With This Kiss (27 page)

“Is it a dress?”

“No. Not exactly.” She tried to take a breath, but it got all caught up in her throat. “It’s a book of lingerie. This is going to be a slip. To wear beneath a dress.”

He lifted his gaze from the yarn. “Will you wear it for me when you’re done with it? No dress. Just the slip.”

On the verge of melting into a puddle right here on her carpet, she couldn’t speak. All she could do was nod. And then he was kissing her—thank god, because she’d never needed a kiss more—and she had to put her hands on him. Dropping the needles, she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and pulled him closer.

The sound of the needles hitting the floor had him pulling back from her.

“Dinner. I’m taking you to dinner.”

“I have food in the fridge.”

She knew she sounded like a desperate woman, but she didn’t care. She wanted him too much to care.

She saw in his eyes just how tempted he was by the thought of staying in tonight, of chucking in their dinner reservations and making a meal out of each other instead.

“You deserve more than just sex, Rebecca. So much more.”

The horrible thing was, she knew he was right. Only, dinner wasn’t what she was after.

Love.

She deserved love.

Too bad all Sean was offering tonight was dinner. And mind-blowing sex after.

Thirty minutes later they were in Wishing Lake, a pretty town that she hadn’t had enough of a chance to explore on her rare days off.

It was one of those perfect nights in the Adirondacks. The sky was clear, the wind was still, and the air was sweet. Rebecca couldn’t have set the stage any better for a romantic dinner.

Perhaps, she let herself think for a moment, luck was on her side for once. Maybe, just maybe, if she was really, really lucky, was there a chance that the love she felt for Sean wouldn’t go unreciprocated?

“This is a real treat,” she told him as they settled into their seats and the wine was poured. “I love Emerald Lake, but sometimes it feels like I never get a chance to leave town.”

“The Adirondacks are definitely full of hidden jewels.”

The way he’d phrased it had her asking, “Is that why we’re at this lake? Are we hiding, too?”

“I told you I’m not going to hide our relationship, Rebecca, and I meant it. I just thought it would be nice to have our first date for just the two of us.”

He was right, of course. If they’d gone to one of the restaurants in Emerald Lake, every eye would have been on them. Still, she couldn’t help but feel that despite what he said, he might not actually be all that thrilled with being seen with her.

Her nonpoker face must have given her away, because he said, “Tomorrow morning, how about we walk down Main Street holding hands?”

A surprised laugh left her throat. Did he have any idea how sweet he really was?

“I don’t know if we need to be quite that blatant. But thank you for offering.”

“Once Stu returns, once he isn’t afraid to share who he is with the people who’ve known him his whole life, no one will think twice about you having dated both of us.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

Of course, there was a small matter of when Stu was actually going to come back. And what, exactly, he was going to do and say? Not to mention the matter of when Sean would leave…

“I meant to tell you last night about Stu’s lover,” she said, suddenly. “But I got distracted.”

Sean reached for her hand. “Last night was about you and me. No one else.”

For a man who had told her again and again that he wasn’t right for her, that he wasn’t going to stick around in the long term, he was surprisingly possessive about their time together.

She shouldn’t like it. If he were any other man, she’d be remembering the lessons she’d learned from all her failed relationships. She’d be making sure he backed off, making sure he understood that she wasn’t his to possess.

But with Sean, well, she couldn’t help but like it. Because she couldn’t help but want to belong to him.

Of course, she wanted him to belong to her, too.

She was thinking what a huge—and yet beautiful—mess it all was, when Sean said, “You were going to tell me about Stu’s friend.”

Oh, yes. She kept losing track around Sean, especially
when he was touching her, stroking his thumb across the inside of her palm.

“John is someone we’ve both known for a long time. He’s a very nice person.”

Sean’s fingers stilled on the stem of his wine glass and she could see his mind working. Processing. Planning.

“Do you have John’s phone number?”

“What are you planning to do with it?”

“I’m going to call him. I’m going to try to get Stu to come back home.”

Rebecca knew Sean’s heart was in the right place. He loved his brother. No one could doubt that for a second.

“Of course, I’ll give you John’s number. And I know how deeply you care for Stu, but please”—she paused, had to repeat—“please respect your brother’s wishes. He asked us not to contact him. He told us he’d come back when he was ready.”

She could see that Sean didn’t like her answer. “Stu needs to know that I’m there for him. That we all are. We always have been.”

“Deep in his heart, he knows that,” she promised the incredible man holding her hand. “And when he’s less confused and overwhelmed, he’ll remember the love that’s waiting here for him.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“When Stu and I called off the wedding, my family wanted so badly to protect me, to come take me away from it all. But what I really needed was to figure things out for myself, for once. I needed to do it away from the familiar comfort of people who would swoop in and take care of everything for me. I didn’t ask them to stay away because I don’t love them, or think they don’t love me.
I know how much they love me. I just needed to figure out how to love myself, all by myself for the first time. I needed to know that I was strong in my own right. That I’d been right when I decided Emerald Lake was home.”

So many times over the past week, Sean had wanted to get to know Rebecca better. Each time, however, he’d forced himself to push his personal questions away, if only to keep them both away from getting too close.

Last night he’d been unable to resist his fascination with her body. Telling himself it didn’t make sense to keep fighting his fascination with the rest of her, he asked, “How can you be so sure that you’re home?”

“The first time I saw Emerald Lake, I knew it was where I was meant to stay.”

“But you long to travel, to see the world.”

She nodded. “I do.”

“What if it turns out that Paris or Rome or Egypt is really where you’re meant to be?”

She took a deep breath. “Well, I suppose the best answer I can give is that I hope I get the chance one day to see if that’s the case.”

“Why haven’t you, Rebecca? I see the way you are with the inn’s guests. You’re not afraid of meeting new people. In fact, you thrive on it. And if money is an issue, I’m sure you know there are plenty of ways to travel cheap.”

She lifted her eyes to his and he hated seeing the defeat in them.

“I’m afraid to fly.”

Even as she confessed her secret to him, he knew he should let her be. Should stop pressing her. But it suddenly wasn’t enough to know the taste of her skin, the way
flecks of gold appeared in her green eyes when she was crying out her pleasure in his arms.

He needed to know everything.

“Why?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“There has to be a reason.”

Budding anger replaced the defeat in her eyes. He didn’t like knowing he’d made her angry, but he was glad to see the resignation disappear.

“Don’t you think if I knew the reason that I would get past it, get on an airplane, and go somewhere?”

“Maybe,” he said, and then, knowing he was sticking his opinions in where he shouldn’t, he didn’t stop himself from adding, “Or maybe it’s easier to stay stuck right where you are.”

Her eyes flashed. “Says the man who clearly found it easier to leave.”

He should have seen that coming. But Rebecca’s brain was incredibly quick.

And her heart was dead on target. Every single time.

“I had my reasons for leaving,” he told her.

She stared at him for a long moment before saying, “You and I slept together last night.”

“Yes, I know,” he replied. “I was there, loving every second of it.”

“We’re probably going to sleep together tonight.”

He had to smile at that. “I hope so.”

“Me too.” She paused again. “But here’s the thing. I know you’re not promising me love. You were really clear on that. But whatever it is that we’re doing for however long we’re doing it, there has to be a foundation of honesty between us. I know this is our first official date, and on
any normal first date I’d be on my best behavior. But we’re doing things a little backward.” She paused, picked up her wine. “Wait a second.” She took a large gulp. “Okay. Here goes. Why did you leave Emerald Lake, Sean? Especially when I can see how much you love it here. And that of all the places you been and seen, this really is your home.”

He’d known that if he let himself get close to her, this question would come. But that didn’t mean he was any better prepared for it.

“Something happened at home.”

“Between you and your mother?”

“Yes.”

“What did she do, Sean? What happened that hurt you both so much?”

Sean had never been so tempted to give away his mother’s secret. But he couldn’t bear to pass his burden on to Rebecca. Wouldn’t ever want to put her in the position of having to face his father, or his brother Stu, with the knowledge of what his mother had done.

“Right after Stu left,” he said softly, “when I asked if you knew the reason why, you told me you wished you could tell me. But you couldn’t.”

She shook her head, clearly remorseful over the decision she’d made. “You love him so much. I should have told you earlier.”

“No, Rebecca, I can see why you didn’t. Stu had your trust. It’s like that, Rebecca. I don’t want to keep you in the dark, but this isn’t my secret to tell.”

“Neither was Stu’s, but I ended up telling you.”

He suddenly realized she didn’t yet know about what Elizabeth had seen. “My mother was there. In the parking lot last night.”

Her eyes got big. Horrified. “She was… in the parking lot?”

“Yes.”

“When we were”—she took another gulp from her glass—“kissing?”

“She heard our discussion about Stu, too.”

“Oh, no. What have I done?”

“None of this is your fault.” He realized he was echoing his father’s words back to her.

“How can Stu possibly see it that way? He asked me not to tell anyone why he left. And here, I’ve ended up telling everyone.”

Sean loved his brother, but the urge to defend Rebecca was strong. Strong enough that he told her, “He has absolutely no reason to be angry with you.” Anger rushed him on her behalf. “He never should have asked you to keep his secret.”

“But your mother asked you to keep hers, didn’t she? And you’ve kept it. All these years.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. He felt Rebecca’s hand cover his and finally remembered where they were.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “We both know I should think more before I speak.”

He hated the way she took the blame for his problems. He couldn’t give her love, but he could work like hell to give her confidence. To fly. To travel.

And to believe in herself as much as he believed in her.

“You’re perfect just the way you are, Rebecca.”

He’d never kissed anyone in public before, had always been put off by displays of affection in inappropriate places. But tonight, with the moonlight shining in through
the window, lighting up Rebecca’s silky hair, he didn’t care what was appropriate and what wasn’t.

His mouth found hers soft and waiting for his kiss.

“I was planning to take you to my bed tonight,” Sean said a couple of hours later when they were alternately kissing and stripping off each other’s clothes inside her bedroom.

“Mine was closer.”

After the heavy discussion that led off dinner, they’d settled into telling each other stories, each trying to make the other laugh harder. Sean had wild tales of elephants in India; Rebecca countered with tales of things that had happened at the inn, stories he had a hard time believing weren’t fiction.

“My bedroom is only warm when you’re here with me,” Rebecca murmured into the crook of his neck as he lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom.

He lay her down on the covers and moved over her. “Go figure.”

She giggled against his mouth, his kisses teasing, soft. And oh so potent. The ghost, or spirit, or whatever it was, was momentarily content. She could feel it in the energy of the room, the way it simmered at a low boil, rather than teetering on the edge of anger and pain.