With This Kiss (21 page)

Beyond frustrated with his brother for running from them all when he should have confided in them instead, but unable to deal with Stu until he finally decided to reappear in their lives, Sean lashed out at Rebecca, instead.

“So you’re saying you think it’s okay for everyone else to give up their secrets to you without having to share yours with anyone else?”

Anger took the place of horrified as she whirled back toward him, her long hair flying behind her as she poked her index finger hard into his chest.

“You accused of me of hiding from the truth when I was dating a married man, but you did the same thing with Stu. How could you have missed the signs? You’re Stu’s brother; you’ve known him your whole life. You should know him far better than I do. He was afraid to tell
your parents about his true feelings. He told me it would break them, though he wouldn’t tell me why. But why is he so scared of you? Why do you make sure everyone is afraid of you? Why don’t you let anyone get close to you? I see the way you barely say a word to your mother. I see how hurt she is when you keep pushing her away. Your father, too.”

They were hard truths. Each and every one of them.

For all that he wanted to tell himself he didn’t know about Stu, was that really true? Wasn’t it more that Sean had been so caught up in his own life and business and doing anything he could to stay away from his parents, hadn’t he been so damn busy telling himself it was better for everyone if he stayed out of their business, that he hadn’t had even a minute to spare for his little brother?

And even after returning to Emerald Lake, hadn’t he made sure not to get too close to anyone? He hadn’t looked up any old friends. His mother had to beg him to come to dinner. His father was desperate to take an hour and go for a hike.

And all he’d done was work like hell to shut them out.

Rebecca watched him as he stood there silent before her. He wanted to say so many things, but he knew he didn’t have the words.

Even if he did, he wasn’t sure his pride would let him say them, anyway.

“I care about you, Sean.”

Her words were soft, filled with that sweetness that he craved, sweetness that seeped deeper into his cells with every moment he spent with Rebecca.

“All week I’ve been trying to tell myself to stay away from you.” She shook her head. “But you’re a good man.”

“How could you think that?”

“I’ve spent enough time with you, Sean, to know it. You didn’t have to help me today, but you did because it was the right thing to do. You didn’t have to stay to help with the inn. That wasn’t your agreement with Stu. But you’re here anyway. Even though you don’t really want to be near your family, you’ve stayed to help. And—” She swallowed hard. “I want you.” She was almost shocked by her soft admission. “Even standing here arguing with you, even when you’re making me madder than anyone else ever has, I can’t seem to stop wanting you.”

“If I was a good man I would walk away from you so that you could find yourself someone better.”

She blinked up at him. “You’re not going to walk away right now?”

He slid his arms around her and lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her in a way he’d never kissed another woman. There was heat there, of course, but this time emotion trumped everything else.

A few moments later, he had to say, “How can I walk away from you, Rebecca?”

“You walked away from your family.”

No one had ever called him on his bullshit like the one woman he couldn’t stay away from no matter how hard he tried.

“You’re right. I walked away from all of them.”

“Tell me why.”

“People lie, Rebecca.” He stroked her cheek. “That’s why I walked away. And that’s why I can’t lie to you. I can’t tell you what you want to hear. I can’t tell you that everything is going to work out, that this kiss is going to turn into a happily ever after.”

He didn’t know what he expected her to do, but she didn’t flinch. She didn’t pull away. Instead, she simply said, “Tell me the truth, then.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Good.” Her mouth moved into a small smile. “I’m sick of being hurt.”

If he were smart, he would stop right there, make sure he didn’t say anything else that would drive her out of his arms.

But, then, how could he possibly live with himself?

“Rebecca, I’m trying to tell you that I can’t promise you anything.”

He was surprised by another smile, a bigger one this time.

“Is this where I’m supposed to slap you and call you a cad for kissing me like you just did?”

This conversation wasn’t going like he thought it would. Like it should. Any other woman would have pulled away and written him off.

But not Rebecca. She surprised him at every turn.

“You said it yourself,” he forced himself to remind her. “You’ve been trying to convince yourself to stay away from me.”

“Yup,” she said, as blunt as he was being. “I’ve been working like crazy trying to stay away from you.” She shrugged. “I also can’t seem to help myself where you’re concerned.”

No, he wouldn’t let her veer them back into another kiss. At least not until everything was laid out, clear and on the table, so that neither of them could ignore the truth of the situation.

“Your reasons couldn’t have changed for wanting
to stay away from me.” Suddenly he knew exactly what needed to happen. It was the only way to ensure he didn’t hurt her. “Tell me your reasons.”

“Seriously?” She frowned. “You want to hear why I should know better than to want you?”

“Here are mine: You were Stu’s fiancée. You work for me.” He paused before saying the most important reason of all. “And you deserve to be with a man who can give you everything you want.”

She made a sound that was somewhere between disbelief and a laugh. “Mine is much simpler than that. You’re the beast.”

Whatever he’d expected, it wasn’t that. “If it’s so simple then how come I’m not following?”

“You know, like the beauty and the beast fable. Not that I’m all that much of a beauty—”

“You are.”

“I’m giving a point to you for saying that,” she said with a small smile. “But, see, I’ve spent way too many years finding broken men and trying to heal them.” She shrugged again, but he didn’t buy that there was anything that didn’t matter to her in what she was saying. “Instead, I end up broken, too.”

Wait a minute. “You think I’m broken?”

She met his eyes head on in the moonlight. “Aren’t you? You barely speak to your mother. Your father is desperate for a relationship with you. And your brother has been keeping a secret from all of you his whole life. Did I miss anything?”

Damn, she made it impossible for him to say anything but “Sounds like you’ve got it just about covered.”

“So,” she finally said, “what do you think we should do
about all of this?” She pressed a finger to his lips and he couldn’t stop himself from pressing a kiss to it before he covered her hand with his and moved it away from his face.

“Sleep on it, probably.”

She thought about it for a second. “You mean separately, don’t you?”

Jesus, that mouth—and the way she looked more than a little disappointed as she said
separately
—was definitely going to get her into trouble one day.

“You do know you’re not supposed to say things like that out loud, don’t you?”

“Only because you’re always telling me so.”

He shouldn’t have broken out into laughter. But he’d never been able to help himself where Rebecca was concerned. And even though nothing had been settled, despite things between them being as confusing as ever, he couldn’t help himself now, either.

She looked utterly delighted by him. “It’s even better than I thought it would be.”

No one had ever confused him as much as this woman. “What’s better?”

“Your laughter. I’ve been wanting to hear it for so long.”

“Come here and give me a kiss good night before we go back to our separate rooms.”

“See, what did I tell you?” she whispered as she raised herself up on her tippy-toes and held her mouth a breath away from his.

Telling himself he was going to make sure this was the last kiss of the night even if it killed him to do the honorable thing, he was so dizzy with the desire to taste her sweet lips again that he could barely string two words together.

“What did you tell me, Rebecca?”

He felt her smile against his lips without needing to see it.

“You are a good man.”

And then she kissed him.

A
s Sean and Rebecca lingered over the night’s last kiss, neither of them saw the lone figure standing in the shadows.

Elizabeth had never spied on her kids before. She wasn’t one of those overprotective parents who hovered and asked too many questions. And she certainly hadn’t dropped by the inn tonight to catch her oldest son and her youngest son’s ex-fiancée together. She’d simply come by to see if she could make some peace with her son, knowing too well that she’d done nothing but drive him even further away since he’d returned to Emerald Lake.

She desperately wanted to get back into her car and drive away, but if she so much as moved she was certain they would hear her.

She knew what it felt like to be caught. And even though she knew that Sean and Rebecca weren’t actually doing anything wrong—when she’d cooled down the previous night, she’d had to admit that Bill was right and she should butt out of Sean’s budding love life—she also knew they wouldn’t appreciate knowing she was there watching them.

How, she wondered, as they finally made a move to go inside, could they not hear her heart beating? It had never sounded so loud to her own ears.

So many things were racing through her head, she didn’t know what to focus on first.

Stu was gay. And that was okay. Of course it was. But why had he felt that he had to hide the truth from all of them? Why did he think it would break her and Bill? Of course, they’d made their fair share of mistakes—every parent did, she knew that—but had they really done such an awful job that he felt he couldn’t trust them?

Unfortunately, Elizabeth was afraid she already had her answer in the list Rebecca had given Sean of the reasons she should steer clear of dating him. A list he’d agreed was accurate:
You barely speak to your mother. Your father is desperate for a relationship with you. And your brother has been keeping a secret from all of you his whole life.

Elizabeth had failed both of her sons.

When she deemed it safe to move, she ran to her car and quickly drove away. Bill was waiting for her on the porch when she got home.

“I was wondering where you went,” he said, and then, “Elizabeth, are you crying?”

“I went to the inn to talk to Sean. But he and Rebecca—”

Frustration flew across Bill’s face. “I don’t want to hear it. Whatever they’re doing is their business.”

It wasn’t fair. She wasn’t going to tell her husband about the kisses she’d witnessed. About how they’d taken her back to the first kisses the two of them had shared. Back to a time when neither of them had wanted to say
good night either. Now they couldn’t even be bothered to sleep in the same bed.

But where had her pride—and her mistakes—gotten her so far?

She forced herself to say, “You were right. Their relationship is their business.”

Bill’s eyes widened with clear surprise. “Then why are you crying?”

“Stu is gay.” Realizing what it sounded like, that she was crying over her son’s sexual orientation, she quickly clarified: “I accidentally overheard Sean and Rebecca talking about Stu and she finally told him why Stu left. He was afraid to tell all of us. He swore Rebecca to secrecy because he thought the truth would break us.”

“My god, Elizabeth.” Bill sat down hard on one of the porch rockers. “How could he have thought that?”

She wanted to say she didn’t know, but snippets had been coming to her during the short drive home from the inn. Little signs, like the ones Sean and Rebecca had spoken of, things neither she nor Bill should have ignored.

“Didn’t we always say that Stu was so different from Sean? That he reminded us of my brother?”

James passed away unexpectedly nearly twenty years ago from pneumonia. But the man they’d seen crying at her brother’s funeral had clearly been more than a friend. He’d been her brother’s partner. Only, her brother had never come out to her, either.

“I was such a wreck after James died. Stu must have thought he had to try and marry Rebecca to please us.”

“And when he couldn’t do it, he ran,” Bill confirmed.

“I’ve ruined so many things.” Her legs were shaking and she could feel them about to give way.

Bill was there before she could fall. Just like he always had been before.

“You’re freezing cold. We need to go inside and sit near the fire.”

She was grateful for her husband’s warmth, for the way he cared for her even when she didn’t deserve such caring.