she-wolf sat, her fingers moving on the keyboard of a laptop to record the proceedings, “even though what you’ve done has spread far, I must proclaim the charges against you.”